She is so beautiful. He thought to himself as he watched Esme dig up weeds in the garden. Her delicate white skin sparkled in the sunlight although she was completely covered in mud. It was a little odd seeing Esme dressed in more casual clothing. She wore her air up in a messy bun and rarely did Carlisle ever see her in just a pair of shorts and a white tank top. However, he noticed the way her tank top hung loosely around her breasts and instantly he wanted to...
"Dad?" Emmett knocked on the door.
Carlisle jumps in his seat and grabbed his heart as if he was really going to have a heart attack. He had been watching Esme from his study after he heard the last child leave and slam the door. He thought he had the house all to himself for once, but he supposes that with six children he couldn't really ask for much. It did, however, surprise him to see that Emmett didn't go hunting with his other siblings.
His son smirked and leaned against the door frame. "Stalking, are we?"
Carlisle rolled his eyes. "It's not stalking when it's my own wife. Can't a husband admire his beautiful wife?"
"Fair enough." Emmett raised his hands in defense.
Carlisle chuckled. "What on earth are you doing here son? I thought you were going hunting with your siblings"
"I went hunting last night before Nessie spring recital."
"And why did you do that?" Carlisle wondered.
Emmet sighed. "Dad I need some advice. It's about Rose."
"Oh?" Carlisle raised a brow. "Well, maybe you should have a seat then."
Carlisle noticed how unravel Emmett looked as he took a seat in front of his desk and placed his hands over his knee caps. Emmett typically had a rather cooled personality and not much bothered him beside Jasper cheating at a game of baseball. Carlisle began to feel a little uneasy as he tried to think about what was wrong. Did he get into a fight with Rosalie? What on Earth did Rose say now? Carlisle knew that Emmett was naturally the trouble maker in the family and sometimes that got Rosalie's last nerve. However, his daughter had also loved Emmett more than what Carlisle ever thought was possible. He just couldn't imagine what either Emmett or Rosalie had done to create this wedge between them.
"Everything alright son?" Carlisle asked. "What happen? Is Rosalie okay?"
Emmett slowly looked up and meant his father's gaze. "Dad, how do you love a broken woman?"
At first, Carlisle sat in his seat feeling a tad stunned. He never imagined in a million years that he would be in this situation with his son. Emmett. Out of all the children, it is Emmett who finally wants to have a serious conversation. But how to love a broken woman? What does that mean?
Emmett rubbed the back of his neck. "I know it's a little strange, but it's just...well…"
"Rosalie still lives in the past," Carlisle whispered.
Emmett sighed and nodded his head. Carlisle now finally understood what he meant. Years ago, he had run into the same issue with Esme and it took a while to convince her that she was finally safe. Esme had been abused by her previous husband and although she barely remembers her human years, she still hasn't forgotten the physical trauma she endured right before she lost her infant son. It's the type of pain that Carlisle would do anything to get rid of, but unfortunately, Esme will always be haunted by the memory of her ex-husband.
He couldn't even imagine how Emmett must feel right now.
Carlisle still recalls the night he had found Rosalie cold on the side of the streets. He was returning home late one night and notice a strange smell coming behind the garbage dumpster. Carlisle usually didn't pay attention to such things (considering they were living in Chicago at the time), however, something made him want to investigate. And sure enough… he had found the young women battered up and entirely exposed (missing half of her clothing). She had blood trailing down her legs and her face was almost unrecognizable. Carlisle quickly checked her pulse and realized that she had only minutes (possibly seconds) before she would pass away. At that particular moment, he just couldn't help himself. Rosalie will never quite understand why Carlisle had changed her, but truthfully he did it because he wanted to give her a second chance. He also saw something in Rosalie that reminded him of Esme and how could someone waste such beauty?
Since her transformation, Rosalie has struggled to adapt to her new immortality, but selfishly Carlisle doesn't regret changing her. He sees the way his wife adores their daughter and he feels blessed that Rosalie was placed into their lives for a reason.
How to love a broken woman though?
"I know it's a stupid question and-"
"No, no." Carlisle interrupted Emmett. "It's definitely not a stupid question."
The truth was that for the first time ever in his existence, Carlisle Cullen didn't really have an answer for his son. He briefly glances outside and sighed as he watched Esme place new flowers in the garden. She had been a God-given miracle and Carlisle couldn't believe that she had actually loved him back. Esme was many different things, but he would never describe her as "broken" although she was a very broken woman during the last moments of her human life. They didn't have any difficulties until things had gotten physical between the two and then all of a sudden Esme started to slowly remember the abuse from her ex-husband, Charles Evenson. Carlisle remembers accidentally raising his arm a little too fast one day (in order to embrace her) and Esme had flinched and cowered away from him. He understood that it was just out of habit although he felt terrible for frightening her. And if that wasn't bad enough… sex was a total nightmare during the first few years of their marriage. Esme would sometimes scream when he had barely touched her or she would push him away when she couldn't handle it. His poor sweet wife was miserable and she couldn't bear sex for the longest time. They didn't even have it until two years after their marriage. It never bothered Carlisle, but he knew it upset Esme and he remembers feeling so helpless at the time. He just didn't know what to do to make her feel better.
Emmett sighed. "I feel like I can't win some days and I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. She's either completely in love with me or she wants absolutely nothing to do with me."
"Emmett your not doing anything wrong." He ensured his son.
"But why doesn't she want to be with me dad? Why can't she just love me?"
Carlisle glances into his son's eyes and realized the type of pain that he was in. It was the same pain that Carlisle felt many years ago. Why won't she touch me? Is there something I'm doing wrong? How can I fix it? What if she never same after all of this? He had asked himself these types of questions every night before he headed home from work. However, Carlisle eventually understood that it wasn't his fault. It was the bastard who beat his wife's fault. But why couldn't he make it all better? He was her husband and it was his job to make the tears go away. He watched his wife cry almost every night and she said things that he knew she didn't really mean.
It was such an exhausting experience for both of them.
However, Carlisle came home from one day and decided that he wasn't going to give up on Esme. Instead, he was going to make sure that Esme had felt special each and every day. He began by leaving flowers in their bedroom with little love notes attached before he went to work in the mornings. He also spoiled her with different types of gifts (although she complain that he was doing too much) and schedule Saturdays as their routine date night. He always made it clear to the hospital staff that Saturday's was his day off and if they had needed him, they would have to wait and call the next day.
It didn't take long before he watched his wife blossom with these simple acts of love. She was an entirely new woman. She accepted the past and chose to move on. She no longer cried and worried that Carlisle would stop loving her. She was more than what Charles Evenson had ever made her feel. Esme Cullen was a stronger person than that and she wouldn't take that type of abuse ever again. Carlisle was just so proud of her and he was completely at awe with the way she transformed.
But how should I explain this to Emmett?
Carlisle inhaled a deep breath. "Emmett she loves you more than what words can ever describe. In general, Rose has a rather cold personality and it's difficult for her to express signs of love and gratitude. You understand how bipolar she can be depending on the mood of her day.
"Yeah.." Emmett snickered a tad.
Carlisle smiled. "Emmett, do you remember when you first meant Rose?"
"She was mean as hell."
"Yes." Carlisle chuckled. "However, Rosalie practically begged me to transform you after she found you almost dead in the woods. She had sort of a twinkle in her eyes that I've never seen before. For the first time in years, she had actually been excited about something. I agreed to change you because I truly believed that you would make my little girl happy again. And son… you haven't disappointed me or your mother."
"But is it enough for her though?" Emmett wondered.
Carlisle faced the window and focus his attention on Esme as he spoke. "Son, we have something in common that Jasper nor Edward will ever understand. We were given the gift to watch after a woman who's been mistreated and abused by someone else. I label it as a "gift" because it takes a special person to love someone who's been so broken and mistreated from the past. I'm not sure if we'll ever be enough for Rosalie or Esme. However, we can still love them through it."
"How can I love her though?"
Carlisle grinned slightly and turned to his son. "You should love her for the fact that she's still standing, while she's falling apart inside. For the way that she gets up every morning to face the sunshine, although she battling the darkness inside her. Love her for bringing color back into your life and for the warmth to the freezing caves of your mind. For always putting a smile on your face and having a laugh so contagious that you're left wondering if sadness ever existed inside her. Love her for her. Breathe with her. Cry with her. Or even just wait for the sunrise next to her and appreciate every second you get to spend time with her. Take a chance or a leap of faith. Fill the void in her heart, because maybe you are the only person missing to make her whole again. She will be the love you've constantly prayed for. Just give her some time and don't push her too far. She will come back to you when she ready."
Carlisle had left Emmett speechless. He had never thought about it like that before. Emmett began to realize that his love for Rosalie could move mountains or defeat evil sea creatures. He would even give up his own life for her. His father (like always) had been right. It was such a gift to love someone who needs it and to be the man who is capable of fixing the broken pieces. Emmett finally found his worth through Carlisle's words. He might not be what Rosalie needs at the moment, however, he was never going to leave her side and instead he was going to take baby steps until she felt right again. In the meantime, he was going to love the hell out of that woman. He had felt motivated and he knew that he could do this.
"Dad I can't even begin to explain what I feel right now." Emmett choked.
Carlisle shook his head. "No need to say anything Emmett. You got some work to go do. Run along now."
Emmett beam. "Thanks, dad! I really mean it!"
His son jumped up from his seat and ran downstairs. Carlisle chuckled and turned his attention back on Esme. She was still replacing the old flowers with new ones and she had never looked so beautiful than what she did now. He decided to leave his study and join his wife outside. He carefully sneaked up behind her and grabbed her waist. Esme no longer acted surprise or even frighten. Instead, she giggled and leaned against his chest.
"May I help you, Dr. Cullen?" She teased.
Carlisle smirked. "Actually, you can. I'm looking for a Mrs. Cullen. Have you seen her?"
"Mrs. Cullen?" Esme hummed. "Mhmm, I don't think so. My apologies doctor."
"That's alright I suppose I could find her right…. here!"
He picked her up and twirled her around in his arms. Esme squealed as she held on until Carlisle set her back down on the ground again. She turned around his arms and laid a soft passionate kiss on his lips as she stood on her tiptoes.
"Do you even know how much I love you?" He asked her.
Esme grinned. "I could probably take a guess."
"And what is your guess?"
"You love me…" She thought for a second. "A lot!"
Carlisle laughed. "Much more than that."
She raised her brow. "Do you love me more than the sparkling red Ferrari in the garage?"
"Of course." He said.
"Do you love me more than baseball?"
"Yes."
"Do you love me more than the hospital."
"Most definitely." He snickered. "Esme Anne Cullen I love you more than all the grains of sand on the Earth. Land and ocean. I love you as much as Emmett loves football and Alice loves shopping. I love you today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and even the next century. And I will never stop loving you for as long as I'm alive."
"Oh, Carlisle." She sighed, happily. "I love you too."
He leaned in closer and kissed her deeply. It was at that moment that Carlisle realized that he had loved Esme more than what he ever loved himself. He was willing to do anything for this woman and he would spend the next century (and so on) showing her what true love is.
It's something he knew that they both would never get tired of.
