A/N: RUNNING OUT OF F WORDS, BUT HAVE SO MANY PLACES THIS STORY COULD GO! I hate when I get overly ambitious... Speaking of, I was thinking about making a full-length story (15+ chapters) with this ABCs thing, but I'm not exactly sure how I could do that, or what letter to do it with. We shall see how that happens. I may end up scrapping that idea to work on the full-length one that I have in mind instead. We shall see. Enjoy! R&R!

FIRE

Chapter 5: First

Ben awoke the next morning in the same place as he had drifted to sleep. It didn't take him long to orient himself. He briefly wondered if he was already oriented as he was coming out of sleep at the hyperawareness of her being in his arms the whole night. Nonetheless, he let out a sigh of content as he listened to the rhythmic breathing of the smaller woman against his large frame. His eyes finally opened, a glimpse of brown chestnut hair gracing his vision first. He allowed himself a small grin when he realized she'd shifted closer and up during the night. Towards her sense of comfort, maybe? He placed an almost unnoticeable kiss to her hair, his body springing to life at the brief hitch in her breathing. He hadn't meant to wake her up. He quickly closed his eyes, wondering if he could fool her with pretending to sleep. What would she do? He didn't know if she made it a habit to talk to herself, but he was eager to find out. Quickly, he leveled out his breathing and acted as if he were sleeping.

Rey's eyes opened as she let out a soft sigh of contentment, the same as he had done not too long ago. She realized how close he was and smiled softly to herself, Ben feeling the smile against his skin. He was partially grateful that he'd chosen a tank to sleep in, otherwise, he would have probably missed it. She placed a tentative kiss to the underside of his jaw and then retreated back into his embrace. She allowed her much smaller body to cling closer to his, as if clothes were getting in the way; that air itself was getting in the way of their closeness. Such a travesty, but a much welcomed one, Ben realized, as he knew he wouldn't have self control if they were wearing any less.

As she stayed in his arms, she idly let her fingers dance across his warm toned arms that held her so securely. This man had been an unlikely source of comfort to her. He'd been a first for a lot of things for her, she realized. The first to kiss her. The first to stay with her in the hospital in her whole life of many visits there. The first to confess to her as openly as an awkward person could. The first to drive her heart to beat harder than some outlandishly cranked up bass in a stereo system that threatened to eject her heart from her ribcage. The first to cuddle with her on a couch. The first to hold her while she slept. The first... that she woke up to beside her. Ben was first for many things. There was no way she could express her feelings to him. Would he think her insane? Was it too soon to say she loved him? That she needed him? He was the first person to make her mind race in so many different ways at once. It was welcomed, yet not. She was on fire, yet ice cold. She was drowning, yet flying all at the same time. Little by little, he was invading the reality that he'd slowly become a part of. The fact that she was starting to dread two days from now. The fact that... she didn't want to be separated from him.

She felt tears threaten to spill over her eyes at any moment as she curled closer still to Ben. The man who had shown her such kindness and expressed himself in such a way that made her fall for him that much more. She came to realize that all of this made sense. All of what they had, what they did, how they acted... all of it made sense. Like she had been fighting it for the longest time and now she finally gave in to it. She wondered if she was maybe moving far too fast. She had just told him last night that she was going to hold back, but her heart wouldn't allow her to do such a stupid thing. She didn't know if Ben was holding back, or if he wanted to. He hadn't been inappropriate with her or anything. She practically had to beg him to stay the night with her and hold her.

That was another thing. Had she forced herself upon him? Was all of this that she thought she sensed in him merely a fantasy? Was it real? She honestly didn't know. She didn't know anything. While she was content just being held by him, she also just wanted to scream at the top of her lungs how much she loved him. It was just three simple words, but they could make or break anyone's relationship or friendship. Those three words that were never said to her, and she wondered if they ever would be. Those three words that she both longed to hear, but dreaded to hear at the same time. It was so simple. She wanted to say it. She should say it. No, she shouldn't. She had to hold her tongue. She couldn't just say things like that an expect everything to be fine. They most certainly wouldn't be fine. Not this early in the game. He would take it that she was moving too fast and it would probably scare him off. Heck, if their roles were reversed, it would probably scare her off, too. She'd barricade herself in some room until she could go back home.

But they were there on the tip of her tongue, threatening to come out. To tell him how much she appreciated him. To tell him that she didn't want to be without him. To tell him that, despite barely knowing him, she already felt this bond with him that just made sense. She wanted to say what was on her mind. Her mouth wouldn't communicate. She tried to will her mouth to get used to the words. She had to say them sometime, right? If not to Ben, then to someone else. That thought pained her chest so she threw that thought out. No, it was Ben. Ben was the only one that understood her. The only one that gave a rip about her. The only one that took such time with her, despite knowing her circumstances. The man that sort of lied, just so he could be closer to her in the hospital and find out how she was doing first hand. The man that... despite his own discomfort (because let's face it, hospital chairs are so uncomfortable), stayed with her until she woke up. The man that captured her interest. That captured her affection. Why couldn't she say those three words to him? What was so hard? Just say it! I love you! I love you. I... love... you...

"I love you, Ben," she whispered, her voice relaying she was in a thoughtful daze. She felt Ben's body stiffen around her and she realized she let it slip. Her own body stiffened in his grasp, wondering if he heard her. Judging by the heat that sprang to life on his cheeks, and the set of eyes that were staring back at her, wider than the gaping chasm she felt in her chest at the mistake that just befell her. He was awake. He heard her! "B-Ben-"

"Again," he breathed, as if wondering if he heard her right. She stared at him curiously. Could she change what she said? Make up something similar sounding to it to get him off of her tail? But what really sounded similar to those words without sounding utterly ridiculous? She felt him shifting so he could gently hold her face, his face softening as he gazed, silently pleading with her, to repeat herself. "Rey... say it again," he whispered, his own heart racing a million miles a minute, she heard.

She blushed darkly as she stared into his eyes, noticing the subtlety of how his lip quivered and his breaths were shaky, as well as the gentle hand on her face. This suspense was killing him. It was breaking him down. She sucked in a sharp breath when she allowed herself to hope that, for just a moment in time, that maybe... maybe he felt the same she did. It was what coaxed her to say it again, at his request. "I... I love... you."

And then, as if someone decided to have mercy on her bumble, she saw his face contort with such a brilliant, loving smile that she thought she'd pass out from the sheer beauty of it. The way the corners of his mouth curled up, revealing the subtle dimples on his cheeks. His lips stretched into a beautiful, heartfelt smile as his normally dark eyes were a brilliant shade of melted amber as they watered before her. She felt the delicate caress of his thumb on her cheek as he stared at her with that beautiful smile that seared itself into her mind, never to be forgotten. He pressed his lips urgently to hers, spurring her own body to react in such a way that they didn't seem like two people anymore; no, they were now one. Their heartbeats melded together into one synchronized beat, their lips moving furiously on each other's, as if they were each other's only life line to keep from sinking in the world. Her own hands held his face, pulling him closer to her as tongues met in a flurry of passion and... love.

He pulled away so they could get their breath back, that beautiful smile on his face as his forehead met hers. She bit her lip in suspense. Sweet relief came just in time. "I love you, Rey," he whispered with just as much admiration for her as he felt. It was her turn to experience all these feelings she'd never felt before. She'd felt a deep gaping hole for so long, as if no one cared about her, or ever would. That deep chasm swiftly closed itself up, like two sides of a parted sea that finally came back to each other in a furious slosh of water as it mingled and rejoined as one. It shook her to the core that hearing those words, with her name on his glorious lips, would do something so earth shaking. She felt her heart beating so hard it threatened to crack a rib, each hammer a swift punch to her insides as it pulsed a loud beat into her ears. Her face was twenty shades of red deeper as she felt her own lips pulling in a wide brilliant smile that showed her childish side. If she was any less of a woman, she would have giggled right then and there, but she restrained herself as she threw her arms around him and pulled him close to her, wanting to hide the tears that were now spilling down her face. She was loved. She was wanted. She was needed.

By him.

He chuckled at her reaction before he placed an affectionate kiss to her temple, his hand rubbing up and down her back, as if feeling this was really real and not just a sick, twisted fantasy that his mind deluded him with. She was here. She was really here in his arms. And she'd reciprocated his feelings. Ben felt his world suddenly morphing into something other than a monochrome hell. His world started to burst with color. The only color that she could provide him. His ray of sunshine broke through his dark gloomy clouds effortlessly. All it took were those three simple words that held so much promise, yet so much fear. And she'd told him first.