CHAPTER THREE: THE RECKONING

I truly appreciate all the thoughtful and interesting reviews from so many of you. I hope you find this chapter answers more of your questions about what happens as Matt finds more excuses to not face Kitty with his indiscretion and get over his feelings of guilt. He has been bailed out so far but it won't last.

When I awakened I heard Kitty talking to Doc. She was asking if my injuries to my head the night before had created any more problems. She also mentioned that Festus had told her I had a bad night. Thankfully she didn't know that it had taken me a long time to get to sleep after my talk with Doc.

I knew he was right I had to talk frankly with Kitty, but I didn't know how to even begin the conversation. After all Arizona was a long way away, so what were the odds she would even meet Mike? There would be plenty of time to ease into that discussion. I wouldn't lie to her, but I felt like I needed to get back into a routine before we got into such a deep discussion.

Her footsteps headed toward the back room and I was pretending to just awaken. Her smile warmed my heart as she looked at me so tenderly. Sitting down in the chair next to mine I remember her asking softly, "how are you feeling this morning Cowboy?"

It seemed as if I tried to smile as I admitted I was feeling kind of stiff and sore.

She smiled at me and told me I had quite a black eye and it was pretty puffy.

I put my hand to my eye and immediately winced. She told me not to make it worse.

"what happened to my assailants?" I asked her.

"As far as I know Festus and Newly took them to the jail. Captain Scott took his Private back to the fort. The cowboy is still in jail," she explained.

At that point I tried to sit up and get out of bed. I had to sit down again as the room tilted a little. Kitty was up out of the chair sitting next to me in a second with her arm around me.

I looked into those sparkling blue eyes and suddenly was leaning down and kissing her. Her arm came up around my neck. Her lips were so sweet, and I realized how much I had missed that taste.

As she pressed against me the pain in my face made me pull back. There was a stunned look on her face. I reached for her hand and said, "it isn't you it was the soreness in my face."

She let out a long breath and relaxed a little, then began, "Matt I…."

"Ssshhh…." I told her taking her hands. "I know you wouldn't try to hurt me."

I thought it looked like tears were ready to fall but she swallowed hard. Getting up she told me to rest a little more. She would come back and see me later.

I felt a little guilty that I had acted sorer than I was, but I couldn't give into my feelings until I was sure what I was going to do and how I would tell her about my latest journey.

At this point sleep was the last thing I wanted to do but I wasn't ready to confront the problem of how to start this conversation with Kitty. I had the feeling no matter how I framed it she would be shocked and upset. I did realize the longer I put it off the more difficult it would be to explain my behavior.

Little did I know that forces I could not control would create circumstances that would delay any confrontation and when it did come it was nothing I could have even imagined.

Doc left sometime in the late afternoon to await the arrival of the fifth baby boy for the MacGregor family who lived about four miles out of town. He took Kitty with him as she had become the only nurse he had available.

Sometime that evening after a visit from Newly and Festus, who let me know they let the cowboy loose since I wasn't pressing charges, I fell asleep again. It was to the sound of the fire bell that I awoke suddenly. Without thinking I climbed into my clothes and headed for the crowd around MacGregor's feed and grain.

A stiff wind was whipping around us that made the conditions ripe for more wooden buildings to go up in flames. The stables were next door and men were busy getting the horses out after wrapping cloths around their eyes. Burke, who ran the freight office, had left to get John Macgregor.

After what seemed like hours, the fire was out, and we could survey the damage. The grain store was completed destroyed, part of the stables was damaged and there was also damage to the roof and one wall of the saddlery shop. So much destruction among those embers

I looked at Newly, Festus, Burke, Sam, and Louie and we were all filthy. Doc who had come back to town with John MacGregor, having left Kitty with his wife and newest son, was tending to any injured workers. We were told Delmonico's was open and had food and coffee waiting for everyone. I was so dirty I hated to go in, but I sure could use a cup of coffee.

We were all exhausted and little by little men drifted off home after agreeing to meet once the fire had cooled enough to see about rebuilding the damaged buildings. Just as Doc wandered in my deputies were on their way to get cleaned up. He told me I looked awful and I was sure I did. He also informed me Hank took John home and was bringing Kitty back to Dodge. Then he suggested maybe she had a place I could get cleaned up.

I gave him a dirty look and headed for my office. Once I got there, I tried washing off the dirt and soot. I wasn't doing a very good job and knew I needed a good bath but there were a whole lot of people ahead of me. It was at this point that Kitty walked through the door looking as tired as I felt.

"You look awful," she told me. Then she took my hand and led me toward the back door explaining Sam was getting her bathtub ready for her. She would take a quick bath as I was too dirty for us to bathe together. I would have protested but I knew she wasn't taking no for an answer and why would I object given our relationship.

As we climbed the back stairs in broad daylight, she squeezed my hand and told me she missed me. I could truthfully tell her I had missed her also. True to her word she hurried through her toilette and soon I was sliding into the still hot water and feeling my sore muscles relaxing.

Wrapped in her pink silk robe she leaned against the door looking at me as I turned the clear water a darkish brown. She grinned at me and told me once again, "you clean up very well marshal."

I had to grin at her as her flame colored curls touched her shoulders. She was one beautiful woman with her cornflower blue eyes and alabaster skin. Then she turned and looking over her shoulder said she would be waiting for me in the bedroom.

When I got to our bed she was wearing a new nightgown that was barely there. it brought memories of wisps of cloth I had helped her remove on other occasions. I could see she was half-asleep as I slipped in beside her. She looked up at me with love and trust in her eyes and I immediately felt nervous and guilty. How could I cheat on this caring loving woman?

As I hesitated, she held out a hand to me and there was no way I could turn away from this lady-love of my life. I lay down beside her and gathered her in my arms. I began by kissing her hair that now smelled of lavender. My hands moved instinctively – over her velvet-soft skin refamiliarizing me with its charms. My eyes closed all by themselves and then I was soon sleeping with Kitty in my arms as close as I could hold her.

I awakened to velvety lips kissing my jaw. I looked up at a beautiful female grinning at me. The sun was high in the sky. She said, "I guess we were both pretty tired Cowboy."

As I smoothed her blazing red hair back from her face, I leaned down and kissed her nose. I said something like we had a pretty rough couple of days, and she agreed. My eye had turned an awful color of brownish yellow and she touched it tenderly. All her concern was for how I was feeling. That made me feel even worse that I hadn't yet explained everything to her

Once I reassured her I was feeling better, just a little sore, she began kissing me. I wrapped my arms around the body that was so familiar to my touch. Her lips tasted a little salty and I wondered if she had been crying. When I asked if she was alright she said she was just so happy to be back in our bed together.

This incredible woman didn't deserve to be treated badly in any way, but just how did I begin this conversation? Something was wrong, I should be concentrating on the woman in my arms and yet I couldn't seem to get the guilt I felt over my encounter with Mike out of my mind. She was touching me in all those intimate places, and something was very very wrong. My body was not responding.

I pulled her in as close as I could and ran my hands down to her full heaving breasts and still no reaction. Kitty was pressed against me and moving gently against me but still nothing. I began to panic, What was wrong with me? I don't mean to brag, but this had never happened even in my very first youthful encounters. If she was aware something was wrong she didn't seem to be concerned. What should I do now?

When I moaned she was immediately worried. When she asked if it was my head again, like a coward I took the opportunity to lie that I felt dizzy. Before I could say another word she was up and throwing on clothes saying she was going for Doc. I tried to stop her, but she was adamant.