Chapter 2: Richie.
Richie always knew he was different, ever since he was that frightened little boy in Derry, Maine. When he was younger Richie tried to talk to his mom about his feelings towards other boys but that was a different time. The world wasn't as accepting as it is now, and honestly even now it still isn't as accepting as it pretends to be. His mother didn't want to hear anything about him being gay, Richie remembered exactly what she had said to him that cold winter day.
"Rich, I really don't have time to entertain your queer thoughts. No son of mine is going to be sucking cock."
And just like Richie was being scolded for not doing his chores his mother strolled out of the room to finish doing the laundry. It was like it meant nothing to her to just cut him down and go clean her sheets that were stained with the cum of her newest deadbeat boyfriend. Richie didn't understand how she could jump from unhealthy man to unhealthy man but have the audacity to tell him that he couldn't love whom he wanted to love. Love, now that was something Richie had never truly known until he met Eddie. His mother never loved him, and he had no idea who his father really was because his mother was always sleeping with a new guy. Hell, truth be told his mother didn't even know who his father was, if she did, she would've tried to get some kind of child support. Maybe his father was out there and knew who he was but didn't come around because of his mother. Honestly, Richie wouldn't blame him for that, Marleen was a mess and not someone worth the trouble of being around. But Richie wished he knew who he was so that maybe he could get him away from Marleen and her parade of men. When Richie met Eddie, his perspective started to shift about himself and honestly about love as well. When he met Eddie, he felt things he had never know before this petite asthmatic sauntered into his life. And that was the day he also knew he had to hide his feelings for the rest of his life. Gay men weren't exactly what you would call welcome in Derry and Richie didn't need word to get around the small town that he liked boys. If something like that spread Richie would have an ass whooping like he's never had before and then he and Marleen would be run out of town. Which probably would be nice… But Richie knew Marleen wouldn't feel the same way he did about that. Marleen liked being ignorant and complacent in this tiny town, but that was not something Richie wanted for himself. Richie was funny, really funny, he knew that he would be able to make money with this talent one day and it would sure as hell be enough to get the fuck away from Derry and from Marleen. He was sure that she would try cashing in on him once he got famous.
"I took care of you for 18 years, the least you can do is buy your ol' Ma a house and new car."
Richie really hated that woman. All she did was find ways to use people and manipulate them into thinking they owed her something for the choices that she'd made. He stood outside of his house in LA smoking a cigarette and letting the thoughts come and go as they often had these days. The evening autumn air was crisp and as he took a long drag, he felt his head begin to clear. His thoughts trailed back to Eddie as they always had. He missed him so much, some days it was tolerable but then there were days like this. Days that Richie had to hide from the world and try to pull himself together. It had been almost 5 years since Eddie gave his life so they could kill Pennywise once and for all, and Richie still hadn't been able to get over his death. Sure, he had tried meeting guys, which was easy to do here in LA. But none of them were him. No matter what Richie did he couldn't stop comparing them to the things Eddie would have said or done in certain situations. Rich even dated a guy simply because his name was Eddie but that only seemed to complicate his feels, so that relationship fizzled out as quickly as it began. Richie took another drag off his cigarette quickly before putting it out in the crystal ashtray that Bev had sent him as a gift a few years back. He liked keeping it out here on the porch because he would often come out to smoke and clear his mind, then be reminded of kind Beverly. As Richie thought about it, he realized that Bev may be the only woman he ever had romantic feels for. This thought made him smile briefly before other thoughts came flooding into his mind.
It was late, Rich needed to get some sleep. Mostly because he had a gig to attend tomorrow and didn't like looking like a mess in front of people and the media. Richie had already had his fair share of bad press and poor choices being plastered all over the media, that part of his life was over. If he needed to fall apart, he would do it behind closed doors, in the safety of his home. Rich slowly climbed the stairs and stopped for a moment at the front door, thinking of a time when he might not have had to enter the huge house alone. A single tear ran down his cheek as he thought of the life he and Eddie would never get to have.
"I love you Eddie spaghetti… I wish I could've been brave enough to say that when you were still here…"
And with that Richie went to his room and cried himself to sleep.