GODS U AM TERRIBLE!!! SORRY FOR LEAVING FOR SO LONG, I'M TRYING TO GET THE CHAPTERS ROLLING SO PLEASE STICK WITH ME!
~IZUKU~
I ran...
and I ran...
I could feel my heart pulsating in my chest.
The rush of my blood inside my veins, under my skin.
An aching pain in my head and body, as well as a burning urge to release my pent up frustration.
I kept running, and running, until I made my way into the room.
Eyes darting in my direction, I kept my face to the floor.
I couldn't face anyone... I wouldn't face anyone.
I could feel the darkness welling up inside, I enjoyed it... More than I feared it.
I couldn't do anything and, why would have I wanted to?
Well, It's true that I can't hurt anyone, regardless of how badly I want to... The aching wouldn't go away.
I walked over to a corner and sat down, hiding my head from all to see in my hands.
I heard light footsteps approaching me then comming to a halt.
"Izuku?"
It was Uraraka.
"What is it?" I mumbled, still hiding my head.
"You... um..." She shuddered.
I lifted my head just enough so I could look at her, she jumped slightly.
"Umm... You're, how do I put this..?" She fumbled with her hands, "Just look around already!"
That caught me off gaurd and I shot my head up, everyone was looking at me. I looked down at my hands and a heavy weighted truth fell on me...
"Uraraka..." I felt tears in my eyes, "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..."
She jumped, "No- No... I- Its okay!"
"No! No, it's not!" I got onto my feet, "I'm freaking everyone out..."
I sighed and relaxed myself, the shadows receding and my horns vanished.
"I wasn't going to hurt anyone..." I sighed, "I just needed to release some pent up energy... I'm sorry if I startled anyone..."
I looked at her for a moment, "Uraraka?"
"Yeah?" She replied.
"I think everyone would be safer if I just disa-" I couldn't even finish speaking before a hand slapped my across the face.
"Don't even say such a thing!" She screamed, "It doesn't matter, because you're not a threat! You're our friend!"
"Stop trying to make me feel better!" I yelled, "You don't know anything, so how can you say I'm not a threat!?"
"Izuku, calm down!" She pleaded, "Stop getting so worked up."
"No!" I huffed, "You don't know the hell I've been going through, not even half of it... And you can somehow say I'm not a threat?"
"You're right!" She cried, "I don't know, I wish I did... I can't even help you because I don't know how to! Still, I know you're-"
"No..." My blood began to boil.
I can't take this...
"Wait... what?" She questioned.
You're wrong about me...
"No," I repeated, feeling my blood beneath my skin.
I want it...
"What are you saying Izuku?" She asked, taken back by my responses.
I- I need it...
My breathing began to hasten.
"I'm far from being a good person..." I sighed with a slight chuckle, "You don't know what's going on in my head..."
My heart was pounding, I felt as if it was going to burst.
It hurts...
"I can't agree with you, because I believe you are," She told me, and I snapped.
"How can I be a good person if it's taking all I have just to hold myself back from-!!!" I stopped when I ended up grabbing her, "From-"
I looked her in the eyes, she was terrified, I could feel her trembling in my grasp.
I let go and stepped away from her, "Damn it! What am I doing!?"
"Izuku..." I heard the unease in her voice, "You're alright."
Just shut up!
"No I'm not!" My head began to pound, "Just stay away from me! I don't want-"
I stopped.
"Izuku..." She saddened.
"I don't want- I dont-..." I couldn't say it, because it wasn't true, "I can't lie about this... I can't..."
"Izuku what is it?" She asked me, worrying.
I looked her in the eyes, noticing everyone behind her was listening too, "I um..." I looked at the ground and held my eyes closed, "I know I shouldn't... I know it's wrong but..."
~URARAKA~
What is going on with Izuku?
He stopped speaking and I felt something from him. Fear crept it's way back into my body.
Almost if lacking any emotion, a cold and demonic voice resonated from Izuku's lips, "I want to make you suffer..."
A jolt of fear in my chest, cold sweat down my forehead, I stepped backwards as the shadows formed slowly around Izuku's body.
"I can't help myself Uraraka..." He looked up at me, the look in his eyes sent chills down my spine, "But even with how badly I'm craving that sensation... No matter how much pain it's causing me..."
The shadows calmed from the rage they were in, to light twirling and the emotion returned to his eyes, "I'm not going to hurt you... Even if I want to... I see you as my friends, you trust me... some how. I just... Im sorry!"
I didn't know how to respond to him, he just looked me in the eyes and turned away.
"The thing is..." He sighed, I could hear the pain in his voice, "I'm not sure how long I can last..."
He placed his head in his hands, "Even so, I don't want to lose everything!" He yelled in sadness, "I just want to live a normal life! But I'm only hurting the people I care about!"
"Izuku, I know I can't understand what it is you're going through but," I tried to comfort him, "We all know you're trying your best. Even if you mess up from time to time, we only want to help you. But we can't, not if you don't let us."
"I... I just don't know..." he cried, "I don't who I am anymore!"
Collapsed to the floor he hid his head in his arms, "I don't belong here!"
Everyone around him remained silent, none of us knew how to respond... how to help.
"Don't say that..." I muttered.
"You know it's true!" I yelled, "You're afraid of me, just admit it!" He hid his head in his arms as ther bent over on the floor.
"It's taking all I have to hold myself back..." He shuddered, "I couldn't live with myself if I hurt anyone here."
I wasn't being compleatly honest with him, or myself.
He picked himself up off the floor and looked at me, "You know I didn't want to hurt you, more than anyone you know," He paused, "But you don't know what it feels like to me..."
"Izuku..." I tried to speak but choked on my words.
He faced the ground, "I know I should feel disgust, or afraid even, but... I love it..." His breaths sounded sharp, "I love to see people suffer, just the thought of it makes me crave it... I should feel sick, but I only feel pleasure and desire... I hate to say it but, Kacchan is right, I can't control myself... my feelings..."
He looked up from the ground, his eyes glowing red and black. Tears running down his cheeks, "The urge is growing inside me, it hurts..."
"I don't know how much more I can take."