Try To Be

by cleverhead

The irony of Gray falling for Juvia after rejecting her only a year ago was almost too much for him to bear. They made a promise they could be friends and now it was him who wanted to break it. (angsty because I am perhaps a sad girl at heart) (rated m for swearing) (ONE SHOT but can be a multi-chap fic if there's a request for it) (unedited) (please review :D)

When Gray rejected Juvia, everyone who knew about it was ready to remedy the damage. Even Gray was expecting a harsh flood to overcome Magnolia, which was why he chose to do it on a hill, a mile out from the guild. You know, just in case.

What he didn't expect was the serene expression to settle upon the girl's delicate face. The small smile forming on her lips shocked the ice mage and he had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't actually just knocked out from a wave and was just dreaming.

"Ah, you've finally found the courage to tell her. Juvia is proud of you." Is what she had said at the time. The sunlight caused shadows to cast over her features, barely hiding the loving glint in her eyes. Probably the last time she'd look at him like that, he was sure.

He opened his mouth to ask her if she was truly okay, but just like always, she seemed to read his mind and answered for him.

"Don't worry. Juvia will try to be okay." Her smile was hurt, yet genuine.

It was a face of hers he'd remember forever.

"But she's sure you know that this is hard news to accept for her and that she will need some time alone to gather her bearings." Gray remembered her tone to be soft, understanding. He remembered feeling his hand subconsciously reach out for her, as if he could visibly see her crumble before him. Except the thing was, she wasn't. And that alarmed him.

"I'd say you're taking this pretty well, actually."

"Oh? Juvia guesses it would be more in character for her to cry and beg for you to reconsider." She laughed.

Gray didn't ask any more questions after that.

He only accepted that perhaps Juvia was more mature than he thought, which he could only say his thanks for before watching as the water mage stepped up to him, an apologetic smile on her face as she said, "Sorry, she knows that you probably won't like this but this is nothing more than a goodbye," before planting a soft, and platonic, kiss on his cheek.

The burning sensation left on his skin was just from the intensely sunny, not-raining sky above, Gray chose to think.

He had watched her descend the hill completely before he followed after her and back to the guild.

That was almost a year ago and things have changed drastically to say the least.

The guild had undergone another renovation (because of one guild brawl that got way too out of hand), a few couples have emerged among the guild members, and Juvia and Gray's relationship had reasonably changed. But not in the way most would've thought.

Some thought Juvia and Gray would've avoided each other but remain amicable.

Some thought Juvia would avoid Gray at all costs.

And a select few even believed Juvia would've left the guild.

But none of the above happened. In fact, some could say the opposite occurred.

A month after Juvia took a simple far away mission for "recuperating her healing heart" as she had put it, Juvia asked Gray if they could go out for a friendly dinner to discuss things. He easily accepted, having not wanted to be strangers with her again (something he had feared the entirety she was away).

Juvia found it somehow ironic that the time she had asked him out and he said yes was only after he rejected her.

Nonetheless, they had a nice dinner at a cozy seafood spot near the edge of Magnolia. Gray was somewhat nervous, he kept fidgeting with his shirt's buttons. Juvia herself was only happy to see him again, and also proud that the hurt in her heart was somewhat undetectable this time when she looked at him.

Gray thought that she was going to tell him that she was going to leave the guild or something. The thought alone sent his anxiety sky high. He'd hate himself forever if he was the reason she was going to leave her new family behind.

But that wasn't the case. Instead, Juvia gently took his hand in hers before they ordered and gave him a simple proposition.

"Would you like to be friends with Juvia?"

The question caught him off guard and he immediately responded, slightly offended. "I thought we were already friends?"

Juvia looked at him guiltily, putting her free hand behind her neck shyly. "Ah, well to Gray-sama it may have seemed that way. But for Juvia, well… you know how she loved you. This time, Juvia is just asking if she can start over per se. If you can give Juvia the chance to be close to you without fear of her coming onto you, it would make her happy. Juvia just feels a little guilty for all the times you tried to be her friend and she just threw herself at you."

So that's what this is about, Gray thought. The initial offense he felt faded away and a sense of optimism filled its place. He returned Juvia's gesture and gripped her hand tighter, a determined, genuinely happy grin on his face.

"That would be nice."

And just like that, Gray and Juvia became friends. Well, in Juvia's case, it could be called: Friends, Part Two.

Now here they were, months later, and Juvia couldn't be any happier with where her relationship with Gray was going.

When they first promised to be friends, they made a deal to hang out at least once every other week to get used to their new terms. It started off as having lunch together, to going on missions together again, until it became an everyday thing and they did little things together like helping one another out with errands.

On some particularly long days, Gray would even invite Juvia to sleepover at his house where they would end the night with a movie and Gray setting up the sofa bed for Juvia to stay the night. This was how Gray found out that Juvia sometimes snored, a quirk of hers he found oddly endearing. By the fifth month of their arrangement, Juvia started leaving a toothbrush at his place.

Oh, but don't get them wrong. Their relationship was still completely platonic. In fact, it was so platonic that it started to weird out their guildmates.

"You're always letting her stay at your place, are you sure you're not secretly together?" Lucy peered up at him suspiciously as she crossed her arms. Team Natsu was currently returning home from a week-long mission in Hargeon and Lucy finally found the time to interrogate him.

Gray sighed, used to the accusations by now. He smiled. "Yes! We're just friends. Juvia is totally over me, I can tell. She doesn't try to touch me unnecessarily and always leaves in the morning without prying for more time."

Lucy still wasn't buying it, he could tell from the frown on her face. Lucy opened her mouth to speak again but Erza cut her off.

"It's not Juvia we're concerned about, it's you. Are you sure you don't like her like that?"

This took Gray aback. He looked at his teammates, offended. He felt heat rising up to his face so he turned away from them, arms crossed. "Tch, I don't know what makes you think I would. She's practically like a sister to me now, like you two."

Erza frowned at him, a look in her eyes Gray couldn't pinpoint. "Are you being honest? Because I don't want to see you getting disappointed Gray. Juvia told me about how she started-"

"Why do you think I'm lying?! Juvia is just a friend, we both promised each other we would be." Gray cut her off, missing the last part of what Erza said, only understanding that everybody thought of him as a liar.

"That's not what it seems." Now it was Wendy's turn to speak. She looked shy as she stated, "You're different now, Gray. You seem…more at ease."

"Wendy's right." Happy chimed in, "You probably don't notice it, but you keep going out of your way to see her. You barely even hang out with the team anymore unless if we're on a mission!"

Gray groaned. What was up with them bringing up all this random crap? Is that not what friends do?! Hang out?! "I'm treating her just like you guys, and you know it!"

Finally, Natsu, who had been surprisingly quiet throughout the whole discussion finally spoke up, surprising everyone when he said, "Gray's right."

Everybody gasped.

"Are you seri- no, no. Yeah! I am right!" Gray boasted, shaking off his surprise at Natsu's support.

"Care to explain, Natsu?" Erza inquired.

Natsu hummed in thought. "Well, Gray and Juvia had an unusual relationship before so it makes sense that they're doing everything they can to turn it into something normal."

"Wow." Lucy deadpanned. "The first time Natsu says something with some thought behind it… and it's completely wrong!" Lucy grabbed a startled Natsu by his collar and shook him back and forth wildly, as if trying to rob him. "He's fallen for her and you can't tell? Can't you smell it on him, or some crap?!"

Natsu looked like he was about to barf before Lucy finally put him down, mumbling a soft apology to her boyfriend.

"We can talk about this another time." Erza spoke after a brief awkward silence. Everyone was sure Lucy's rocking made Natsu throw up in his mouth a little. "We're reaching town now."

Gray looked up and she was right, they were finally approaching Magnolia. He could sort of see the guild's flag on the ceiling in the distance.

He ignored the way his heart started beating faster at the thought of meeting up with Juvia, just blaming it on the way he picked up the pace.

/

Gray immediately sought out Juvia, only to find Erza had beat him to it and was already discreetly talking to her in the corner of the guild. What? He only was excited to give her the item she wanted him to bring back from Hargeon for her! Nothing more, nothing less.

As he waited for her at a table, he fiddled with the wrapped box in his hands, it finally dawning on him how unusual it was for her to request such an item. It was a charm in the shape of a tiny glass vial with a spout sticking out of it's side. Apparently the shop he got it from was famous for making magical items such as these. What was so magical about it, he didn't know.

"Gray!"

Immediately recognizing the voice, Gray turned around with a bright smile on his face, completely forgetting about the odd vial.

"Happy to see me?" Gray teased as he watched Juvia settle into the seat beside him. She gave him a side hug, one he happily returned.

"Juvia is always happy to see Gray return home safe from a mission!" She said honestly, her eyes bright with glee as she pulled away.

He loved it when her eyes sparkled like that, like the ocean on a sunny day. It was refreshing, no matter how many times he looked into them.

"Mhm. I'm happy to be back too." Was all he said before gently putting the wrapped box in her lap. "You don't have to pay me back for it by the way, it was surprisingly cheap."

"Is this…?" Juvia hesitantly brushed her fingers across the store's logo that was stamped onto it's wrapped packaging. Upon realization, she gasped and excitedly threw her arms around his neck, Gray's awaiting arms already wrapping around her habitually.

"Gray is the best best friend a girl could ask for!" She praised into his neck. He was only glad that he chose a table far off to the side so that nobody could see the blush that was definitely finding its way to his cheeks. He never really did get used to her complimenting him.

As she pulled away from him, his hands found themselves settling on her waist. She didn't complain so neither did he. "I know I am." Was all he said, which earned a light smack on his chest from the girl halfway on his lap. He smirked as he asked, "So, what is it exactly?"

"Oh!" The girl scrambled off of him in excitement, ready to explain the amazing item in her hands. It left him feeling a little too cold. "This is a magic vial charm!"

Gray deadpanned. "Yeah, I got that. But what does it do?"

Juvia giggled, clearly finding this item amusing to her. "It sucks out a little portion of an emotion from somebody and contains it so that whoever has the vial may visibly see and hold the emotion in their hand."

The ice mage sat still as a rock as he tried processing the jumble of words she just spoke. Emotion in a vial? "Why would you want something like that? What would you even put in there?" Gray snorted. What emotion on this god given Earthland could possibly be worth storing in a small glass charm?

Juvia only sighed softly, as if in a trance. "Love, obviously. And it's a gift."

This made the hair on the back of Gray's neck stand on end. Love? He started to break out into a nervous sweat at the implications. Was… the gift for him? Had she gone back on her word and fell for him again? He was looking for the anger and betrayal that should be building up inside of him but could only feel warmth. Odd.

His response came out awkward and clumsy. "Erm, well, I-I guess that would b-be a good idea for a gift…" Oh god, what was he going to say when she gives it to him? He didn't know if he could handle rejecting Juvia again. They had already gotten so far as friends… but maybe… he didn't need to reject her this time? He knows it was hypocritical of him to say given the fact that he just argued with his team about how not in love with each other they were. But when Gray gave it some thought, he could actually visualize him and Juvia as a couple. Hell, they nearly were one just without the romantic affections. It wouldn't be the end of the world if Juvia did fall in love with him again…

Juvia beamed up at him, clutching the box tightly to her chest in delight. "Gray really thinks so?!" Her gaze was hopeful as she got up in his personal space to stare up at him.

He gulped. "Uh, yeah."

Juvia squealed as she lifted the gift up into the air as if she were holding the world's largest diamond. "This is fantastic! Juvia-oh! She has a great idea!" In a flash, Juvia took Gray's hand in hers and rushed them out of the guild and into it's backyard space.

"What are you-"

"It's better to do this in natural light so we can see it better!" Juvia settled them both on a stone bench overlooking the ocean. She leaned into him as she excitedly unwrapped the box. "Gray is going to love this!"

With her ecstatic, cute expression and body pressing into his, butterflies erupted in Gray's stomach making him heat up with embarrassment. What was he? A schoolgirl with a crush? He tried to shake the feeling away before Juvia would look up at him and catch him red-handed, or well, red-faced.

She carefully peeled the white wrapping paper away, despite her obvious anticipation. The box was annoyingly wrapped, with layers upon layers tied with twine. It would take her awhile to get to it's contents.

So, Gray took the time to analyze her. It was only every now and then that he would be in such close proximity to her nowadays.

Her hair had gotten considerably longer. It was once only up to her chest and now it reaches all the way down to her hips. And her lashes, had they always been so dark? They were nearly black, not blue like he would've thought. And her lips, she had definitely glossed them today. They were always nice and plump, but never this shiny. He wondered what the occasion could possibly be. Maybe she was trying to woo him?

"There we go! Isn't it beautiful?" Juvia finally held up the vial up to the sun, causing the light to spread through it like a prism. She sighed in awe as she brought it closer to her face. "Gray did a good job, he picked the prettiest one!" She looked up at him again, to which he frantically looked away, not wanting to be caught staring. "Come here."

Her soft demand had him looking right back at her, stunned when she leaned up to kiss his forehead. "W-what-"

"Thank you, Gray!" She said earnestly. She was truly grateful, she knew these items were hard to come by as many people wanted them.

Gray blushed furiously, not even bothering to hide it this time. "It's nothing, really…"

Juvia giggled, used to him being as shy as usual. "Now, it's time for the final part. Juvia wants to show you how to use it."

Gray watched intently as Juvia held the spout on the side of the vial up to her face.

"You have to make sure you're feeling the emotion you want to bottle with a great intensity." Juvia explained, as if trying to ready herself. "And since Juvia wants to bottle up her love, she will think of him as she blows into this spout." She nodded, clearly talking to herself. It was obvious she's never done this before with how she nervously brought it up to her lips. It made Gray smile.

His adoring expression slowly turned into a flustered one as he realized that the soft expression on her face was because of him. Her relaxed brows, the slight pink tint to her cheeks, and the relieved smile on her face as if her love brought her all the comfort in the world…

As she blew into the vial, a light pink air started to build up inside. Gray watched in awe at the way it swirled around, sparkling. It was dazzling as it danced around the glass. So this was her love materialized.

He subconsciously reached out to it. "May I?" He asked, once Juvia finally opened her eyes to find Gray gazing down at her. She nodded.

The ice mage took the now filled vial in his hands and inspected it carefully, as if it was a piece of gold. "So… your love is pink and sparkly." He looked back at her with an amused expression. "It's pretty."

Gray reveled in the way a bright pink blush erupted on her face, similar to the shade in the vial. "Ah, well… thank you, Gray."

"You don't need to be shy about it, it's a beautiful gift. Anyone would be lucky to have it." He said seriously. He wanted to make sure she felt no hesitation when she confessed again. He didn't want her to be scared of rejection.

Juvia reached for the vial again and looked at it herself. "Juvia wonders if every love is pink, if every love sparkles or if it's different for everyone…" Her eyes held a hint of longing that Gray didn't understand. He was about to ask if she was okay when a raindrop hit his nose.

"It's raining?" But there were no clouds in the sky earlier.

Juvia looked surprised too. She looked nervously up at the sky and back at Gray, "This isn't Juvia's fault, but we should go in nonetheless."

Gray agreed and followed the water mage back inside the guild, thinking about what he would say when Juvia finally told him she loved him again.

/

A week had passed since Gray gave Juvia the vial and she had asked him to stop by the dormitory tonight for a quick favor. Gray had a feeling that it was going to be more than that so he made sure to dress up a little nicer than usual.

He also had a feeling that she would stay the night tonight. Instead of pulling out the sofa bed however, he set up the other side of his bed with another pillow.

Gray caught a glimpse of his reflection as he walking out of his room in his hallway mirror. He almost had to laugh at the irony of it all. Here he was, almost a year after rejecting Juvia, and he was dressed up for her, setting up his bed for her, and ready to invite her to sleep in the same bed as him. What were the odds?

As he made his way through town to get to Juvia, his heart began to race as his mind was filled with what their lives would be like as a couple. He imagined taking her out not as friends, but as lovers going on dates and how she'd probably dress up all cute and beautiful every time. He visualized what she'd look like waking up next to him in the morning, voice raspy and eyes glistening with sleepiness. He pictured how he would shower her with gifts to make up for all the time they wasted not being together, but more importantly to make up for him rejecting her a year ago.

The memory of how he came about rejecting Juvia was a bitter one and in retrospect, he wishes he never even considered it. He has no idea what even made him want to do it in the first place. His initial reasoning seems stupid now that he thinks about it. She was too clingy. She never gave him space. She embarrassed him.

All of those reasons… he found were the reasons he actually liked her. During the months they became friends, Juvia would regularly greet him with a hug, not like the tight, suffocating ones she used to give, but just a nice "I'm happy to see you" greeting and then a "I can't wait to hang out again" hug as a goodbye. It made him feel valued. Juvia also never let him be alone when she saw that he was having a particularly rough day and it helped him get over himself and have a brighter outlook on life. And last but not least, the Juvia he knew as a friend was still as embarrassing as the one who loved him… but in a way that Gray admired. She was funny, outrageous, and never failed to make him stifle a laugh. She knew no bounds when it came to having a good time, something Gray had a fun time figuring out. Her antics did get a bit embarrassing at times, but it was a welcome feeling.

He was never bored when she was around.

By the time he reached the gates of Fairy Hills, his heart had matched the pace of a bumbling herd of wildebeests against his chest. He really did feel like a schoolgirl with a crush.

Juvia told him beforehand that he made arrangements for him to be allowed up to her room, only another reason he felt that tonight was going to be a big deal.

He had only been in the girl's dormitory a few times to help out one of the girl's with moving furniture and stuff like that. But never had he been purposely invited just to hang out.

When he knocked on Juvia's door, he tried to calm his nerves, knowing full well that if she looked close enough, she could see that he was shaking.

"Coming!" He heard her say from the other side of the door. It sounded like she was rushing around, bumping into things as she went. He stifled a laugh when he heard her curse quietly after a particularly loud bang.

Finally, the door swung up to reveal Juvia standing before him in all her feminine glory. She tied her hair up into a high ponytail, revealing the soft skin of her neck and shoulders. Her camisole accentuated her chest and Gray had to mentally will himself to maintain eye contact to avoid having his arousal being known.

But that was also a mistake.

Juvia rarely did her makeup, but tonight she did. And she looked breathtaking.

"Important night?" He teased as she stepped aside to let him in.

Juvia laughed softly. "Well, it definitely is a big night for Juvia, that's for sure."

For us. He thought to himself with a smile.

"Please, sit. Juvia needs to tell you something." She requested, gesturing to her couch. He complied, his plan of settling his nerves failing as Juvia sat right next to him so that their legs were touching.

Gray gulped as he looked down at her. She was so close. She had a contemplative look on her face as she fiddled with her thumbs, clearly just as nervous as he was. You don't need to be nervous, he thought.

After a brief silence, Juvia let out a heavy sigh. She looked up at him with a tiny smile that Gray didn't know how to react to. "Juvia just wanted to say how grateful she is for you."

Gray felt his chest swell up with a warmth that he had felt a lot this past week. He was about to take her hand into his when Juvia reached out to pull the vial that was now connected to a chain. She raised it up to show him.

"Because of Gray, Juvia is able to feel a love like this." The pink cloud in the vial swirled around the glass as she twirled it, the sparkles inside glittering like fairy dust.

Gray didn't know it, but his lips had formed into a soft smile as he watched Juvia's love float around in the tiny glass, as if it was happy to see him.

He turned to look at her to find the same tiny smile still there, except the longing look in her eyes he saw when she first filled up the vial outside of the guild was there too now. Gray reached out for her, aiming to cup her cheek in his hand when Juvia moved again, this time to set the charm on the coffee table in front of them.

She leaned forward and turned to look at him with an expression he couldn't really place. "Because of Gray-sama, the rain Juvia once knew doesn't plague her life anymore."

Gray didn't know how much he missed her calling him that until she did. Hearing the familiarity of her sweet voice calling his name so adoringly sent a new wave of emotions to rush through him. It pushed him into her, his arms instinctively wrapping around the woman who had completely robbed him of any sense.

He buried his face into her hair and mumbled, "It was also you too, you made my life brighter too." He tried explaining to her. He wanted to convey how she made him feel with as bad at words as he was. Gray needed her to know how much she meant to him.

Juvia let out a soft laugh as she returned his hug, albeit surprised at first. She rubbed his back comfortingly. "That's so nice to hear…"

"I want you happy, always." Gray pulled back so that he could look at her. Her face was mere inches from his and she looked so happy that she could cry. And if Gray was being honest with himself, he was too.

The ice mage was about to confess how sorry he was for rejecting her, for how hurt she must've been. And he wanted to commend her for finding the courage to confess to him again, knowing how scared she must've been to be rejected a second time. He wanted to tell her he loved her.

But he didn't get the chance because the words that left Juvia's soft pink lips silenced him completely.

"Yes, and it's because of Gray-sama that Juvia was able to find happiness with someone new."

When Gray didn't reply, Juvia continued.

"Juvia knows you're probably surprised, considering she hasn't told you about Akihiro-kun yet, but she's been wanting to keep it to herself until they made it official."

Official?

"Juvia met him on that month-long mission around this time last year, do you remember?" She twirled a strand of hair between her fingers as she smiled gently.

She's been talking to this guy?

"He was the client, he was so kind and welcoming to her. Juvia wanted to stay in touch. Little did she know that she'd end up falling in love." She laughed at this, but Gray didn't find it funny at all.

He finally found his voice, having it been trapped under the lump in his throat. "Y-you… you've been seeing this guy since last year?!" He felt betrayed, but what he said came out as something more in disbelief.

Juvia tilt her head as she thought about it. "Hm, well, not quite. Akihiro-kun and Juvia have just been exchanging letters back and forth and talking via communication lacrimas. We haven't seen each other in person since last year."

Gray only stared at her, afraid to open his mouth, scared that what was going to come out was only going to offend her.

Juvia continued on. "It wasn't until… hm, a month ago that Juvia and him have decided to try a relationship." Her voice got softer as she reached out for the vial once more, looking at it lovingly.

Gray could only stare at it in distaste now, the warmth in his chest turning to a chilling cold that even he wasn't used to.

Juvia held it close to her heart as she gazed up at him, almost guiltily. "We couldn't go very long without seeing one another so tonight he's coming over. This will be the first time we'll be seeing each other since all those months ago-"

"Why?" He cut her off, his tone angry.

Juvia looked at him, shocked. "W-why what?"

"Why him?!" Gray stood up now, glaring down at her as if she had just stabbed him in the back. "You just said I made you happy!"

"Gray, Juvia doesn't-"

"I'm supposed to be the one there for you, me! Not some random bastard you met on a mission!" He was pacing back and forth now, his hands gripped tightly in his hair as if the tighter he pulled, the faster the world crumbling around him would come back together.

Juvia only stared at him in confusion, wondering where his sudden anger came from. It began rubbing off on her. "You are! You are one of Juvia's best friends! Gray just said he wanted Juvia to be happy, so when she tells him she is, you get mad!" Somewhere in her rant she also stood up because now she is chest to chest with the man she used to love, confused and hurt. "Is Gray a liar?!" She poked him hard in his chest, fully aware of the tears of betrayal that began to prick her eyes.

Gray's hardened expression quickly melted at the sight of her teary eyes, but the hurt he felt was slow to subside.

"I… I am not the liar here." She was the one who just a year ago loved him with her entire being, that adored everything he did. She was the one who supposedly moved on from him in just a months time.

She was the liar, the one that twisted the knife in Gray's back with a smile on her face.

"You're supposed to love me." His voice that was once filled with a storming rage and an overwhelming hurt was now empty. His heart, completely bled out.

He looked down at her with a sorrow he would never speak of to anyone. She was the perfect image of chaotic harmony, looking up at him with eyes that used to love him, only now staring at him like a stranger.

Juvia stepped away from him, finding the air between them suffocating. The expression on his face was one she wished she never saw, moreover one she regretted being responsible for. But still…

"How could you say that?" Her voice was no louder than a pin drop. She hung her head, not wanting him to see her face. "How could you expect her to when you told her not to? Juvia only did what you asked her to… To move on. So why?" Her hands bunched up in fists at her sides, angry tears spilling down her cheeks. There goes my makeup, she thought.

The memory of his rejection for her was brought to the forefront of his mind and the weight of it all sent him falling back into the couch.

"Please move on from me, I can't be with you."

"You are just not for me."

"You can find someone else."

"I do not love you like that."

In all of his years of existence, out of every mistake he made, Gray had never felt such a heavy regret as when he lied to himself and to Juvia about how he felt about her.

He wanted to give her a rebuttal, to make her recall her love for him in just a single sentence. He didn't want to believe that she was over him, not when he had just accepted he was in love with her.

From his spot on the couch, he looked up at her like he was seeing her for the first time. The way she stared at him like he was the last person she wanted to be in a room with sickened him. There was only one thing left to say.

"Juvia, I lo-"

"No." Her tone was harsh and cut him straight off like a sharpened blade. Her glare was icier than any magic he could ever dream of producing as she said, "No, you don't. You want to know how Juvia knows that?"

He knew it was a rhetorical question. Gray felt smaller than a bug as though if he spoke another word, the floor would swallow him whole.

"Because Gray, you and Juvia made a promise."

The tears that fell down her face each sent a pang of hurt to ring through his heart like a sorrowful symphony. Out of all the people to make her cry, he hated having to be one of them.

"You and Juvia are supposed to try and be friends. While Juvia was getting over you, you were supposed to learn what it would be like to see Juvia as a normal guildmate, not someone who was madly, deeply in love with you."

Her words bounced back and forth in his head, as if he couldn't quite understand whether or not he wanted to believe them. He knew that he should, because they indeed made that promise and Gray was a man of his word. But he also knew that above all he just wanted her to stop reminding him of his mistakes and just take him in his arms like she would've done what now seems like centuries ago.

"So don't tell me you love me, not after…" She trailed off, surely thinking of the definitely grueling process it was to bury her feelings for him. He didn't need to know the details, he knew how hard it must've been for her just by the way she bit her lip and forced herself not to cry any harder.

He shouldn't be the one to make her cry, he should be the one to dry her tears. Although, he doubts that she would even let him touch her at this point.

Juvia had been a mage for the majority of her life, and yet getting over Gray Fullbuster was the hardest things she's ever had to do.

The morning after his rejection, Juvia woke up with puffy eyes and an itchy throat from the hours she spent crying herself to sleep. But that was all the crying Juvia allowed herself to do because she made a promise to herself that she was never going to revert back to being the rain woman again. It was with determination and a barely beating heart that Juvia made the decision to take a mission far away to get some space from the man who didn't love her. She almost didn't go because of the small voice in her head that tried convincing her that a month without him would be too hard on her heart.

She's glad she didn't listen because if she did, she wouldn't have met her new love.

His letters and calls always made her smile, and he always did his best to help her forget about the ache in her heart, never once having an ulterior motive to win her over. He was always genuinely kind to her, always asking how her days had been and genuinely wanting to know the answer. And he always made Juvia feel beautiful, she often caught him staring whenever they video-chat through their communication lacrimas.

He wasn't even next to her throughout those months and yet he made Juvia feel warmer than the summer sun.

The pain she had felt throughout her journey of teaching her heart to love again had faded and blossomed into a new romance for Juvia, one she made sure would be successful this time.

Juvia straightened herself out, reminding herself that he was going to be her any minute to pick her up. So, she cleared her throat and wiped the tears from her eyes so that she could deliver her message in a way that Gray would understand completely. Her stare was determined as she locked eyes with him. It made him sit still, despite the racking of his heart in his throat as if begging to fall out.

"You do not love Juvia, Gray." She spoke down to him as if trying to convince him to believe her. It was the harshest she had ever spoke to him and only made his heart break more, he hoped she would stop there but alas, that was not his luck. She stepped closer to him looked at him hopefully. "You are confusing your fondness of her friendship for love. You are just scared that her boyfriend will take your place as her best friend. Right?"

Juvia was having a hard time speaking to him so coldly when he looked up at her like each word she spoke sucked the life out of him. But… she couldn't let this go. It wouldn't be right, not after all that they had gone through.

Giving into the side of her that felt guilty for the sorrow in his expression, Juvia sighed, resting a hand on his shoulder as she got down to eye-level with the man on her couch.

Her lips quirked up into a sad smile, his unshed tears making her heart squeeze. The anger from before was fading away as she knew that Gray really did mean no harm, he was just… too late.

"Juvia loves you Gray…"

His heart leaped and his eyes widened as if he was finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. But as soon as the light appeared, it diminished with her next statement.

"But not enough to let you hurt her again."

He was searching her eyes for some sort of hesitation, but all he found was a look in her gaze that said she was genuinely sorry.

But why should she be?

This was just karma, wasn't it?

A heart for a heart?

Gray looked down at the vial that was again resting on the coffee table, her love innocently sitting there, not wanting to taunt him, but totally was.

He laughed ironically. "I guess it's my turn now? To go on a month long mission and 'recuperate a healing heart'?" Gray used Juvia's words from all those months ago with a sad smirk, the rapid beating of his heart finally calming down.

Juvia smiled, a genuinely glad smile as she playfully nudged her friend in the shoulder. "Juvia hopes you aren't too heart-broken?"

He was about to answer the sweet girl when her communication lacrima lit up. Her boyfriend was here.

"Ah, Juvia has to go now. You can just let yourself out whenever." She rushed around, looking for her purse before finally finding it at the edge of her bed. She slung it over her shoulder and carefully put the vial inside, Gray watching the pink cloud and glass vial vanish from his vision. He looked up at her excited expression and silently told his heart to shut up and just be happy for her, because that's what friends do.

That reminded him of something, "Oh, wait." He stood up, hand rising as if to reach out for her. Juvia looked back at him expectantly.

"Hm?"

"What did you need me for tonight?" Juvia tilted her head confused and Gray smiled bitterly. "Don't tell me it was just to break the news to me that you had a man?"

Juvia's eyes widened in realization before she laughed. He was happy to hear that sound. "Oh, Juvia wanted her best friend to meet her boyfriend but she supposes it might be bad timing now…"

Gray laughed at that too, genuinely. "Yeah, I suppose you're right." He stuffed his hands in his pockets casually as he looked around her room. "It's okay if I stay here a bit? I'm a little tired."

Juvia waved him off as she walked to her front door. "Of course, silly. After all, you're my-"

"Best friend. I know, I know." Gray rolled his eyes playfully. "Now, go. Before I change my mind and go down there and beat his ass."

Juvia glared at him with a pout, but the small laugh that bubbled past her lips showed him that she wasn't really mad.

"Kidding!" He raised his hands up in defense, happy that he could still make her laugh. "Go now, I'll see you tomorrow."

Juvia smiled and nodded before unlocking and opening her door.

Gray was watching her go when he was reminded of her previous question. "Oh, hold up!"

Juvia sighed, feigning annoyance. "What now?" She stuck her tongue out at him at his fake hurt expression.

He shook his head, grinning. "Don't worry about me being heart-broken." She looked at him confused. But that confusion soon turned into one of softness as realization dawned at her at the next words he spoke with a tiny smile with an emotion she knew all too well: "I will try to be okay."