Chapter 21

By the time Levi is finished telling his side of the story, he can feel Eren's tight grasp, hand now shaking in his own. When he looks up, there are tears streaming freely down the boy's face, his normally pretty features scrunched up in a gradient of shock and despair.

"Oh my god…. Why…. Why didn't you…. Armin, why didn't you tell me? I can't…." Eren manages, his breath catching between words and sobs escaping his throat no matter how much he tries to hold them in.

Before Armin can respond however, Annie gets up from the armchair she'd been sitting in and quickly leaves the room without saying another word, not even looking back at the inhabitants she's left behind. Levi can see from the small glass window on the door that Marco tries to get her attention, but she simply ignores him, continuing to walk away as the confused man watches after her worriedly.

Armin sighs, "I better go and check on her, I've never told her the full story in that much detail…. I should have expected her to be a little taken aback, I'll be back soon." He says, as he begins to stand.

"No!" Levi exclaims, reaching over Eren to grab Armin's elbow with his free hand, "Let me talk to her, this is new to Eren, and you two need to work this out yourselves first. Plus, I need to have a little word with Annie myself anyway."

"Alright then." Armin nods, "Just please don't be too hard on her for not telling you about me before, if you need to yell at her I'd rather you do it when she's in a slightly better state of mind. You can be quite imposing and frightening when you want to be…."

"I won't." Levi promises, "But I need to talk to her nonetheless."

"Wait, Levi!" Eren yelps suddenly, voice a little choked up and eyes still filled with unshed tears, clutching tighter on to Levi's hand, "Don't leave yet, I don't want you to go right now. Please stay." Eren doesn't add the "with me" but it's heavily implied, and of course Armin picks up on it straight away.

"I won't be gone for long, brat. And anyway, you and Armin have some talking of your own to do. Annie and I will be back before you can even miss us." Levi says gently, and Eren sighs lightly before nodding in agreement. Levi ruffles Eren's hair affectionately before he leaves, causing some of his long strands to break free from his hair tie, and leaves the room in the same way Annie had moments prior.

To his surprise, Levi finds Annie sitting on the steps of Jean and Marco's front porch, facing away from him and smoking a cigarette.

"Promise you won't tell on me?" She asks without looking at him, "Armin doesn't mind when I smoke, but Marco likes to give me the odd boring lecture about it. Between you and me, I'd rather save myself the headache right now."

"Tch, I won't tell if you let me steal one from you." Levi bargains with a sly smirk, moving gracefully to sit next to the brooding blonde woman. She raises an amused eyebrow at him before holding out the open pack, he plucks one out and Annie gives him her own cigarette so he can light his.

They sit like that for a little while, silent and puffing away together, enjoying the feel of the night air on their skin.

"I'm not running away." Annie says suddenly, "If that's what you think. I just got a little…."

"Overwhelmed?" Levi offers, taking another drag of his cigarette as he watches her fidget with the hem of her shirt with one hand. She nods gently, looking down at her crossed feet rather than at him.

"Obviously Armin has told me about what happened back then before, about him being raped and how they would hurt him…. but I hadn't imagined there would be such a big difference between hearing it from him and hearing it from someone who watched it happened. He talks about it like it happened to somebody else, which I get, I suppose at some point it probably would end up feeling like an out of body experience…. or maybe that's just how he keeps it at bay…. I don't know. But hearing it from you…. hearing about how it felt to watch him go through it, seeing the unspeakable things they did to him for fun with your own eyes…. it was like watching it play out for myself. I couldn't bear the thought of seeing him go through that." Annie clarifies, looking sheepishly at Levi, and for once he thinks she looks her age, 21, with her whole damn life in front of her.

"I'm sorry, I should have been more considerate of your feelings…."

"No, don't apologise." Annie insists, "I wanted to hear what you had to say, I stupidly didn't think of what that would truly mean for me. And it's not like I had to actually go through it…. not like you and Armin…." She trails off, stubbing out her cigarette and lighting a new one. She offers Levi another, but he declines, tipping his head back slightly to look up at the stars that are beginning to appear.

"I wanted to say thank you." Annie says, "For being there for Armin back then, for giving him a reason to live. He's told me before that if it hadn't been for you, he would have given up hope much sooner than he did. He said you reminded him to focus on what was important in life, on the things he had left to fight for. For me. If you hadn't been there Levi, I'm afraid I might not be standing here today, surrounded by people I consider my family, wearing the ring that the love of my life gave me on the day I agreed to be his wife. I have a lot to thank you for."

"You give me far too much credit." Levi insists a little uncomfortably, not quite sure how to react to Annie's statement, "I gave him a few encouraging words, the rest was all him."

"You're wrong." Annie states firmly, "Do you remember that I told you back when we met that I used to date Mikasa?"

Levi nods an affirmative.

"We were together for about 2 years, maybe a little longer if I remember correctly, but she was my first love. The first person I had ever considered building a life with, a real life, mine wasn't the best growing up, but I won't bore you with that. I adored her, truly I did, but she was so focused on Eren and the shit he was going through at the time. Of course, your brother fighting a drug addiction is tough, but it's no reason to put your own life on hold and make him the centre of your entire world.

But I understood why she did it, and I loved Eren like a brother back then too, so I waited patiently for her to do what she needed to do and come back to me properly. When Armin left to go to the military, although back then he told us he was joining the peace corps…." Levi snorts at this and Annie huffs a little laugh also, "it was just Mikasa and I left to look after Eren. Of course Jean and Marco did what they could, but they were a little older and didn't want to impose on Grisha and Carla with their constant presence. Mikasa started to become completely neurotic about him, and it was almost impossible to get her to leave him alone without questioning him several times a day or interrogating him whenever he went out or came back home, honestly it was exhausting and I wasn't even on the receiving end of it.

The more focused and concerned she became about Eren, the less time she spent investing our relationship. It's not that she didn't care, she just had other things in her life that became more important. But I wanted to be treated like I was important too, coming from a broken family made me want to have a commitment of my own, the promise of my own little family one day. And Mikasa wasn't willing to give me that then, and I wasn't willing to wait for her. So, we ended it and I almost lost everything. It wasn't intentional on anybody's part, but Mikasa was much closer to everyone else than I was, she introduced me to all of my friends with the exception of Bert and Reiner, so I ended up distancing myself out of awkwardness and sense of duty." Annie explains, continuing to puff on her cigarette here and there as she speaks. Levi continues to listen intently as she carries on.

"I was rather lonely and depressed when Armin returned and visited me at my home. We had tea as I cried on his shoulder over what had happened in the time he'd been gone, seems a little ridiculous now that I think back on it. He just listened and listened, didn't even complain once, so I asked him why he was being so attentive all of a sudden. He just said that he wanted to listen to the sound of my voice…. He confessed to me that night, told me that someone incredibly important to him made him promise to tell me how he felt, even if it meant I would have to reject him…. I thought back then he was talking about Eren, but I realise now it was you all along. It was because of you that he poured his heart out to me…. and I chose to take a leap of faith. So, no Levi, I'm not giving you too much credit…. I owe you everything."

Levi lets the words sink in for a few moments before he turns back to face Annie, she isn't watching him like he'd thought, simply finishing off her cigarette with a serene look on her usually sharp, bored features.

"You know, this wasn't at all how I expected this conversation to go. I thought I'd be coming out here to question you properly on why you brought me here…. But now that you've told me all of that, I don't need to. I can see how much you love him, that much is obvious, and I've always lived my life making the decisions that I believed I would regret the least. My biggest regret is not listening to Armin when he tried to warn me that day…. but I will never regret not listening to him when he told me he was ready to die, you two deserve to be happy together, I mean that." Levi says genuinely, and Annie blushes tomato red in response.

"You try and tell anybody I said that, girl or not, I'll kick your ass. Got that?" He jokes, smirking lightly as he stands up, patting Annie lightly on the shoulder as he does so and offering his hand to help her up.

"I'll be holding you to that Ackerman." Annie replies cheekily, grabbing Levi's outstretched hand.

"I don't what to say." Eren admits, refusing to look at Armin directly in the eye and staring intently at his still shaking hands.

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to Eren, we can talk about this in the morning if you'd rather? Give you some time to think on it?" Armin offers, rubbing Eren lightly on the arm in comfort.

"It's not that Armin," Eren insists, "I'm not weirded out by you or anything, so please don't think that. I just…. feel so guilty."

"Why do you feel guilty?" Armin asks, genuinely confused, "You didn't do anything."

"Exactly Arm, I did nothing. You were gone for over a year, training and fighting in an Army I had no idea about, all the time I thought you'd joined the Peace Corps and were building houses in Africa or something similar. Instead, I find out you were somewhere in the Middle East, fighting terrorists and were held captive, raped, tortured and almost died. And then you came back, and you helped me cope after I got out of Rehab…. you listened as I bitched and complained about Mikasa and feeling tempted to use again…. and the whole time…." Eren chokes on a sob, "The whole time you had nobody to turn to…. I'm so sorry Armin, if I had known…."

"Hey, don't do that!" Armin says, wrapping his best friend into a hug and holding him tightly, "I was the one that chose not to tell you, if anyone should be sorry, it should be me for not trusting in you sooner. I just knew you had so much on your plate, I didn't want to give you any more to worry about. Then you started to get better, and I wanted for you to stay happy. I know it sounds dumb, but for me there was just never a good time to tell you."

Eren continues crying into his friend's shoulder, holding him impossibly closer as if to confirm to himself he's still there, alive, breathing and okay.

"And you're forgetting, I had Annie too. I did as Levi said and I told her how I felt not a day after returning home, and since then she's been by my side. It was hard to tell her, I won't lie, but you know Annie, despite how she presents herself she has a loving heart, and she was amazing. I couldn't have gotten through it without her. So please don't be too angry with her." Armin pleads on the behalf of his fiancée, remembering the tension between her and Eren earlier that evening.

Eren cringes, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna try and make her feel bad or anything, I should probably apologise."

"That can wait, it's been a long day, you talk to her in the morning." Armin suggests gently, still rubbing circles into his friend's back as they pull out of the hug. Without warning, Eren is suddenly struck with thoughts of Levi, and what he'd also had to go through those years ago and every day since.

"Levi, I should do something for him, he's been so good to me these last couple months. And now I know what he's had to deal with since retiring from the Military…. No wonder he's hated me all this time. Can't say I blame him…." Eren complains mournfully.

"Eren, listen to me, granted I've only been back for a few hours and I've only been hearing snippets from Annie on how you and he have been with each other, but I can guarantee that man doesn't hate you." Armin assures him with an amused look.

"You can't possibly know that…." Eren mutters.

"Maybe not, but I have Levi's hatred before first hand, I know what that looks like. And I can tell you, it's nowhere near the way he acts around you, not even close. I would actually go as far as to say he likes you and values your friendship. Trust me, you would know if he felt anything even remotely close to hate towards you." Armin says nervously, scratching the back of his neck. Eren looks at him closely, suspicion beginning to creep in at his friend's words.

"Armin, what are you not telling me?" Eren asks curiously, continuing to stare at Armin intently.

"I don't know what you're talking abou…."

"Armin. Tell me." Eren demands softly, still not completely over his earlier breakdown.

"Okay, well the thing is…." Armin begins quietly, checking the door before he continues, making Eren a lot more nervous than he would like, "…. Levi spoke about the four men that held us captive in that house. But…. there were actually five men in total, the fifth man was called Jonah. Levi killed him."

"What? What do you mean?!" Eren exclaims with eyes wider than saucers.

"It was the day they scarred him. David didn't just shove Levi's face onto the stove because he broke free of his ties, he did it because Levi practically ripped Jonah's throat out with his teeth, he bled to death in minutes. Levi said before that he fell to the ground after becoming woozy with exhaustion, he didn't, I think he blacked out and killed Jonah in an animalistic rage before coming back to his senses. I don't even think he remembers doing it." Armin explains.

"My god…." Eren pales, "But he didn't mention a Jonah at all? Just the other four."

"My theory is that he's repressed all memory of Jonah completely, as a coping mechanism. He was a nasty one, he liked to focus all of his brutish antics on Levi, beat him senseless constantly, exploited Levi's OCD and need for cleanliness whenever he could, electrocuted him with tasers when he stopped watching the others with me….I don't blame Levi for doing what he did, but I think on some level he hates the fact he lost himself, even for just a few moments, and has locked it far away in his head. It goes without saying that you can't say anything about it Eren, I don't know how might react if he were ever reminded of that." Armin implores, making sure Eren fully comprehends his words as the brunet nods in solemn agreement.

Armin and Eren are just leaving the living room when Levi and Annie make their way back into the house, meeting each other in the hallway. Neither pair even has the chance to say a word before Marco is fussing over them all.

"You guys all doing okay there now? Anybody need more tea or anything?" He asks self-consciously, pulling absentmindedly at the bottom of his (well, Jean's) oversized shirt. The group all shake their heads no, and Armin speaks up for the entire group.

"We're very sorry about this evening Marco, and it's already gone 11pm, we didn't mean to impose in your home for so long." Armin apologises profusely, and Marco whips his arm with the dishtowel that had been slung over his shoulder.

"You stop talking that nonsense now Armin! Since when have we ever said you were imposing here?" Marco asked astonished, "You get that ridiculous idea out your head now, ya hear?"

"Sorry Marco." Eren pipes up, "It's been a very long and eventful day, for me at the very least."

"No need for dumb apologies, don't make me hit you too! Now everyone else has already left, Connie and Sasha had to take Kaya home to put her to bed, although she was a little upset that she didn't get the chance to give her favourite uncle a kiss goodbye." Marco admonishes a disappointed looking Levi, he always makes sure he says goodbye properly when Kaya has to leave, he'll buy her a nice new stuffed animal as an apology to make up for it. She likes Hippos these days, that'll be perfect.

"I feel like I should let y'all know that poor Hange wasn't looking too good when she left, said she wanted some time to be alone tonight so Erwin left with Mikasa, there was talk of him staying over there tonight seeing as they have their date starting early tomorrow anyway…" Marco explains, and Levi can't help but interrupt at the revelation.

"Wait, Eyebrows and Scarfy are going on a date? Seriously? When was this decided?" Levi asks, astonished at the idea of his best friend and employer's sister going on a date together. A real date. The idea is just weird to him.

"Umm, Levi. They've been fairly obvious about it over the last few days. They have barely left eachother's sides since Erwin arrived here…. Erwin was covered in red lipstick at the club for a good few hours…. Mikasa's hair and make-up were a touch away from completely ruined…. They were flirting constantly…. None of this ringing any bells?" Eren teases, grinning in amusement at his confused friend's expression.

"I'm…. not exactly good when it comes to recognising attraction." Levi says, shifting uncomfortably just as Jean is passing them all by on his way to the bathroom.

"Yeah, no kidding." Jean jokes, cackling as Eren blanches and Marco balls up the dishtowel to throw at his head as he closes the downstairs bathroom door on them.

"Anyway, now that's all cleared up, I've spent the last couple hours getting the guest rooms set up for y'all, so feel free to head to bed whenever you'd like, Armin and Annie have the downstairs queen room, Levi, Eren, you guys are in the adjoining room upstairs." Marco says.

"Now, just wait a second Marco, you didn't have to do that. I'm fine driving everyone home, I'm completely sober, and I'm pretty sure everyone else has sobered up since dinner." Levi insists.

"I'll hear none of that Levi. Now, I may not have a damned idea what the heck's been going on tonight but going by the way y'all have been acting I'm gonna hedge a guess and say that none of you should be left alone tonight. You need to be with your friends and you are more than welcome to be here whenever you want to be, so you can do whatever the heck you wanna do right now, Jean and I are always up late anyhow, but I insist that you sleep here tonight and have breakfast here tomorrow before you even THINK about leaving, and you WILL be sleeping in. You all have spare clothes and PJs, so I won't accept any excuses." Marco finishes finally, crossing his arms just as Jean exits the bathroom and joins them all in the hallway.

"Did I hear correctly that we're having a sleepover babe?" Jean asks easily, wrapping an arm around Marco's shoulders, Marco and the others nod in agreement, "Excellent, now then, Levi, Annie, you guys up for some video games?"

It's around 2 o'clock in the morning when everybody has retired to their respective bedrooms and it's nearly 3 o'clock in the morning when Levi gives up even trying to get any sleep tonight. Instead, he decides to do his best in clearing out the massive closet in the beautifully decorated guest bedroom.

Levi always sleeps in this room whenever he and Eren sleep over, with the latter always placed in the adjoining room connected. He begins rifling through the closet, neatly folding clothes and pyjamas that belong to him, Connie, Sasha and Kaya. Connie and Sasha also tend to use this room on the odd occasion, the adjoining room a perfect place to have Kaya sleep when they're beat and not up to making the long drive home.

He's just putting away several piles of clothes carefully, when there is a light tapping on the door leading to the bedroom directly connected to his. It can only be Eren.

"Come in." Levi whispers quietly, not wanting to wake Jean and Marco, who are situated just down the hall.

"Hi" Eren calls softly, entering the room wearing nothing but a black tank top and a pair of sleep shorts, "I couldn't sleep….and going by the state of that closet, I'm guessing you couldn't either?" He teases.

"What are you talking about? The closet is spotless."

"Exactly."

Levi huffs for a moment, before putting the last of the clothes away and sitting back down on his comfy double bed, patting the free spot next to him when Eren simply stands looking a little lost for words for a few moments.

"What's on your mind, kid?" Levi asks gently, genuinely curious on Eren's feelings seeing as they haven't had a proper chance to talk in private.

"I just…. I keep thinking about all of those horrible things you told me. I can't get my head around them, you and Armin, you've been through so much, you're both so brave." Eren says, and Levi chuckles lightly in response.

"I wouldn't call it bravery kid, Armin and I are the same in that we've only been doing what we can to survive….and now that it's all over, we continue to do the same thing every day. We're not heroes Eren, we're survivors. Nothing extraordinary here, so stop looking at me like that, I don't need misplaced hero worship from you of all people kid." Levi says, nudging Eren's bare shoulder.

"You're far too hard on yourself Levi." Eren insists, "You just…. don't look at yourself and see what I see."

"Well, what exactly do you see?" Levi asks, quirking an eyebrow.

"I see a survivor, yes. But I also see a fighter…. A leader…. A man who stopped at nothing to get all of his men home to their families, safe and sound…. I see a strong man who feels broken, and can't see how truly beautiful he is, inside and out, because he put others first before himself, he put himself through hell and back, and he did it all so that even when he wasn't the one being tortured he could still share the pain with the ones who were, so that they knew they weren't alone, that they had somebody watching over them. A hero, dare I say. That's the kind of man I think you are Levi." Eren finishes, "A hero, a saviour. A good man."

"You think I'm a good man?" Levi asks, voice soft and face turning a brighter shade of red than he's used to.

"Put it this way, I think it takes a very good, very special type of man to face the one thing he fears the most and make his home in the room next to it." Eren jokes self-depricatingly, shrugging a shoulder and looking at Levi with a coy smile.

"Eren," Levi begins, looking at Eren as he does so, all traces of humour suddenly gone from his features, "You know that I don't hate you right? Because you're….y'know….gay? I'm not going to lie and say it's never bothered me, because it has, it's bothered me to the point where I've wanted to forget the contract and hand in my request for a release from my contract. But…. I know you're not them, that you're not like them…. things have changed since then."

"What changed?" Eren asks, placing a tentative hand on Levi's shoulder, his T-shirt feeling cool against the warm skin of Eren's palm.

"The way I feel about you." Levi clarifies, looking into Eren's mesmerising, mismatched eyes.

"And…. What way would that be?" Eren asks, focusing hard on his words so his breath doesn't hitch. Damn, he has it bad.

"Well, you're an annoying little shit…. but for some reason I find it utterly impossible to dislike you. And against my better judgement, I've found that I happen to care about you brat, you've wormed your way into my life and now I have no way of getting rid of you." Levi smirks, laughing at Eren's annoyed eye roll.

"I probably could have told you that old man." Eren complains, "And here I was thinking that you were going to say you were glad to have me as your friend and that you value me."

"That's ambitious of you brat, now all this pointless, shitty chatter is actually making me tired. I'm gonna try to get some sleep again, and I suggest that you do too." Levi says pointedly, as he pushes Eren off the edge of his bed to pull the covers back and climbing in.

Eren hesitates for a little before he makes his way towards the door to his own bed, "Okay, goodnight Levi."

"Eren." Levi calls to him, and Eren pauses his actions immediately.

"Yeah?"

"Stop looking so much like a kicked puppy and get in here before I change my mind." Levi orders, looking positively bored and tired as he turns away from Eren to lie on his other side.

"Really? You really want me to sleep next to you?"

"Well, not particularly, but you don't look like you're quite ready to be left alone with your thoughts, so this is me being a caring 'friend' as you call it and offering an olive branch. Or in this instance, a side of the bed."

Eren allows himself a secret grin, before he eagerly climbs into the bed next to Levi. The man continues facing away from him, breathing evenly and deeply. Eren almost thinks his friend has already fallen asleep until Levi begins to speak again.

"You do know that I am though, right brat?" Levi asks sleepily.

"That you are what?" Eren replies with his own question, through a rather loud yawn.

"Glad to have you as a friend." Levi clarifies, and is almost certain that Eren will be able to see his flush travel up his bare neck even in the near complete darkness of the room. Eren simply grins in response, snuggling himself just a little bit closer to Levi.

"I'm glad to have you as a friend too, old man." Eren replies happily, throwing an arm over Levi's petite form as he fully settles for the night.

"As touched as I am by the sentiment, you better get that arm off me right now if you plan on keeping it. And stick to your side or I'll kick your ass out on to the cold floor."

Eren rolls his eyes in disdain, before turning away and falling into a deep, impenetrable sleep.

However, despite all of Levi's threats, the pair unconsciously find themselves gravitating towards eachother through the mask of slumber, wrapping their limbs together like vines and faces so close they almost tough, deep puffs of air passing between their open mouths as they sleep soundly, pleasantly oblivious to their much too close proximity and compromising position as they rest their foreheads together, gently rocked to sleep by the sound of their counterpart's breathing.

This is the way they are found the next day by Jean, who decided to stick his head in to Levi on the way to the kitchen to make tea and coffee. He chuckles lightly, shaking his head in amusement at his two friends before closing the bedroom door back over. He may or may not have also taken some damning photographs on him phone.