Chapter 32
The temperatures dropped significantly from day to night on the desert planet. It was refreshing to breathe in the air and not have it feel as it were searing your lungs. It was still warm but at least now it was more bearable to those not born to the desert.
The crew was breaking up for the night taking advantage of the downtime window. Already the males disbanded into Anchorhead after cashing in the wraid plates at the Hunter's lodge and the gaffii sticks form the fallen raiding parties. With Mission tucked away on the bunk, the others were free to go or stay onboard the ship as they pleased.
While Bastila was distracted, Juhani pulled Skye aside so she might have a few words with her without being overheard by any of the others. "I think the two of you need to speak. She was hurried when she believed your life to be in danger, as your friends Mission and I also worried for you. But she was frantic. Taking what I would say... is… the 'bad cop' method when dealing with the Czerka rep. When we rode back, her dewback was beyond exhaustion, and her reactions in the camp..."
"Yeah I felt it. I know, it's just we haven't had time to talk about more private matters."
"You have it now, Skye." The Cathar looked where Bastila was coming from the starboard dorms which the women had taken over. She has shed the Jal Shey mentor armor she was previously wearing for the more simple robes of the same Discipline. Even Skye had shed her Zeison Sha warrior armor for her own robes as Juhani wore the browns of those who had not chosen to follow a particular faction of the Jedi trainings.
"I'll take watch over Mission. Make sure she makes a solid recovery."
"You sure?"
Juhani smiled. "You are not the only one wishing for a bit of private time." If she was blushing under the fur it was difficult to tell. "It will give me time to talk with Belaya."
The Nagai grinned. "I see."
"The Masters would never approve or understand of what I have with..."
"The woman you love." Skye finished.
"Yes." Juhani put a hand on the older woman's shoulder. "Be mindful Skye. What you have with Bastila- treasure it. But keep it hidden," she looked down. "What was forced between Belaya and I nearly led me to my falling," her voice grew soft. "If I hadn't returned from the Grove I know my love would have forsaken the Order, she may have even joined the Sith. She would have felt betrayed by the Jedi.
"When I did return, I had to talk her into remaining with the Order, her faith and trust in the Masters has been terribly shaken."
Skye/Revan could relate completely. She loved being a Jedi, the discipline, what it meant to be a Jedi; she did not however trust the Council. Were they not supposed to be superior to the machinations that were so commonplace with in the Sith hierarchy.
Skye placed a hand upon the Cathar's. "We'll be mindful and thanks Juhani, you're a good friend."
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Carth elected to spend some time in the cantina playing hands of pazzak. He had no desire to stay on the ship babysitting a drunken passed-out fourteen year old. He left such things to the Cathar Jedi and the Wookiee. He could give a wamprat's ass what the Mandie did, or how the knife ear and her princess decided to spend the night. If a fracking kid could be drunk than why the hell couldn't he?
It wasn't like he was going to on the mission was it? He'd be left behind or sent on a menial task as he and the other men had earlier that day. Hunting giant lizards and Raiders- that wasn't a task for an officer in the Republic Military, it was work for the likes of a Mandie or the Wookiee. He was being under used and he knew why. He hadn't joined the cult of Ravensong like the others. Both Juhani and Bastila were Knights but they answered to the Nagai. The teenager obeyed her without hesitation and even the Mandie heeded her every word. What was it about her that drew others to her? How was she had them all under her spell?
She was charismatic, powerful, intriguing. He didn't trust it. Neither did a few of the Masters: or at least one he knew of didn't: Master Vrook.
Anyone that powerful, that charismatic couldn't be trusted, but given the Trial of Blade Wronged he knew now to keep his thoughts to himself. He did his best to keep his habit of speaking with his hands to a minimum. He couldn't afford to alienate himself from the rest of the crew as he nearly had on Dantooine. He'd continue to watch her, waiting if she slipped to the Dark Side like her knife-eared sister- that bitch Revan- he'd be there to pull the trigger and end her before her reign of terror began.
His mind was so wrapped in the downward spiral of thoughts he barely noticed Zaalbar brushed past him until he big wookiee jostled him.
"Hey! Watch it you big walking carpet!" he scolded the young male who was heading for a line of adobes paying Carth no mind.
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Zaalbar had a more constructive way to spend the evening. With Mission in the careful custody of Knight Juhani the young Wookiee stepped out into the night intent to make things right for the person he cared most about in the universe.
Wookiees were never known to keep their anger in check; not even those that possessed the Force and became Jedi. Like the mighty and proud Cathar they were prone to high emotions-to be carried by their passions. Zaalbar was of no exception.
Might makes right.
Griff satisfied for the deal he was able finagle with Greeda slipped out of Czerka office. He even managed to get an advance on the deal. Well a tiny one. Fifty credits. Time to celebrate. Besides he had earned it. All that time locked up as one of the sandpeople's slaves, forced to actually work! Preposterous! Uncivilized! Barbaric! Then where was and then whole mess with Mission. What a mess that was. If she'd only underSTAND!
A furry paw grabbed him by the neck. Panic flared blaringly in his chest, and he felt his bowls loosen. His back was slammed against the clay wall of an adobe near a darkened ally. "I don't have any credits! Don't kill me! OH spirits don't eat ME!" he screamed.
"You are meat to be wasted!" Zaalbar snarled. "You live only because killing you will harm my little sister! No harm comes to my sister!"
"I... I swear to you wookiee I never hurt a she-wook..." Griff pleaded.
"MISSION IS MY SISTER! YOU HURT HER!" The growl rang throughout all of Anchorhead.
"Ma...ma...ma...Mission.?"
"Yes!"
"But she's my sister!"
"By blood only tail-head." Zaalbar's grip tightened around Griff's throat all but strangling him. "For Mission and Mission alone will you live," he snarled. "I know what it is to trust, to love a brother only to have him betray you! To stain all you are, all you believed in. Blood is only blood: Mission is all to me. Hurt her again and I will forget she is blood to you! I WILL become a mad-claw in truth. I will upon my oath kill you. Mission deserves more than you."
Zaalbar let his captive fall to the sandy earth. All that could be said had been said. The young Wookiee turned his back on the piss-stained male Twi'lek to the Ebon Hawke.
"What… what do you want me to do?" Griff said from his place in the dirt.
"Make it RIGHT or I will rip your heart out through your back molars!" Zaalbar roared. Darkness descended upon the young Wookiee's soul as he returned back to the Ebon Hawk. Zaalbar would not let blood destroy what was true.
A roar hit the night but it was of little concern to a Mandalorian who passed the ally where the fur-ball was by all appearances mugging a tail-head. Having lived on Taris for so long after the war you ignored petty crap like that. As long as it didn't interfere with what he was doing he didn't give it a second thought.
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Canderous took his share or a portion of it to one of the more hidden away brothels he had heard about from the Czerka miners that frequented the establishment. If there was one thing he missed about Kang's joint it was free access the pleasure slaves quarters at any time he wanted it. Now if he wanted to get laid he was going have to pay for it, there was no way he was going to get any action on the Hawke even if he found any of the adult women on the ship attractive.
On the way to brothel the ageing Mandalorian spotted something that took him by surprise: the sight of the Whelp and her Princess slipping past him in the dark to one of the smaller ale houses known to have rooms for rent. Sooo... Jedi are not so celibate after all. Or at least these two weren't. Good. He couldn't fully trust someone who refused proper indulgences like sex, drinking and the fighting ring- not always in that order.
Smirking to himself Canderous wandered into the Anchorhead's red light district ready to spend his easily made credits and left all thoughts of the sneaking Jedi to themselves.
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"I think it's time we talk about what's going on between us. Juhani said you practically rode your beast to death to get back to me after you strong armed at Czerka exec to give you the vaporators. I felt your fear when... you didn't see me in the camp."
"Must you make me admit it? Is it not enough you can feel it?" Bastila muttered quietly as they passed through the alleyways. She drew in a breath only to let it out in a long suffering sigh. There was no point in wallowing in the quagmire of denial. Revan had been very patient but she deserved answers. Perhaps they both did.
"With all my training I should be able to control myself better then this. But... you're not like anything I ever expected. This situation I never expected... for you to remember... Everything is so different now. You're not..."
"The Revan you knew before the fall." The Nagai supplied.
"No. You're not, and yet there is an essence of who you were still there." Bastila looked into the deep blue eyes. "I find myself watching you when I don't mean to. Thinking about you when I don't want to. It wasn't supposed to be like this!"
"I don't think the Masters expected me to remember who I was anymore than you did." Revan said.
"No. They didn't." Bastila agreed. "Revan... I know you're angry, frustrated- you're in as much turmoil as I am. You don't remember your earlier training, not as Revan, and you've had too little of it as Skye. And I... every time I try to call on it, it fails me. You have such power, such passion," the words were spoken with awe and desire. "I don't know if it's because of our past... a past you don't ever remember, or the bond between us, but I feel drawn to you."
"I want to believe that Bas. But is it me or my ability to use the Force?" Revan watched the other woman.
"The Force is a part of you, a part of your power. But that is not what attracted me to you. And yes... part it is our past, of what we had. But it's more than that. Revan so much more. Maybe it is the bond we share... it gives us a certain intimacy."
"And if you could, would you run away to Dantooine? To be away from this bond of ours. To weaken it, to be anywhere but near me?"
"No. No. Now that you know who you are, no. Malak needs to be stopped. My own feelings are nothing compared to that. Yet I know this could affect the sake of our mission if this is not resolved. I cannot let that happen!"
"You make it sound more dire than it needs to be Bastila. I am Revan and I am not," she touched the other woman's face tenderly. Drawing her in, close enough for a kiss yet she did not do so. "Give into your feelings Bastila. I can feel it. I know you want to."
The human pulled away from the older woman, "Not here. We need more privacy." Bastila's soft voice was a whisper. "I don't fancy talking about this in a public venue."
The Nagai nodded her consent, the darkened alleys was no place to discus deeply private matters. She led the way to one of the more conservative of Anchorhead's ale houses which was also a bunk house. She bargained for a room from an old human woman who was the proprietress. The old crone could have been in her eighties or perhaps it is only the desert winds that weathered her face so. Most of her teeth were gone due to a combination of old age and poor dental care. Despite her decrepit appearance she ran a clean establishment. The room was one of five and in the farthest corner of the attic.
It was there in the dimness of their new quarters Bastila that seemed to find her courage once more. "You're stronger than I am. And there is no point in telling me otherwise. Remembered past or not you will be a great Jedi, I think-I hope." Bastila wandered to the small window that looked out over the city to the small homes of miners and villagers. "In some ways Revan you make me feel weak, like I'm caught up in the wake of destiny. At the same time you make me feel stronger, more alive."
Revan placed both hands upon Bastila's hips; she did not protest the contact. In fact she leaned into it the embrace, her back pressed against Revan's front. "There are more to these feelings then our past. They are part of the bond we share."
"Yes they are." Revan said. "As are mine for you. Bastila don't turn from this."
The human pushed away from the arms that held her and paced the room. "The Jedi Council realized this, even if they had no knowledge of you regaining a portion of your identity. They knew my loyalties to the doctrine of our teachings would be tested on this mission." She shuddered. "By facing and overcoming my feelings for you I have learned a valuable lesson about control and emotions. This is an important step in understanding the Force."
"No you don't, Bas. You're not going to rationalize this away. You're just afraid to face the truth!"
Bastila whirled around on her. "You're the one that can't face the truth! Malak must be stopped. How can I do that if I am blinded by my feelings for you?"
"Truth? And just what is the truth? The Jedi's truth about me being Skye Ravensong ever the loyalist scout for the Republic? Or me being the Revanchist and Jedi Knight, slayer of Mandalor. The truth about Darth Revan killed by Bastila Shan Jedi Sentinel. Tell me Princess, what is the truth?"
"I...I..."
"The truth Bastila, is very simple. The Force wants us together. It created our bond. Our hearts want us to be together. As for ole' Tin Jaw, we'll take him down together—side by side."
"You... you mean it don't you?"
"Of course I do."
"But how can you know this isn't a mistake that... this...I don't...I can't..."
Revan stepped up to her, took her face into her hands once more. "Yes you can. Yes you do know. I love you Bastila and I know you love me. To deny what we feel is to deny our bond, to deny the will of the Force. The Masters tell us not to form attachments, but the Force has other ideas—why else do Force Bonds even exist if we are not to form attachments?"
"Alright! Alright, you've made your point." Bastila relented with a coy smile. "Now shut up and kiss me you fool."
Revan grinned, leaned in and took soft ruby lips with her own: Bastila melted into the touch; by reflex she deepened their kiss eliciting a moan of pleasure from her lover. Revan took hold of the hem of Bastila's outer robes and slipped them off her shoulders to pool at their feet. Her own robes were swiftly shirked off with a forceful shrug of her shoulders; boots, belts were shed. It wasn't long before all but their small cloths were on the floor.
Revan's exploring hands slipped under the satin garments to the firmness of Bastila's backside as she drew her closer, pressing lightly against her. Her fingernails gently raked the human from where the swell and curve of her buttocks began up to the sensitive area at the small of her back. Her flesh was warm and soft—responsive. Bastila trembled, letting out a pleasurable purr as she felt Revan trace the eternity symbol over the most sensitive areas of her flesh.
Possessively she pulled the weight of Revan against her towards the bed until the backs of her knees bumped up against its foot. She fell backwards onto the mattress bringing Skye with her so that she lay nearly on top of her. Their lips parting only for air as Revan trailed kisses down along her lover's neck to her clavicle. Her free hand moved between them unfasten the clasp of the bra that covered the swell of Bastila's beautiful breasts.
By the Night Mother, they were glorious, Revan licked her lips, she wanted to kiss them, bite them, lick them, squeeze them. She gave in to her desires, and she smiled as she felt her lover's breath hitch in her lungs. Her wolfish smile broadened when she felt deft fingers make short work of her own bra.
"Someone is excite...oh!" Revan jerked when Bastila's fingers brushed against her sex through the satin panties, then slowly push aside the cloth and grazed it. Another movement and the undergarments were gone.
"Yes someone is." Bastila nipped at Revan's neck, trailing up to her earlobe to lick the tip of her pointed ear. She knew just how sensitive Nagai ears were. Past experiences gave her the knowledge, instinct and the bond guided her further.
Revan's teasing ministrations worked their own magic; she felt warm slickness at her lover's inner depths. Bastila grunted, her head arched back, her mouth opened when Revan thrust into her. She could feel Bastila's growing arousal; her ripeness spurred the Nagai on. Her lips nipped and suckled Bastila's hardened nipples, driving her fingers harder and faster into the honeyed-silken warmth.
Revan shifted the angle of her wrist intensifying the pressure and depth of her fingers as she thrust again. She felt her lover clench around her digits, she slid out slowly and pushed again, her mind thrust in and around wanting to deepen the contact between them.
Bastila followed, bond and body surging forth filling her lover. Her fingers curled within the silken folds. Her walls contracted tightly intoxicating her. She pulled out this time spreading her fingers as she did making Revan moan out loudly. Her body convulsed in pleasure.
Vibrant wills whirl-pooled around each other through their bond as physically as their bodies entwined. Their rhythm and force increased as fingers slid in and out of wet heat. Thoughts and desire jumbled kaleidoscopically- surging deeper, swelling deeper, throbbing and stroking, aching, pulsing.
Moaning, grunting, whimpering 'yes!' again and again. The Jedi overwhelmed each other with sensations so intense they could no longer control their bodies. The moans inflamed each other. Both needed to hear, wanted to hear all the sounds they could create in their lover in the throws of passion. Fingers thrust, and thrust and thrust inside each other. Revan grunted, whimpered, deeper, deeper, deep, deep pushing, thrusting, stretching, pressing, pulsing, surging. Riding dizzying sweet sensations. Harder, harder, closer and closer to the edge.
Bastila bucked, her free hand tore at the sheet beneath her. She threw her head back, shoulder blades arched. Her mouth opened. She couldn't... she couldn't... she was... she was... they were... they were... "Uah...ah...I am...ah...oh...ooh..."
"YES!" Revan moaned, frenzied, her hips slamming Bastila's as fingers pumped inside her. She thrust deeper, harder, faster and faster now riding the crest of the waves into whirling glorious heights.
Each sensation magnified a dozen times over by their connection, the Force pulsed outward. The glasses tipped, water splashed on to the floor, the water pitcher toppled, ice cubes within fell like hail stones, garments whisped like dying leaves falling from a tree to the floor as they edged closer and closer.
Their bodies, minds, hearts belonged to each other. Their bodies were on fire. Their bodies going ridged. Their minds whirled in the ebb and flow of raw power—the Force unleashed. Pleasure burst brightly from the center of the bodies to the crown of their heads to their curled toes.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" their mutual release- long and loud- did not stop until several minutes later. Their minds whirled in the ebbs and tides of erratic buzzing emotions. Their bodies tingled, their sweat cooling in the desert night. They stayed entwined-coiled boneless-ly around each other. Before they fully succumbed to sleep, passions flamed again and again.
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Bastila was already awake staring out of the room's eastern window at the purple pre dawn sky when Revan, still naked, padded up to her, encircling her waist (she sported new bruises of her own, which matched the scratches on her back and the bite marks on her shoulders and neck) as she placed a kiss on a love-marked neck. She breathed in their mixed sent of sweat, the essence of their lovemaking and the tang of dust from the desert. It was something easily remedied although if they wanted to speed their way the showers would need to be taken separately. Water was worth far more than gold on Tatooine which was why all hostels, ale houses and other boarding houses were equipped with sonic showers. Yet for the moment, Revan was content with holding the woman she loved in her arms.
"We have a long day a head of us," she whispered into the shell like ear, kissing her on the neck.
Bastila stiffened. "We..." she closed her eyes, her mind and desires duelling as fiercely as Jedi and Sith.
"No. You don't say we shouldn't have done what we did. Not after you pounced on me. Kriffing hell, Bas, you bit me over my heart and said I was yours and you were mine."
"I know. And I wasn't going to say we shouldn't have done that," she turned in the arms that held her.
"Our love terrifies you." Revan realized.
"It shouldn't but yes it does. I feel you stronger than I have before. Revan... I don't know what this means anymore. I feel lost, a drift in the stars without a navcomputer. And I don't like it!"
"We ride the tides."
"How can you be so frivolous... so casual about this?" her voice was shallow holding none of her normal strength.
"Because the Masters have it half-way right, fear can lead to hatred and hatred to the Dark Side. But love? Love isn't dark Bastila. It's the farthest thing from it. Don't be fearful of what we have, what we share, embrace it."
Bastila leaned her forehead against her lover chest. "I don't think I know how, Revan."
"Then trust the Force. It bound us together body, soul and heart. Jedi Code aside, whatever mandates we swore to follow; I follow first the will of the Force. Trust in it always."
"You sound like your old self."
Revan smiled, "You mean not the neophyte Skye Ravensong, Jedi Padawan."
Bastila lifted her head, only now her eyes daring to look upon the woman she loved. "Yes. I mean my Jedi Knight... the night before she went to war, before she was lost to me," she signed, placed a deep loving kiss upon the still swollen lips of her beloved. When she pulled away and it was if a durasteel curtain fell between them. "I... I need time to sort this all out, Revan. If you love me as I love you you'll give me that... time."
Revan opened her mouth but Bastila placed long a long fingered hand upon her lips.
"Please, My Love..."
It wasn't a rejection.
It wasn't acceptance.
It was what it was.
"I love you Bastila Shan as you love me. If time is what you need then take it. I'll be here." The Nagai leaned in and soundly kissed the woman she held dearest to her heart. "I will always be here," her right hand was placed over Bastila's chest against her thudding heart as her left stroked the human's cheek. Her last kiss was tender and chaste. "As you are here," she took the human's hand and placed it over her own heart -the opposite side that a human's rested.