Chapter 26

"I can't believe you pulled that off!" Mission praised excitedly as the companions left the track office. As for Zaalbar, he had commented that he would take the swoop bike back to the Hawk. He had had enough of the desert and its 'hospitality' and left Mission in the safety of Jedi company.

"That was brilliant! All of it, and the way you talked to that fat slug! Just brilliant!"

The Jedi merely shrugged. "Hutts fall easily to their egos. It's only a matter of knowing how to stroke it."

"I don't ever want to stoke anything of a Hutt's." Mission cringed making a sour face.

"Disgusting."

"I actually can't believe you got away with calling him 'most flatulent opulent one.'" Bastila grinned. "I half expect you to call him something more derogatory. Like telling him to 'deal with life's little disappointments, rolly-polly' after Zaalbar dismantled his droid." Bastila came up to Ravensong's side and rested her hand upon the other Jedi's arm.

"Ah you know me so well, Princess," the former Dark Lord smirked. "I was going to say something along those very lines but I liked toying with that slug's glutinous head and twisting it to my will."

"It had satisfying results. And now with the credits you won on the track and the stipend the Council gave us we should have enough to cover the cost to buy a translator droid we need to communicate with the Sand People." Bastila said. "Shall we proceed then?"

"Not just yet." Skye shook her head. "Mission, report back to the Hawk, relieve Onasi from baby-sitting duty."

When the girl opened her moth to protest, the Jedi lifted a single finger and to silence her-which she did immediately. "You and Big Z will stay there until called for. I made a promise to you Kid and I intend to keep it but the three of us have other things that need attending to right now. Also, tell Big Z I need landmines- a lot of them. If he can construct grenades, he can make other munitions. If he gives any grief about it or refuses, you will remind him of his own obligations to me. The answer of no is not an option. You will tell him that I need enough frag mines to incapacitate- if not kill- a krayt dragon.

"Which incidentally we're going to do. It's where the Star Map is located. Or so we think. Its where the visions show the map to be in some kind of cavern. Oh and one more thing, whatever you do try and keep a low profile. Malak had his dark Jedi goon squad tailing us. They're dead now but there may be more of them. Understand?"

"I get it." Mission nodded. "I'll be more careful. I won't let you down again, Skye I swear."

Ravensong nodded then gestured with a flick of the wrist that the teenager was dismissed.

"She truly idolizes you." Juhani commented watching as the blue skinned Twi'lek darted towards the docking bays.

"She'll get over it." Skye muttered.

"Not anytime soon. You saved Zaalbar once again and you are treading into the dangers of dealing with Sand People to rescue her brother. I think the hero worship will stay until her last breath, my friend." Juhani said with a voice filled with experience. She still harboured deep affection for the Jedi Master that rescued her when she was a child. Revan... even when she fell, when she was killed by then Padawan now Knight Bastila. Juhani would always remember the gallant Knight as she was.

"I didn't ask for that." Skye softly admitted.

"And that is why you will live in her heart." Juhani smiled. "It is no terrible thing for her to look up to you a Jedi rather than the scoundrel her brother seems to be."

"Maybe. But as from my experience, heroes tend to fall pretty hard and fast from the pedestals they are put on. But you have a point- rather she follow the footsteps of the Jedi rather than a guy that keeps abandoning her. Speaking of family..." the Jedi looked to her bondmate, "we should head for the cantina."

Bastila shook her head. "That isn't necessary. We don't have the time. We should simply collect the translator droid and head out to the Dune Sea."

"Come on Bas, you said you'd go see your mother."

"No, Skye I said I would consider seeing my mother. Which I have. I have decided not to do so."

"Oh no no no." The Nagai stepped in front of the human. "We're doing this."

"It is my mother and..."

"Exactly. . This may be the last time you'll get the opportunity to see her." Skye put her hands upon her hips. "You know I'll just keep pestering you until you give in."

"Ugh." The Sentinel sneered. "You are behaving more immature than Mission!"

"Yeah, the only thing is..."the raven-haired Jedi smirked, 'she can't pester you in here.' In a mocking mind trick manoeuvre the former Dark Lord chanted, ''Go see your mother. Go see your mother. Go see your mother.'

"Oh do shut up!" Bastila growled. "Fine, I will go see her."

A smug smile played on the older woman's lips. "I win."

"Child."

"Princess."

Juhani leaned against a building wall chuckling softly as she watched the entire amusing display unfold. They were quite evenly matched: skill, wit and heart. And she felt something more, something they quietly danced around-their growing affection for one another. Though forbidden, it was there. Of all people Juhani was the last soul that would caution against what her sister Jedi were feeling for one another which reminded the Cathar to contact Belaya before Skye led the party out into the desert wastes.

The desert cantina held the smell of all seedy drinking dens. "Unpleasant" was a generous term. The three Jedi could not help but wrinkle their noses in distaste. It'd take a few moments to adjust to the stink but at least the air conditioning units were working- or the stink of sweat, stale alcohol and smoke would have been a whole lot worse.

It took a few seconds for their eyes to adjust to the dim lighting of the cantina. Once they did, the Jedi started to scan the room and its alcoves for Helena Shan.

"You see her anywhere Bas?" Ravensong asked not knowing exactly who she was looking for, only someone looking like her bondmate, just a lot older. She didn't spot anyone fitting that description.

Bastila stepped further into the cantina looking deeper into alcoves. At the sound of her breath being drawn in, the former Dark Lord knew at once that Bastila had found her mother.

Juhani and Skye both flanked the dark-haired Jedi like guardians for their queen on a dejarik board. The latter placed a gentling hand upon the human's arm. Bastila touched the Nagai's hand before moving forward.

"Yes? What do you want?" Helena asked looking up from drink to the descending shadows that crossed her table.

"I'm here mother, or don't you recognize me?" Bastila's voice was a cold as Ravensong had ever heard it.

In the same highborn accent, Madame Shan retorted in an equally removed tone: "What do you expect? When I haven't had so much as a picture of you since you left?" the elder Shan looked her daughter up and down, her arms fold over her chest. "Do you know how long I have been trying find you?"

"Pfft. You knew as well as I that communication would be impossible once I joined the Order. Now what is this all about? Where is Father?"

"Then you haven't heard." Helena sighed.

"Has something happened to him? Are you going to tell me or not?" Bastila spat.

"Your father is dead, Bastila. That is part of the reason I was looking for you..."

"Dead?!" Bastila's eyes searched for clues in the face of her mother. "What happened?" Grey eyes grew colder still. "What did you do to him?" she hissed.

"Isn't this a lovely reunion." Helena scoffed. She turned to look at her daughter's companions. "Already slinging insults at me. Tell me, you're one of her friends." She addressed Skye, "do you treat your mother this way?"

Ravensong was taken aback. As if the word mother was alien to her. She furrowed her brow and blurted out. "My mother is dead if you must know."

Bastila whipped her head around at this admission. Something indescribable crossed her face then she quickly returned her hardened gaze to the woman who bore her.

"Is that so?" Helena said causally as if asking for another lump of sugar in her tea. "I'll be joining her soon enough I suppose."

"I was told you were sick, Mother." Bastila drawled, "are you actually dying or is this merely melodrama for my benefit?"

"Such sweet things you say." Helena sighed. "Well I suppose I should tell you everything before we start arguing again," she turned and reclaimed the seat at the little round table she had taken.

After a pause, Bastila made a move for the table but did not sit, nor did her companions. Bastila's voice grew darker. "You can start by telling me what you got him into that killed him."

"I hadn't realized Jedi were so spiteful." Helena inclined her chin haughtily, eerily much like her daughter's guests. Rather, perhaps it would be more accurate to say the reverse. "You want me to tell you I brought your father here for an expedition, do you? You want to blame me for his death? You never accepted that your father enjoyed going on his treasure hunts leaving you alone with me. I was always to blame for everything. What else is new." Helena whipped her eyes of tears. Ravensong couldn't tell if they were true or crocodilian. "Well yes. Fine. I bought your father here to look for krayt dragon pearls."

The three Jedi looked at one another. Coincidence? There was no coincidence with the Force.

Helena either didn't see or didn't care for the exchange of looks. "Your father took an expedition into the Tatooine desert and he died." Again, the tone was if ordering from a desserts menu.

Bastila shifted on her feet, defying what she heard. "How can you be sure of that? Father is an experienced hunter."

"You think I would look for you if I wasn't sure? They were attacked by a krayt dragon. One of the aids fled the battle! He saw your father killed."

Bastila looked away. "I see," she murmured. "What do you want form me? Credits?"

Helena rose form her chair staring at her daughter with the same gray eyes. "Don't be insulting! I want you to use those senses of yours. I want you to find him. I want you to bring back his holocron."

Bastila folded her arms over her chest in the same manner her mother had when they were first talking. "Why? So, you can sell it?" A barbed sneer.

"Is it too much to ask that I have something to remember your father by?" the woman didn't give her daughter a chance to answer the rhetorical question. "Of course, it is!" she waved her hand imperiously. "You couldn't be bothered."

Folded arms went to hands on hips. "We're on an important mission form the Jedi Council. I doubt we'll have the time. Ask my companions if you doubt me."

Both Juhani and Skye bore the same expression that said: don't get us involved.

Skye felt a nudge form Bastila through their bond. "Why don't you get the holocron yourself Mrs... Shan?"

"As my daughter is quick to point out I haven't the coin to hire another expedition. Nor am I the adventurer my husband was."

Ravensong had only herself to blame for being dragged into the domestic affair and this was Bastila's revenge. "You don't want to reclaim your father's remains, Bastila?"

Bastila's tone was deflated as she addressed her bondmate. "What remains would there be? You know as well as I krayt dragons are huge predators that can easily swallow a human whole."

'Yes, but we're going there anyway. There could be… sorry to be indelicate babe… ...bones. We have the time to look, Bastila. We'll make time. I'll make time for you."

"The desert is harsh and violent. Finding my father's remains would be an even more impossible task than finding his holocron. An ignoble end to a fine man."

Skye moved to Bastila reached out and touched her arm, almost fearful the younger woman would shirk it off. Helena was very quick to note the body language; to note how the Nagai wanted nothing more than to gather her daughter up in an embrace. She was also swift to note that Bastila wanted to fall into those arms.

"What about your mother's sickness?" Juhani uttered softly trying to cover the slip of intimacy.

"It doesn't appear to have anything to do with what she's asking." Bastila turned once more to the older Shan. "Are you actually sick mother?"

"What difference does it make to you? None, I'm sure! Just find your father's holocron and you won't have to worry about me again either way."

"That's the kind of response I would expect." Bastila was once more cold. "Very well, we'll look for the holocron if we find the time. I can't promise any more than that."

"I believe your father was headed north towards the Sand People enclave. I'd check around that route dear. Dooo please hurry."

Bastila glared at her mother, turned on her heels and stalked out of the cantina. What was she expecting? Her mother was always pushing her father to find more relics, more credits, never satisfied with what they had. Now… now the woman pushed him so far he died. The hate swelled in Bastila's heart. Her mother was greedy, selfish and cold. Everything that was her father's daughter, that was merely human, wanted to deny her mother, tell her to go to hell. The Jedi in her… chastised her for feeling this hate, her ghostly attachment to her father and his memory.

Skye turned to Juhani. "Can you give me a moment alone with her?"

The Cathar nodded, uttering softly, "Of course. Take the time you need, this must be very hard for her. Mother dying, father dead…" Juhani fell into herself. "I know what this pain is. Jedi or no, it is not something someone is ready to face. Go to her Skye. Be with her." The younger woman placed a tender hand upon the Nagai's arm. "I'll insure we have enough supplies for a desert trek."

"Thank you Juhani. You are a good friend."

The Cathar grinned and bowed a little as she departed for the markets. Skye sucked in a bit of air as she approached the troubled woman.

"Bastila?" Skye's voice drifted into her ears. The touch of her bondmate's hand upon her shoulder nearly made the proud woman crumble.

"Please… I know you think I should talk about it but I don't want to." Her voice was meek, hollow, and was but a whisper of the strength of what it normally was.

'Bass, you are not alone.'

'All she wants is that holocron… My father is dead and she just wants that.'

'Maybe it is just like she says. She wants something to remember him by. She hides behind a cold mask to hide her guilt. Maybe there are things you don't know. You don't have the full facts, only a child's vague memories. Maybe it is as you say, but what if there is another side?'

Bastila whirled around, facing her bondmate. "What would you know of it! You weren't there when my father was always asked to seek more, do more, for her. She was happy to be rid of me! My father didn't want to let me go, he told the master that came for me no. My mother... forced him to give me up!"

Skye kept her mouth shut allowing the younger woman to vent.

Bastila closed her eyes. For a moment, there was a stillness that was such that not even the hum of the city activities intruded upon the two. "Forgive me… the outburst is unbecoming of a Jedi. You must think I am resentful of the Order. Nothing is further from the truth. I am grateful to them for what I've become. I love being a Jedi…"

"It's just the way it happened." Skye finished. "I know the feeling."

Bastila looked to the blue eyes of the Nagai. "I…"

"Bas, look I'm not upset about becoming a Jedi. The way it happened… I know what it is to scramble after elusive facts. Trying to understand what you think is true, what you've been told and what you remember… it's enough to frack up anyone's mind." Skye snorted in self-defacing humor. "Take me… hum. Hell, I don't even know if I told your mother the truth in there. I know 'Skye's' mother is dead. But what about Revan's mother?" Skye froze, and snapped her mouth shut with a click of her teeth. "Oh, frack me."

Bastila gaped.

There was silence between them

Skye waited.

"You… you know." Bastila staggered backwards, her back hitting hard against a low adobe wall. "You know..." she sank to her knees. Skye went with her. The silence dragged on. "When?"

"The kinrath caves. When I caught the crystal for my lightsaber." Skye muttered softly as she took a seat in the sand leaning her back against the wall, sharing the space with the younger woman. "It was only flashes. Glimpses of memory. Recollection of things said from the Masters, you, hell even Onasi's words on Taris about how the Force can strip a person's memory make them forget who they are.

"The face of my mother… dead murdered by the Tof. I was only four when I saw her killed before me. My father taking her blood and her ashes and painting my face with it, in the ways of my people. Telling me to remember this day, telling me this is death. The pattern of blood and ash matched the markings of Revan's mask.

"In my vision, I felt my body—older now… a woman's body… walk up to a mirror, cracked and dirty. I meant to wash the blood and ash of my mother's body from my face but my hand touched metal instead of flesh. The metal of Revan's mask. And I knew who I was, who I am. I am Revan."

Bastila was mute, stunned into silence by the revelation.

Revan continued. "I wanted for you to tell me the truth. I gave you so many opportunities to tell me, hinting to you that I knew who I was. I wanted you to tell me the truth. I know why you resent being bonded to me."

When Bastila opened her mouth to speak the former Dark Lord held up her hand to stall her.

"You said it yourself, don't deny it now."

"Skye…"

'Don't you mean Revan?' the older woman nearly snapped.

'Revan…' Bastila looked pained. 'I never wanted to lie to you! I never agreed with what the Masters were doing. But I had to follow their orders."

"I want to hear it from you, Bastila. Why? I was the Dark Lord why not leave me to die?"

"The Jedi don't believe in executions. What I told you about me being on the strike team to take you in, and Malak firing on your ship was all true. But you were badly injured. We thought you were dead." Bastila closed her eyes. "Your mind was destroyed. But I used the Force to preserve that flicker of life I felt in your body. I brought you to the Jedi Council. They were the ones who healed your damaged mind."

"But they didn't restore it Bas, the merely reprogrammed it with a new identity, one loyal to them. To the Republic. Their slave!"

Heads turned looking at the sudden outburst coming from the two women huddled near the wall A cold glare form the former Dark Lord sent the dwellers scurrying about their own business.

"No not a Slave. We couldn't simply restore your true identity. Revan was too dangerous. But locked inside your mind was information the Republic needed. The secrets of the Star Forge. The Council created a new identity for you. A scout under my command. Your subconscious memories were supposed to lead me to the Star Forge. There was no other way to get the information."

Skye-Revan remained mute but her mind snarled. 'So, I was turned into their puppet and you my handler-pulling my strings. You were lying to me the whole time, Bastila.'

The younger woman winced, hating herself. "When I used my Force powers on that bridge it created our Bond. I convinced the Council I could use that Bond to draw out your memories to lead us to the Star Forge.

'Are you sure that was all it was? Didn't you want to taste the Dark Side for yourself? You knew the only way the Council would allow you to explore the Sith's power was through my lost memories.'

"NO!" Bastila emphatically denied the accusation. "I wanted to help you Revan! I thought this mission would redeem you. That it would atone for your past crimes. That…That it would bring back the woman I… I… loved once. How else could you be saved?" Bastila was now facing Revan looking deep into her eyes.

"But you didn't count on me recalling who I truly was, did you?"

Bastila dropped her gaze, looking to the sandy earth. "You… you had to be healed so I could draw out the secrets of the Star Forge. It was our only hope of stopping the Sith. It was a risk the Council chose to take."

"How unlucky for you, you got stuck bonded to a Dark Lord that doesn't remember being a Dark Lord or holding any of her secrets," the dark-maned Jedi voice was mockingly cold. "Tell me this one thing- and try to be truthful because apparently even through the Bond I can't tell if you are lying or not. You're very good."

Bastila winced, hating herself.

"My angel… the one that saved my life and pulled me from a crashed fighter. That wasn't true, was it? The scars on my back, the voice… your voice- that all happened on the bridge of my ship, didn't it?"

When Bastila didn't' say anything, the former Dark Lord grew furious. "WAS IT?!"

"NO!" Bastila shouted back. "It isn't true. None of that was."

"Was it your idea, or theirs, to toy with me like that?"

"It wasn't mine." Bastila said meekly. "I never even knew about it until you spoke to Kang's slaves about it."

"Then why? Why that memory? To make me more susceptible to you? To your manipulations?"

"I don't know. Maybe? Your subconscious would have flashbacks to the explosion, to being hurt; much like a coma patient's mind can recall things but without context, can hear. The Masters gave your mind a new direction.

"Revan please believe me, I had no idea how much the Masters put into your mind," she winced. "It… it was the reason I kept asking those personal questions of you. Yes, I could have easily looked in your file but I needed to know what you recalled. Revan…even now when you admitted seeing your mother murdered by the Tof…"

The Nagai when stiff. "So even that is a lie. Tell me, do you know if I even have a mother that lives? A father?"

"I… I don't know. Your records were redacted. I can tell you what I recall from our time as Padawans on Coruscant. I know that you came to the Order very young. Younger than I. Three maybe two."

"Is that when we met?"

"No. It wasn't until much much latter, I was just becoming a Padawan and you were already one. Had been for a few years. Revan…"

The former Dark Lord shook her head. "Not now. We dallied long enough and there are things we have to do. This is definitely not the way I wanted this to go, but like Mission said: like bullets, you can't take words back once fired. It's done now.

"I think it's best that I remain Skye Ravensong to the rest the crew for now. Onasi is a paranoid shit as it is, and Mission… she, Big Z and Juhani can be reassured I'll not become a Dread Lord of the Dark Side, but I need to bide my time. As far as the old Mandi is concerned… who knows? He follows me because of a Blood Oath, but Mandalorians have a massive grudge against Revan more than any other Jedi. His loyalty is tenuous at best. And I don't want the Council to know." The former Dark Lord looked to Bastila. "Please, say nothing to them." She walked away saying nothing more.

Bastila remained rooted where she sat watching in that same silence as Revan disappeared into the droid shop across the thoroughfare.