The Lords: a hilarious history of highs and lows

by slapstick.genius

Do you know that the surviving Lords of Llanview are all descended from a Walloon factory huckster and a multiracial newspaper heiress? Now think again! It's one of the most hilarious success stories in soap opera history.

4. Jacob Lord, Toxic Social Climber

By the time Jacob Lord became an adult, he worked so hard and subsequently climbed into the billionaire's row! He was frequently a joke to nearly everyone in Llanview. His mistress was also a bit of a social bully named Marnie Amanda Miller, even though both were teen friends before that. Both weren't frankly married.

They met in 1911 and birthed Clayton Powell Lord in September 12 1916. Gwendolyn came later, in March 15 1920. Victor Dalby Lord was possibly their youngest yet most infamous child, born in June 18 1926.

Jacob Lord was also frenemies with Nicholas Chandler and both heartily hated each other. In the last few years of his life, Jacob was even more toxic than Nicholas was in the 1960s, which is the technical reason why Victor couldn't talk about him! As a result of such toxicity being partly attributed to a genetically low tolerance on alcohol, Jacob died in 1956 of heart disease.