Two updates in one day. If you didn't read the one where Steph is recovering in Ranger's apartment, be sure to go back and read it as well.

Recap: Stephanie has a boring day resting to recover from her injury, and is about to go to her parents' place for dinner

Stephanie

My heart was pounding and my hands were sweaty. Ranger got out of the truck and walked around to help me with the step down. It was unnecessary, but sweet. I steeled myself as we walked the few yards to the house, the distance feeling like it was miles.

"Hey, you brought the one with the nice package" Grandma said, breaking some of the tension. I gave her a hug.

"Yes Grandma Mazur, but you can't touch it."

"What do you mean? I'm an old lady, I got rights."

Oh boy. Just what I needed. My boyfriend being groped by a septuagenarian.

"It's nice to see you again Mrs. Mazur, Mrs. Plum." He said, kindly ignoring all discussion of his genitals. He's so thoughtful that way.

"It's nice to see you too Mr. Ranger." My mother said, her lips tight through a smile I hoped he didn't notice was forced.

"Just Ranger is fine. Mr. Ranger was my commanding officer."

Great. Now I get funny Ranger. Just as sexy as Commando Ranger and Armani Ranger, but slightly less predictable. I started to walk into the house, leading Ranger to the living room. I groaned internally when I saw the table. It was crammed with chairs. There should have been 5, but instead there were 8, plus 2 more at a card table.

"Mom, are Val and the kids coming over as well?"

"Yes dear, she called and said she was running a little late. Mary Alice refused to put on shoes unless they were made of metal, because that's what horses wear."

If I had been late for dinner, it would have been a calamity of epic proportions. The potroast would be dry, the vegetables rubbery, the cake stale. But mom just shrugged it off coming from Val. Sure, she had kids, but it's not like the food would know why it wasn't being served immediately at 6.

I looked at the table again and counted, ticking people off on my fingers. Then I double checked. "Mom, why is there an extra chair?"

"Extra chair, honey?"

"You, Dad, Grandma, Me, Ranger, Val and Albert. 7 adults, 2 kids and a baby. So who is the extra chair for?"

Her look of guilt told me everything I needed to know. "Mom, you didn't invite Joe, did you?"

"Well, I was hoping you would see him and could reconcile. You aren't getting any younger, and he wants to marry you."

I winced at the idea of spending the rest of my life dealing with the put-downs, the snide remarks, and the biting sarchasm. And I dreaded seeing him again so soon. I had told him in no uncertain terms that he was not to try to see me, including at my parents house. Honestly, I had really been hoping he would respect my wishes. It would make a friendship down the line a lot easier, and I didn't want to completely lose him from my life. We had been through too much.

"If Morelli is coming, than we are leaving." Ranger said in his calm, measured voice. It was only because I knew him so well that I could see how angry he was. His jaw tightened as he kept his emotions in check.

Mom backtracked. "He didn't agree to come. He said he had to work every night this week. But I told him I would have a place if was able to get a bit of time off."

A sense of true relief flooded me. Not just for not having to see him tonight, when it would be too soon, but because it seemed Morelli was going to honor my wishes. I knew his routine, and while he often worked long hours, it would be very unusual for him to be scheduled to work nights all week without being able to leave for 45 minutes for dinner. He had given my mom an excuse that wouldn't hurt her feelings or raise suspicion, but that also meant he wouldn't make me uncomfortable.

My thoughts were interrupted by galloping. Mary Alice had come in the door at full speed, followed by Angie walking at a sedate pace, Albert chasing after Mary Alice, and Val carrying the diaper bag and the baby.

"Oh good, you're all here." Mom said in a far too cheery voice. "I made baked chicken and mashed potatoes."

"I thought we were having fried chicked." Mary Alice whined.

Ranger looked down at her without missing a beat. "Horses don't like fried breading. It gets caught in their teeth."

Mary Alice looked up at him. He was about 2 feet taller than she was, and his biceps were about the size of her legs, but she wasn't intimidated. "Are you sure?" she asked in a voice that was part defiant, and part worried, like she was wondering what she should do if it turned out horses didn't like fried chicken. I decided not to mention horses didn't eat meat at all. Mom would deny me pineapple upsidown cake forever if I turned Mary Alice into a vegetarian.

Ranger nodded seriously at her. "Think about it, you can't hold a toothpick with a hoof, so picking something out of your teeth is really hard if you're a horse. So, no fried food that makes hard little bits that might get caught."

Mary Alice pondered that for a moment, then seemed to accept it. "Why are you all in black? Are you going to a funeral with Grammy later? You shouldn't wear boots to a funeral" she said, pointing to the combat boots he was still wearing.

Ranger shuddered at the thought of that little field trip, though barely perceptibly. "I wear all black because I'm no good at matching colors. So if everything is the same color, it's easy. And I wear the boots to protect my feet. What if I went bowling after dinner and dropped a ball on my foot? Without my boots I'd break my toes."

I suspected that the boots were more out of fear that I'd stomp on his toes to get him to stop talking about something than to protect him from bowling balls, but it seemed to make sense to Mary Alice.

"So, your boots are like horseshoes? They keep your feet safe?"

Ranger nodded. "Just like horseshoes."

Satisfied, Mary Alice sat down at the card table across from Angie, who was sitting primly, napkin in her lap, calmly waiting for the food to show up.

Mom brought the food out from the kitchen, and we all sat down. Grandma made a move to sit next to Ranger, but I headed her off and sat him next to Albert. I really didn't want Grandma to try to feel him up during dinner. Both because it would be really awkward for him, and because I'm sure he was carrying his gun. He probably wouldn't shoot her, but if she made a grab for the gun she might shoot dinner. Again.

Food was served onto plates and passed around. Ranger ate his baked chicken and even some mashed potatoes, despite the butter and salt. Dad stayed silent, as always. Val started nursing when Lisa got fussy. I had been worried for a moment, but Ranger took it in stride. Then Albert tried to convince Ranger that he should hire him to be legal counsel for Rangeman.

"I'm a great lawyer, well, not great, but I do OK. And I'm always available, anytime, anyplace. I mean, I'm busy with all my clients, but for you I'd always be available. Because you're friends with Stephanie, not because you're scary. Not that you're scary. I mean, you're a little scary, but not like, horror movie scary. I can't watch horror movies, they give me gas."

I stared wide-eyed at Val, hoping she could do something to shut him up. He was going to either dig himself into a verbal hole so deep he'd faint, or give himself a heart attack.

"Honey," Val said. "Can you get the other blanket for Lisa? I left it in the car."

"Uh, sure hun. I'll be right back."

Albert scrambled away, probably relieved to have been interrupted in his verbal diarrhea death spiral. But my relief came too soon. Because Grandma Mazur looked Ranger straight in the eye.

"So, Hot Stuff. What are your intentions towards my Granddaughter?"

All eyes, including the baby's, fell on us.

Gulp.