Ow...

Pain came back to me first. It was dull, but annoyingly reached through every muscle, making a terrible chorus of pain go through me. It was uncoordinated, like cats thrown on a stage with water everywhere… or something.

My head felt fuzzy, like it was filled with cobwebs. I absently moved a hand to my forehead, arm feeling like jelly yet numb, and rubbed at a quickly growing headache.

What had happened...?

Think.

Hydra? Something to do with Hydra. They... they hadn't gotten me again, had they? The ground felt hard, like pavement, but it wasn't cold in that distant way a cold metal table would be. Maybe not?

Wait, there had been clones of me. The clones! The teleporter! How was I still alive? Why did a teleporter exploding not make me die? Well, my body was impossibly sore, past the point that being thrown to the ground or fighting could explain. I mean, my atoms, including my muscles, neurons and organs all had to come back together in the exact same way they had been left to a completely new location. Something could easily be out of place...

But I could remember all of this and the brain was a really sensitive organ so obviously something had gone right when it exploded. But, it had still exploded!

How was I not scattered in pieces all over the world? Luck was for once on my side.

With that decided, I tentatively tried to listen to my surrounding to get an understanding of what was happening before I opened my eyes. But when I tried, all I could was a high pitched whining from my left ear. Still lying down I reached up into my mask and grabbed whatever it was, crushed it and threw the tiny remaining pieces onto the ground.

The whining was now replaced with my ears ringing. Still couldn't hear a thing. Great.

This sucked. But maybe I could get an idea of my surroundings by... feel? Nup, it just felt like aching muscles, bruises, grazes and blood. Which would probably end up being a pain in my ass to clean up. Hopefully, the Ultimates hadn't just abandoned me and would help me. Maybe they wouldn't have to if my healing factor kicked in quick enough. So maybe I would just need a shower?

Maybe this was all a fever dream? Maybe I had actually hit a wall and passed out the night I got taken by Hydra.

No, no that patrol had been quiet. This was, unfortunately, all real.

I shook the stray thoughts away, I should check out what's going on around me instead of wondering what state I was in. That would determine what I could actually do in my current situation. I tried to open an eye but hissed at the blinding light. Oh, this was great. I would have to wait for my eyes to adjust.

So, I couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything, I had no idea where or when I was (who knew, it was a teleporter malfunctioning. Anything could happen) and I was injured. At least my spidey-sense was quiet. So, I was okay - at least for the moment.

I managed to get an elbow under myself and use it as an anchor to push myself up. My legs were to the side and my head was in my hands, my body groaning its protest to the movement.

Why did this have to happen? Why did that clone have to kick-

Suddenly something touched my shoulder and I kicked out at whatever it was before I even realised what I was doing. I jumped away, accidentally crashing into something else that felt squishy, probably a human being. We both went down, me groaning as I hit my funny bone on the pavement. I opened my eyes, realising I didn't have a choice on how long I took to adjust to the light. I had to find out what was going on right now.

I turned to look at what I had brought down with me. It was a civilian, crap.

Or at least it looked like one, you never know these days.

I got up slowly and offered them a hand up, which they stared at in a mixture of concern and confusion. I cringed, "Sorry about that," I said, hoping that my apology would make them less uneasy of me. They tentatively accepted my hand and I pulled them to their feet.

I looked back to see who I had kicked and realised that I had, in fact, kicked another innocent. Oh, that must hurt. I approached them with caution, hoping they wouldn't be hostile after I hurt them. I crouched down a meter or so away and waited until I had their attention before saying, "Sorry, that was an accident. Are you okay?"

They nodded and I relaxed, shoulders sagging in relief. I finally allowed myself to look around at my surroundings. Well, that was a crowd of people. Staring. And had witnessed everything. Oh.

I was very aware that I looked like a deer caught in headlights, but this was so embarrassing.

I quickly patted my head to check that my mask was indeed still on. It was, and it was mostly intact, too. It had ripped in a few places, but that couldn't really be helped. I poked through one of the rips and winced as a stab of pain went through me. I should probably get that checked out soon.

I looked down and realised that my costume wasn't in the best state. It looked like a little kid had grabbed some scissors and started hacking away at it. But it mostly covered me, which was all that mattered right now. Wouldn't want to accidentally flash a crowd of people.

I looked up, relief sagging over me as I realised I was in a city that looked very familiar. When I smelt the air it smelt like everything undoubtedly New York. This was great! Awesome! I wouldn't have to go on some crazy adventure trying to get home.

I looked back at the crowd as I saw someone approaching me. They were moving slowly, like I was a threat or a cornered animal. Which, hey, I was just Lil' ol' me, no harm to anyone but myself. Their mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear a thing. Ah, that's right I couldn't hear a thing.

"My ears are ringing, I uh, I can't hear you," I said, standing up properly. "Ah, if you're asking how I am, I'm sore, and if you're asking why I'm here, a teleporter exploded. Is there anything else?"

They nodded. They seemed to frown, probably wondering how to get the point across. Moments later they were reaching for their bag and pulled out a notebook and pen. They scribbled out something and then showed it to me.

'Who are you?' I read. I frowned. That wasn't right, surely most of New York knew who I was by now? I mean, sure I wasn't the best of the best but I did get to fight alongside them! Also, there had been a bunch of clones everywhere, I'm not sure how you would miss that.

"Spider-man, I'm in the news sometimes? I should be in the news right now?" I said, looking at the crowd. They seemed… confused. That wasn't right…

They scribbled something else and then presented it to me. 'You don't look like Spider-man.'

I was starting to realise that something was seriously wrong here, and I had an idea of what it was, but I was scared to verify it. "Uh, has no one ever seen me?" Many of them shook their head. "Ever? On the news? Newspapers? No?"

The only logical conclusion I could come up with was… I was in an alternative universe. Or mind control. There was no way that New Yorkers, a crowd of New Yorkers had never heard of me. Like a thousand or so of me, by my guesses, had been running around. It had to have been on the news. I guess I would have to find some superheroes to help me, because I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Or time travel?

"Can someone show me the Spider-man of this world? Or any superheroes of this world?" I asked, looking around at the group. Quickly people had their phones out, and in under a minute someone was presenting their phone.

It was of a Spider-man, but unlike the Peter Parker Spider-man, I had met a few months ago this one had a red and black design. Actually, most of their design was black, their webbing was black, the spider was black and legs were black. They seemed to have some sort of gauntlet on their arms, which was silver with a red dot on it. I had never seen anything like it, but it did look cool. Hopefully, they were friendly like the Peter Parker Spider-man.

So there was a Spider-man in this world, but there ought to be some superhero teams too. I should probably look for them first, instead of a probably elusive Spider-man.

"Who's the big superhero team?" I asked, looking around at the small crowd, "Like the Ultimates, or... Fantastic Four?"

"Oh, we have the Avengers and the Fantastic Four." Oh hey, I could just hear them over the ringing in my ears.

"And they live in New York?" I asked, looking up at the surrounding buildings.

"Yeah." Another person confirmed.

I thwiped a web, pulling it taught and jumping away. "Thank you!" I called over my shoulder, doing a small salute. I looked back in front of me and raced down the street by web, ignoring my burning muscles. When I felt like I was far enough away I pulled myself up on to a random building. I had to patch myself off before I did anything else. I wanted to make sure none of my injuries were life-threatening or would slow me down.

I wished I still had that bandage from when I had broken my wrist, because right now I had nothing. I couldn't even wander around on the streets because I had nothing to change into.

I swung onto a building and sat down on the side of the building. Now was as good a time as any to check my wounds and costume properly. I looked over my arms first and found carpet burns, which I guessed was from being thrown into the ground. They were bleeding a little bit, but all I needed to do was get rid of all the gravel in it. I looked at my legs and found a similar situation. Actually, most of my wounds were the equivalent of carpet burns, but slightly worse. Like someone had viciously dragged me across the ground for ages. But still, carpet burn type wounds. Where there were wounds the costume had been torn away, and in some places, the costume was thinner but luckily hadn't torn.

I was glad it was nothing worse, if something was broken it would really suck trying to treat it. I would have to do what I had done when I had dragged myself out of the water after breaking my wrist all over again. And even then I only had the canisters currently in my web shooter to rely on. Since Stark had given them to me, who knew just how much I had in it? I would probably have to use a part of my costume to wrap up any injuries if it came down to that.

I stood up, now I just needed to find a toilet to clean myself up. Where was the nearest mall?

I jumped down and began swinging. Manhattan hall would probably maybe be around, right? I wasn't looking forward to having to walk around in a costume in a mall, that would be awkward, or maybe they would think I was a weird cosplayer…

I lounged on top of a hot dog van, looking up at the sky. It was starting to get dark, with the cold beginning to settle with it. The sun had only just set and the orange in the sky was fading rapidly. I was reluctant to leave, especially with the chance of another hot dog coming my way.

See, I was walking around on the street, wondering what I was going to do next cause I still didn't know where the Avengers lived or where the fantastic four lived and I didn't want to waste any webbing. So I was pointlessly wandering around when this old man in front of a vending machine calls out, telling me to come over. He had asked who I was, and after I had explained my situation, had passed me a hot dog.

Completely surprised, I had asked why and he said that the spidey on this world used to stop here all the time, but after he got his costume change he never came around. So if he couldn't feed his Spidey, he should feed a spidey in need.

So here I was, relaxed, with a full stomach. Honestly, it was so nice to have a warm meal, especially one not made by a Hydra person. It felt nice, all around. Nice enough for me not to question what this hot-dog was made of.

I placed a hand under my head and wondered where to go from here. Obviously, the Avengers wouldn't want to shout out their location for all the world to know. That would just be silly. But it made dimension-travellers like me have a hard time. Ugh.

Wait, maybe I could go on a patrol. Maybe some super heroes also went on patrols, and I could meet them and go 'what-up, I need help.'

"Hey Stan, are there a lot of superheroes in New York? Like, ones that stop petty crime?" I asked, looking down at him.

He looked up at me, "Oh yeah, New York is just crawling with superheroes. Sometimes it feels like you walk into a random alley and there's one."

"That's great. That's awesome! Thanks." I said, turning my head back to look at the sky.

I tensed up as my spider sense began to hum, then turned into a growl. I sat up, looking around for the source of it. Maybe it was a low-level threat? Or something was about to attack New York? Or-

Something attached to my chest and suddenly I was flying through the air. I may have screamed, and it may have been very high-pitched, but no one needed to know that.

Before I really had time to process where I was going, I was on concrete. I stumbled and fell over, where luckily I caught myself by my hands. I looked down at the thing on my chest… that looked like a spider-web. Oh boy.

I stood up, brushing myself off as I went. I turned to look at this universe's Spider-man and couldn't help but admire him. He looked really intimidating, what with them being like two head's taller than me, and the way the lenses stared at me made me want to hide in a hole. He was scary, okay? I had no shame in admitting that. I wish I could be just as scary with my shortness and admittedly kind of… high-pitched, not yet very manly voice.

"Hi!" I squeaked. I mentally facepalmed. Great job. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Uh, I'm Spider-man. I mean, I'm not you Spider-man or some weird cosplayer or something, I'm Spider-man from another world and-"

"Would you shut up? I already know this." They growled.

I gulped, taking a small step back, "Uh, sorry, I talk when I get nervous…"

"As most spider-men do," he grumbled under his breath. "Why are you here?"

"It wasn't my fault?" I tried. "I was in a big superhero fight and a teleporter malfunctioned and now I'm in this world, so, you know."

"Let me guess," he sneered, "You got overwhelmed or pinned down and couldn't get out of there in time?"

"Um, yes?" I sobered up a little. Being scary was great and all, but it was only good when it was directed towards actual bad guys. This guy thought it was okay to be a jerk to a fellow superhero, and if he was a hero he should understand how hard it is to be one.

Just because I made a mistake it did not make me a terrible superhero.

"Look, Spider-man or whatever you call yourself, I'm stuck in this Universe and I just need help getting home. Sorry if I inconvenienced you,-" I came closer, squaring my shoulders and puffing out my chest, "-but let me, remind you that you were the one that showed up out of the blue, rudely grabbed me and threw me on to this rooftop. I didn't interrupt you or do anything for you to be so… mean."

"My spider-bots registered you as something odd that I should check out. So I did. So, you did interrupt me."

"The last Peter Parker Spider-man I met was actually nice, and we helped each other. Ever heard of that? Working together?" I snapped. "I'm going to go find some other, better, superhero to help me." He didn't need to know that I had no idea where to find them.

As I thwiped a web, intent on following through with what I said, even if it would take me forever, my spider-sense went off and I looked back at them to see him inches from my face. A part of me wanted to scream, but I refused to look I was freaking out.

"I am the best superhero around here. Do you want to get home faster? If you do, then you come with me and I'll have you home by tomorrow," he said, his voice on the edge of a growl. I wanted to say he sounded like the worst impression of Batman ever but I didn't want to die. This guy might just do that because I hurt his ego.

"How do I know you won't try and kill me instead? My spider-sense is humming, and it's definitely coming from you." I folded my arms, "All you've done is stake claims about how mighty you are, insulted me and been a jerk. Maybe you'll just shoot me with a death ray?"

"Too messy to clean up," he grumbled. "But I can do this in half the time that any other superhero can."

"How about we test that," I challenged, "You call all your superhero friends- scratch that, any superhero that you know," obviously he had no friends, but I didn't add that, "and tell them the situation. You beat them to the punch, great, you proved yourself better than all of them. You don't? Well…"

"Fine!" A moment later this Spider-man had brought out some weird device I assumed was a phone of some sort and pressed a bunch of buttons. A minute later he looked back at me. "Done, come with me I need to do some testing."

I tensed, "Um, no thanks. I don't trust you."

He narrowed his eyes at me, "I need to find out which universe you're from." He ground out.

"Invent the teleporter or something first, that doesn't require knowing where exactly I'm from," I said, taking a step back.

He looked at me for a moment longer, every moment making me want to shrink in on myself more. Finally, he threw something at me and I looked down at it. "Communicator. Keep in touch and don't die, I have a point to prove."

This time he thwipped a web and gradually disappeared into the skyline. Well, that guy is a huge jerk. But I would put up with him to get home. Hopefully, he would actually get me home and not just slice me up into a million pieces.

Now to find a superhero, preferably a nicer one.

Resolved to my plan, I thwiped a web and set out for the night.

I heard a scream and followed the noise, quickly discovering the source of the sound. A small girl was surrounded by three people, all wearing crude masks to cover their identities. One had a crowbar, another a bat and the last had a gun. I would have to get the weapons first, or maybe I could simply get the girl up out of the way and then take them down.

Yep, that was a good plan. Less chance of them being in harm's way.

I dropped to the ground right in front of the girl, keeping low and ready to battle. "Hiya!" I cheerfully said, before grabbing the girl and jumping into the air.

She screamed in surprise while the criminals screamed some… unfavourable things at me. I put her down gently on top of the building. "Stay here, I'm just going to web up the baddies and then I'll help find your parents," I promised. She sniffed and nodded and I gave a small salute before I back-flipped down into the alley. Cause I could.

The criminals had their arms thrown wildly in the air as they argued loudly.

"You just let them get away! Now we won't get paid!"

"It's not my fault, you were the closest."

"You had a gun. You could have just shot them!"

"Aw, shucks, you don't have to argue over little ol' me! I'm touched, really." I said, wiping away a fake tear.

"You little twerp! Get him!" Yelled the first one.

I thwiped a web at the nozzle of the gun before that could be shot, in-casing their hand in the process. While they tried to shake it off the other two came running at me. I dropped to the ground and brought the one with the bat down before lunging at the other one with the crowbar. I grabbed the crowbar with one hand, using the other to punch him square on the nose. He yelled out in pain and I tugged the crowbar out of his grasp.

While he was distracted, I Spartan kicked him to the ground and webbed him up, the crowbar clattering down beside him before it was securely covered in web.

Spider-sense!

I ducked beneath one punch and jumped out of the way of a kick. I whirled around and kicked them in the hoo-ha. They collapsed to the ground and I used that moment to stick them to the ground. Now there was only one thug left.

Spider-sense!

I whirled around and found the first thug charging at me with his hand still covered in webs. I guess they had given up on getting the webbing off. I webbed their feet to the ground and they fell forward. I wrapped them securely in two or three webs.

Satisfied, I checked their pockets, found a phone, and called the police to come collect them.

I climbed back up to the rooftop to find the girl and hopefully get her home, but stopped when I saw the newcomer. He had wrapped her in a hug.

"Um, hi?"

They looked up and I saw little devil horns on their head. The only part of their skin I could see was their mouth and chin, but besides that, they were covered head to toe in red. They were crouched next to the little girl.

"You handled that fight well." They stated, voice gruff and low.

"Thanks?"

"I was about to take this nice young lady to her father, he's very close by. I'll be back in a moment."

"Wait-!" but they were gone already and I blinked in confusion. What just happened? That must have been some sort of superhero, if not the Daily Bugle would tarnish-

Actually, it doesn't really matter what I do here. I wasn't a hero here, I would just be here and gone. But still, I didn't want to live with that guilt.

I went to the edge of the building, trying to see the devil horn guy. After several minutes of looking I couldn't find him, at all. I bit my lip, that wasn't good. I mean, I wanted them to come back and if they were a good guy I could go, 'hey, can I crash at your place' and then boom, my biggest problem solved.

I frowned, I didn't think they were coming back. I might as well just… keep on patrolling.

I turned around and screamed. What was with 'superheroes' and scaring me? "DUDE, WHAT THE HECK."

While I had been distracted this guy with the horns had come around behind me and stopped less than a metre away from me. That was so creepy and wrong.

"You can't just sneak up on people like that!"

"Sorry to surprise you," they replied. I folded my arms, he didn't sound sorry at all. "I was testing out your senses." Yep, this guy was an ass. 'Testing my senses,' who did that? This guy turns out.

"Whatever, how's the little girl?" I asked, deciding to get straight to the point and not talk about how wrong it is to sneak up on people.

"Fine. Safe. With their father." They said, moving past me to stand at the edge of the rooftop.

"That's good." Okay, suck it up I had to ask at some point. Even if this guy was an ass, he might be a superhero asshole who would help me. "Um, look I had a bit of a situation." I saw their head tilt towards me. Good, I had their interest. "How do I put this...? I'm from an alternative universe. I'm the Spider-man of that world and the 'Superior' Spider-man here, who's a huge jerk, is working on getting me home." I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. "Thing is… I don't really have anywhere to stay here and I don't want to live on the street during that time."

There was a pregnant pause while I nervously waited for their reply. Would they dismiss me? Think I was a lunatic? I hoped not.

They finally turned to look at me properly and I squared myself, ready to be rejected.

"You're telling the truth." They simply said.

I shrugged, "Yeah, I mean, it would be hard to come up with a story like that."

"And you want to live in my apartment while you wait to get home?" He asked.

I nervously nodded. He seemed to consider me for a long moment before giving in. "Alright, come with me." He jumped off the roof as the last word came out of his mouth and I ran after him. I swung off after him, trying to spot him again.

Man, this guy loved disappearing out of sight and off of buildings.