Chapter 30

Levi received the text at 6.45am from Armin asking him to meet up that same day, as he's now back home from work for a couple of weeks. The younger man obviously knowing Levi well enough to realise that his former Lance Corporal would have been up as soon as dawn broke this morning and that if he'd left it any longer, then Levi's schedule for the day would already have been set, and that the minor change would cause him far more anxiety than necessary.

In return, Levi accepted the invitation graciously and suggested they meet up at the little café that has become his favourite since moving to Shiganshina. They serve the best tea in town, although he hasn't told Eren that one yet. Armin agrees, and they arrange to meet up at 11am.

Eren is still dead to the world by the time Levi extracts himself from the bed, showers, has breakfast, dresses himself and is ready to leave. Levi hadn't gone to bed with Eren last night intentionally, in fact neither of them had slept in the same bed as the other since the night of the shooting, however upon hearing Eren's anguished screams and cries created from the horrors of his own head, Levi was out of his own bed and had wrapped his sobbing boyfriend in a comforting embrace between the sheets in a matter of minutes. He understood nightmares all too well, and knew it was the best he could do for Eren at that moment.

Aside from their impromptu sort-of snuggle session, nothing has really changed in terms of their relationship with eachother. With the exception of a few fleeting touches throughout the day – a large, supporting hand on his back as Levi cooks dinner, nimble fingers brushing his own as they walk down the street or a long leg nudging at him lovingly on the couch while watching TV - and the little pecks on the cheek Eren gives him on the days he's feeling brave enough, Levi can't think of anything they do all that differently from when they were strictly employer and employee, friends at the very most - although Eren did like to touch him then too.

Levi isn't sure what he'd expected in the weeks since the shooting, but after pushing his own boundaries and kissing Eren back in the way he did at the hospital, he'd at least thought things at this stage would be a just a little more….more? Levi isn't sure if Eren is simply embarrassed after being caught by his father or is trying to respect his boundaries by keeping their physical interactions at a minimum, but after everything they've been through, Levi would have thought Eren would realise that it's okay to be a little more affectionate. It's felt like forever since they had a proper kiss.

If he's being honest with himself, Levi has been desperate for a kiss from Rogue or Eren, at this point he doesn't think he would even care if Eren had shaved his face or not, he just wants to feel those soft, plump lips against his own once again. He doesn't quite understand what's made him feel so pathetic and needy all of a sudden, Levi has never been one to crave kissing, it's always been an inconsequential part of dating to him. And at times, it's even felt like a chore.

But kissing Rogue and feeling her gentle, inexperienced lips on his, her soft skin under his fingers and her breathy little gasps when they parted makes him want to feel more, to touch more, to breathe her in and smell her on his clothes for days to come. He knew in that moment that he felt nothing but pure, indescribable love, and that he wanted to hold on to it and keep it forever. He wanted to feel this way forever.

Kissing Eren was an entirely different experience altogether, but no less pleasurable, much to his own surprise. While his kiss with Rogue had been one of comfort, of love, a gift between two people expressing their inner most feelings for the first time, his kiss with Eren hadn't been filled with the innocent, self-consciousness they'd been feeling the night before. It had been playful, it had been kind of fun, and it had almost felt like a fight, not a real one, but one where there would be a clear winner eventually. Levi feels like if he were to spend more time kissing Eren, he'd want to win, he'd want it more than he wants anything else.

The idea of having the younger, sarcastic, cheeky little shit he adores begging him for mercy, mentally stripped of his cocky façade and wanting nothing more than Levi's approval. The sensation he feels when he thinks of it is heady, intoxicating, confusing and just a little bit scary. It's not often that Levi can say that he's frightened of his own feelings, but in this instance Levi is sure. He loves Rogue, he loves Eren, and he's completely, undeniably terrified of that very thought.

Love shouldn't be scary to Levi, or so he thinks, he's been in love before. He had loved Hange of course, but upon reflection, aside from the time he felt like he maybe would want to pursue something akin to a sexual relationship with her, the love he felt for her was always more like the love he felt for Izzy, the need to look after her, to protect her, to see her grow and succeed. He'd loved Rico too, but the more that he thinks about it, the more it begins to feel like maybe he had actually just wanted to love her, that he felt like he maybe could, but in the end it just fell short of what it should have been. The love he feels now is unlike anything he's ever felt in his life, he's never loved like this before.

Losing Hange had been sad, but felt almost right, like they were always supposed to be just friends and things were just correcting themselves. It had felt natural to go from being lovers to best friends. Losing Rico had been more of an annoyance, had come with the inconvenience of having to find a new place, to make new plans and erase the future he had in his head, one that he thought he could eventually have been happy in. But overall, it didn't really hurt, and it felt all too natural to go from being lovers to complete strangers. Losing Rogue…losing Eren would be like losing a part of himself, would be like trying to breathe without air, would be like living in this world alone after knowing what it's like to live as one half of a whole. Trying to walk away the first time had been enough proof of that. He hasn't lost them yet, but he knows that if he ever did, it would destroy him.

Levi allows himself the luxury of watching from the doorway as Eren snoozes the day away, completely oblivious of his surroundings. He sleeps now like he's afraid of the world, curled up into a tight ball as if trying to make himself as small as possible, and Levi can't help but remember the nights Rogue would be sprawled across the back seats of the car without a care in the world. It breaks Levi's heart a little to see that. Despite this, his face is peaceful, his hair coming away a little from the loose bun he'd tied it in last night and his lips still sticky with uncleaned lip gloss.

Even with the lack of physical attention that Levi had been expecting, Eren has still kept his word and has begun to dress more like Rogue these days. His wardrobe in the last several weeks has consisted of knitted sweaters, tight skinny jeans or flowing floral skirts, long wigs in various colours and light shades of make-up. It's definitely not Rogue level cross-dressing, but it's enough so that one would definitely have to look twice before concluding that the elegant, statuesque, pretty woman is in fact a lanky, fiercely masculine man wearing a skirt and with skin contoured to perfection.

What's most surprising to Levi, however, is the fact that Eren doesn't keep his cross-dressing to the walls of their home and has pretty much been in constant 'light drag' even when going grocery shopping or in the company of their friends. It had struck him slightly odd at first, as Levi had only expected Eren to dress more femininely around the house or when they eventually started going on dates, but Marco had put his mind at ease on the day he and Eren had helped Jean bring him back home from the hospital.

"He does this when he's overly stressed or anxious and doesn't have an outlet for it." Marco explained, "It shouldn't last too long, but it's kind of like a comfort for him. A security blanket, ya know? With the club being closed for now and that Nile guy postponing the tour for a little while with the attack, he's had no reason to get all dragged up, so it's not even like he can rely on Rogue right now. I wouldn't worry about it though he'll snap himself out of it eventually. And you can always come here and hang out for a while if it really bothers you."

It doesn't bother Levi, and he wanted to tell Marco that, but felt like he may let on more than he intended to in doing so, so he let it go and agreed to visit if things ever became too much. But Marco's explanation on the idea of Eren using his feminine side as a security blanket made complete sense to him, in more ways than he could express, and so from then on, he didn't find it strange nor did he question Eren about it.

Levi lets himself take a minute to watch Eren sleep for just a little while longer before he tears himself away from the doorway, leaves the house and heads off to meet Armin.

The blond is already sitting at Levi's regular booth in the corner when he arrives. It's amazing to Levi how well Armin knows him and his habits, he imagines that's just what happens when you spend so much time with somebody at their worst, you learn their traits, their ticks and what makes them who they are. Levi supposes he probably unconsciously knows the same about Armin and even the rest of his old team.

Levi locks eyes with Armin and nods in his direction before making his away over and slipping into the booth. Armin has allowed him the side that's directly against the wall, just like he would have chosen for himself.

"Morning Levi, I hope you don't mind but I took the liberty of ordering you a tea. Earl grey, tiny bit of milk, no sugar." Armin says by way of greeting, getting Levi's tea order to…well, a T.

"Thanks kid." Levi says, pulling his cup over and inspecting it before taking a sip. It's perfect.

"Sorry about the short notice, I wasn't supposed to get home until this evening, but I managed to catch a flight last night. And I wanted to meet with you as soon as possible, seeing as I wasn't able to get back after what happened at Maria's. How have you been by the way? And how's Eren holding up?" Armin asks, drinking white coffee from his own cup.

Levi nods, "I've been fine, you kind of get used to being shot at in our old line of work, you know? But Eren's been a little on edge, as I'm sure you're already aware. It was the first time he was directly confronted with the threat, and to see Marco go down like that…It's shaken him up pretty bad."

"He's been…different on the off chance I get to call him for a little. But I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. Sure, he's shaken up, but he also seems less likely to run off and do something completely reckless. I was always afraid that if it came down to it, Eren would end up getting himself killed just to make a point. Now that he's seen what the Titans can do in person and because he has you to think about, I don't think he'll be in such a rush to do that." Armin says as matter of fact, looking Levi straight in the eyes and taking another gulp of his coffee.

"What do you mean because of me? Eren doesn't have to worry about me." Levi states confused and Armin laughs a little, like he knows something Levi doesn't.

"He may not have to worry about you, but he still does. He cares about you, every time I call, he always brings you up. Says he can't get a read on you right now and it's stressing him out. He mentioned you came home after he got back from the hospital a few weeks ago and you were acting strange." Armin says, and Levi can't help but feel a little sheepish at that, it'd been the day he learned about Marcel, and Levi himself hadn't quite known how to handle that information.

"I may have been a little unintentionally cold with him recently, but it's not been anything to do with him. Not exactly. It's just been this whole situation, and I ended up getting some info that I hadn't been expecting, and I guess I just didn't deal with it very well. I haven't told Eren yet, and honestly, I don't even know how I can even bring up the conversation. But I know I can't keep it a secret, not after last time, he's been kept in the dark long enough." Levi says determined, his relationship with Eren is still new, and he's not about to start it off by lying to him, especially not about something that could potentially mean life or death for the younger man.

"I would have to agree, and by new information, I assume you are referring to Marcel Galliard?" Armin asks, surprising Levi and it must show on his face as Armin continues, "I spoke with Erwin not long after he met with your source. I didn't know Galliard, not really, he was a couple of years older than myself and Eren growing up, so we didn't really run in the same circles. I think Reiner and Bert knew him though. Even so, I wouldn't have pegged him for a killer, especially not after having a look at his file."

Of course, with Armin's position, he'll have all the clearances for any system anyone could possibly need to get right into the core of someone. Hell, Armin probably has complete access to all the shit that could be potentially dragged up about him. It makes complete sense that Erwin would go to him about something as delicate as this.

"It doesn't bother me, not in the way you might think." Levi justifies, "I'm not judging Eren, I already knew he dealt coke and whatever else, he told me months ago about all of that. His past is his past and there's nothing anybody can do to change it. We all have our own demons, as you know yourself. It's just that I can't get to the bottom of why this is happening. It's almost certain that Galliard is responsible for shooting Marco, and there's no doubt in my mind that this whole thing is connected to Eren, but it's like there's a whole section missing. Something I'm not completely understanding, and I don't know how to get there. It's frustrating."

"That's actually why I wanted to meet with you today." Armin explains, "Please don't take this the wrong way, you know that I only have the utmost respect for you and for Erwin, you've done fantastically in protecting Eren and getting all of that information together with the limited resources you have at your disposal. But from today, I need you both to take a step back, I've had all of Erwin's prior accesses revoked – he won't be punished for using it, so don't worry about that – and I'll be taking over this case starting now."

Levi's eyes widen in response and Armin splutters to justify himself before Levi gets too angry with him, "I'm not saying you have to leave or anything, not at all, you still have business here after all. You'll still guard Eren as normal, take him to his scheduled activities, accompany and live with him as normal. Nothing will change in that regard; I just need you to let me handle the Titan investigation..."

"Whoa, calm down, I'm not mad or offended or anything. I'm just surprised is all, I didn't think this would be your forte. I was certain you were 100% focused on the…Underground." He says the last word just a little bit quieter than the rest of his sentence. You really can never know.

"I am, but you said so yourself, I could look for an eternity and never find them. And this case affects my nearest and dearest, it's only natural for me to do my part to protect them in the ways that I can. We've already lost Bert, we almost lost Marco…I'm not ready to lose Eren, or you for that matter. And if that means putting the Underground case aside for now, then that's what I'm going to do." Armin states confidently, looking so different now to the unsure, nervous, little pipsqueak with the mushroom cut he remembers.

"Okay, that's fair and I admire that, but won't the police have something to say about you taking this case out from under their noses? Last I checked, the police in this country are good for nothing assholes, but they'll fight anyone who looks to belittle them." Levi says, and Armin drains his cup before shrugging his shoulders.

"There's nothing they can do about it, and it's not like they've managed to do anything worthwhile in all this time. You and Erwin managed to work more out after one night than they have in the last 6 months since the first attack. And anyway, Trost, Karanes and Shiganshina? As far as the authorities are concerned, this organisation has crossed borders. And the fact that these are hate crimes specifically targeted against the LGBT community…that makes it a form of terrorism. Therefore, this case is mine if I want it. My team sent the request yesterday and we got the approval before I even left Stohess. In all honesty, I think the police were probably relieved to see it go."

"You're probably right about that." Levi replies, "But are you sure this is what you want to do? You've spent your entire career devoted to catching the Underground. I'm not saying you shouldn't do this; I'm just asking if you're really ready to just let them go?"

"Yes." Armin answers, sounding surer than ever, "Because it's time. I've been spending years trying to find them, thinking that if I did, I'd somehow find some closure on it all. But if I'm being truthful with myself, it'd probably just mess me up even more having nothing left to chase. And I can always pick the case up again in the future, they'll always be out there. But this? I can do this. I can do it well, and I really think I have a chance of putting a stop to the Titans. But I'm going to need your help."

"My help?" Levi asks confused, "What do you need me to do?"

"I need you, and Erwin too, to be my informants. You hear something, find something, or even just have a hunch? I want you to let me know about it. You think someone is being suspicious or you suspect there's danger, I wanna know who and where. Only you two can do that, your instincts are sharp and unlike the others, you know what to look for. I need you to stay out of the investigation, but I want you to always let me know if something doesn't feel right. I trust you both more than anything on that." Armin implores, hands clasped tightly and resting on the little table in front of him. Levi finishes his tea with two more gulps and answers.

"My instincts and intuition have failed me, have failed us, in the past. But if you'll let me, I'll do everything I can to make it up to you by doing this. I want to protect Eren, I want him to be healthy, happy and safe, and I can't ensure he'll be able to strive in a world where the Titans exist. I want them gone; I want them eradicated. So, I'll do what I can to help you make sure that happens. For Eren…for everyone." Levi states without hesitation and Armin gives him a knowing smile.

"Thank you, Levi, it means so much to me that you're willing to…go to so much trouble for my best friend." Armin says teasingly, and Levi hears the implication in his statement and sees the mischievous glint in the younger man's eyes. He's always been too smart for his own good, Levi thinks, but he decides not to take the bait.

"Well, it's my job, and he's become rather important to me too. But I must say, I'm rather impressed with you Arlert, you've always been intelligent, always been resourceful, but now you're strong too. You've overcome so much, and you're still so determined. If anyone can bring down the Titans kid, I believe it will be you. Seriously brat, I'm proud of you." Levi says honestly, giving Armin a ghost of a smile, the most he's given anyone who's not Eren in the last 5 years almost.

Armin flushes under the praise and can't quite bring himself to meet his former superior's eyes directly, "Thank you Lance Corporal, that means a hell of a lot coming from you."

Levi simply nods, and nothing more is said on the matter. They do order another drink each and begin talking about life in general, the pair of them more than just a little grateful that they get the opportunity to do this at all.

Levi parks up the car just outside the house at around 2.30pm, Armin had to meet up with Annie so they could visit a few possible venues for their wedding, so they said their goodbyes after chatting for a little while longer.

After his long conversation with Eren's best friend, he's been mulling it over and is beginning to believe that Eren's distance has probably been due to the unintentional stormy vibe he's been giving off as of late. Between his confusion over the Titans' game plan and his frustration at not being able to put the pieces together, Levi knows he's been less than inviting towards his younger boyfriend.

He plans on making it up to Eren by making him dinner. Now that the case has been taken on by somebody he trusts implicitly, he feels like he can afford to be a little more sensitive towards Eren's needs. It's not his fault that Levi has been going out of his mind on this, he doesn't even know all of the details and part of Levi's plan for tonight is also to break it to Eren gently. The last thing he needs is for Eren becoming more scared or anxious than he's already been. Levi can't afford to keep it to himself, but he also wants to make sure Eren feels safe and comfortable in the knowledge that the people he loves are all behind him and ready to take action at any given moment.

Levi unlocks the front door before closing it behind him with a click, the living room and kitchen are empty, so he assumes Eren is either still sleeping or hanging out in his room. He sets the grocery bags down in the kitchen and makes his way out into the hall, through to where Eren's room is located.

Eren's bedroom door is wide open, but the room is empty, much to Levi's surprise. However, his own bedroom door is open too, despite the fact he's sure he'd closed it over earlier. There isn't much in terms of sound, so he decides to proceed with caution as he makes his way to the doorway before looking inside.

What he sees stops his heart completely for several seconds.

Eren is sitting cross-legged on the floor, wearing a long, grey hoodie, tight black shorts and thigh high black socks. His hood is up and he's wearing a blonde wig, the curls of which are poking out of the front. But none of that is what's alarming to Levi.

In front of Eren, with a very noticeable tear in the bottom, is the last cardboard box that had been shipped to Levi from Trost. It looks as if Eren had picked it up to move it, and the bottom just caved in on itself, spilling the entire contents of the box all over the floor for Eren to see. It's not his fault, Levi had planned to unpack it before now, but other things had gotten in the way.

Eren's eyes are wide and confused as he looks up from the floor and locks eyes with his paler than usual boyfriend standing stock-still in the doorway of his own room.

"Levi…w-what is all this?" Eren asks uncertainly, and Levi has no idea what to say. There's only one word at the forefront of his mind, and it's not going to do him any good to say it out loud. So, he simply chants it over and over in his head as he figures out a way to explain himself.

Shit.