Notes: Inspired by a what if scenario that came to my mind after reading Kizuna's novel. So this has spoilers.
This was possible thanks to my beta Kailey Hamilton, you really saved me with your help and support! This is my first English fic so I apologize for any mistake.
The Aftermath
Sora never imagined that realizing the end of her relationship with Yamato would come in the form of a message. A text message from Taichi, to be more specific.
It's nothing special, just a "can you go to the bridge?"and she knows that it's about a Digimon. The thing is, the one who always contacted her in those cases was Yamato.
She made it clear when they started to get more Digimon appearing in the human world, that she was busy, and to only contact her when there was no one else who could go. She told them to think of her as the last option and Yamato, as the understanding boyfriend he was at the time, offered to do that. He also said that if he could, he would go himself, so Sora wouldn't be troubled.
So the times when she was actually required to go were few and far between, but now… well, she needs to start getting used to the idea that she won't have any help from now on. Because now she doesn't have a boyfriend who can give her a most-needed hand, no.
Now, she only has herself and the text messages from her friends, announcing that they need her help.
.
.
There's a stitch in her heart as she reads Hikari's message in the group chat. She's planning a meetup. Apparently, it has been two months since their last one, and Sora hadn't even noticed. It really feels like it hasn't been that long, but she reminds herself that it doesn't feel that long to her because she's used to seeing Yamato on a daily basis. And seeing Yamato was basically like seeing the rest.
She's not sure if she's ready to confront him. They haven't seen each other since their last encounter when they—or more like she, decided to end their relationship. It was something that needed to happen anyway since both of them were pretty much going opposite ways.
That of course doesn't mean that it didn't hurt, because Sora has a hard time remembering the last time she cried the way she did that day when, with a sincere smile, wished Yamato good luck in whatever comes next for him. And he wished her the same because they were—still are, good friends.
Or at least that's what she likes to tell herself.
.
.
At the end she goes to the meetup because she has to, and also to prove to herself that she's stronger than she first thought. Also because she may or may not have promised that she won't make things awkward between them and their friends.
It was basically the first point they mutually agreed in their breakup talk, and she's complying like the responsible adult she believes she is.
Too bad Yamato excused himself for that day. He doesn't come to the meetup. She assures herself she's not mad—ha, she might be happy about it. At least now she won't have to pretend that she has any desire to talk to him.
Because, in case it wasn't clear, she doesn't. It's not because she hates him. Quite the opposite. It's because this thing about them being friends hasn't been working at all. And she's okay with that, at least at the moment, because she's giving herself enough time to grieve and she's almost sure that Yamato is doing the same.
They're meeting up in a new coffee place that recently opened near Taichi's job. He said the place looked amazing and wanted to try it with them. And the invitation was a total success, almost all of them are there, even Jou took some time from his busy doctor—resident, Sora, I'm not a doctor yet—schedule to be with them, against all odds.
That surprises Sora, and she waves hello.
"Sora!" He greets her back, "I didn't expect to see you here." He takes off his gray scarf and takes the seat beside her.
What she didn't expect is for him to have thought that way.
"I don't know why I wouldn't be here!" she replies half smiling, half curious. "That should be my line, don't you think?"
He briefly smiles and shakes his head.
"Well, you know... " he starts nervously, "Yamato told me about you two and I thought…" He looks away, to the front more specifically, where Hikari and Takeru are making their entrance. "I thought you wouldn't want to be here," he finishes, and Sora has to add that to the list of things she didn't expect that day. It's increasing at a surprising speed.
"He's not here." Jou turns to look at her with wide eyes. "And even if he was, there's no reason for me to avoid this meetup." Even if I was just thinking of doing that an hour before coming here.
Jou weights her answer and nods once, twice and then, sighs. Sora is just there watching him, not knowing how to interpret whatever is happening.
"I'm sorry" he apologises, "I shouldn't have said that to you as soon as I saw you."
Sora downplays what he's saying with a gesture of her hand.
"Don't worry" she simply says. And please don't make it more awkward she wants to add but decides against it. There's no need to complicate it even more.
What she can do is ask him how he's doing in medical school, and is about to do that when Taichi appears out of absolutely nowhere. She jumps a little after his hello.
"You two have been enough time alone," Taichi says in a jokingly serious tone. "Koushiro said that he only has an hour and a half for us, so it's better not to waste time."
"I heard that!" Koushiro screams from the otherside of the room and the three of them laugh.
Sora follows Taichi's steps and decides that she shouldn't be overthinking the situation. She'd expected Yamato would have already told one of them about the break up. She didn't expect that would be Jou, but that was a thought for another day. What she needs to do now is just relax, enjoy their time together, and stop thinking of avoiding them again.
.
.
Except that's exactly what she's doing. Taichi's is on the other end of the phone and she's making her best effort so her excuse will sound believable. Okay, what she's saying is not a complete lie because she is, in fact, very busy with her classes and helping her mom in the academy. The only thing that's actually a—small?—lie is that she doesn't have time to see them.
Because she has time, she just doesn't want to spend it with Yamato.
And of course this time Yamato is going along with whatever plan they, or more like Taichi, has in mind. Taichi who suddenly wants to talk to them. Taichi who probably already knows about their breakup.
Taichi who is making it impossible for her to refuse his plan. But if he's stubborn, she's even more so.
"Look, Taichi, for the twelfth time" she starts, patiently, "I can't go for dinner with you and Yamato." She expects that now that she's specifically said their names and their plan he would understand.
"Is dinner, Sora, and you always have time for dinner!" He retorts. "So stop making excuses because honestly, that's not like you."
Ugh, why is Taichi so… Taichi.
"I was just planning on eating a sandwich while working." And maybe eating a gallon of ice cream. Most likely.
"Sora, don't be stubborn. You can't avoid him—us," he corrects himself quickly, "forever!"
And there it is. She knows what all of this is, although she admits he almost convinced her, but now that she's sure that this is not about Taichi having dinner with them but about her confronting Yamato, she can't help but feel a little betrayed.
She's unaware of how much Taichi knows about their breakup, but she really doesn't have any desire to talk to him and Yamato, about how things shouldn't be different because they're still friends. She already knows that, but a little time to readjust her feelings doesn't kill anyone.
"I appreciate what you're trying to do but trust me, I won't be the best company." She hears him sigh dramatically. "Besides, I don't think Yamato would appreciate it if I make a surprise appearance, don't you think?"
"So you knew?" Taichi has the decency to sound ashamed.
She smiles.
"I have known you for almost 20 years, Yagami Taichi."
"It was since the first hello, right?" She's now laughing. "Dammit!"
She continues laughing and it doesn't take him long to follow her. She hopes that after this conversation, he will stop trying to make things easier between Yamato and her.
.
.
Or not…
Damn you, Yagami Taichi!
She texts him quickly after finding herself alone with not other but Yamato Ishida. She's so going to kill him.
Her phone buzzes soon after her text is sent and she's waiting for a reply, but to her surprise, she's getting a call. Well, if he wants to hear her screaming, she's gonna give him that.
She's about to tell him what's in her mind but he goes ahead of her.
"It wasn't my idea!" And that statement baffles her.
So, she recaps her morning.
She had breakfast with her mom, they talked about the very imminent, very important, very big event to take place in the Ikebana academy—don't forget it, Sora!—. Then she checked her phone that for some mysterious reason had been buzzing non-stop since she sat with her mom.
There's a lot of messages that she didn't bother to read, is not like they were talking about something she wasn't aware of anyway, and scrolled until the last one. Nothing in the last text told her that there was an important conversation happening so she left the phone in her desk to do more productive things.
An hour or two went by when she decided that the insistent light of her phone telling her that there was something she needed to see couldn't be ignored anymore. So she went directly to the group chat, again, but noticed that it wasn't the general chat the one that was having activity, but the smaller one. The most personal. The one that only Taichi, Yamato and her were part of.
It took her more time than necessary to just click on it and check whatever conversation Yamato and Taichi were having, and even more to read and not merely look at the letters and words. They were planning on meeting that very same afternoon and that would be great if they weren't talking about it where Sora could see —read and be aware of— what they were saying.
It was like a big joke that she wasn't part of but somehow needed to witness.
She wanted to mute the chat and just went with her life but something inside her was almost screaming that that would be unfair. She could still perceive the nostalgic tone in the conversation and it was like a punch in the face.
She could have ignored them, that was the logical step. But Sora must have had lost her dear friend logic, when she wrote "I'm going too" that was quickly replied to with a thumbs up emoji from Taichi and a simple "good" from Yamato.
They ended up talking about plans and places and even shared some details about their college life. It was easy, so easy... that Sora forgot that it shouldn't be.
.
.
The minutes go by and the silence that she and Yamato submerged themselves into as soon as Taichi explained what really happened, is suffocating. Apparently, as much as it looked like it, Yamato's big idea wasn't planned at all and the conversation in their personal group chat was real and honest.
They did want to meet, the three of them, what they didn't expect was for Sora to agree. So Yamato didn't hesitate to use this opportunity to have some time alone with her. That's why he told Taichi to give them some time to talk before joining them.
She hears Yamato sighing and she can't help but sigh as well. This is the most uncomfortable she has been since she got her period on a tennis match when she was fifteen. At least at that time she was sure she wouldn't see the audience again, and that's something she can't assure will happen with Yamato.
Because they will see each other, forever —that's pretty much one of the most certain things in her life.
He opens his mouth in an attempt to talk, but then closes it again and crosses his arms. Sora is having none of it.
"Come on, you were the one who wanted to talk" she says with an almost irritated tone, "so don't hold back and speak."
He looks at her in the most Yamato way. As in, clearly telling her that he already knows that and she doesn't have to repeat it, because he's gonna do it, in a minute or two.
"I know that, but thanks for the reminder." He's using sarcasm and Sora is… confused to say the least. Why is he getting annoyed?
Who would have thought? Three months without talking and suddenly she can't understand him anymore.
—except that that's a lie. Because it's obvious why he's irritated: he's afraid. He's afraid of the aftermath of this conversation, and that's almost endearing. At this point he shouldn't be afraid of what will happen with them, the worst already happened when their relationship ended.
She's aware that it was too much to ask to just go back and be friends, there's a lot of baggage between them. Fucking hell, this man was her first… everything, and she also was his first. There's nothing wrong with having time apart, especially when there's a lot of obvious and unnecessary feelings between them.
And maybe she also needs to remind these things to herself as well. It's just that, it's hard. And Sora doesn't like to admit it, but she's hurt, even if it was her idea to end the relationship.
But she still loves him—God help her because she does.
She's absorbed in her thoughts and feelings when Yamato decides to talk again, that's why she doesn't hear what he says.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" She asks with honesty but instead of answering, he rolls his eyes. A simple gesture that angers her. "Listen, if you're gonna act like that…"
He interrupts her immediately.
"I'm not acting in any way, you're the one ignoring me!" She snorts and that makes him stand up, shaking his head. "I'm gonna call Taichi and tell him that it's not necessary for him to come. I'm going home."
And after saying that, he walks out and leaves her there alone. She's in shock, she wasn't ignoring him, she was fucking thinking of how much she still loves him! So against all of her beliefs and all she is, she goes after him.
It doesn't take her much to find him and for the first time, she's thankful that Yamato is a slow walker, which used to annoy her when they were dating. But there's not time to be thinking about that.
She calls his name and he doesn't hear her the first time, or the second, not even the third or the fourth. The fifth time, he turns to see if she's really the one calling him and stops when he notices her running towards him. This would be a perfect movie moment, except that she's not gonna throw herself into his arms and passionately kiss him.
Even if that's exactly what she wants to do.
Sora stops a few steps in front of him and raises her hand so he gives her some time to take air. She really needs to start exercising again, that wasn't even a long run! He looks at her a little concerned, even more surprised, but waits for her to talk.
"Thank you for stopping!"
"Sora…"
"I know, I know." No time to beat around the bush, get to the point. She takes some more air and...
"It hurts to see you" … she opens her heart to him.
He doesn't expect that. It's all written in his face, in the way he's clenching his jaw, in the way he's looking at her. With that sentence, she pretty much explained her absence in the group chat, or any meetup they've had.
She can see that he's also confused. There's a "well, you were the one who decided to end it", dancing around them and growing by the second. And yes, she's aware of that, thank you very much, but that doesn't mean that she has stopped feeling.
Yamato nods in understanding and Sora smiles a little, thanking him for not making questions.
"Is the same for me," he whispers after a while, and Sora can feel a hole expanding all over her chest.
She can't help but ask herself if she did the right thing. To her defense it really felt right at the time, and she's sure that after this encounter it will feel right again. Even if everything inside her is screaming otherwise.
So she does her best to silence every voice and just end all of what's happening between them.
"I understand, and that's why I decided to take a step aside. Not everyone has to know, besides it's true that I'm busy with the academy and my studies so it really is natural…" She stops when she notices she's babbling, and also because Yamato is looking at her with such a confused expression, it's almost comical.
She takes a deep breath, and starts again.
"What I'm trying to say, is that I'm not gonna be around that much. They need you more than they will even need me." And I'm sure you also need them, she doesn't say it but it's implied. "Of course I'm gonna be there when it's extremely necessary but all I'm asking now is time. Alone, with myself." Please let me forget you.
He nods clearly not knowing what else to say, she made it all clear so honestly, why would he refuse? She knows she's being selfish, but this is maybe the first time that she's putting herself first over anything.
Even the love of her life.
"I just have one question," he says after a minute, she nods for him to continue. "Can we at least have this afternoon? I don't really think Taichi's coming."
"But you said…"
"No, no, what I said it's true, he was coming but," he shakes his head, probably realizing that it's better to show than to explain, and gives his phone to Sora. "Look."
Sora takes the phone with a confused face. She looks at it and what she finds doesn't surprise her a little; is Taichi's Instagram, making it clear that he's already entertained, because he's about to watch a movie with Hikari and Koushiro.
She can't help it, she laughs and Yamato laughs with her.
"Guess is only the two of us then," she says and she really has to admire how composed she sounds saying that.
"Just like the old times," is his answer and she would agree except that is nothing like the old times, because they're not gonna end the day in his apartment. But they do end it in her building, when it is past ten.
After deciding to spend the afternoon together, Yamato takes her to a new place some of his classmates recommended to him. They resolve to eat there and, to Sora's surprise, Yamato asks for a beer. He almost never drinks in front of her but maybe that was his way to tell her they're friends.
As strange as that sounds.
Later, when they finish eating, he invites her to walk around the city. Yamato is surprisingly talkative —maybe the alcohol, Sora thought—, and confesses that he's still indecisive about his future path. Sora can relate a little, although she isn't indecisive about her future, but about how to leave her past behind.
He offers to take her home after she casually spurts that it's getting late. He says he has his motorcycle with him and she refuses at first, but if she's honest, she really wants to ride with him for the last time.
And now they're there. She's not gonna invite him to take tea with her mom or tell him that she's gonna call him later, before sleeping.
Even so, they joke about what they would be doing if they were still a couple and maybe that's why, when he closes the distance and kisses her like he always did, she doesn't refuse him, quite the opposite, she kisses him back harder.
Because it has the feeling—and taste, of a last kiss.