CHAPTER TEN: REVELATIONS

Thanks so much for the reviews and for sticking with this Fan Fiction. I would like to say that when you are reading Kitty's POV you have to realize where she came from and the kind of life she had to live. It wasn't a situation that fostered feelings of high self-esteem. That she would be in a position to be a close friend of the town doctor and the United States Marshal wasn't something she anticipated. At the back of her mind there has always been the fear it was too good to be true.

The week seemed to drag on toward Saturday but finally it arrived. I dressed carefully picking a dress he had not seen before. It was a golden-brown watered silk edged in a cream-colored chiffon at the bodice and hem, and I hoped later that night, my handsome cowboy would help me remove it. My hair was in ringlets and my make-up looked just right. I was just fastening a topaz necklace at my throat and reaching for my earrings when Sam called the marshal was waiting.

I was happy to see he had on a new shirt and his courting jacket. There was also the surrey some newspaper men had left here years ago all shined up for our ride to the fort. He told me he had to get firm with Festus who thought he and the girl he was escorting should ride with us. Doc was going to drive the surrey and we would be in the back seat. It made me really happy that he wanted to be alone with me in the back.

A number of the girls had gotten together and were taking a wagon out to the dance. The men out there would be happy to have more partners. Sharon and Nadine looked very pretty in gowns I had fixed for them and they were so excited to see their soldiers again. Hopefully we would all have our dreams fulfilled this evening. As I leaned against Matt, his arm firmly around me, I closed my eyes and imagined us finally skin to skin at the end of the evening.

The dining hall at the fort was ablaze with lights and ladies who lived on the post had decorated very nicely. I was glad to see Sam and Rudy were there with their fiddle and guitar playing with the Army band. Doc would be calling a few of the square dances. I asked Matt how he was feeling since Doc made sure he rested most of the week. He told me he felt much better. Thankfully there had been no more emergencies and rebuilding of the damaged buildings had begun.

I felt so special walking in on the arm of the handsome marshal. Wherever we went women looked him over carefully. He always claimed he didn't notice but I don't know how he could have been so oblivious. He'd also been so embarrassed over the years whenever this cropped up, because he genuinely didn't think he was that good looking. I did appreciate that he stayed by my side most of the time, but I also teased him that he wanted me there for protection in case any other woman expected him to dance! Unfortunately, he doesn't love to dance but I did coax him out on the floor several times.

My girls seemed to be having a good time and the soldiers seemed appreciative that there were a number of young ladies to choose from and no one lacked for dance partners. The Captain and Sergeant were monopolizing Sharon and Nadine and they both looked so radiant. I was afraid I would soon be losing two of my most popular girls, but I was happy for them.

It seemed like a perfect night until after a particularly exhausting square dance with Festus. I was hot and needed some air and needed to freshen up. It was as I was coming back into the hall that my evening turned into a nightmare.

A group of soldiers were gathered at the entrance to the hall and I could hear their conversation as they looked at Matt. One of them mentioned that he had served in Arizona and knew Mike Yarder. That made me stop and listen and later I wished I had never given in to my curiosity. He said, "did you hear the marshal was hurt badly when he was in Arizona? He was nursed by Mike Yarder and I have seen that lady. I wouldn't mind having spent weeks with her. She is quite a good-looking woman."

I was stunned, Mike Yarder was a woman. Why hadn't Matt mentioned that? What had happened while he supposedly had amnesia? I don't know how I made it back to the table. Matt was over talking to the commandant. Doc was sitting there and after one look at my face he came and put his arm around me. He wanted to know what had happened. I managed not to cry and choked out, "please take me home Doc."

Somehow, we managed to get away without Matt talking to me. We did notice that he was coming out of the door calling my name as we drove out of the fort. On the way home I told the wise doctor what I had overheard and asked him why Matt would lie? When, Doc hesitated I began to suspect he already knew more than he had told me. Did he also know the truth about Mike? He didn't seem too surprised when I told him. Were they all aware of what happened and laughing at me? All I wanted was to find solitude in my rooms.

Finally, Doc spoke, "why don't you give Matt a chance to explain."

That was the last straw I was furious as I exploded, "don't you dare try to defend him Doc!

When I looked back on that night, I felt that I had never been more miserable. So many thoughts ran through my mind. I tried to find a logical reason Matt wouldn't have mentioned that he was nursed by a woman. Did he think I would be jealous when all I cared about was that someone had saved him? If he truly had amnesia had he become interested in this woman; maybe even fallen in love?

My life seemed to be falling apart in front of my eyes. I always felt that Matt Dillon would never lie to me or anyone else. So often over the years men had betrayed me, hurt me, physically and emotionally. I never thought I would be in a relationship with anyone like the United States Marshal of Dodge City, Kansas. Here was a man admired by so many, an upright, honest man or so I always thought. Now, I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.

I took off my clothes and just didn't even have the energy to hang up all my clothes, so I dropped them in a chair. Then I laid on my bed, but I was sure that sleeping was going to be difficult as my mind was spinning around in confusion. I must have started to doze because the next thing I heard was Matt banging on the door. One thing I knew was that I was not ready to see him at that time and I had moved a dresser in front of the door.

Obviously, I underestimated him because he was determined to get in the room. I could hear him say he would kick his way into the room if he had to. I was sure he would but I was not doing a thing to help him. Inch by inch he pushed the dresser away and the first thing he saw was me in the doorway with my hands on my hips. He wanted to talk to me, to explain. I was definitely not ready for that and I turned my back on him.

I was waiting for him to try to change my mind because I knew he wouldn't be here acting apologetic if Doc hadn't been talking to him. I tried to make him understand I was in no mood to talk to him at that point. I probably wouldn't be ready for a while especially since when he touched my shoulder I had to try not to shudder. From the day I first saw Matthew Dillon, I was attracted to him and never thought that his touch would leave me feeling cold.

All I wanted was for him to go away to let me have some time to think. If he was there my emotions would be running wild since I had such conflicting feelings about what might have happened with him and that woman. I needed alone time to sort it out in my own mind. I was sure I would get little sleep, so I told him to go away. If he really cared for me, he would give me time to adjust to this shocking information.

Suddenly everything seemed to hit me at once and I started to cry. I could hear Matt moving nervously behind me. He hated women crying. Usually he gave into anything to stop me from crying, which I did rarely. He cleared his throat a couple times and finally told me he would see me later.

Obviously, our relationship wasn't that important to him that he would not at least make the effort to calm me down. I knew I was acting irrationally but at that time that is exactly how I felt. I turned to him and spoke very loudly and aggressively, "when you finally figure out how to tell the truth and you know how you feel don't bother me, Matthew Dillon. It is evident that you couldn't trust me enough to tell the truth!

I hated myself because one part of me wanted him to stay to plead with me to understand. The other side of me wanted to become angry and let him know how crushed I had felt finding out that he was taken care of by an attractive woman while he was away, something that he had deliberately kept from me. In all the time we were in a relationship I had never cheated on him although there were many chances. Could I really understand what he was thinking and realize he really had no idea what he was doing to us? It was going to take some time.