Chapter 16

Levi monitors the crowd as Rogue does her usual rounds when she's not performing, as tonight is a Saturday, meaning its open mic night. Visiting queens of all ages, backgrounds, sizes and ethnicities come from all over the city to perform at Maria's bar in order to showcase their talents, and each Saturday Rogue insists on meeting every single one of them.

The queens themselves can be anything from newbie kids on the scene looking for their initial platform into the business, established performers that like to tour the country and bring their act to brand new audiences nation-wide and even older, retired queens who like to do one-off shows just for the sheer hell of it. In the last several weeks, Levi has met countless new faces within the walls of Maria's, each and every one of them different from the last, but all having one very specific thing in common. They all absolutely adore Rogue.

Levi has observed as the young drag queen has mingled and spread herself out evenly between all of the visiting performers that step into the club, ensuring she spends at least 10 minutes with each queen, giving pointers to the newer, more nervous ones when they need it and listening intently to the stories that the veteran acts like to share amongst each other. With each person, she gives them her full and complete attention, going in to the most miniscule of details when it's requested of her and asking relevant questions when she feels it necessary. She does it all happily and without complaint, and if there was ever any doubt in Levi's mind on whether she deserves all the attention she receives or not, it's eradicated whenever he watches her interact with the other queens.

Currently, Rogue is in deep conversation with a performer that looks to be in her 60s or 70s and wearing a very gaudy, yellow evening gown with a bright orange wig worn in a fifties style and make up that looks like it's been painted on for lack of a better term, looking like a cast member of a theatre production of Hairspray. A million miles away from the younger woman with the long, wavy, red hair and emerald green, strapless, fitted gown with a mermaid train, her face highlighted to perfection and tan body covered in glitter, giving off the vibe of a beautiful, seductive sea princess. They sit together on one of the purple silk sofas near the back of the club and close to the bar area, away from the loud speakers. Rogue is smiling happily at the elder queen, who is gesturing wildly in the midst of telling her tale.

Levi heads over to the bar to ask Reiner for a glass of water, keeping Rogue firmly in his sights, when Mikasa approaches him to his right. She's wearing a lacy, red bralette that shows off her cleavage with white skinny jeans that make her legs look incredibly long and a pair of fire truck red platform heels. Levi notes she's also curled her short hair at the ends and is wearing a bit of make-up, not something she'd normally do on one of her visits to the club. She looks at him for a second in mild surprise and gestures to his face.

"Eren do that for you?" She asks, referring to newly applied make-up.

"Yeah, he needed help with his new video, and I thought I'd keep it on for a while, try out something new. I might wash it off soon, probably makes me look stupid." Levi says, looking down at the bar and not the woman currently scrutinising his face.

"No don't, it looks good. Looks really good in fact. You should wear it more often." She insists, and Levi notes that it's the first time she's ever paid him anything even remotely close to a compliment. It feels strange.

The air around them is quiet and awkward for a touch, until Mikasa breaks the silence once more.

"Listen, I wanted to apologise for how I've treated you this last while. I've been a real bitch recently when it comes to Eren and it's not been fair on you. I guess it's just touched a nerve that he doesn't need me to take care of him as much anymore. But you're doing a great job of it, better than I ever could have, and I'm sorry." Mikasa says, anxiously watching Levi for any signs of anger or dismissal of her apology.

"Thank you." Levi says, looking her in the eye properly for the first time, "And not that I don't appreciate it, but what brought all this on? Last night you wouldn't have pissed on me if I was set on fire, to put it bluntly. What changed?"

Mikasa looks a little uncomfortable before she answers his question, "Well, honestly, last night I got talking to Erwin for a couple hours and you came up briefly in conversation. I was…. less than kind in my descriptions of you and he was quick to come to your defence. He told me a little bit about you, nothing bad, just about the kind of friend you are. He also a mentioned a little about the time you were both in the military and some things you went through when you served…."

"What did he tell you? What the fuck do you know?" Levi asks sharply and abruptly, "You know, don't you? Did he tell you about what happened? Because he had no right to do that! Stupid bastard!" He bangs his fist loudly on the edge of the bar and Mikasa holds on to his arm to stop him repeating the action.

"He didn't tell me anything in detail, I swear! I'm not going to lie, he did hint that something big happened to you. Something bad. But he wouldn't tell me what it was. I did ask, but he wouldn't budge on the subject. But I figured that if it was anything as bad as what happened to Erwin's arm…. then you've been through far too much and don't need my pointless crap piled on top of it." She says honestly, still holding on to his arm. He doesn't really want her to let go right now, he could use the additional support and she seems to have sensed this also.

"My experience was quite a bit different from Erwin's. Erwin was on the front lines of battle and had his arm blown off trying to save one of his subordinates, while I tried and failed to protect five of mine. We both left the military with physical and emotional scars that we're damned to carry around with us every single fucking day, and while Erwin is happy enough to wear his with pride, I'm not quite there yet and I don't think I ever will be." Levi says, taking a deep, shaky breath.

"Levi, I don't know what happened to you, but what I will say is that you don't have to ever be okay with it. You don't have to be like Erwin, you can take your experiences, lock them up tight in your mind and hide them as far away as you want. But I do think that you should at least tell Eren." Mikasa advises gently, "You're living together now, and honestly unless you ever decide to leave of your own volition, Eren is never gonna get rid of you. He idolises you and looks up to you, figuratively of course, so as far as I'm concerned, you're in it for the long haul."

"I'll let the height jab slide, seeing as you're trying to be nice to me for once." Levi smirks and Mikasa returns it, "And you're right, he deserves to know who he's living with. I have tried to bring it up before, but I end up just not knowing what to say or how to begin. I do plan on telling him though, I just need a little more time. He's been so honest with me about his life that it's only fair if nothing else."

"I take it he told you everything huh?" Mikasa asks, "The drugs, the rehab, the arrests…"

"Yeah, all of that stuff." Levi pauses for a second to look at Mikasa's face for a little longer this time, "He also told me about the time he hurt you too…. but I can't see the mark he was talking about."

Mikasa automatically tries to cover her right cheekbone with her hair, before letting it go and smiling a little ruefully, "You know, you're not the only one that Eren has taught how to cover unwanted scarring."

"Damn, and here was me thinking I'm special." Levi jokes, before he's tackled from behind in a tight hug.

"Levi!" Hange yells into his ear, squeezing and shaking him with vigour.

"Jesus, four eyes! Is there some kind of legislation that forces you to give me a fucking headache every time I see you?" Levi grumbles, rubbing at his now sore ear.

"You love me really." She insists, "Now, I need me some alcohol!"

"That's debatable. Where's eyebrows?" Levi asks, looking around for the blond until he spots him making his way over to them. He's dressed up tonight, Levi notices, he's wearing a vibrant red cashmere sweater that hugs his toned muscles with dark designer jeans and dress shoes. He's even styled his hair in a more casual manner than usual, it suits him but then again, he can pull off pretty much anything, Levi thinks.

With a small 'Hi' to Levi, he walks straight past his best friend, patting him on the back as he goes and stands next to Mikasa on the other side of the bar. He tentatively wraps his good arm around her shoulders and kisses her chastely on the cheek. She flushes and leans further into his touch, placing her own arm around his broad back. Hange is too busy chattering away to a busy Reiner, that she doesn't even notice the exchange. Levi smirks to himself and turns around to look at where Rogue had been sitting. Had, being the optimal term, as she's now nowhere to be seen.

Levi scans the entire room and can find no sign of her, within the throng of exuberantly dressed people she'd be hard to spot, but not impossible, so the fact he can't see any sign of her at all is slightly worrying. He starts pacing around the room in long strides, looking for any indication that she may have left, or he's simply not noticed her in the crowd, but the longer he looks the less likely that possibility seems. He takes the time to ask Connie up in his DJ deck if he's seen her in the last half hour and comes up empty, he even spots a casually dressed Annie in the crowd with Jean and Maria, who confirm they also haven't seen her since she arrived. He rushes backstage to see if she's simply talking to any of the remaining drag queens scattered behind the curtain, but still she's nowhere to be found.

He's just beginning to feel the first stages of panic when he pokes his head into her dressing room and finds her sitting in the middle of the room with her head buried in one of her garments. On closer inspection, he notices that she's crying silently. He approaches her slowly, trying not to alarm her when she's like this, and kneels down gently next to where she sits legs crossed on the cold floor, the long train of her dress starting to wrinkle at the bottom.

"You doing okay there, kiddo?" He asks softly, not wanting to startle her too badly. Her shoulders do jump a little, but he can't tell if its in surprise or she's just let out a harsh sob, he bets on the latter. She shakes her head vigorously, refusing to look up at him.

"You wanna tell me what's going on?" He questions, trying to coax her into relaxing in his presence. Her shoulders are tense, and her hands are shaking, still scrunched into the unrecognisable item of clothing. He places cool, gentle fingers on her bare shoulder and starts rubbing little circles into her skin, she's warm with the exception of her hands and incredibly soft, little specks of glitter coming off on his fingertips, but he doesn't stop the motion for a second.

"I almost fucked up again. I was so close to just…." She trails off, her body wracking in loud, painful sobs this time. Levi can't hold himself back again longer, without thinking he scoops her up off the floor and carries her over to the small, green loveseat in the corner of the room. He sits on the comfy chair and places Rogue gently on his lap, she hides her face in the crook of his neck and continues to cry her heart out. He rubs her back and bare shoulders in an attempt to comfort and calm her down.

"Tell me what's wrong." He says encouragingly, "I can only help if you tell me what happened."

Rogue continues to sob and sniffle a little, trying to pull herself together enough to give Levi and answer. Levi pulls the cravat off his neck and gives it to her to blow her nose, he can wash it thoroughly later, and she takes from him, wiping her tears before she starts off her shaky explanation.

"I needed to pee, so I went to the bathroom to untuck in one of the cubicles, and when I opened the door to an unlocked one there were already two girls in there kneeling on the floor, it was a couple of the younger drag queens I've been helping. The toilet seat lid was down, and they had several lines of coke spread out on it. They just laughed and offered to let me have some if I wanted." She tearfully explains.

"Oh Rogue." He says, understanding why she's so upset all of a sudden, "Did you take any of it?"

She shakes her head, "No, I told them it was kind of them to offer but I didn't want any and ran out of the bathroom. I somehow ended up here, I don't even remember how." Rogue wipes her remaining tears and begins trying to cool down her face with her cold hands.

"But you did want some of it, right?" Levi prompts, still rubbing her back in a soothing, affectionate gesture.

She nods sadly, "I was so tempted to just do a quick couple of lines right there and head straight back out, no one would be any the wiser. I've always been good at pretending I'm not completely wasted, I had enough experience. But I managed to stop myself, because quitting cocaine was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do…. and honestly? I don't think I could do it all over again.

But do you know what got me the most? The fact that no matter what I've been through, no matter how many months in rehab I had to do or how many people I've hurt through my addiction, I still could have fallen off the wagon in a split second. That's all it took, a matter of seconds to tempt me, to undo everything I've worked so hard far. What if next time I'm not strong enough? What if more people end up hurt because of my inability to control myself?"

Levi sighs, "Look kid, you need to stop giving yourself such a hard time. Yes, you were tempted, but so what? You didn't do anything wrong, and you may not believe me here, but you showed the utmost amount of strength in simply saying no. Think about it Rogue, you once confessed to me that you have robbed and threatened numerous people in the past just to scrape together enough cash for your next hit. And here you are, nearly 5 years later, getting offered lines for free and walking away in the opposite direction. I would say that's pretty damn decent, wouldn't you?"

"I guess." Rogue sniffles into the cravat, "But I still wanted to say yes."

"And that's only to be expected, you're not made of steel. You're going to have urges and slip ups, but how you handle them is what really counts in the end. And you did perfectly, I mean it brat. I'm proud of you." Levi says genuinely, a rare soft smile gracing his features and his hand resting on the small of the woman's back. Rogue laughs shyly, a few tears still running down her cheeks, her meticulously perfected make up practically ruined.

"You mean it, you're proud of me?" She asks, looking up at Levi through her haphazardly placed fake eyelashes.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it brat, just don't be getting too used to it." Levi jokes, smirking at the amusement now lighting up the pretty queen's sad eyes, "I just need to know one thing, Ymir does body searches at the door, how did they get in with the drugs?" He asks curiously.

"The performers don't get searched when they come in, they head in from the back door. One of them must have taken it in with them." Rogue confirms, feeling a little silly from sitting in her bodyguard's lap and begins to stand up. Levi grabs the crook of her arm lightly before she manages to get off him fully, "Do you think you could point out which ones it was if you were asked to?"

She nods an affirmative, "Yeah I know who they are, I spoke to them for a while tonight before they got on stage. Falco and Colt their real names are if I remember correctly, Maria knows them as well I think."

"Okay, I'm gonna go speak to Ymir and let her know she's gotta be a bit more vigilant with the people she's letting in, performer or not they'll need to be searched from now on. I'll run it by Maria as well, she should know about the type of people that are performing on her stage, you know how anti-drugs she is. She'll be furious." Levi says, letting go of Rogue's arm so she can stand and getting up so he can make his way out of the dressing room, "Do you want me to get you anything while I'm gone? Some water? Mikasa?"

"No, I'm fine thanks, I'm honestly okay now I swear. I'm just going to get changed and head back out for that drink I promised Hange." Rogue insists, picking up some of her clean, casual wear from the rack next to her separation screen and privacy curtain.

"Alright, I'll meet you back out there soon."

The dancefloor is packed and full of sweaty patrons as the night goes on, it's around about midnight and they've had probably five strong cocktails each when Mikasa pulls Erwin into a hidden, dark corner of the club and kisses him passionately.

Their breaths and tongues dance together as Mikasa's hands roam the strong muscles of his back, and he holds her tightly against him with both arms, real and prosthetic, as she does. They'd been flirting back and forth for the entirety of the previous night, engaging in interesting conversation before parting with an innocent kiss and a promise to see each other again the following night. And when they found themselves back in each other's company earlier this evening, the air between them was almost magnetic and it was hard to keep their hands to themselves.

They kiss for a while longer before pausing for a short breath and continuing where they left off. Ever the dominant personalities in their every day lives, they each battle for possession of the kiss and Erwin wins with a slight edge. The edge being that Mikasa likes that he can take control of her with ease, a trait that not many of her previous make out partners had in the past.

He thrusts his skilled tongue into her hot, welcoming mouth and they moan together, locking fingers against the wall over Mikasa's head. Erwin pulls away from the alluring, Asian beauty and begins leaving soft kisses down the side of her elongated neck as she pulls on his longer strands of hair, bringing him back to her lips once more and kissing him hard. They break apart finally, breathless and panting.

"Do you…. want to come home with me tonight?" Mikasa asks, softly caressing the side of his slightly stubbled face.

When he doesn't answer right away, looking slightly torn at the suggestion, she heaves a deep sigh and continues.

"It's fine if you don't want to, I just thought that's where this was leading, y'know? But I understand if you're not interested or taken or whatever, it's cool." She says, the nonchalance in her tone not quite reaching her eyes.

"It's not that, it's not that at all, I promise. I'm not taken, nor am I in any way rejecting you. I just…. and it's going to sound silly, but I would at least like to take you out on a proper date before we go any further. As much I would enjoy sharing your bed tonight, I think I would find it far more pleasurable if I know that I've at least treated you like a lady first." Erwin says sheepishly, far less confident in his reasoning than he had been prior to opening his mouth.

"You want to…. Take me on a date?" Mikasa asks surprised, "I hadn't even thought about that. I figured that since you're leaving in little under a week, you'd be looking for a no strings attached kind of deal?"

"It can be that way if that's what you want, I'm willing to take anything you're willing to give me. But regardless, I still want to take you out first, show you a good time and spoil you a little. If you'll have me that is?" Erwin asks with a nervous half smile.

Mikasa breathes out and lets her lips curve into a teasing smirk, "You're going to break my little heart when you leave Erwin Smith, I can already tell. But yes, I would love to go on a date with you."

Erwin grins at her happily and kisses her chastely on the lips, she takes his hand again and leads him away from their corner before turning to face him again.

"But for now, we're gonna go out there and you're gonna dance with me." She winks.

Rogue strips off her fancy clothing and changes into a comfortable, white, frilly blouse, a red pencil skirt with white fishnet tights underneath and ballet style flat shoes for the remainder of the night. She has just managed to clean up her face and tie her red hair up in a bun when Ymir bursts through her dressing room door.

"Ymir?! Is everything alright? Levi was looking for you, did you speak to him?" Rogue asks, curious as to why one of her closest friends has frantically forced her way into her private area and is holding out her cell phone.

"No, he didn't, but it'll need to wait. I've been trying to get past him for the last 15 minutes. We need to speak to you privately and this is important." Ymir rambles, her freckled cheeks tinged pink from exertion, "I have Historia on the phone, she can't make it here, but she has some news for you. I came as quickly as I could get away from the door."

Rogue plucks the phone from Ymir's fingers and holds it up to her ear, "Historia?"

"Hey Eren, I'm sorry for the dramatics but I couldn't get through on your phone and I thought it best to speak with you while you're alone or with Ymir with you at the very most." Historia says, sounding a little stressed out.

"That's alright, I was just changing anyway, what's the matter?" Rogue asks curiously.

"I don't quite know how to tell you this, Eren. I've only just received the news myself, Dirk called me about an hour ago and honestly, I've just been trying to wrap my head around it. Apparently, Urklyn tried to kill himself in his cell about a month ago. He managed to fashion a makeshift noose in attempt to hang himself, he wrote out a suicide note for dad and everything. I think that's why he wanted me to go see him, to say goodbye." Historia confirms, sounding like she can't quite believe what she's saying.

"Are you kidding me?!" Rogue yells down the phone, shaking her head in repulsion, "After everything he's done, and he chooses to try and take the coward's way out? I can't believe him, where is he now then? Licking his wounds?"

"I know, it's just standard Urklyn taking the easy route, no surprises there. But the thing is, by the time the guards found him, he'd cut off his own air supply completely and couldn't get any oxygen to his brain. They attempted to manually feed him oxygen through a breathing tube, but he fell in to a coma. I wasn't even told, and he's been on life support for the last several weeks, until a couple of hours ago when they turned it off." Historia states solemnly.

"Historia…. what are you trying to tell me? Just spit it out." Rogue demands wearily.

"Urklyn's dead, Eren."