Recap: Stephanie brings Ranger around, and they go back to the condo. Ranger reveals to Bobby that he ate a food that might trigger him, and had been taking dream-suppressing medication.

Stephanie

As soon as we entered the condo and Ranger got settled I made a beeline for the shower. I think we both needed a little time alone, at least that was how I justified leaving him to myself. My head was all scrambled up and I needed time to think and straighten it out.

In my own apartment I would have showered until I ran out of hot water. But in a building this size that wouldn't happen until the Second Coming, Ranger deciding to survive on nothing but Tastykakes and cookies, or the Monday morning shower rush. Probably the latter. So I just stood there in the steam, trying to figure out what was going on, and how I felt about it.

After a minute I realized I might cry, and I didn't want Ranger to hear that. I didn't want him to know how scared I was, or feel guilty about what happened to him. I reached a hand out of the shower and stabbed at buttons on my phone until God Smack blared out of the small speaker. Then I sat down on the floor of the tub, opened the small bottle of Bvlgari, and held it to my nose as I wept as quietly as I could.

Ranger

When Stephanie got out of the shower her face was red and a little puffy. It could have been from the hot water, but likely it wasn't. My heart ached for the pain I had caused her. How could I have been with her just a few days and already have made her cry? How could I consider myself better for her than Morelli if this was what I did to her. The towel wrapped around her body did nothing to hide the bruises on her arm, bruises she had sustained protecting one of my men.

"I'm so sorry, Babe."

She came to me and wrapped her arms around my torso, her wet hair leaving a large damp spot on my shirt. "Sorry for what? You couldn't help what happened."

"I should have been stronger. I shouldn't have let you you down like that."

"You didn't let me down." She looked up at me with those bottomless blue eyes, and held a hand gently to my cheek, like I was made of spun glass. "You're the only person in my life who has never let me down."

She slipped her hand into mine and led me to the couch overlooking the cars speeding by underneath. We sat there for a few minutes, watching the never ending stream of lights. I couldn't help remembering that only 6 hours earlier we had been bent over this same couch, and it seemed like life couldn't get any better. Now it was all turning to shit. I turned my head to breath in her scent. She didn't smell of strawberries like she usually did after a shower. She didn't really smell like anything. I gently ran my fingers through her curls, careful not to tug. Finally I broke the silence.

"Should I go first, or you?"

"Either. Which would work better for you?"

I took a deep breath. "You know I can't tell you much about my work. But I'm sure you've guessed most of it by now. The generalities if not the specifics. The truth is I've done terrible things, things that haunt me."

I stared out the window, unable to look at her, terrified that I might look at her face and see horror, disgust, all the emotions she should rightly feel for a monster like me.

"For years I've suffered from nightmares. Sometimes every night, sometimes once a month. But I can wake up from them and not know where I am. I've known men, men I served with, who woke up realizing they were attacking their partners. The nights I've spent with you, or even just when I see you for a few minutes, are the ones where I sleep best. But I didn't want to take the chance, so I've been taking anti-anxiety drugs before going to sleep. They suppress REM cycles, because I couldn't bear the thought that I might hurt you.

"But it seems the dreams are like an emergency pressure valve, and I closed it. So it came out while I was awake. The Gardens reminded me of some of the places I'd been, and I once ate only hummus for days while recovering from a botched operation. Disliked it ever since, too many memories. Put it all together and you have...whatever that was today. Flashback, panic attack, whatever you want to call it. I'm so sorry, Babe. I'm sorry I put you through that, and I'm sorry I'm so broken."

Stephanie

I had tried to figure out what to say to Ranger while I was on the floor of the shower, the water pounding onto my back reminding me of the sound of rain on the roof during a summer storm. I'm not sure how long I cried for, or even exactly what I was crying about. Was it fear for what could have happened if Ranger had snapped and pulled a gun? No, I hadn't ever really considered that might happen, even though Bobby warned me about it. Was it fear for him? Sympathy for what he must be going through? Partially. Certainly those feelings existed.

But I was afraid there was another reason. Ranger had always been bigger than life, unshakable, so in control. He'd been my mentor, my friend, my rock, my Batman. But sometimes Batman is just Bruce Wayne. He was a man, not a superhero. Being in a relationship with him meant I had to accept that. With everything else, I was weeping for the loss of an image of Ranger as a perfect being, capable of anything.

The truth was, he needed me, he needed me to be strong, to support him a tenth as much as he had supported me from the moment I met him. And I would do it. Because he had always always been there for me. Because I…..I

I turned off the water and wrapped myself in a towel, turned off the music, and stepped outside the bathroom. We sat on the couch and he told me his secrets. That he was scared he would hurt me in his sleep, so he took medicine to stop all his dreams. That the side effects meant the horrors of his past came out in his waking hours instead of his sleeping ones. He told me that his most restful night were when he had seen me, even if we weren't sleeping in the same bed.

And then he apologized for being broken. And hearing him do that broke my heart. I sat up straight and looked at him, he nervously avoided my gaze. "Ranger, you are not broken. You are the best man I know." I gulped. It was time to say it. "That's why I L…."