Chapter 21: Journal: Someone Else
June 2nd 2006
I met someone.
Jacob and I went to a party last night out at first beach. I probably had too much to drink, but I had fun (I usually do with Jake) but last night was different.
His name is Damon. He's not anything like you or Jacob in that special way that you two are, not that I'm aware of anyway … and Jake said he didn't stink, so that has to be a something? Right?
But, more importantly, he's nothing like you.
I knew instantly that he wouldn't remind me of you in anyway, he was forward and brash, unapologetic, – almost to the point of being rude... and, I liked it. I felt new around him, and for whatever reason he wanted to spend time with me, so I let him.
He has a bike; which you know I have a soft spot for ever since Jake and I fixed up those two a couple of years ago. It was stupid and dangerous, but he offered me a ride and I accepted.
Jacob and his girlfriend Liz were too preoccupied to notice, otherwise I would have never been able to get away with something so reckless, but I did, and it was exhilarating.
He took me around on the old back roads where we eventually ended up at the top of a cliff looking over the water.
He kissed me.
He didn't ask, he didn't take it slow and he didn't hesitate. He walked up to me, wrapped his arm around my waist, held the back of my head and kissed me, long, deep and hard.
He said he liked me. Just like that, no romantic twist, no games.
I like you.
He said to me as he continued to hold me firmly against him, and then before I could answer or reply with anything, he kissed me again, and then told me we were leaving and got back on his bike.
It was, sexy. The way he just took control of me and the situation, and it was exciting.
I can't wait to see him again.
10 Years Ago...
"Oh, teens today and their underage drinking. Tragic." The guy next to me stated, startling me by leaning down while speaking into my ear.
"Excuse me?" I asked him, turning around and taking a step back from his close proximity.
"I'm Damon" He said sticking out his hand "and you are Bella Swan."
"I am." I confirmed to him skeptically, bringing my hand up to meet his.
"A pleasure." He said with a glint in his eye as he took my hand in his, curling my fingers around his own while bringing my hand up to his lips; placing a light kiss against my knuckles.
He smiled at me as he let my hand go, walking past me towards the beach he asked "Are you here with anyone?" he spoke to me while looking out at the water.
"Yes." I told him, beginning to feel mildly defensive about his attitude.
"Other than your friend Jacob and his girlfriend Lizzie." He turned toward me with a squint and a smirk.
"How did you..." I trailed off, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of catching me off guard. Straightening my shoulders, I said to him "I know a lot of people here. Most of them actually."
"Of course, you do." He turned fully toward me with a smile. "But, you're not here with any -one of them, are you?" He stated rather than questioned.
"Come on, let me get you another drink." He told me; wrapping his arm around my shoulders, without allowing me to answer, reply or accept his offer.
"You're kind a demanding for someone I don't even know." I told him as I stumbled my way over the rocks.
"Yeah." He said, humored and unaffected by my statement.
Damon ushered me over to the beer coolers keeping his hand on my back as he gently guided us to our destination. Once there he went over to one of the coolers and reached in, grabbing out a beer and cracking it open before handing it to me.
Once the beer was in my hand, he went over to another cooler and pulled out a bottle of water.
"Thanks." I said to him, but it sounded more like a question.
"You're welcome." He said back to me, coming over to cheers me with his bottle.
"You're not drinking?"
"Nope."
"Why not?" I asked a little miffed.
He chuckled at me before answering "I'm not some drunk sorority chick Bella." He said giving me a wink. "You can't roofie me."
"What?" The word came out a little breathy from my confusion.
He laughed at me and my obvious fluster before telling me "I don't drink and drive B."
He shoved off the car he had been leaning on and started walking down the row of vehicles. "Or ride as it where tonight." He said, pointing at a black and silver bike.
"Is that yours?" I asked, instantly more excited about my new friend.
I walked over to the bike and began running my hand over the metal frame and leather seats. Damon followed, watching me as I circled and inspected the motorcycle. I thought of mine and Jacobs bikes that were locked up in his dads' garage under a tarp. We used to have so much fun riding those old things, even though we haven't done it in quite a while. Thinking back on it made me smile.
"Do you want to go for a ride?"
I looked up at him without answering, and then began searching the grounds around us, looking to see if Jacob was in sight.
"They don't have to know." He told me conspiratorially, walking around me and gently brushing up against me as he took the helmet off the back of the bike. "We'll be gone and back before anyone has time to notice that you were gone."
"O.K." I agreed, totally convinced by him. I don't know if it was the beer or Damon himself, but I felt comfortable enough with him to get on the back of his bike without a second thought.
I hurriedly finished what was left of my beer and shoved the helmet on my head.
Damon didn't wait for me to do either; he climbed on the motorcycle and kick started the engine before the helmet was fully pressed on my head. My hands were a little shaky as I climbed on behind him and gingerly wrapped my arms around his torso.
Suddenly he let go of the handle bars and grabbed both of my hands. "I won't let you fall Bella, but you have to hold on." He said to me fervently while tightening my hold around him.
…
We rode around for a while before finally coming to the top of a wide, open cliff with a great view of the ocean. There was a soft warm breeze as we looked out on to the moon sheathed water, the gentle rhythmic waves crashing bellow as the only sound in the night.
I turned toward him to thank him for bringing me here when the look on his face stopped me from speaking. Damon took the few shorts steps between us, effectively putting our bodies tightly against each other. He wrapped one arm strongly around the back of my waist, while bringing the other up around my shoulder to grasp the back of my head as he brought his mouth against mine.
The kiss was so intense I melted into it, letting his need and my own take over my body and my reactions. I wrapped both my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer into him, my body tingling from head to toe from its intensity.
Damon's kiss was strong and passionate, taking everything, he wanted but giving me more in return – I didn't want it to end.
June 10th 2006
I'm seeing Damon again tonight. I haven't seen him since that first night at the beach. We've only talked once on the phone, so I'm a little nervous but still excited.
It's so stupid that I feel like I'm cheating on you, in just a few short months you'll have been gone for two years.
I should get over you right? I mean, you've moved on, so what's my problem?
I'm really going to try with Damon, he's so different from you that it might be possible.
All of the other dates I've been on have been a disaster. They either try to hard or say something too soon that reminds me of you. It might have been too soon for me anyway.
I'm really excited about the possibility that, for even just awhile, with Damon, I'll be able to focus on someone other than you.
Even if it only lasts, for just a little while.
10 years ago...
*Knock. Knock. Knock.*
"Jake will you get that please!" I hollered from the bathroom. I was finishing combing through my hair when the door knocked, I figured it would be Damon coming to pick me up.
"Hey." Jake said opening the door.
"Hey yourself."
"You're here early." Jake said to him, being Jake. I had to roll my eyes, was he seriously trying doing the whole 'man of the house' thing again! "What's up."
"I've come to eat cotton candy and steal your girl." Damon told him coming into the apartment.
"hmm. Good luck with that." Jake replied to him with humor in his voice as he closed the door.
"I don't need luck. I'm me." Damon replied with a smirk.
"Cocky much?" I asked walking into the room to stand in between the two of them.
"Very much." Damon replied scandalously.
Jacob looked at me as he gaffed in response, while I turned red as a tomato. Wow.
"T.M.I. Dude." Jacob said to him, and then was serious "And Bella here is a lady. All joking aside, I expect you to treat her as such."
"Jacob!" I chided him, but it didn't matter, him and Damon were having their own conversation.
"Of course." Damon told him seriously.
"I'm glad we agree." Jake said to him stoically, and then stuck his hand out.
They both shook hands as if they had just made some sort of deal or transaction, while I watched, feeling a little put-out, embarrassed and annoyed.
"You know Jacob." Damon said once they let each other's hand go, "I look at you and I see myself."
"Really?" Jake asked him sarcastically with a smirk.
"A less dashing, less intelligent version." Damon returned the smirk.
Jacob just chuckled at him before coming over to kiss the top of my head. "Have fun tonight Bells." He said and then turned for the door, "And take care of my girl." He told Damon before leaving the apartment.
I turned to look at Damon; once Jake had closed the door, to ask him what that was all about but didn't get the chance.
"Protective of you, isn't he?" Damon questioned me, and then just like the first time we met, he didn't let me finish, he walked up to me and pulled me in for a kiss. 'God, that's hot' I thought as I pulled him closer.
June 16th 2006
I'm having a really great month. I just wanted you to know.
June 20th 2006
Happy Birthday.
June 30th 2006
Well, it's been a month and Damon and I are still seeing each other. My little apartment is full. Jake has always been a permanent fixture around here, only going home once or twice a week, and since he stays here Liz usually stays with him a couple of nights, and as of lately Damon's been staying over too. It's kind of nice, I always liked being alone, it never really bothered me, but I didn't realize that I would enjoy having a house full of people either.
Keeps me busy and my mind off of you that's for sure. The apartment is too small to really hide anywhere, not that I want to, but if I did it wouldn't last for long.
Damon is taking me to Seattle for the weekend, he won't tell me what we are doing but I'm hoping it has something to do with Death Cab for Cutie, I'm so excited!
I really think you would have liked Damon. I know Emmett would have; they have that whole sports thing in common.
For right now, I'm having fun with this. I'm just letting myself go … and on the nights that I'm alone, I try not to think of you, so that I can continue to enjoy right now.
10 years ago...
Damon and I have been in Seattle for a whole day and he still won't tell me what we are doing. He took me out to dinner last night to The Waterfront Seafood Grill. It's right on the pier looking out at Puget Sound. It was amazing, and the food was good too.
We did all the touristy things, we went to the Aquarium and Pike's Place, we walked around downtown and finally went to the Space Needle to look out at the city. It was a really great night, ending at the hotel.
We were just finishing lunch at Denny Park when he stood, pulling me up with him.
"Are we finally going?" I asked him excitedly.
"Almost." He said mischievously. He then took a bandana from his back pocket and walked around me.
"Hold still." He told me, and then started to cover my eyes with the cloth.
"What are you doing?"
He didn't answer me immediately, he finished tying the blindfold and then said "Now we are going."
"Damon...I can't go anywhere like this, I can't see!"
"I'll lead you; don't you trust me?"
"Yes, but..."
"Come Bella." He said ignoring me, he wrapped his arm around my back and placed his other hand on my shoulder that was next to him, sort of steering me.
He led me over to his bike, where he helped me get on.
"This is kidnapping." I huffed.
"That's a little melodramatic, don't you think?"
I didn't reply, I just held on a little tighter. We rode around for what felt like hours, but was probably only about fifteen minutes.
When we finally stopped, I could hear people around me; a lot of people.
"Where are we?" I asked, – again not receiving a response, instead he just took up the same position and began leading me further into the sound.
We stopped once and one of his hands left my body, and then he was gently pushing me through something that made a clicking sound.
Not long after that and bumping into a ton of people along the way, he finally stopped and whispered in my ear.
"We're here." And then he took off my blind fold.
July 5th 2006
It was Death Cab for Cutie, and it was awesome! I had so much fun, … I really have fun with him, he's great. The whole weekend with him was amazing.
I feel bad for saying that to you, but he really is. I can't describe him, but he's great.
I really like this guy.
July 18th 2006
I'm not going to feel guilty about being with him anymore. I'm happy and I want to enjoy it. You left me. Not the other way around.
July 29th 2006
Damon surprised me again today. You know how I hate surprises, but this wasn't bad, not that last time was bad, it wasn't at all. I guess he's figured me out a little more. There wasn't anyone around, no embarrassing group gatherings, blindfolds or anything, just him and me.
He cooked me dinner. It was awful.
But truly one of the sweetest things, and with a little red it was one of the best nights I've spent in my apartment.
10 Years ago...
"Bell!" Damon bellowed as he came through the door, I had just gotten out of the shower so I quickly wrapped a towel around myself before stepping out the door.
"Yeah?"
"I have a surprise..." He was saying and then stopped once he saw me.
I blushed; rethinking my attire as I made myself known, but ignored both our reactions and decided to tease him instead. "A surprise Damon? You know I don't really like surprises." I said to him and then pulled my hair over to one side, trying to shield myself with it.
"But I do." He said cocking up one of his eyebrows.
We looked at each other for a few tense moments before he told me "Get dressed and come out when you're ready." And with that he turned away and began shuffling whatever is was that he brought with him.
I hurried back into the bathroom to dry off, get dressed and comb through my hair, once I was finished, I went back out to where he had been making a lot of noise and sporadically cussing.
"What are you doing?" I asked with a laugh as I walked into my kitchen. He had what seemed like every pan and dish I owned scattered all over the kitchen, with bags of groceries mixed in.
"I'm making you dinner." He told me without turning around.
"Is that what you call this?" I teased him.
With that he finally turned around to smile at me, coming over to sneak in a kiss.
"Cute pj's" He said appraising me.
Two hours later Damon had managed to put together what looked like red sauce and noodle blob, but was supposed to be chicken parmesan.
He wouldn't let me help him with dinner, no matter how many times I tried or asked. In the end we had a batch of both over cooked and under cooked noodles, burnt chicken and watery spaghetti sauce with chunks.
"This is garbage." he told me when it was all done.
"Let me try it. You went through all this trouble; I at least get to try it." I didn't want to, but he looked kind of pitiful right at the moment.
He looked at me skeptically and then shook his head. I rolled my eyes at him and gently pushed him out of my way to grab a plate and put some of 'it' on.
He copied me and we both sat down across from each other at the small table in the next room. It was like a standoff, the way we both looked at each other, daring the other with our eyes to try it first.
"Come on," I said to him "it can't be that bad." I faked nonchalance.
Looking down at my plate I couldn't decide where I didn't want to begin, so I just picked the middle, stuck my fork in and cut through what was there - actually I sawed through what was there, but that's not the point.
When I had a bite sized amount cut up I stuck my fork in it and popped it into my mouth.
The flavor on contact wasn't bad, but once I swiped it over to the side of my mouth to chew I was treated to the full effect, and as I crunched down on whatever it was that I had stuck in my mouth I smiled at him through the rough biting.
"How is it?" He asked warily.
"mmm." Was my genius reply while nodding and continuing to chew.
With that he took his fork and cut through his pile and put a huge bite in his mouth, chewed twice and spit it out.
"BLAH! That's disgusting!" He said wiping his mouth and grabbing for his glass of wine. "Bella spit it out!" he ordered and then took a long pull off his glass.
I couldn't help the laugh that finally bubbled over and out through the food that was in my mouth, I managed to choke down the bite that I had before reaching for my own glass to swish my mouth with.
Damon didn't hesitate to grab both our plates and toss the food in the garbage. When he had everything thrown away, he tied up the bag and stomped out of the house to throw it in the dump.
When he came back in, I handed him his refilled glass of wine and turned to look at the mess in the kitchen. The laughter that followed from both of us set the mood for the rest of the evening.
July 30th 2006
It was one of the greatest nights, but an even better morning...and afternoon.
I won't be writing for a while. After last night I realized I've been splitting my focus with Damon.
I can't think about you while being with him. That's not fair to him, and I want it to be.
I'm with someone else, and you can't be here.
(4/19/11)