Clarissa

Jonathan left the room. I wrapped my arms around me. I was cold inside and out. I felt broken and weak. I tried to fight him off, but to no avail. He had taken me without consent. I didnt know how to cope. I tried warming myself by rubbing my hands over my arms. It wasnt working.

What kind of evil was he? To take a woman without her consent? To take pleasure in something that wasnt yours to take? How could he wake up each morning and not feel guilty? I had known their were monsters but i didnt think i would know a true beast like him. He had relished in the pain he had caused me. He had no regret for anything.

I shuddered back a sob that threatened to escape. My tears had long since dried. I was numb. I sat up on the bed and looked around the room. My gown was a torn mess. I went to the chest beside the wall and dug around. I found a cloak of my fathers. I tried not to shudder as i slipped it on.

I was now covered at least. All my clothes were in my chamber. I would have to wear this for now. My skin itched where the cloth covered me. It was almost as if i could feel my fathers dead soul still inside.

What was i to do? I felt like just laying in bed til i died. I didnt have anything left for him to take. He had brought me down lower than i had ever been before. How was i to ever get over this? This invasion of my own body. I felt used and diseased. His seed still seeped out from between my legs. I was at loss.

I sat back down on the bed. I didnt know what else i could do. I could run but he would find me. But how could i even get away? Jace's father was long gone by now. I doubted he would still take me when his son was inprisoned somewhere in the castle. Jace!

I needed to see him. I needed to see that he was alright. Where would Jonathan keep him? Surely not here in the upper part of the castle. Servants would wonder as to why a man was being held captive. It had to be somewhere secluded. Where in the castle was there such a place?

The dungeon! It was the only place in the castle that was dark and creepy enough. It could hold many people and not effect the people in the castle. But where was it? I couldnt remember. My mind was so fuzzy and it was hard to think. I remembered a time when Jonathan and i were young and he had locked me in there. But where?

Jonathan had pushed me inside and turned the latch. I had screamed for hours from the other side. I had pounded my tiny fists against the door for hours, until a bewildered servant had called a guard to check it out. My father had not been pleased. I couldnt remember where that door was!

I knew it was in a secluded section of the castle. There was a statue of a knight beside it. It had a heavy wooden door. I would remember it if i could see it again. But where could it be? The only places that weren't well known were the east wing, where my chamber was, and the underwing of the castle. It had to be there!

But how do i get out of here? I had little energy and my body felt torn apart. I went to the door and listened. I could hear a guard outside shuffling his armored feet. I would have to get rid of him. I looked around the room for some kind of weapon. I saw a candelabra and picked it up. It was heavy in weight and small enough to conceal in my robe. I went to the door and knocked.

The guard opened the door hesitantly. He was a young man with a kind face. I shuddered to think what my brother would do to him, but i didnt care. I had to find Jace!

"Where is my brother?" i asked feebly.

"He went out miss."

"Where?"

"I do not know my lady."

"Well i wish to go find him." i declared. The guards eyes went wary.

"Im sorry, but his orders were to keep you here."

"But i am a princess, surely you can not keep me here?"

"Im sorry, but orders are orders." He said with a stiff voice. I could tell he was a little unnerved to be speaking like this to me. My brother had made him his puppet. I felt sorry for the man, but i had to do what i had to do. I slid the candelabra out from my sleeve and swung it hard. It connected to his face with a loud crack. The guard fell to the floor in a heap.

I dropped the candelabra and looked around me. I was in the royal chamber hallway. I needed to find the archway that led into the lower areas of the castle. I walked cautiously down the hallway. I made sure to listen to every sound in case i needed to hide. I couldnt be found just yet. I peered around corners as i went along. Finally i made it to the underwing.

A door led me through into a long forgotten corridor. Cobwebs and dust were everywhere. Nobody was allowed though here. The men who went in, most certainly did not come out. My father had used this plenty in times of war. I shivered at the thought of how many lives had been lost here. One single torch burned from a socket. I tugged the torch out and held it high. I could see a few feet in front of me.

When i found the knight statue i knew i had the right place. The knight was chipped and corroded, but it was the same statue. I looked at the door and gave it a push. It creaked open. I peered down into the gloom. Chills ran down my spine as i looked into the pit of darkness. Nobody could hear me scream from down here. I slowly made my way down the steps.

I heard voices behind me. Oh no! Somebody was coming to check out the dungeon! I looked around me and had to think quick. Jonathan would not hold him up here. These levels of cells were bigger and more decent than the rest. Jace would be kept farther below. I looked frantically for the door that led me down deeper.

I ran as quickly as i could. It would take the guards some time before they could check all the cells. I would have at least some time before they found me. I was on the second level. Smaller cells were all around me. I couldnt detect any sign of movement or sounds. He was not here. What if he was dead?

I stumbled along the best i could until i found another door that opened to more steps. I descended as quickly as i could. I found another similar room as before. Jace wasnt here. I found another door and started to go down the steps. These stone steps were even more cracked and worn. This was a place not many visited. It was old and rotting.

I could see nothing, water dripped down on my head from above. It was as silent as a tomb down here. I felt fear creep into my skin. I didnt want to be alone down here. The silence gave me the creeps. The stairs went down for what felt like hours. My legs were tired by the time i reached the bottom. I held my torch up high. There was only one door down here.

I walked closer and tried the latch. It was locked! I lowered my torch and searched around. There was a tiny chunk out of the bottom corner of the door! Years of rot and mildew had rotted away a small portion. I dropped to my knees and brought the torch closer. My hair was getting singed.

"Jace?" I cried softly. I could feel tears threatening to brim over. He was all alone down here in the dark.

"Jace are you in there?" i whimpered.

I didnt hear a sound. I sat back and let out a sob. Where was he? Did Jonathan kill him?

"Please lord in our Heavens above, dont let Jace be dead! Have some mercy on my soul!" I cried out into the darkness. A sound came from the door. I scooted closer and put my eye to the gap. It was pitch black inside. Was it Jace that made that sound, or just a rat?

I was close enough that the door was digging into my face. My heart thudded hard inside my chest. I hoped with all my heart that Jace was inside!

"Jace, its me Clary!" i cried louder than i had before. I heard more noises from behind the door. It sounded like someone was dragging something. I waited patiently. The noises coming along regularly now. Whatever it was, it was coming. I had just enough time to be scared before an eye appeared in the gloom.

It was an eye i knew well.

"Jace!" i cried, tears falling down my cheeks. He didnt reply. I took a look at as much of him as i could. His eye looked hollow and lifeless. What had Jonathan done? I pushed my lips through the gap and kissed him. His dry cracked lips didnt respond.

"Jace are you okay?" i asked. His eye blinked, i couldnt see much more than his lips and his left side of his face. The door hid most of his features but i knew him too well. It was Jace but he was different.

"Jace its me...Clary."

His eye found mine and held.

"...Clary?" he finally asked.

"Yes Jace, its me Clary." i cried. I slipped my hand under the door and touched his lips. His face felt gritty under my fingers. Why was he so dirty? Surely Jonathan was feeding him? He didnt just leave him down here to die?

"Where is...your brother" he said weakly.

"I dont know. I dont know how much time i have left before they find me. I just needed to see you!" I looked deep into his half hidden face. His eyes were still dead and lifeless. Why was he so defeated for? I longed to be in his strong arms once more. I had to find a way to get him out of here! There had to be a key somewhere. I just would have to find it!

I heard voices coming from behind me. They had found me quicker than i had thought! I only had a few more moments. I looked deep into Jaces eye. I wished i could see him face to face. Someday soon, i hoped.

"The guards are coming, i have to go. I love you Jace Wayland." i said tenderly. His eye never left mine as i took the torch away. His gaze was swallowed by the darkness. Sobs caught in my throat as i left him. The guards caught me on the steps. My fingers and toes were numb. The cloak had not kept me warm. I let them roughly drag me through the dungeon. My brother would not be happy.

I was led back to the royal chamber and tossed inside. Jonathan was already there. My breath came out erratically. What was he going to do? He stood with his back to me. His arms laced behind him. I didnt know what to expect, but surely not this. I stood as silently as i could. My fear was coming on thick.

He spoke without turning around, "Ah, there you are. I wondered where you had gone off too." His voice was like a shard of glass, brittle. He was angry. I could see his anger rolling off of him in droves. He would not just let this one go. I didnt care, i needed to see Jace. I had to make sure that he was still alive.

I didnt answer. He didnt expect me too. His voice was filled with displeasure as he continued.

"Im disappointed in you. After all that i have done, you go and do this? Whatever for?" he asked. He turned around. His eyes burned with fury. I had never seen him like this. His eyes burned with a fever i had never known before. I didnt answer him once again, his eyes were burning into me.

"What do you see in him, that you dont see in me?" he cried. I couldnt answer, i didnt want me or Jace to be in more trouble.

"Why wont you love me?" he hissed. My answer was only silence. He walked forward until he was just a few inches away. His eyes disturbed me. It was almost as if i could see into his soul, but Jonathan had no soul.

"I see you have met our guest." he murmured coldly. I couldnt stay silent any longer.

"What are you doing with him! Why is he locked down there in the dark!" I screamed into his face. My emotions were running high.

"He is where i want him to be!" Jonathan screamed back.

"You cant do that!" i yelled savagely. His reply was a swift slap to my face. My cheeks burned from the blow.

"You have no authority to tell me what i can and cant do! You are a woman and you are beneath me! You best learn your place before i make you learn it!" He spat viciously into my face. His eyes burned with anger and hostility. It took all my courage; i spit into his face.

He stepped back, his eyes shone with shock. His fingers came up to wipe the spit away. He had not expected me to retaliate. I felt victories for only a moment, because the next words chilled me to my bones.

"Jace is dead."