Clarissa

I felt pain, blind searing pain. My head was clouded and i was disoriented. Where was i? Was this the afterlife? Surely it wouldnt hurt this bad? I heard myself scream but i still couldnt open my eyes. What was happening to me? It felt as if i was being stabbed in the arm repeatedly. I succumbed to the darkness and felt no more.

When i finally started to come too, i noticed many things. My arms were on fire and my head felt light. I felt as if i was floating on air. The pain wasnt as bad as it had been. It was now a dull ache. I opened my crusted eyes and looked around.

I was on a bed, heavy blankets crossed my body. I lifted my arm and pushed them away. I then noticed the bandages wrapped around my arm. I was not dead! Someone had found me and brought me back here to the healers. I didnt succeed in my attempt. I was a slave just the same.

I grabbed the bandages and tried ripping them off. I was weak and my hands fumbled badly with the cloth.

"I wouldnt do that if i were you." a voice called from across the room. I opened my eyes wider to adjust to the light. Magnus Bane walked closer to my bed. He handed me a water skin which i drank greedily. I felt weak and lightheaded. When i was done, Magnus took the skin back and sat across from me.

His glowing eyes peered deep into mine.

"Why are you with Alec?" i asked weakly. To my knowledge, him and Alec were lovers and he was supposed to have went back with Alec after the fiasco over our wedding. Magnus's eyes turned soft, and he looked away.

"Thats none of your concern Clarissa." he declared softly.

"Why did you save me." i whispered. He had to have known my intent.

His eyes returned back to mine, his lips glistening.

"Surely it cant be all bad?" he asked. We both knew the lie that it was. He knew better and so did i.

"I dont want to live in this world Magnus, please let me go." i pleaded, i extended one hand and clasped his. His skin was cool and firm under my hand. He didnt take his hand away.

"Death is not the fix for your problems."

"Then what is? I cant live anymore like this Magnus. What good is there in a world where you dont belong?" i said with a little more strength than before.

"There was a time in my life Clarissa, where i felt i didnt belong either. But life goes on, it always will. You must find a way to make it though." he said distantly. He grabbed my hands firmly, "Dont rip the bandages or i'll have no choice but to tie you down."

He let my hands go and walked away from me. I watched his back as he left me to my own thoughts. I stared into my hands. A single tear fell into my hand. I couldnt even kill myself correctly. Magnus was just in the other room. He would check on me to make sure i was okay. Jonathan must have him in his clutches as well. I was safe no where.

I laid my head on the pillow and just cried. My wrists were thrumming with dull pain. It was driving me insane. I wished i could just itch under there, but i had no clue as to what Magnus even did under there. It would have to stay on and i would have to suffer the itch that i couldnt scratch.

Over the next few days i stayed with Magnus in his chambers. On the third day he came over to redo my dressings. I longed to see what was under them. He took a small pair of sizzors and cut the cloth carefully. Then he peeled the cloth away to reveal my mangled wrist. Blood caked around the wound. He had apparently stitched it the best he could. I would have scars for life. I was amazed at the ferocity of the wound itself. I must have been in a very dark place to have done such a thing.

He cleaned the wound and rewrapped it. His hands moving expertly over the afflicted area. He was done in a mere few seconds. I waited til he was done til i spoke.

"What did Jonathan say?"

His eyes were busy tying the dressing closed, "He was angry."

"How angry?"

"Angry enough to beat the first slave he saw, senseless. Your actions effect others, remember that." he spoke softly, not looking at me.

"Why havent i seen him?" i asked.

"He has other matters to attend to." he said curtly. I wondered what these matters included. My brother couldnt stand the thought of me leaving him, but he wouldnt even come see me on my deathbed.

"When am i allowed to leave?" i asked.

"Not long now. Your wound is healing very well and its coming along nicely. I'll have to let Jonathan know your okay before i can let you out of here. I assume he will come along himself or send someone to fetch you."

I felt my heart lurch in my chest. I didnt want to see the face of that monster. I would find a way to escape him. I had failed this time, but next time i wouldnt. One way or the other, i was getting away from Jonathan Morgenstern.

Magnus finished tying the cloth and stood up. His black hair was untidy around his head. I looked up into his wise eyes and felt safe. It felt as if Magnus was a good person. Surely he couldnt touch that tenderly if he was a monster? Jonathan never even faked being nice.

I tried one last time, "Please i dont want to be here. If i have to be here any longer, i will not fail next time."

His eyes saddened at this, he turned from me and began to walk away. His back was rigid as he stood there. He turned back around. His eyes were pools of grief.

"I decided to stay here because i couldnt stomach the thought of leaving you here by yourself. All of us knew about Jace and not one of us warned you. Alec was content with letting Jonathan have his way. But i am not. I have lived in this castle for many years. I have seen the little monstrosity he had grown up to be. I felt that it wasnt kind leaving you like this. " His eyes were gleaming by this point. "You are a beautiful soul Clarissa Morgenstern. You are one of a kind and you can not die. You must live on, for yourself and for your people."

"But i have nothing to live for, Jace is dead." i cried.

"Clarissa when have you ever known your brother to speak the truth? Your brother is not fit for King. He is too cruel, too vain, and too mean. He must not reign for very long."

"So your saying hes lying?" i asked, my eyes rising to meet his. His eyes met mine and i could see all the truth i needed to see.

"Yes Clarissa, Jace is alive."

Authors note: Yes this one is a little short. But keep on reading away, more to come as soon as i can type it. Thanks for all the support!