"Hey, uh… Do you maybe want to come over tonight?" Kara asked shyly, after they'd spent the afternoon goofing off in the library, rather than studying.

Kara couldn't understand where all her confidence went in front of Lena, and Lena couldn't understand how she was able to let go of the reins for a while around Kara. Neither were used to the dynamic. The playfulness. The good-natured bickering. The… flirtatiousness?

Lena laughed and replied, "You think I'd want to spend time with you?"

Kara blinked, confused by the sudden change in tune, until Lena put her hand over Kara's and chuckled, "I'm kidding, Four Eyes. Yeah, I'll come over for a bit. I just have to let my mom know that I'm… staying late at school to study."

Lena winked – actually winked – causing Kara to gape at her before asking, "You're going to lie to your mother so you can hang out with me?"

"Why not?" Lena questioned with a shrug. "Do you have any idea how boring my life is outside of school? I literally sit around doing homework or writing in my diary."

Nearly reaching up to cover her mouth in regret of the confession about her diary, Lena bit her lip and began to blush.

"You have a diary?" Kara asked, sounding surprised.

"Shut up," Lena snapped. "Don't say a word."

"That's so cool. I'd kill to see what Miss Lena Luthor writes in that book. I'm sure it's in a fire-proof safe with a combination lock, though," Kara chuckled.

"Actually, it's only activated by my fingerprint…"

Kara smirked and replied, "Of course. How did I not know?"

Shrugging, Lena asked, "We going or what?"

"Lead the way, Princess," Kara offered, then immediately regretted her words.

"Don't. Call. Me. That," Lena barked. "Ever."

Raising an eyebrow, Kara replied, "Okay. Sorry."

But something in Lena's stomach was turning, twisting… erupting. Princess. She felt as if she might faint.

She stayed silent until they got to Kara's house, where Lena reversed the car into the driveway and hesitated before turning off the engine, leaving accessories on to keep the music playing.

"What's the matter?" Kara asked, concern in her voice.

It wasn't like Lena to be quiet.

"I was just… wondering…"

"Yeah?"

"Do you maybe want to like… open the sunroof and look at the stars?"

Staring blankly, Kara replied, "Lena… It's freezing outside."

"I know, but… we're bundled, and… you know… music."

Kara considered this, hesitating, and protested half-heartedly, "I don't want you to get cold."

"Then bring me inside for hot chocolate after."

"You like hot chocolate?"

"Of course, silly. I'm human, after all."

Kara bit her lip and looked away, mumbling. "Okay. Maybe for a little bit."

Leaning the seat back, Lena relaxed in the driver's seat until Kara followed suit.

"Kara," Lena said suddenly, after a long bout of silence.

"Yeah?" Kara asked, turning her head to look at Lena instead of the stars.

"Isn't it beautiful?"

"Y-Yeah… D-Definitely," Kara stammered, unable to admit that the beauty she was staring at was actually Lena herself.

"What's the matter?" the brunette asked, hearing the girl's stutter.

"N-Nothing. It's just… cold."

"Do you want to go inside?"

"Not yet."

"Are you sure?"

"Shh. I like this song," Kara teased, turning up the volume.

"Do you know every single song I have?" Lena laughed. "You're ridiculously good with music."

"Probably, yeah. And so are you."

With a grin, Lena gave Kara's shoulder a playful shove and retorted, "And so modest."

In return, Kara teased, "Yeah, yeah. Look who's talking."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lena snapped.

"It means you're not modest either, smartass."

Lena shrugged and admitted, "I put up a good front."

Brow furrowing, Kara looked concerned by the implications of what Lena had just said. Her confidence was all a façade? How could that be? Lena was the most self-assured person Kara knew. But Kara knew all about façades.

"Lena…" Kara whispered, committing to five seconds of bravery and putting her hand on the girl's forearm.

"Don't."

"Lena."

"Drop it. Forget I said that."

"You don't… You don't have to put up a front with me, you know."

Biting her lip reflexively, Lena found herself staring into Kara's piercing blue eyes, causing her heart rate to jump.

"I—" Lena tried to protest, but felt the sharp, newly familiar pain in her chest as her heart raced.

"Lena?" Kara asked, sitting up in her seat when she saw the look of pain on the girl's face.

Lena said nothing, but Kara could see her breaths becoming shallowed and labored. She knew what was coming.

"Hey," Kara said quickly. "You're okay. You're okay."

"K-Kara," Lena whimpered, groping for Kara's hand.

Eyes wide with shock, Kara allowed Lena to hold her hand and returned the grip, though not as firmly. Luckily for Kara, her super strength prevented her from feeling like her bones were going to break. Lena was squeezing hard, and Kara could tell she was scared. On instinct, she leaned over slightly and stroked Lena's hair back, as it had fallen in her eyes upon sitting up.

"K-Ka—"

"Shh. Lena," Kara whispered, giving Lena's hand a firmer squeeze. "I've got you. Breathe for me."

"I c-can't," Lena panted.

"Yes, you can, Lena. Come on, honey. In slowly. One… two… three…"

Had Lena not been in a state of shock and panic, she might have noticed that Kara's strategy and Supergirl's were one in the same.

"Kara," Lena sobbed, feeling the terrified, angry tears of frustration roll down her cheeks. "I'm s-sor—"

"Shh," Kara cooed. "I'm right here. It'll pass. Remember the footsteps?"

The brunette hesitated before nodding.

"Good girl. Put all of those things in the footprints. Let them wash away, okay?"

Lena started to breathe – really breathe – and squeezed her eyes shut as Kara continued to stroke her hair back without really noticing what she was doing.

"See?" Kara said softly. "All gone."

After a few more gasping breaths, Lena's heart began to slow, and she lifted her watch to check the beats per minute. 75. Not low enough, but far from dangerous. When she opened her eyes and found Kara nearly leaning over her and really began to feel the pressure of the girl's fingers in her hair, Lena's heart began to sputter, its irregular beat returning after only a short break. Before it could get out of control again, she squeezed her eyes shut tightly.

"You okay?" Kara asked gently, letting her free hand drop to her side.

It was then that they both realized they were both still holding hands.

Lena let go, and Kara felt a loss.

"I'm… I'm fine," Lena lied, opening her eyes again but this time avoiding Kara's gaze. "I should go."

"What?" Kara asked. "But…"

"I gotta go, Kara."

"Are you cold? We can go inside and get—"

"Kara. I need to go."

"Did I… Did I do something wrong?" Kara asked, biting down hard on her lower lip to keep herself from crying at the sudden cold shoulder.

Hardly, Lena was thinking. You're just too fucking perfect for me to stand.

"I have to go," was all Lena could manage, a broken, half-hearted mantra.

Kara, giving up her protest in favor of respecting Lena's wishes, nodded her head and got out of the car, grabbed her things from the back seat, and said, "Thank you. Have a good night, Lena. Take care of yourself."

Why does she always have to say that? Lena wondered, feeling flustered as she peeled out of the driveway and sped home.

Kara couldn't bring herself to go inside as she watched the car tear down the street in the snow.

"Be safe, Lena," she sighed to herself, rubbing her temples. "I'm sorry."

Not wanting Alex to see her cry, Kara sat down on the front steps and let the tears out, feeling completely alone and thoroughly confused.

~!~!~

Lying in bed that night, Lena could only feel Kara's phantom touch on her hand, hair, and forehead. Something about it was comforting, and something else about it burned. The burning won out, and Lena only knew one way to stop it, so she dug through her nightstand for the razors and let herself feel something different.

That kind of pain, Lena reasoned, was far better than the confusion she felt while living her reality.

~!~!~

Two days passed with Lena virtually ignoring Kara, and Kara felt it more deeply than she'd felt anything else. Confusion and pain coursed through her veins, distracting her from all of her classes and studies. She failed two tests without much thought. In that state, she couldn't have cared less. Wanting answers but knowing she'd get none from Lena, Kara spent her breaks between classes crying in the bathroom.

What did I do? Kara wanted to know, as she sat in the bathroom stall with her head in her hands, crying silently. What is fucking wrong with me? I shouldn't have touched her. I should have left it alone. I should've—

But she was torn from her self-deprecating thoughts by the sound of someone else crying. Gasping for air. No… Not crying… Sobbing. There was only one person Kara knew who sounded like that when they cried, and Kara knew the sound all too well, because she hated it. Hated the sound of that misery. Hated knowing the girl was hurt.

"L-Lena?" Kara asked in a hushed whisper.

Shocked, but too shaken to speak, Lena continued to cry. A moment later, Kara heard a louder gasp, but this one sounded different. It sounded like… pain.

"Lena," Kara pressed, wiping her own eyes on her sleeve. "Are you okay?" Silence. "Look… Lena… You don't have to talk to me. You don't have to explain why you hate me, okay? Just tell me if you're—"

Lena let out a gasp.

Knowing something was wrong, but not knowing what, Kara stood up and burst out of the stall.

"Lena, let me in," Kara begged. When the girl in the stall continued to sob, Kara raised her voice and said, "Lena! Unlock the door."

Hesitating only briefly, Lena reached out with a shaking hand and opened the door.

Kara jerked it open as soon as she heard the sound of the metal latch turning, finding Lena with her pants down, panties still on, bleeding from her thigh, with a razor in her hand.

"Lena!" Kara cried. "Oh, fuck."

Dropping to her knees in front of Lena, Kara grabbed a wad of toilet paper and pressed it to the girl's wound. "Hold this," Kara said quickly, pressing Lena's hand over the paper.

But Lena didn't. She let the paper fall to the floor.

"Lena," Kara choked out, her voice cracking as tears filled her eyes. "Please."

Then, Kara noticed her swaying on the toilet. She was dizzy. Looking down, Kara noticed how much blood had dripped into the porcelain bowl, making the water a deep shade of red, and it was still gushing from the wound.

"Oh, God, Lena…" Kara breathed, feeling her heart stop. "Come on. We've gotta get you to the hospital."

Vigorously shaking her head, Lena shoved Kara, but Kara didn't budge. Not waiting for consent, Kara dragged Lena to her feet, jerked her pants up – letting the blood soak her jeans – and carried her out of the bathroom, bridal style. Just as Supergirl had done.

Kara wanted nothing more than to change into her super suit and fly Lena there, but she knew that would blow her cover and wasn't possible, so she called an ambulance and nearly had a panic attack herself as she waited.

"Come on, come on, come on," Kara breathed, sitting on the front steps of the school as they waited, holding Lena against her body.

By then, Lena's blood was pouring down her leg, and she was fading enough that she was unresponsive. She'd lost too much blood.

Please, don't let her have hit an artery, Kara silently begged.

Even with her X-ray vision, she couldn't quite tell with all the blood. Two minutes later, the ambulance arrived.

"I'm going with her, Kara said firmly, when the paramedic tried to take Lena from her.

"I'm afraid not, Miss," the man said, shaking his head. "We'll take it from here."

"Like hell you will," Kara growled, pushing him aside with a little more strength than she'd intended and loading Lena into the ambulance herself.

The paramedics were far too surprised by the girl's forwardness and persistence to protest further, so they went quiet and allowed Kara to sit next to the stretcher, holding Lena's hand the whole way.

Kara followed the paramedics into the emergency room when they arrived at the hospital, refusing to leave Lena's side. It took them a while to patch her up, but eventually, they stopped the bleeding and stabilized her enough to give her a blood transfusion.

"She'll be okay," the doctor said. "But visiting hours are over. She'll need to stay for monitoring overnight. We're putting her on a 24 hour suicide watch."

"I'm not leaving," Kara asserted.

"We called her mother. She is aware, and she'll be here to pick her up tomorrow night."

"I'm. Not. Leaving," Kara said sternly.

Too annoyed by the girl's stubbornness to argue further, the doctor and the nurse beside him agreed to let her stay.

Kara spent the night awake, sitting beside Lena in a chair that she pulled close enough to hold Lena's hand. She couldn't stop thinking about the doctor's words: 'suicide watch.' Well… Kara stayed up almost the whole night. Around the time the sun rose, her head dropped to the bed, unintentionally resting on top of the hand Kara was holding and fell asleep. Lena woke shortly after, confused at first, but eyes going wide as soon as she saw Kara's golden hair covering her face.

"K-Kara," Lena stammered, her mouth dry from lack of drinking water for the past 12 hours.

The blonde didn't respond, so Lena bit her lip and shyly brushed the girl's hair from her face. Her features were soft and glowing in the early morning light, and it made Lena's stomach turn.

"Kara," she repeated, with a little more conviction.

"Nnng," Kara moaned, scrunching her face in protest as she finally felt the sting of the sun in her eyes. "W-What the—"

But she quickly realized where she was and remembered what had happened, immediately woken by this epiphany.

"Lena!" she cried, upon sitting up. "You're okay!"

Lena's mouth fell open. Kara had brought her to the hospital. Had probably saved her from bleeding out. Had… had protected her from herself. And no one – no one – had ever been able to do that before. Lena had always been her own worst enemy. Now, she was realizing that Kara seemed to be her only ally.

"I…" Lena tried, but trailed off when she realized that Kara was crying.

Really, truly crying. Crying hard. In fact, her cheeks were soaked in a brief moment, and soon, Lena felt Kara's tears dripping onto their hands, which were still joined. Briefly torn from her disbelief of Kara's tears, Lena stared down at their hands. Kara hadn't let go all night, and there was a slight indent from where Kara's face had rested while she slept.

"Kara," Lena finally breathed, when she recognized that Kara couldn't seem to stop crying. "Kara, it's okay."

"But you—"

"Shh. It's okay. I'm okay."

"You're not okay!" Kara screamed, far louder than she'd intended.

"Hey," Lena said sternly. "Easy. You're going to wake the other patients."

"I don't care," Kara barked defiantly. "You're not okay, and we both know it."

"Kara…"

"No, Lena. You're not okay. You need to get—"

"Don't you fucking say 'help.' Don't. Fucking. Say it."

Kara's mouth fell open as she stared at Lena's face, noting the anger that was building there to accompany the sharp tone she'd suddenly adopted.

"You know what, Lena?" Kara finally snapped. "I'll say whatever the hell I want. You. Need. To. Get. Help. This can't happen again. You could've—"

"Fuck you," Lena spat. "I'm fine."

"No. No, you're not. And I'm not going to sit here and let you do this."

"It's not your choice!" Lena cried. "It's my life!"

"You sound like a child!" Kara shouted back. Then, realizing that she was conveying anger, rather than her actual feelings of fear, terror, and concern, Kara softened her tone and told the girl, "Please. Please, let me find someone to help. Please. You don't have to do this alone."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't," Kara challenged. "You're not getting rid of me. You don't have to talk to me. You don't have to like me. You just have to know that I'm here. And that I'll always be here. I'm not going to leave you alone, Lena. You can leave me, but I won't do the same to you."

Lena felt herself choking on something. On… what, though? Air? No… She was choking on her feelings. Choking on her self-loathing. Choking on Kara's dedication and acts of kindness.

"Okay. Fine," Lena said coldly, finally gathering her Luthor strength. "Then I want you to leave this room and not come back. We're not friends. We're nothing."

It was Kara's turn to feel her throat tighten and close up on her, locking the words she wanted to say deep inside.

I love you, she thought. Please, don't make me go.

But Kara couldn't say it. Couldn't speak the words. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't talk. Couldn't function.

All she could do was to get up, leave the room, and collapse in the hallway, sobbing, leaving Lena to do the same.