Kevin dropped his bag and got out of his wrestling boots. He looked around Bonnie's apartment. A cozy place with a hall, a kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom and a living room. Nothing over the top but not small either. It seemed very her.
"What do you do for a living?" He asked.
"I'm a photographer. I work at a studio downtown. Just me and three men," she said.
"Are you interested in one of them?" He asked.
"Eew, no. They're too old for me, and too family orientated," she said.
He chuckled at that. He remembered that she wasn't the biggest fan of the so called traditional family.
"You never were a fan of kids," he said.
"And somehow I always get the job when someone needs pictures taken of their kid. According to the guys, I'm supposed to love it because I'm a woman. I pretend. No need to tell the parents that I think their kid looks like an alien," she said.
"Same old you," he laughed.
She pointed at the couch. A part of him felt sad although he hadn't expected to actually be invited into her bed. He missed those nights decades ago where they curled up together wherever they ended up sleeping. He didn't miss the rough street life but he missed all the moments he had with her.
"You can sleep on that," she said. "And feel free to take a shower. You look like you need it."
He nodded and went for his bag to find a fresh pair of boxers and a t-shirt. He stood back up and looked at her again.
"You managed to turn your life around too," he said. "I was always wondering."
"Like you give a shit," she said.
"But I do," he said. "I've always cared. You know that."
"And you also promised to come for me on the next train, but you didn't. I waited a month for you, Kevin. I slept on that train station for a fucking month, and you never came. I ended up giving out handjobs to strangers just to get enough money to rent a room somewhere until I got an actual job," she said.
His heart broke for her in that moment. He could see she was fighting back the tears. She didn't wanna cry in front of him. The walls she had learned to build up as a young woman were still there when they needed to be. She refused to break down in front of him.
"Did you...?" He asked lowly.
"No, I never fucked anyone, or gave out blowjobs. Just handjobs but that was hard enough for me. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I was alone in a town I didn't know. The one person I thought I could trust didn't come for me as he promised. You're a fucking asshole, Kevin! I want you gone in the morning!" She yelled.
She stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door. He was left stunned for a few seconds before finally making his way to the bathroom. He showered quickly and put on the boxers and t-shirt. He walked back out and stopped in front of the bedroom. He stared at the door for ten long seconds before finally opening it and looking into the darkness. He could hear she was awake. He didn't say anything. He kept searching for some words to say but nothing came out.
"Come here," she said.
He fumbled his way through the darkness until his knees hit the bed. He laid down and she put the covers over him. He laid on his back while she was on her side with her face turned towards him.
"They put me in a youth center," he said. "That's why I didn't come for you. I thought they were gonna let me go as always but they drove me straight to that place where all windows and doors were locked. I couldn't get out. I waited for my chance. I befriended the staff enough for them to finally allow me to help out in the kitchen after a couple of months. I put a knife to the throat of one of the guys working there and forced him to unlock the front door, and then I just ran. I jumped on the train and I searched for you. I searched for you for a long time but no one knew who you were."
He didn't know what he had expected but her reaction took him by surprise. Her walls crumbled and she broke down. She grabbed his t-shirt and sobbed. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as close as he dared with the stab wound.
"I thought you had moved on somewhere but I never really accepted that you were gone. I always thought I'd find you again. I never could keep a relationship going for long. As soon as it started to get serious, you would pop up in my mind. I felt like I was cheating on you," he said.
"I wanna hate you," she cried.
"I know you do," he said. "I'm so sorry for everything you went through. I'm sorry that I wasn't there as promised. I tried, baby, I really did."
"I loved you," she said.
"Please, don't use past tense," he started crying too. "I know you still love me, just like I still love you."
She didn't say anything. Her sobs slowly went down until there were only a few sniffles left, and then she went silent. She kept holding on to his t-shirt while curling up against him. He held on to her and listened to her fall asleep. All these years he had searched for her but in the end she had been the one finding him. He knew he still mattered to her.