The next day things went back to normal. The royals were preparing their long journey home. Only the Lightwoods stayed. They would be staying for the courtship. When it was time for the wedding they would need to be there. They needed to recognize our marriage before the king. It was the only way to have the marriage legal and binded. Once we were married, there was no turning back.

I had not seen any of my betrothal since the dance yesterday. I was glad that was the case. I couldnt get Jace out of my mind. I could not get the thought of him near me. It was almost too much to bare. I felt sick when i thought of my upcoming courtship. Me and Alec would be required to spend alot more time together. I dreaded this upcoming event. My heart belonged to another!

Some people might call it foolish, but my heart knew what it wanted. And it wanted Jace Wayland. I was caught in a trap. I was betrothed to another. There was no chance for a girl like me and a boy like him. I felt my hopes wither. He was low born! My father would never accept him as my husband. Common born were never considered for the royal bloodline. Their blood was no better than dirt.

I was expected to get to know my husband. I was expected to woo him into taking me. He could break off the attachment at any time if he chose. That was what this courtship was for. It allowed the suitor to know his bride before he consummated the marriage. Men always got that choice. Woman were never allowed to say no.

Maybe if i acted repulsive he would call it off! But then i would have to suffer my fathers wrath. He would know of my actions and i would be punished for them. I couldnt believe the situation i was in! How could i pretend to be happy with someone i didnt love? I had loved Jace at first sight! That was how love was supposed to work. I had fallen for him the moment i looked into his eyes.

He had captured my heart and even down to my soul. I had never felt like this before, and i definitely didnt feel that way for Alec. He was handsome sure, but he evoke the same feelings that Jace did.

I didnt know what to do. I went through the day as normal as possible. I instructed the servants on what flowers to plant. I watched the daily happenings in the castle. I tried to stay occupied. I didnt want to think of the despair lodged in my chest.

My fathers adviser came to me. "Your to meet with your betrothed in the sun room. You will be supervised so dont think your woman fantasies will happen tonight."

I almost couldnt believe that! Did he think we were going to mate right there on the very floor? How dare him. I was a princess, i knew how to act like a lady. I pushed my way past him and made my way to the sun room. When i reached the archway i stopped to calm my beating heart.

I entered as dignified as i could. Alec was leaning up against the open window. It was a huge window cut into the castle walls. It was designed this way to allow as much sun in as possible. Alec looked solemn as he looked out onto the grounds. My father had positioned a guard near the door. I had almost missed him standing there.

I walked toward Alec, and when he turned around i bowed.

"Its nice to finally speak to you, my lord." I said as light as possible.

"And i you, i had never imagined your beauty as much as it is. I have heard much but i needed to see with my own eyes." he said confidently. I could see his eyes flickering to the guard by the door. Why did this feel false? It was almost like he was saying what he had to say. I composed my thoughts and began to speak of trivial things.

When at last we were allowed to leave, i knew more about my betrothed then i ever did. He was an arrogant arse. He didnt seem interested at all in what i had to say. He acted a part of a script. The script that i had no part of. He was always checking to see where the guard was. He didnt want to speak to me at all! I didnt understand it.

I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth.

Over the next few days, i played the part of the obedient wife. I met with Alec on more then one occasion. None of them mattered much. He was obliged to assist me to the healers chambers. Magnus had to inspect me to see that i was still pure. He was required to stand by and wait for confirmation. If i was found unpure, the marriage would be disbanded.

Me and Alec made our way to the healers den. It was at the highest point in the left tower of the castle. I was almost out of breathe by the time i reached it. I knocked politely, a calm voice replied.

"Enter."

So we did, I was amazed to see Alec was instantly alert. We were standing in front of Magnus, he knew why we were here. Magnus's eyes were not looking at me, he was looking at Alec. Why had Alec suddenly come alive? He never looked this interested when it was just us talking. I couldnt understand him at all.

Magnus tore his gaze away and gestured for me to come with him. I followed him behind a sheepskin cloth. It made it so Alec couldnt see me naked, and it made sure Alec could hear as soon as the verdict was reached.

I felt no worry, no man had made a claim on me.

I undressed and allowed Magnus to examine me. It was over in a few minutes.

"Shes pure." he mumbled.

Did i detect displeasure in his tone? Was he not happy with the fact i was untouched? He had me undress and i walked back to my betrothed. He was sitting in the chair while my procedure was done. He stood up straight when i reentered with Magnus on my heels. His eyes went to Magnus's face.

"Thanks healer, i appreciate the good care you have serviced my...wife"

Was i mental or did i notice a glance between those two? Why had he hesitated when he thanked him for his service to me? Did those two know each other? He acted more alive when we went to the healer than he ever did. I wondered as to the reason why.

Alec left me at the main hall. I decided i was going to walk around the gardens. I needed time to think. I walked out into the sun and headed east. I was instantly at peace when i was surrounded by my beautiful flowers. I stopped to sniff the roses. When i looked up, he was there.

"Jace? How?" i stuttered.

He smiled and my heart lurched in my chest.

"I got employed right here in the castle. They were inquiring over a animal handler in the village. I came forward and told them my expertise. They hired me that day. I have been trying hard to reach you, but you were always inside the castle. Im just the stable watcher, i wouldnt ever be seen in the castle." he said in a rush.

I beamed at him. This was perfect. He would always be in the castle now and i could see him whenever i wanted. How lucky could i get? I grabbed his hand in mine. I turned to look around me. I couldnt let anyone see us. I led us to the thickest of bushes and pushed him through. Behind the bush was a little enclosure. The bush hid us from view. I sat next to him, just happy to be in his presence.

We spent that sunny afternoon together. He had leaned close to me and planted a kiss across my cheek. I blushed as red as a rose. We spent the afternoon talking. We talked about our hopes and dreams. I spoke to him about how i wanted to be a better ruler than my father. He had sat silently though out it all. He seemed to be in thought.

"I never really thought of this, but what are we doing Clary?" he asked. I loved how he used my shortened name.

"What do you mean? We are talking?"

"But your a princess, and im just a common man. Your father would never let it happen." he whispered.

"Dont worry, i will think of a way. I feel for you Jace. I know it sounds crazy but i feel as if i have known you forever. You make me feel alive in all the ways i never have been."

He leaned over to kiss me hard on the lips. I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and pulled him to me tighter. His lean body pressed against mine. It was a hot day outside, and i still didnt care. I pressed myself against him as hard as i could. I could feel his member stiffening through his pants.

I broke from the kiss out of breath.

"We need to slow down. I cant think when your pressed against me." I was flustered. I have never known what it was like to kiss a man. My thoughts lingered to dangerous ideas and i started to get aroused. I quickly thought of something else.

"I understand, i will wait for you. I will wait for you as long as it takes. When will i see you next?" He asked me, looking at the darkening sky. I didnt want him to go but i knew he had too. Someone might wonder as to where he was.

"Tomorrow when the sun is highest in the sky."

He smiled and leaned over one last time to kiss me. It took all my willpower to not indulge in this wicked event. I couldnt lost my virginity right here in the dirt! He broke the kiss and i slipped out of the bush before him. I took one last look behind me to see him smile and walk back to the stables.

My face was red. I felt desire burning in my gut. I wanted him so badly. I wanted his seed burning inside me. Dear god, i needed to calm down. I couldnt think these thoughts, i was a lady! A proper lady didnt think these things especially out here where everyone could see! I ran to my chambers. I needed to see him again. Or else i would die from this desire. This awfully wicked desire, that crawled throughout my entire body. Leaving me weak with need.