Chapter 9

Queen Cosmetics turns out be a long and narrow yet rather homely looking salon, owned and run by a tiny blonde girl named Historia, who Levi senses is positively relieved to see them.

Between the Sat-Nav in Levi's car being deemed useless due to roadworks in the middle of the morning rush and Eren's absolutely appalling navigation skills, they ended up arriving almost an hour late with Eren practically sprinting out of the car, across the busy road while cars honk at him from all directions, and bursting through the door.

"Sorry…'storia… traffic…. awful…." Eren manages to heave out while clutching at his chest and gesturing wildly at the window as Levi finally catches up with him, letting himself into the salon a little less dramatically.

Historia visibly relaxes and lets out a sigh of relief, her face immediately brightening. Levi had seen her rushing around almost as frantically as Eren had been from all the way outside.

"It's alright Eren, but you do have a couple of people waiting, luckily for you they don't mind hanging around." She says with a pointed look, whilst brushing the hair of her own client and facing towards a large beauty mirror, "I've already set up Ms Kraus at your station, no need to thank me."

"You, Historia, are a Goddess!" Eren exclaims, as he bends down to give her a quick peck on the side of her head.

"Yeah, yeah, get to work now!" She says as she bats him away playfully with the hairbrush she's holding. Eren scurries off to the end of the room, where he greets his client with a warm smile and an apology for the wait. Historia is still shaking her head in amusement when she looks at Levi through the mirror.

"Hello there! You must be Levi." She says, beaming at him, "I've set up a chair next to Eren's workstation, so you can make yourself comfortable over there. If you need anything at all, just holler!"

"Thank you, ma'am. I will make sure to remember that." Levi nods politely and makes his way over to Eren. Historia giggles softly and Levi can see her blushing from one of the mirrors. As he reaches where Eren is situated, he takes the time to look at Historia properly.

She is short in height, thankfully shorter than him, and petite in build. Her hair is tied back in a low ponytail, but he can see her periodically blowing loose tendrils from out of her pretty face as she works. She wears an almost see-through, floral blouse with long sleeves and billowing white skirt that gives her an angelic look as she swishes around from side to side. Radiant is not a word that comes up often in Levi's vocabulary, but right now, it's the only word that comes to mind.

Eren looks up from his task of making Ms Kraus, a thirty-something divorcee with two young children, look sexy and sophisticated for her office party tonight, and notices Levi checking out his boss. He chuckles and continues exfoliating his client's skin with a little sponge.

"Never gonna happen my friend." Eren says, giving Levi a knowing smirk as he catches his eye. Levi is caught off guard for a split second before he straightens up.

"Well first, you're not my friend, you're a pest. And second, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." Levi states haughtily. Eren simply grins cheekily at him.

"I don't know, what do you think Mila? Think I should cut him some slack for his completely obvious leering at my friend?" Eren asks his client, who giggles before responding "I think you probably should, if I looked like her, I wouldn't mind getting a little attention from attractive men once in a while."

"Tch, I want no part of this conversation." Levi scowls and takes his seat, as Ms Kraus struggles to contain her amusement of his offended expression at their teasing. Eren ignores him completely.

"You might not mind Mila, but I'm pretty sure a certain somebody's wife definitely would." Eren says conspiratorially.

"Should my ears be burning right now, Eren?" Historia calls over to him, now curling her client's freshly brushed hair.

"Not at all, love." Eren answers back with a sly smirk, "Just telling Levi and Ms Kraus here all about the time you and I used to date."

"Wait, seriously?!" Levi's ears prick up and Ms Kraus looks like she's just been given the best gossip she's heard all year, even Historia's client and the women in the waiting area stop what they're doing to listen intently.

Historia rolls her eyes before elaborating, "For the millionth time, we were NOT dating. Back when neither of us were out, we used to be each other's cover story. So, whenever I was staying with Ymir, I would tell my parents I was with Eren so they wouldn't get too suspicious. And when his parents would question about him about why he didn't have a girlfriend yet, he would say he and I were seeing each other but weren't official. It made for a few awkward family dinners and some hand holding in the school grounds, but that's about as far as it went."

"Well, that's not completely true." Eren insists, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"I swear, I will set Ymir on you and it won't be pretty." She threatens, pointing her curling iron in his direction.

Eren raises his palms in mock surrender and continues with his work, and everyone else continues on as normal. Levi, however, is rather taken aback. How can everybody just carry on as before after hearing something like that? Why do they not find it weird? The very idea that a young man and woman would pretend to be together when in actual fact they much prefer to be with someone of their own sex, how can a rational person think something like that is perfectly normal? Levi thinks…although he knows there was a time when he himself wouldn't even have bat an eyelid, he just didn't care…but he knows better now, his eyes were opened to the harsh realities…

Levi's face is burning, both from anger and from where it had been pressed against the scorching hot stove.

They came for him in the night, as they always do, and covered his head with a bag. Each time, he is unsure if he's going to make it back to his team alive.

Sometimes they torture him for hours on end. They don't seem to want answers, or bargains, they just want to watch him break, hear him scream, feel him sag in defeat.

Other times, he's left somewhere, his face still covered with no idea on where he is or if he's alone. But he listens to the screams of his comrades, the pleas for mercy as they call out for their loved ones, he can feel their pain, their agony…. And sometimes if their captors are feeling particularly "generous", they make him watch.

In the time he's been here, he's been beaten, bruised and had bones broken…and now he's been burned. Scarred by them for life.

But regardless of their marks he's now destined to wear, however long or short his remaining existence may be, it's not the burns that scar him. It's the sobs of the blond boy sprawled on his lap, curled in on himself, thrown on him once they'd done what they came to do.

Levi can't hold him, and the kid can't clutch on to him for support, they're bound and useless to the will of their captors, left to rot and decay in the four walls that surround them, their dignity ripped from them and left in tatters.

"I'll kill you." he seethes, teeth bared and staring at the particular man who'd caused such pain to the small boy whimpering against him, "I'll kill all of you fucking evil faggots, I swear it!"

"Levi!" Eren interrupts his thoughts, "I asked you what you think of Mila's lovely new look?"

Levi looks to Eren's client and can see that she's now sporting Eren's previously demonstrated "smoky eye" look, her face contoured to show off her sharp cheekbones and a soft colour staining her naturally pouty lips. She looks elegant, Levi notes, attractive even.

"Yes, very lovely indeed." Levi says, genuinely and pleasantly surprised by Eren's handiwork.

"Thank you." The woman says shyly, smiling to herself at the compliment.

"You'll knock him dead, Mila. Nicolas won't be able to take his eyes off you!" Eren assures her gently, as he leads her over to the front desk.

As they chatter away together, Levi is left confused and frustrated. His instincts are telling him that he should despise the younger man with ever fibre of his being. So why is he finding it so damn difficult to do so?

The rest of Eren's shift goes by pretty quickly, there are plenty of clients, but rather than making the day seem long as hell, they actually provide some rather decent conversation.

Some of Eren's regulars even make a passing remark about the "fine young man" keeping him company. He has to quickly confirm to them that the relationship is purely professional, both because Levi looks a little green whenever it's mentioned, and also because Eren's own track record with men is… well non-existent to be honest, and while it's never overly bothered him it does simply remind him of the fact he's very alone.

As Eren finishes up with his final client of the day, an elderly lady named Sylvia Schroeder and one of his favourite regulars, he is amused to find she is in deep conversation with Levi. And from what he can hear, it sounds like it involves something to do with stain removal, among other things related to cleaning products. Odd, he thinks, but Levi is not exactly like anyone he has ever met before.

Deciding to leave them to it, as he has no more clients to see and the salon doesn't formally close for another 20 minutes, he heads through to the staff area, where he finds Historia sitting at a table and counting out the tips for the day.

"Hey Eren!" she greets him cheerily, as usual "Somehow, even though you turned up late, you STILL managed to get more tips than me!" she pouts.

"What can I say? I'm a natural." He jokes, fanning himself with a dollar bill he'd picked up from the table.

"Honestly, I'm really gonna miss having you around when you leave." Historia smiles sadly. Eren takes a seat and holds her hand, "I'll miss you too sweetie, it'll be the end of an era! I've been here since you set up shop."

"I know, but you know I'm so happy for you right?" She reassures him, "You're going to be amazing."

"Thank you, but you know you could never get rid of me permanently right? I'll still see Ymir at the club, and no doubt you'll be there on occasion too. Plus, there's still Sunday dinner at Marco's! You're coming tonight right?" Eren asks.

"I'll be there. But Eren, there's something I need to talk to you about before we do anything else. It's important." She says, uncomfortably.

"What is it Historia?"

"I went to see my brother on Friday." She says, "In prison."

"Urklyn?" Eren asks, becoming visibly white, "Why? I thought you said wanted nothing more to do with him after what happened…"

"I don't, and he's never given me any reason to want to see him before, he's been quiet for so long. He refused to see anybody ever since he was sentenced, but I think when Frieda died last year, he realised how much he was missing out on."

"That's his own fault!" Eren snaps, taking his hand back from Historia's, trying to stop himself from shaking.

"I know Eren, but I went for Dirk's sake at the very least. He's 18 now. Dad hasn't wanted to see me since I married Ymir and I haven't seen my little sisters since they were little kids. So, when Dirk came and told me Urklyn had been asking for me to visit him…I couldn't say no."

"But what could he possibly want after all this time? Do you think he's gonna tell anyone about me? What if he tells Dirk? Nobody but you and Ymir know that I was there that night." Eren says, panicking and beginning to hyperventilate.

"Nobody else is gonna know. It's been well over four years Eren, if he was going to tell anyone he'd have done it by now. Dirk has no idea, all he knows is that you and Urklyn were friends back then, and even if he was told you'd be there that night, he was just a kid. He won't remember, nothing is going to happen to you, you did nothing wrong Eren!" Historia insists, grabbing his shaking shoulders with her small hands.

"But he doesn't know that you know, Historia. What if he's asked for you to visit him because he wants to tell you about me? He thought you were my girlfriend back then."

"Then I can give you an alibi. As far as I'm concerned, you were hanging out with me and Ymir that night, then you left to go straight to Jean and Marco's place. They would vouch for you, you WERE there, you'd just have to explain the blood…" Historia trails off as the front door to the store closes. Both she and Eren stand up automatically and make their way out of the staff room, Eren taking deep, calming breaths on the way.

Levi is now in the store by himself, sitting on his chair an holding some money.

"Mrs Schroeder had to leave just now, but she left this." He says, holding up the notes and giving them to Historia, who checks the amount.

"Uhh Eren…does your client always pay you $10 extra for her make up?" Historia asks, confused and re-counting.

"No, she never leaves more than five! Why would she do that? Could it have been an accident?" Eren asks, looking just as bewildered as Historia.

"Did she anything to you about leaving a tip Levi?" Historia asks.

"Well, she said something about how my tips on making home-made window cleaner deserved a tip of its own. But then she just left without saying anything…weird old Lady." Levi says in derision.

Both Eren and Historia stare at him for several long seconds before bursting into laughter, leaving Levi as clueless as ever.

Back at Eren's house, Eren is still laughing at Levi managing to get himself a $5 tip for entertaining an old lady, he hasn't shut up about it since they left the salon.

"Okay, I get it, can we drop the subject now? You literally get tipped for prancing around in a dress, how is that any less ridiculous?" Levi asks incredulously. Somehow, this just makes Eren laugh even harder.

"Levi, my sides! I beg you, please stop!" Eren says, clutching on to his kitchen worktop for support as Levi glares at him from behind a coffee mug, "But in all serious, I do not prance, thank you very much!"

"Whatever. Anyway, what's this thing you need to go to tonight?" Levi asks, draining his mug and placing it in the sink, resisting the overwhelming urge to scrub the mug clean along with every other dish that's been lying there for at least a day.

"Drag Dinner, it's a weekly tradition. We all get dressed up and go to Marco's house for a huge meal. Of course, these days it's just me and Marco that go in drag. Since Bertholdt was killed, Reiner still comes but he wears his own clothes. I don't think he's felt right about doing drag since, I'm not sure he ever will again if I'm honest. But regardless, it's tradition, and I'm not about to let it die." Eren says determined.

"So, who's all going to this thing?" Levi asks curiously.

"Well there's me obviously, Marco and Jean, Mikasa, Reiner, Historia and her wife Ymir. Ymir works at the club, you might have seen her the other night, she's security there, tall with freckles? Annie and her Fiance will be there, he's actually one of my best friends, he's back from work for a little while. Then there's Connie and Sasha, they work at the club too." Eren says.

Levi nods, "And what time do you want me to pick you up at?"

"Actually, I was thinking…maybe you'd want to come? Marco said I should ask you…seeing as you're going to be around from now on. And I guess I'd like for you to be there…." Eren says sheepishly, "I mean it's whatever, man."

Levi ponders the request for a while. A dinner with drag queens, at least two gay couples and a few others who he knows have at least batted for the other team would normally seem like his idea of hell. But looking at Eren's sad eyes, all big and multi-coloured, makes him want to throw all of his reservations out of the window and make the stupid brat stop looking so nervous. And if he's honest, Marco had been very welcoming when they met….and he had wanted to ask Sasha for her meatloaf recipe…and he probably should meet all of Eren's close friends, for intel purposes of course….

"Would it make you stop pouting if I said yes?" Levi asks with a smirk.

"Really? You'd come with me?!" Eren asks, hopeful and almost childlike.

"Tch, don't look so excited now. But I guess…"

"Great! You can help me figure out what to wear!" Eren decides before dragging Levi by the hand to his bedroom.

It takes Rogue surprisingly little time to get her make-up and hair sorted. She decides on a soft peach for her eyes, a pink for her lips to make her look young and girly, and her face contoured and highlighted to give her a natural feminine glow. Her wig is shoulder length, multi-tonal blonde with full bangs, straight but with baby pink highlights at the ends.

Her real struggle is to choose an outfit for the evening, she's stuck between a bright orange, sleeveless jumpsuit with black chunky heels, or a lacy, pink sundress that reaches mid-thigh with white stilettos.

Levi watches as she stresses herself out over which option to go with, just as she's about to settle on a decision, she questions herself and the process begins all over again. With a sigh, he decides to intervene.

"Look kid, all of this indecisiveness is not going to get you anywhere tonight, and quite frankly it's unnecessary. Why don't you go and put one of the outfits on and see how it looks?" Levi suggests helpfully for once, rather than his usual comment which up until now has been "It doesn't matter which one you choose, nobody is actually going to care."

Rogues agrees thoughtfully, picking up the pink dress and taking it to the bathroom with her. Levi mindlessly flicks through his phone, ignoring texts from Hange, and surprisingly there is a new one from Petra, asking him how he's doing and that she and Oluo wish him the best of luck with his move. He's about to respond when Rogue clears her throat to get his attention.

Levi looks up and his breath catches, the pink lace hugs her body in all the right areas, and it gives her a stylish gracefulness, but still manages to make her look like the young woman she is. He notices she has put in blue contact lenses again, so her eyes are no longer mismatched in colour.

He's about to tell her she looks lovely and that she should definitely wear this outfit tonight, when she starts to make silly faces and dumb poses in the mirror. It reminds him of another time, another place and with someone else entirely. He wants to stop the memory in its tracks, but it's too late…

The young woman with short, red, spiky hair looks at him through the mirror of his bedroom, with her tongue poking through her teeth and she laughs loudly at his annoyed expression.

"Come on Izzy, only you would be late for your own rehearsal dinner! I told you, the dress looks fine." Levi says, checking his watch and sighing.

"I don't want to look FINE, Levi. I'm not a kid anymore, I want to look hot!" she says, folding her arms and glaring at him.

He looks at her as she worries her bottom lip between her teeth, and he can almost forget that she's twenty-six years old, getting married and pregnant with her own child. She'll always be little to him, forever young in his head. But he can't deny that as she twirls around in her gold, floor-length gown, she looks like a fully-grown woman. He can't help but wish that she would stop growing so much.

"I can't tell you that you look hot Isabel, that would be too weird, even for me. But you do look absolutely beautiful, I promise you that." Levi says sincerely.

"I don't look too fat? I bought this a while ago, and obviously things have changed a little since then." She asks self-consciously.

"Don't be stupid, you're barely even three months gone, you're not even showing yet." He assures her.

"I can't believe you're going to miss the wedding Levi, Farlan and I would love it more than anything if you could be there. Farlan wanted you to be his best man!"

"I know Izzy, and I'm sorry. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. But duty calls I'm afraid. I can come tonight at least, and then I can come to Shiganshina in a couple months when you've properly moved in. I promise." He says.

"You better! I was hoping you'd meet someone at my wedding and that you'd fall in love, and get married…" She says, matter of fact, looking rather disappointed.

"Tch, who would want to marry my grumpy old ass Isabel, seriously?" He asks, laughing at her statement.

"Thirty isn't old Levi! And anyway, who wouldn't want to marry you? You're a catch!" Isabel insists.

"Yeah Isabel, anyone would be lucky to marry me, a thirty-year old clean freak who is gone for most of the year and yet to lose his virginity, a real catch I am." Levi deadpans.

Isabel shakes his head and embraces him, "Well no matter what you think about yourself Levi, I still think you are the best big brother in the world, and I love you so much."

Levi allows himself a secret smile and pats her head lovingly, "I love you too, both of you."

"Levi? Are you alright? You haven't said anything for a while."

Levi feels himself being pulled from his memory, leaving him rather dazed and feeling slightly vulnerable. He looks up to find Rogue looking at him from in front of her mirror, assessing him with a mixture of concern and uncertainty on her face.

"I'm fine." He says, "Ready to go? That dress suits you, you should wear that." Levi says, picking up his jacket and heading out of the bedroom.

"Oh….I um….changed, but okay." Rogue mutters, smoothing out the pantleg of her jumpsuit, and following Levi's lead all the way out to the car.

The drive to Jean and Marco's is tense and awkward to say the least, Rogue isn't sure if she's allowed to say anything, Levi hasn't said a word since leaving the house and eyes have been completely fixed to the road, not even glancing once in her direction. She decides to test the waters as they come closer to their destination.

"You doing okay there, handsome? You've been awfully quiet tonight." She asks hesitantly.

"Like I said at the house, I'm fine." He says, "But I've been thinking and it's probably best that you go to this dinner by yourself. I'll come by and pick you up later to take you home."

"Oh, well…I mean, if that's what you want then I guess…" Rogue says, trying not to sound too disappointed by Levi's change of heart.

They arrive at the house in no time at all, and Levi offers no form of goodbye, simply waiting for Rogue to vacate the car so that he can make a quick exit. Rogue doesn't take the bait and turns to him before she leaves.

"Did I do something wrong Levi? Everything was fine earlier today, and then you started acting weird. If I did something wrong…." Rogue attempts to say but is cut off.

"No Rogue, despite what you may think, not everything is actually about you." Levi says, glaring daggers directly at her.

"All I'm saying is that if I've done anything to make you uncomfortable…"

"Uncomfortable? Are you shitting me right now brat? Your whole existence makes me uncomfortable, or have I not made that clear up until now?! Look at you, you're a joke!" Levi yells at her, hands gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white.

"Fuck you Levi! You know, I actually thought we were getting somewhere, despite your obvious reservations. I thought we could have been friends!" Rogue says, her lip trembling slightly and her voice shaking as she tries to keep herself composed.

At the worst possible time, Maria exits the house and makes her way to the open passenger window of the car and sticks her head in.

"Hey guys! Why y'all sitting out here? The food and the party are inside! It's not exactly cold but I don't want y'all catching your death out here!" She says with a warm smile.

"Levi won't be joining us tonight, so it'll just be me." Rogue says, not quite making eye contact with Maria. Maria, however, doesn't get the hint and questions further.

"Aww, are you sure Levi? There's a plate here with your name on it, Sasha made more of her meatloaf that you loved so much!"

"Honestly Maria, I'm just feeling very tired right now, I would rather just go back to my room and come back to get Rogue later." Levi insists, but Maria is not ready to take no for an answer.

"If you're tired Levi, we've got a little room set up in the den, you're more than welcome…"

"What part of "no" don't you people understand?!" Levi roars, "You can never just leave people alone, no matter how much we say no or that we don't want it, you always have to just force yourself on us, don't you?! I want no part of your freakshow and that's the end of it! Rogue, just get out of the car and I'll come and get you later." He says firmly.

"Don't bother Levi! I'll be staying here tonight with my family!" Rogue argues, angry tears running down her face and streaking her once perfect make-up, and steps out of the car. Maria wraps her up in her arms quickly as they walk off in the direction of the house.

"Suit yourself!" He calls after her, before starting the car and speeding off, deliberately not looking behind him.

Rogue sobs openly and clings on to Maria like a vice, "I don't know what I did to make him so angry! I thought he was beginning to like me, that he didn't hate me for being this way…I know it's only been a couple days, but I can't help it..." she trails off.

"I don't think it's you that he's angry with honey, I think he's got a couple issues he's not been dealing with properly. You know he reminds me a lot of you in a way. Let him come to you, and don't let this be a reason for you to push him away. Whatever's goin on in that head of his, only he can know that, but you gotta be there for him when he wants to finally talk about it." Maria implores, comforting her young friend.

"What…makes you think he'd… even want to talk to me… about anything?" She asks between sniffles.

"Call it a gut feeling, but a good one." Maria says soothingly, arm wrapped around Rogue's shoulders as they enter the house together.

Levi hadn't even recognised where he was driving to, couldn't even recall typing the address into the Sat-Nav, barely knew what he was doing until he arrived at the house, the one he'd promised himself he would go nowhere near once he'd moved to Shiganshina.

Yet, here he sits, staring at the house that belonged to his sister and childhood friend. The one they had bought together when they found out they were having a baby, the one they had moved into as soon as they were married…the one they died in not 3 months later.

Levi stares at the house some more, he looks at it for what feels like hours, until he can barely see it anymore. Until the tears flood his eyes and he can control his grief no longer.