Chapter Two
Jaskier dropped down beside the fire as unhappily as he could manage, he dropped his bag beside himself as unhappily as he could manage. He huffed as loudly and unhappily as he could manage.
"I don't think that Jaskier is very happy with you," Ciri told Geralt happily who winced at the truth in her words. Jaskier had been making it clear all day that he was not happy.
Ciri, Jaskier had learnt was a little shit when she wanted to be and liked winding Geralt up. He was liking the kid more and more. She had a mischievous streak in her and a shine in her eyes. She was clever and quick-tongued, able to keep up with him. Through the day she had told him her story and what her life had been like since she met with Geralt.
Even though she liked to wind the Witcher up, it was clear that she was rapidly coming to love him and see him as a parental figure. He made her feel safe and secure despite the fact that they were still out and on the road.
It was ironic really. The thing that had made Geralt run from her, the thing that had always made him convinced that he should not have people around him, his scary attitude, his power, strength and deadliness as a Witcher was one of the things that made Ciri love him, because she knew as well as Jaskier that the only time that power and strength would ever be used around them, would be to protect them.
He huffed and scowled at Geralt at that thought. He did not want to be having positive thoughts about the Witcher right now.
"I am going to wash up," He said standing and grabbing his wash bag from within his pack. "ALONE!" He said sharply when Geralt went to stand with him. One more scowl and he turned to storm off.
"He needs time alone to think about whatever it is that you told him that pissed him off," Ciri explained to Geralt like he were a little child.
"Don't swear," Geralt grunted. And Jaskier nearly walked into a tree at that. He sounded...he sounded like a dad. He had been watching them over the last couple of days, he could not bloody miss the two of them. He had seen how they interacted with each other, he had watched Geralt looking after Ciri, but this was...he was her parental figure.
His mind and stomach soured as he imagined Yennifer in the mother position. Ciri had told Jaskier that she had a magic of some sort, mainly when she screamed, something that Geralt had already told her she got from her mother, the image of her mother's impressive powers were still fresh in Jaskier's memory.
Yennifer would be the perfect mother for her, she would be able to teach her to control her magic and be there for her to be the mother figure that she had lost not once but twice now. At least Yennifer was a lot harder to kill, Ciri was not likely to have to go through that hurt again.
Happy families happily ever after. And apparently from what little Geralt had told him before Ciri woke his lifespan was bound to Geralt's through the Djinn's wish. And they had no idea how long a Witcher could live for. Geralt had once told him that his mentor Vesemir was around 350 years old and still going strong.
Jaskier sunk into the cold water of the river after stripping off and closed his eyes as he dunked himself under, his mind spinning. He had no clue why Geralt would make that wish, or what it meant. He had no clue what was going to happen from here.
He had wondered for a while at the fact that he did not seem to be ageing, of course, he had, he was not stupid. He had been 18 when he met Geralt in that Tavern, he was 41 now and did not look a day over 28. He had wondered if something more questionable had gotten onto him during one of The Witcher's commissions that he had followed him on, or a curse of something like that. But he had cheerfully put it to the back of his mind as something that he was being silly about and had just put it down to proof of his really good moisturising routine.
Now it seemed he had Geralt to thank for that.
He lifted himself out the water and sucked in a deep breath of air, brushing the water from his eyes as he sighed heavily.
It seemed he was bound to Geralt even more than he thought. What that meant, and why Geralt had made that bloody wish Jaskier had no idea, and he would have no idea until Ciri went to sleep. Because he refused to speak about it in front of the little girl, guessing that he would have a lot of serious words with the man who had barely taken those yellow catlike eyes from him all day.
"Jaskier, you smell amazing!" Ciri gasped as he sat down next to her. "Have you washed your hair? What did you use in it?" She asked sniffing the air in a way that was far too like Geralt.
"I used some of these, why don't you borrow them and go clean up before the water gets cold, and while you two are gone I will cook the dinner?" He suggested holding his bag out the Ciri.
"I know how particular you are about your smelly things, you don't have to…"
"He is so uncouth sometimes isn't he. Thank you for allowing me to borrow your toiletries Jaskier, I will look after them I promise," Ciri tutted before grasping Geralt's hand and leading him away, leaving Jaskier chuckling loudly at the telling off.
Jaskier blinked when they returned nearly half an hour later, and Geralt was also scrubbed clean and dring off. His wet hair was up on some sort of bun that had Jaskier's heart threatening to do something very dangerous. Going by the lack of scowl on his face that bath had not been Ciri's idea, but Geralt's himself.
"Thank you Jaskier, that feels much better," Ciri beamed.
"There is nothing like a bath to make you feel better is there. And to make things even better supper is ready,"
"Food!" Ciri cheered.
"Do not eat it too quickly Ciri, you will make yourself ill. There is plenty of it," Jaskier scolded gently when she fell upon her meat like a starving wolf. He recognised the actions of those of someone who had had to know what it was like to go without food, and he knew that you had to be reminded sometimes that food was not scarce.
She looked at him with her big green eyes before grinning sheepishly at him and slowed down her chomping, the Bard ignored that he could see Geralt doing the same on the other side of Ciri.
Their meal was filled by Ciri's chatter, telling Jaskier more of their adventures.
Once upon a time, Jaskier would have filled the silence, but he found that he had no desire for words right now, no desire for words to Geralt, not with what lay between them still there especially.
"Time for bed Ciri," Geralt said after the light had well set.
"But…"
"Geralt and I need to talk, privately, and it is late," Jaskier smiled softly at her.
"Promise that you will be here when I wake in the morning, and I shall go to bed," She said with the air of the Princess that she was, sticking her little nose into the air and staring at him with frightened eyes. He was a little shocked that she was so worried about him leaving, today was the first day that they had really spoken.
"I promise that I shall not leave without saying goodbye to you," Jaskier smiled. The little girl narrowed her eyes at him before throwing herself at him in a tight hug he reciprocated automatically, before hugging her little warm body closer, burying his nose into her sweet-smelling hair.
"Goodnight Jaskier," She smiled.
"Goodnight sweetheart," He smiled warmly back kissing her forehead.
"Come on you," Geralt grabbed Ciri under her arms and scooped her up causing her to giggle happily as she was carried to her tent. The laughter made Jaskier smile as he listened to her giggling calm down and then the low, familiar rumbles of Geralt's voice as he clearly helped her get settled into the tent.
Jaskier had a horrific realisation that Geralt was tucking her in, and once again his traitorous heart decided to dance a jig to one of of his faster rhythms. He would be worried that he was having a heart attack but apparently that was something that he was not likely to suffer from within his lifetime.
Thanks to Geralt.
It had to be nearly twenty minutes later when Geralt stepped out of the tent, looking as though he were walking into his execution in a way that Jaskier had never seen on his face before. Even when facing the worst of monsters, he wasn't sure whether he should be offended or not.
He sat opposite Jaskier and then the two of them just stared at each other. Jaskier had been dying to talk to Geralt about this all day, and shout a little, so it was probably good that Ciri was only a few feet away and neither of them wanted to disturb her. But the problem was his mind was still spinning and he could not decide what he wanted to say, ask or know. A million things had come into his head throughout the day and he had not been able to figure out which one he wanted to ask first.
"Are you angry at me?" Geralt finally asked dropping his gaze to the fire.
"For the wish, no I am mainly just confused with that, about the mountain, yes I am," Jaskier sighed. "Why did you make that wish Geralt, what exactly did you wish for?"
"All I could think was how lonely Yennifer was, how desperate she was to have something attached to her, someone to care for and to care for her…"
Jaskier resisted the urge to grit his teeth. Bloody Yennifer, everything was about her in their relationship since that bloody Djinn! "So, you wished for her to always be in your life because you had fallen for her already, and you decided you wanted me there still to sing the love songs of your happily ever after?"
"Wha…." Geralt looked so confused that Jaskier would have laughed if the anger wasn't welling through him. "Well congratulations Geralt you are nearly there with her, you have the child she so desires right there, I am sure the three of you will live happily ever after together, one happy little family! But I am sorry I refuse to follow you around writing your love songs. You gave me an extended life, wonderful, I will spend it leaving you alone!" Jaskier lunged to his feet and moved to his horse, starting to pack his things away.
"You promised you wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to her!" Geralt said quickly, his yellow eyes wide with what Jaskier thought was something akin to panic in them.
"I intend to go in and say goodbye to her!" Jaskier snapped.
"I don't know what I said wrong, I say all the wrong things to you, and I don't know how to fix it! My brain and my mouth don't connect and I just blurt it out! It used to be ok because you seemed to understand what I was trying to say, but then you started getting angry and I just got even worse and I don't know how to fix it Jaskier!" Geralt snarled punching a tree that groaned ominously.
"Shhhh you will wake Ciri!" Jaskier hissed and the two of them glanced nervously toward her tent, but a soft snore told them that she had slept through it.
"I didn't think princess' snored," Jaskier said absently.
"She had a cold the other month and it sounded like a dragon was sleeping in her tent," Geralt sighed his shoulders slumping. "I am sorry, I won't stop you," The Witchers shoulders were slumped, defeated, as he walked back to drop in front of the fire, taking all the wind out of Jaskier's sails.
"I don't want to hear about Yennifer right now Geralt, I want to know why you made that wish," Jaskier said not stepping away from his horse.
"I didn't want to be like her," Geralt answered without turning. "And I realised at that moment I wasn't because I had someone like that in my life, but I realised how human you were at the same time Jaskier, you were so frighteningly, delicately, fragile and human. You have such a big character and are so full of life, over the years I forgot you were human in some way. And then you nearly died if Ye….if you hadn't been healed you would have died. And I just, couldn't…"
"Geralt," Jaskier stepped closer at the raw pain in Geralt's voice. He knew that the Witcher cared for him, he knew that, he had seen the way that Geralt had been determined that he would get him healed during that whole incident, it hadn't been an option that Jaskier would die, Geralt had been so sure that Jaskier hadn't even really panicked.
"My wish, it was there, and I needed to make it, I had to make it quickly, and I was scanning my brain and...and...and I could not stop myself. I wanted Yennifer to be in my life…" Geralt grabbed Jaskier when he went to step away, a scowl forming and angry words boiling on his tongue "but I wished that I would not lose you to your mortality, I wished that I would not lose you to the ages and the ravages of time, I wished that I did not have to watch you grow old, and dim and...and flicker out like a flame, I wished to bind my life force to you,"
Jaskier stared up at Geralt wide eyed. Geralt had always seemed so much bigger than him with his extra muscles, and it seemed even more right now as Geralt gripped the tops of his arms and seemed to surround him.
"What did you do?" Jaskier breathed out.
"I shared it. My life force with you. However, long I have, whatever power keeps me going, is halved and shared with you. I think like me you will still be able to be killed, but it will be harder. Since then I noticed that you heal much quicker, and cut less easily, you don't get sick hardly ever anymore. I consulted the books at Kaer Morhen you haven't taken on any of the traits or manners of a Witcher, I made sure,"
"That is why you were so weird right after, and the summer we met up after everything. You kept trying to check all my different scenes!" Jaskier accused remembering how weird Geralt had been. He had actually wondered at one point if the Witcher had picked bad herbs to make his potions.
"Yes," Geralt nodded and stood looking at Jaskier clearly waiting for his angry reaction.
"Why can life never be simple," Jaskier sighed dropping down back next to the fire.
"What can I do to make it better? To make you forgive me," Geralt asked dropping down beside Jaskier, but with enough space between them that he was clearly respecting Jaskier's personal space.
"You know in my songs when I sing about a point of no return Geralt?"
"Was that the moment on the mountain?" Geralt asked waiting for the blow.
"No, it is right now," Cornflower blue eyes looked up into cat slitted yellow.
"Ok," Geralt nodded and waited, aware of both their hearts thundering loudly in his ears.
"I need the truth right now Geralt, no matter what, I need the truth, otherwise…" The threat was left unspoken, the words did not need to be said, the two of them could feel the trembling and strained bond between them, being held together only by their determination and the strength of their bond.
"Ok,"
"What is it you feel for me Geralt, everything, I need to know, I need to understand where I stand in your life. I am so confused," Jaskier whispered, embarrassingly aware of his trembling hands, at least until two large, warm, ungloved hands reached out and covered them.
Geralt's eyes were uncertain and hopeful, but waiting for Jaskier to shove him away again, and Jaskier wanted to, ok no, a part of him wanted to, but the bigger part of him wanted and needed the comfort. It might be the last he was allowed to take from Geralt for a very long lifetime.
"I am not good with words," Geralt glared at him when he snorted but there was no heat to it, rather a glimmer of amusement. "But...I have been alone for a long time. Jaskier, the last person that I trusted who wasn't a Witcher was my mother, and I still don't know why she gave me to Vesmir, even though she knew what could happen during the Witcher turnings. I was only a little boy, but I remember the cart ride, being excited to be going somewhere with her, and then her just leaving me...then Vesemir carrying me, holding me close,"
Geralt paused and Jaskier felt no need to fill the silence, though he did shift his hands so he was able to close his fingers over Geralt's larger, sword roughened ones. Geralt squeezed back gently before looking down at the floor.
"I had to trust Vesemir, I would not have survived if I did not. He became like a father to me. My brother Witchers, I trust but we barely spend any time together, it is supposed to be a solitary life. And that was the way I wanted it. The few times that I thought to make an attachment with someone, who I am, what I am, scared them away eventually, they saw me for a Monster and they ran from me. I waited for you to do the same thing, to see me, properly see me, and run...but you didn't,"
"Because you are not a monster," Jaskier huffed.
"No one else has seen that Jaskier. I….I was scared, for the first time in a long time I was scared, I was scared that I would lose you, that you would finally see me, and I would be left alone having finally gotten used to having someone around, someone who bound my wounds and defended me, someone who cared enough to try so hard to change my image and actually succeeded. And the loneliness would be so much worse,"
Jaskier actually felt guilty imagining what the last ten years had been like for Geralt. The loneliness had been bad enough for himself, he had filled it with friends and travelling companions, but the loneliness had always been like a blade through his heart, none of them had been Geralt.
"I pushed you away because…." Geralt drew to a stop and grimaced in a way that Jaskier had seen only that one time when Geralt had taken a potion one of his Brother Witcher's had suggested he make and had spent the next 4 hours drinking enough water to drown an elephant.
"What is it?" Jaskier frowned concerned looking around them.
"I need to mention her," Geralt grimaced harder.
"Go on," Jaskier snorted feeling amused even despite the flash of annoyance that he felt, Geralt had taken his words so seriously that he looked pained at having to bring her up now.
"Her, saying that she wanted nothing to do with me. It hurt," Geralt tightened his hands over Jaskier's as though he had heard the bile rising into his throat. He really hoped that he hadn't. "And then you showed up, and I imagined you saying the same things...and how much more it would hurt, and so I pushed you away before you could finally tire of me, or see that I was not worthy of you,"
"Worthy of me?" Jaskier frowned.
"I made the wish for your lifespan to be expanded because I wanted you to spend it with me!" Geralt rushed out, looking up and meeting Jaskier's eyes.
"As your friend?" Jaskier asked, his mind spinning and feeling exhausted.
"As my mate, I don't want happily ever after with Yennifer, she was an option because she was safe, she was as broken and damaged as I was and would never want more than the weird friendship that we have. I want happily ever after to be with you, I want you to write your songs about us! I want to be your happily ever after!"
Jaskier sat and stared at Geralt, completely lost and shocked at what he had just heard.
"I dreamt and thought...I imagined but I didn't...I didn't think I would ever hear you say something like that," Jaskier said softly, nearly a whisper knowing that Geralt would hear him anyway, despite the fact his words were aimed at the floor between his legs, his head feeling light and spinning.
"Jaskier?"
"I can't just forget the way you hurt me Geralt, not just like that, not just because of what you have told me," Jaskier said, and then looked up as he tightened his hands when Geralt tried to pull away. The Witcher could easily have ripped his hands from Jaskier's had he so wished, he allowed Jaskier to carry on holding them.
"I am sor…"
"Shhh enough of that Geralt," Jaskier shook his head smiling softly at Geralt. "I can forgive you, and with time and proof that you won't do something like that again, I can forget, but it will take time and work,"
"I can be patient, I will prove it to you, make sure that you know what you mean to me. I will never speak to you like that again!" Geralt promised, looking so hopeful that the Bard could not have stopped the smile that formed even if he had tried.
"I just don't understand Yennifer, you and her fit, you match, we chased her for years," Jaskier could not help the thread of discomfort that went through him, the thud his heart made at the memory of the times that he had had to watch the two of them together.
"I will never see her again if that is what you want," Geralt swore.
"That isn't what I want," Jaskier clenched his eyes shut. "I just...you love her,"
"As a friend, I love you as a mate. I was scared for what she would end up doing to herself if she carried on on the path that she seemed to be. Magic is a dangerous and shaky thing to naturally possess. A few of my Witcher brothers who found the path lonely, who grew tired and fed up, who desired for things that they were not going to be allowed to have, it drove them mad, it drove them to things that were...monstrous. It took three of us working together to bring one of them down, to put him down. She has too much good in her, is meant for something bigger than that ending,"
"And the sex?" Jaskier grimaced. This felt like poking salt into his own wounds.
"Because I thought that I could not have the person that I wanted, and I did not deserve to dirty him and bring him down to my level, so I took comfort from someone as damaged as me. I spoke mostly about you to her,"
"I don't think I really wanted to know that," Jaskier grimaced.
"Sorry," Geralt scowled at the fire as though it had the answer to his questions.
He started when Jaskier's hands slipped from his, but as he turned in fear, those hands cupped his face instead, thumbs running underneath the eyes that marked him as a monster to most of humanity, but Jaskier only stared lovingly into.
"No others, for either of us. If we give this a go, there is no one else!" Jaskier warned.
"Agreed," Geralt growled, his sharp canine teeth flashing at the thought of someone else touching Jaskier.
"I…"
Jaskier gasped when Geralt pushed his luck and leant forward to press their lips together. The kiss was so soft and gentle, tender and careful, as though Geralt was holding the most precious thing in his world in his hands.
Jaskier had little doubt that placing his heart into Geralt's hand would ensure that it would be treated the same way.
"Have you reached your quota for speaking?" Jaskier whispered against Geralt's lips who knew how long later. His lips kiss swollen and pleasantly bruised.
"I will keep talking if you want," Geralt meant it, he knew.
"No, I want to go to bed," Jaskier shook his head. Geralt pulled back a little and looked as much like a kicked puppy as he possibly could, namely his mouth and eyes turned down slightly and a small frown formed. Most would probably think that he was about to murder them. Jaskier knew that he was pouting at him. "Room for another bedroll in there?"
"Yes!" Geralt nodded quickly.
"So, why exactly did you choose to share with Ciri tonight?" Jaskier asked curiously as they made quick work of settling their camp for the night, old and well-formed habit making the work quick and easy, He chose not to comment on the fact that his bedroll was under Geralt's arm the whole time as though he were worried his Bard would change his mind.
"I thought that this would go really badly, that you would tell me you would never see me again. I thought I would need the comfort of her being near. We share tents sometimes, mostly we set up two but she will have a bad dream and want to sleep in my tent,"
Geralt was a single parent Jaskier realised with faint amusement, sharing with a potential new partner the reality of life with a child and what they could expect, waiting for them to change their mind.
"I guess we will have to make sure to have some clothes on after sex then, just in case," Jaskier grinned kissing Geralt sweetly before going towards the tent, leaving Geralt to hurry after them.
They stripped down to a comfortable layer of sleeping clothes outside the tent so that they did not wake Ciri, and then after a few lingering touches and sweet, lingering kisses, they finally made it inside and got settled into the tent. Geralt being a gentleman and laying out Jaskier's bedroll for him and making sure it was comfy before he knelt back and shuffled onto his own.
Jaskier's head was spinning as he made himself comfortable in his bedroll, everything with the placement of that bedroll becoming shockingly real.
"Is everything ok? Your heart is beating too fast," Geralt frowned, concerned and lifting his head from his bedroll.
"I am just happy," Jaskier said, and Geralt obviously read the truth in his face because he smiled at him, that heartbreaking boyish smile that told anyone that saw it that the whole 'I have no emotions' thing was a load of bull. That smile that he reserved only for so few people that when you were on the receiving end of it, you could not help but feel blessed.
Geralt reached out and waited, though not for long, Jaskier quickly slid their fingers together, and before he could reconsider pressed the back of Geralt's hand to his lips. The awed expression was better than Jskier could ever have imagined, and he had quite the imagination and made him determined to show Geralt what a precious thing he was to him too. He deserved to know that he was a treasure to Jaskier.
Between them, Ciri suddenly let out one loud snore, and the two of them had to stifle their chuckles as they settled down for sleep, their joined hands resting on Ciri's back where she was sprawled between them on her front snoring like a dragon.
Geralt had placed Jaskier so he was on the other side of Ciri, the little girl safe between them. They had years...and years and decades and possibly centuries...ahead of them to sleep next to each other in each other's arms. But this...this said everything to Jaksier that Geralt had been trying to tell him outside.
They still had work to do, and they had a long way to go to be better than they were. And he knew when Yennifer next came across their pathway he would need Geralt to be by his side and calm the Bard's insecurities when it came to his relationship with the Witch. But they would get there, Jaskier was sure. Because that bond that he had feared was torn and stretched was not, it was strong and bright between them, glowing and binding them together, always, they would always find each other. It may have been frayed a little, but not even the strongest of magics could sever it.
He was Geralt's happy ending, him and Ciri. Jaskier was getting his happy ending, the one he had not allowed himself to wish and hope for except for in the darkest of nights. He wanted a child with Geralt, he wanted a happy family with Geralt.
He wanted Happily Ever After with Geralt.
And he pitied anyone that tried to come between their little family and that ending because he knew in his heart of hearts and right down to his soul that they would all fight tooth and nail for each other.
A Witcher, a Princess and a Bard.
Roach snorted lightly to herself outside the tent as she made herself more comfortable, her people safe within the fabric tent they were sleeping under this night.
Finally.