Chapter 2: Hogsmeade
Today is Saturday October 30th, the first Hogsmeade trip of the year, and I'm currently sitting on one of the bottom steps in the entrance hall, waiting for Lupin to show up so we can go textbook shopping. It's so ironic how a year ago I was waiting in this exact place for another Marauder, however, then I was excited and dressed to impress in my favourite, Stevie Nicks inspired bohemian dress and heeled boots. Today, I am in my extremely worn jeans, trainers and my favourite, oversized Montrose Magpie sweatshirt, and instead of feeling excited I am feeling dread and anger – anger because just a minute ago Matty O'Reilly passed me with Jessica Johnston from Ravenclaw hanging off his arm, obviously it didn't taken him long to find another date after I told him I couldn't go a few days ago.
As I was waiting, Marlene came down the steps from Gryffindor tower and sat next to me, I presume to wait for Uma to make her way up from the dungeons.
"Morning Lo, how you feeling today?" she asked, I could sense that she was slightly cautious in her questioning and looked weirdly nervous – I could tell she was hiding something from me.
"Never better," I replied sarcastically, but I didn't want to talk about me so I put the attention on her, "Okay, what are you not telling me? You know your face shows everything."
Marlene sighed, "I can never get anything past you. Alright, don't be mad, but I may be going on a date with Sirius today." She mumbled the last half of her sentence quickly in hopes that I wouldn't hear, but I did. I know why Marlene was nervous to tell me this, its no secret that I've proclaimed my dislike for the Marauders, but I would never hold that over my friend's happiness, and I know that her and Black have had a flirty friendship for quite a few years now. I never even suspected that she liked him, I thought it was all just a bit of fun, but maybe there is something more there that I didn't realise.
"That's great Mar, I didn't realise you liked him that way," I said cheerfully – not wanting to get her down with my bad mood – and gave her a reassuring smile.
"Really? I thought you would hate me for this?" She asked confused.
"I could never hate you, and I won't let my dislike for certain individuals get in the way of my being happy for your happiness," I explained truthfully.
"Oh thank god," she gushed, relieved, and pulled me into a massive hug. "I love you Lo, and I know you're not having a great time at the moment but I'm sure you'll be back to normal soon as," she finished as she squeezed me tight, and I laughed at her relief and reassurance – I really didn't know where I would be without Mar, or Uma. Speaking of…
"So who's Uma going to Hogsmeade with? I thought you two were going together?" I questioned.
"Oh, she's already gone, went early with Melissa Greengrass to buy new materials I think? We're gonna meet up later at The Three Broomsticks around 2:00, do you think you'll have finished your date with Remus by then?" she teased, to which I gave her my hardest death glare (which honestly, I don't think could kill because it only made her laugh more).
"It's not a date. I would rather take a shot of Firewhisky to the eye then call this a date. Hell, I need a shot of Firewhisky to get through this, I don't know why but I'm filled with nerves about this," I told Marlene.
"Maybe its cus you loovee him!" she sang, but upon seeing my second death glare she decided to take me a bit more seriously. "Okay, why are you nervous?"
"I haven't spent any time with these boys since last year, and second to Potter I got along with Lupin the most. I remembered how sweet and clever he was, especially after you reminded me, but he seemed so angry at me the other day when we had our first session. As we're going to have to spend so much time together, I don't want him to hate me," I explained, and then whispered, "and I don't want him to find out about my condition either." Marlene nodded soberly in understanding.
I had told Marlene and Uma about my condition in second year, after I had an extremely sudden and violent nosebleed which sent me to the hospital wing. They've been so supportive and understanding of my condition, they've helped me to come up with excuses to tell our classmates when I've had an episode (usually something like we were trying a beauty charm which went wrong) and have taken notes for me and brought me pumpkin pasties when I've been in the hospital wing. Luckily, this hasn't happened too often, only about five times over the last four years.
Just as Marlene opened her mouth to say something, she was interrupted by the sound of footsteps and lots of chatter coming from the stairs she had ascended just five minutes ago, and we looked round to see Lily Evans and Mary MacDonald, followed by the Marauders (I mentally rolled my eyes at this, but didn't let it show).
"There she is, the woman of my dreams," proclaimed Sirius in an over-the-top, dramatic manner as he saw Marlene, to which she blushed. My god, she must really like him, I have never in my life before known Marlene to blush before; but then suddenly she was back to normal, she snorted and punched his arm at his dramatics, accompanied with an, "oh, shut up."
"Right, see you lads later," Sirius said to the Marauders, before offering his arm to Marlene with a "M'lady." She laughed and linked arms and waved me a quick goodbye before they set off. Then it was just me, Lupin, Potter and Pettigrew standing silently, and quite awkwardly, in the hall.
"I've got to catch up with Mary, homework. Come on Peter," mumbled Potter quickly, averting his eyes from me, grabbing Pettigrew's arm and walking off in the same direction that Sirius, Marlene, Lily and Mary had gone.
"And then there were two," I said, looking at Lupin.
"Yep," he answered, somewhat uncomfortably, "should we get going?"
"Yep," I echoed back, and we fell into awkward silence as we walked out of the entrance hall and onto the path which led to the Hogsmeade. By the time we got to the Hogwarts Gates, which is 15 minutes from the entrance hall and 40 minutes to the wizarding village, I am starting to think of how this silence is unbearable. Is this what it is going to be like all the time? Fuck it, it wasn't Lupin who used me, and it was probably all Black's idea. I'm going to have to make amends.
"This is stupid – "
"I need to say something – "
We both said at the same time. I laughed a bit at our coincidence and noticed that he was smiling slightly as well.
"You go first," I said with a smile, trying to come across as friendly, "you said you needed to say something?"
"Yes," and he let out a nervous sigh. "I'm sorry about last year. You were my friend and I had a part in hurting you, and I've been mad at myself for losing your friendship because you're really cool, Marlowe. You actually have good music taste and the same sense of humour as I do, and even if you are a bit too quidditch obsessed and slightly moody sometimes, I miss spending time with you," he unloaded, "and Uma and Marlene as well, all of us together," he added, and looked expectantly at me. Well, that came as a surprise.
"I was just going to say how stupid this was, I forgive you Remus" I laughed, and a bit of colour came back to his face along with a smile, "but that doesn't mean I'm 100% okay with the others still, I know you won't admit it but they had more to do with that plan then you did, didn't they?" I questioned. He didn't answer but his face said it all, he was just like Marlene, and all Gryffindors really, they can be read like a book.
"Especially with you tutoring me now, I think it would be best if we forgive and forget between the two of us, try to go back to being friends again," I finished. "Okay, enough with all this soppy crap, how amazing is Night at the Opera by Queen? I mean Bohemian Rhapsody changed my life!"
Remus laughed at my sudden change in subject, "I have to agree with you, it was life-changing stuff. Does your sister still only listen to ABBA?"
"Yes! It drives me insane, like, yes the have one or two catchy songs, but you don't have to listen to them on repeat all. The. Time. It's like she thinks they're the only band in the world!"
"But what about when you listened to Fleetwood Mac on repeat for about a year?" he laughed.
"That's different, all they're music is amazing," I quickly replied back. We carried on talking about music till we made it to the end of Hogsmeade where Tomes and Scrolls was. Remus is a half-blood, so he listens to a lot of muggle music when he is home because both of his parents prefer it to wizarding music, and as the rest of both our friendship groups are purebloods we only ever really had each other to talk about muggle things with.
"Okay, book buying time. I'm still confused as to how you forgot to buy your textbooks this summer?" Remus questioned.
"I only went to Diagon Alley twice over the summer, and it completely slipped my mind," I lied. I was pretty sure Remus could see straight through it, but he didn't push any further.
"I'm not going to lie I was quite surprised when McGonagall asked me to tutor you. I always thought that you were quite good at Transfiguration," he told me sincerely.
"Quite good is an exaggeration, I've always been mediocre, same as in all my classes. I guess it got harder and it discouraged me," I said with a shrug. This wasn't a complete lie; I was finding OWL year difficult. I hoped that this would stop Remus's line of questioning about my lowering grades, but he persisted once more.
"Are you struggling in all your classes?"
I wanted to lie again and move the subject on as I was starting to get embarrassed and wanted to hide my secret, but looking at his face I saw that he meant well, so I decided to tell the truth (or at least part of it).
"Basically, yes. There's no lying I've had a drop in motivation and that this is a consequence of that, but in the classes where I was already not great I'm now getting really poor grades," I explained, looking down at the floor, ashamed.
"Hey, look at me," Remus said softly, I looked up and noticed he was now standing quite close and giving me a kind, understanding look. "I know that once grades drop, it can be really hard, but you are so smart Marlowe, and I don't think you realise how smart you are."
I shook my head in silent disagreement. I had never been smart. Sure, I was okay at guessing deaths in Divination and I had a knack for History of Magic and Astronomy – but these were all soft subjects, and even then I was nowhere near being the top of the class. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Remus, I'm going to fail this year," I said silently, tears welling up in my eyes, "there's no way I can pass now." My voice was basically a whisper, I didn't want any of the other students in here to see me – the enthusiastic quidditch commentator – crying over her grades.
"No, you will pass. We will get you to pass," he said, determinedly. "Okay, which classes are you slipping in?" he asked.
"Umm, Transfiguration, Charms, Defence and Potions," I listed, slightly confused.
"Okay, we're going to buy everything you need in here to pass, and then instead of once a week we'll meet twice and work on all of these subjects. I'm going to make sure you pass this year, Marlowe," he said resolutely.
"Shit, are you sure? I don't want to waste your time," I protested, although I hoped he was sure, because at this point I really needed this help.
"Yes, I'm sure, and anyway it will also help me as studying by going over the material again," he explained logically.
"Holy fuck, thank you so much!" I said with relief and pulled him into a quick hug. He laughed from my sudden actions, though when I let him go I swear I saw him blushing.
"Okay, now let's buy books," he said, and we got on with buying my now much longer shopping list of books.
It was around 1:35 when we finished our shopping, and we were both starving – who knew shopping for books could be that tiring.
"I'm gonna head to The Three Broomsticks now, I'm meeting Marlene and Uma there. How about you?" I asked Remus.
"I think I might be meeting Sirius there as well, want to head there together?"
"Sounds good, I think we might be there a bit early as well so we can get some food to fill us after all that shopping," I laughed, but then something just beyond Remus made my laughter die out. He turned to see what I was looking at, which was Matty O'Reilly and Jessica Johnston sucking each other's faces off in the window of Madam Puddifoots.
"Ah, I'm sorry about that," Remus said softly.
"No, don't be. Good riddance. Actually, I'm glad its rather her than me, I would hate to even step foot in that place. Obviously they're the better match," I said in an upbeat manner, trying to make myself feel better.
"I agree, Madam Puddifoots is way too pink and fluffy for my liking," said Remus as he held the door to The Three Broomsticks open for, to which I laughed in agreement. It was quite busy in the pub as it was just around lunch time, but luckily a group of Slytherins in the year below were leaving from their place in a booth at the back, so we quickly stole the seats.
"Okay, you stay here, I'll go get us some butterbeer and pumpkin pasties," I said. Remus opened his mouth to protest, but I got in first, "Of course I'm not going to let you pay, you're helping me out so much. Let me treat you," I demanded.
"Okay, you can treat me," he said. I smiled, satisfied, and went to order our food and drinks from Madam Rosmerta. When I got back, we sunk into a comfortable conversation about everything we had missed out on over the past year of not talking – our families, the holidays, our friends – and I was so involved in the conversation that I didn't notice Marlene and Black until that sat down in our booth on either side of us.
"Oh, hey Mar," I greeted her warmly, "Black," I greeted Sirius, with a slightly less friendly tone.
"Hey Valentine," he answered back, joyfully.
"It's Valentin," I bit back, and he smiled. Basically everyone who didn't call me Lo called me Valentine, and I did actually like the nickname – but as it came from Black it ruffled me up the wrong way.
"Play nice," Marlene scolded, but with a playful undertone.
"I am playing nice!" Sirius exclaimed in defence, with his hand going over his heart. I may not be his biggest fan at the moment, but I do find his over-the-top dramatics quite funny sometimes.
"You never play nice," came a cheerful voice from behind me, and I turned to see Potter next to our table with Pettigrew, and beyond them I could see Uma entering the pub.
"Look, there's Uma," I said to Marlene, making my way to get my bag to leave, but I was stopped in my tracks by Potter's hollering.
"Hey Uma, we're over here!"
Oh great, we're going to have a third-year reunion. I think Remus could tell I wasn't too happy about this from my expression, because he gave me a reassuring smile which said he knew how I felt, and I smiled back.
"Hi everyone," Uma sang when she reached us, and dumped a massive bag of fabric rolls onto the floor. She was met with a chorus of hello's from our table.
"You know what, Uma, Lo and I will go get the drinks. Hand over your money boys," Marlene asserted, standing up, giving me the eye when all the boys went into their pockets to fish out a few sickles.
As Marlene and I stood up and slid out of the booth, Pettigrew slid in where I had been, and Potter sat down on the other side of Sirius. When we walked up to the bar, I started to try and make conversation with Uma.
"So, tell me about what fabrics you got," I asked, but then the two girls looked at me and I could tell that we wouldn't be talking about fabrics when we got our drinks.
"No way, we're not talking about my boring fabric buys. Why are you looking so friendly with Remus? I saw it as soon as I walked in," Uma asked.
"Why are you asking about me? Mar's the one who went on a date," I diverted.
"Her and Sirius's flirtationship is old news – no offense Mar."
"None taken."
"But you and Remus talking is, you hate the Marauders," Uma finished off, and Marlene nodded in agreement.
"Okay, I never said I hated them, I strongly dislike them," I started, "and Remus and I decided to forgive and forget as he's my tutor now, so we're back to being friends," I explained matter-of-factly.
"Not more than friends?" Uma pushed, with a smirk on her face.
"No! Not more than friends, just friends. Anyway, I do actually want to know how your date went Mar?" I diverted, and this time it worked.
"It was great, we went to Zonko's, and then to the Quidditch shop and Honeydukes, where he bought me the biggest bag of fizzing whizbees, and afterwards we walked up to that spot where you can see the Shrieking Shack – you know I love scary things – and he kissed me!" she said the last part in an uncharacteristic girly squeal, and Uma and I too squawked with delight for her happiness.
"So, are you guys official now or what?" I questioned.
"We're dating, but we're not boyfriend and girlfriend yet," she answered.
"So does this mean we're going to go back to spending time with the boys again?" Uma asked, trying to supress the sound of excitement. She hasn't said it outright, but I know she missed spending time with the Marauder's as well – the boys in Slytherin were too serious for her liking (especially Snape) so she always did prefer spending time with their cheerful group.
"If Lo's okay with it, then probably yes?" Marlene asked. We had just gotten our seven butterbeers so they paused to get my answer before we went back over.
"Like I said to you this morning, I don't want to get in the way of your happiness. After talking with Remus today, I want to try and forgive the others too. It may take a while, but for now I'll be civil," I told the girls, to which they smiled and thanked me.
As we got to the table, the boys were in a deep, quiet discussion which they quickly broke out of when we put the butterbeers on the table. Potter stood up to let Marlene slide in next to Sirius, then Uma on the end next to Potter, and I took the space opposite her next to Pettigrew.
"So, now that we find our two groups joined, yet again, I would like to invite you two fine ladies to the Gyffindor Halloween party tomorrow night," Sirius proposed to Uma and me.
"I don't know," Uma started nervously, "It is a Sunday night, if I get caught I could lose my Prefect position."
"Fuck it, I have no Prefect badge and I never miss an opportunity to drink, count me in," I said enthusiastically. It won't be that bad, I thought to myself, Gryffindor parties were usually quite large, so its not like I'd have to spend the whole night around them. "Come on, Uma, I'll make sure you get back to Slytherin with no one finding you out," I offered to her.
"Fine, you've convinced me," she said with a smile. Satisfied, I took a swig of my butterbeer.
In doing this, however, I didn't see the worried look that was quickly exchanged Marlene and Uma.