Chapter 32

When Levi wakes the next morning, he is all alone and surprisingly in his own bed. The last thing he can properly remember is falling asleep with Eren curled up next to him on the floor. Eren must have somehow gotten him into bed at some point during the night, but whether he stayed with him or not, Levi can't immediately tell.

Levi reaches onto his nightstand for his phone and sees that it's just a little after 9am, which is late for him but not so much that he feels like he's slept half the day away. With a stretch, he forces himself to leave his warm, comfortable bed and clambers around to find something to wear. He's still wearing his shirt and slacks from the day prior, Eren hadn't attempted to undress him while he was sleeping – which he's thankful for – and only removed his shoes before putting him to bed.

He also realises upon getting out of bed that the clothes that had all fallen out of the box have now been picked up off the floor and have been arranged neatly on top of his dresser, folded and separated by colour, the way he likes them. Eren has obviously picked up some of Levi's habits when it comes to the way he arranges his clothes, and the sight makes him smirk in silent amusement.

Levi begins rummaging through his drawers to find some loungewear, as Eren has nothing scheduled for today with the club still being closed and he will be filming a little bit later in the day anyway. He finds a pair of soft, grey pants that he likes to wear, but can't find a clean shirt. He considers going without but seeing as it's almost winter he feels like that would just leave him cold and uncomfortable. He resolves to have another look in his drawers when the lavender sweater at the very top of his 'special' clothes pile catches his eye.

It's one of his favourites in fact, it's fluffy and frayed in little patches due to the amount of times he's worn it, it was one of the first sweaters he ever bought for himself when he first got his own place. The colour was originally what tempted him to add it to his ever-growing collection, but the texture and feel of the fabric in his hands is what sold it for him, and he found himself buying it before he could even come up with an excuse about it in his head.

When Levi picks it up, it feels just as soft and comforting as he remembers, and it still vaguely smells like the detergent he'd used to wash it all those months prior. He holds it up to his nose and breathes in the familiar scent, making sure to keep one eye on the door at the same time until he remembers that he doesn't have to. Nobody here is about to judge him for this, the only person here is Eren and he's made it perfectly clear that Levi doesn't have to hide from him.

It takes around 5 minutes of internal debate before Levi actually takes the plunge and pulls the sweater over his head, tugging it down his sculpted torso before it rests just on his thighs. It's around 2 or 3 sizes too big, so it still fits how he likes it despite the small amount of weight he's put on recently. In fact, he reckons it probably fits a little better now seeing as the sleeves actually rest on his shoulders and not halfway down an arm like they usually do. He'd only really planned to try it on and see if it still fit his body, but now that it's on, he really doesn't want to take it off again. He's waited for months to have his comfort clothing reach him; he feels he deserves a little bit of indulgence.

Casually, he puts on the grey sweats and lets the sweater hang loosely over them, it's a comfortable ensemble so he decides "Fuck it" and shoves his dirty clothes in the laundry basket for later. Normally, with one of his sweaters he'd only ever wear a pair of warm socks and underwear – either from his own closet or from his stash – to roam around his apartment back in Trost, however he's fully aware of the fact he's not alone here. And although Eren is probably the most supportive person in his life, and the person he's currently in a romantic relationship with, he's not quite ready to go that far yet.

Allowing himself one last look in the mirror, he ruffles his hair before sighing and making his way out of the bedroom and through to the living area. When he enters the kitchen, the smell of burning hits him first, and he looks over to find Eren filling two mugs of coffee while the toaster steams rather worryingly in the back. The younger doesn't seem to notice at all, so Levi decides to cut the power and four very charred slices of toast ping out immediately.

It's only then Eren notes Levi's sudden appearance in the kitchen, he's still wearing the same outfit as yesterday sans the wig Levi notes, his long brunet hair tied in his signature, messy bun instead.

"Ah crap! I forgot I'd put them in already." Eren explains, tittering nervously as he plucks two of the ruined pieces of bread from the still scorching toaster and holding them by the tips of his fingers before dropping them into the trash.

"Jesus Eren, you couldn't smell the fucking burning from two feet away? Stupid brat, god help me if the house is ever on fire or you have a stroke." Levi says with disdain, "What were you even doing?"

"I was making toast." Eren says dumbly, and Levi rolls his eyes in exasperation.

"Well no shit, I meant why were you so stressed out that you forgot about that?" Levi nods to the second slices of toast Eren pinches from the toaster, "I know that your brain doesn't properly function until around 3 in the afternoon, but you don't normally try and kill us this early in the morning."

Eren chuckles a little at Levi's annoyed expression, "Well if you must know, I got up for a drink last night and noticed all of the groceries you'd bought yesterday still on the counter. The bag had all of the ingredients for that pasta thing you make…that one I love…so I assumed you were planning on making us dinner. I thought that it would be only fair for me to make breakfast for us."

Levi is about scoff and make a comment about the shitty attempt when he notices Eren is staring at his own socked feet in embarrassment, and so not to make the poor boy feel any worse about it, he shakes his head fondly and reaches over to pat him on the shoulder. Eren looks up at him when he does.

"Well I really appreciate the thought, and I'll still make you that dinner later if you want it." Levi offers and Eren nods his head with a happy smile, which in turn makes Levi feel all gooey inside, "Okay, now that's sorted, pass me the eggs from the fridge?"

Eren does as he's asked and Levi wastes no time in whipping them up some omelettes to eat instead, the toaster is still slightly smoking, and he doesn't want to risk it bursting into flames. He already has enough burn scarring to last him a lifetime, thank you very much. Whilst he's frying them in the pan, he feels a solid pressure at his back, and realises that Eren is standing directly behind him, and then suddenly two large hands are resting on his waist through his sweater.

"You look really good today, Levi." Eren murmurs next to his ear, and the tone of his voice makes the hairs on the back of Levi's neck stand up. The hands are grasping at his sweater lightly, and Levi knows that's what Eren is referring to.

"I…I had nothing clean to wear. I need to do some laundry." Levi remarks, trying to focus his attention on the task at hand and not the feel of Eren's breath on his bare neck.

"I already did it. Emptied our baskets this morning and the clothes are just drying now. You should have a clean shirt in another couple hours if you really want it. Or you could always borrow something of mine if you need it." Eren assures him, and Levi knows the younger man is offering him an out if he's feeling too uncomfortable dressed this way in front of him. It surprises Levi how comfortable he actually IS all things considered.

"No, it's okay. I don't mind, it's a little cold in here anyway." Levi says, and he can practically feel Eren's grin at his words.

"Yeah, you're right. Not to mention you look so cute today, wrapped up all nicely in your sweater…so warm…and sexy…" Eren whispers before touching his lips to the juncture between Levi's neck and shoulder. Levi gasps in surprise when he feels Eren kissing him there, and almost loses his breath entirely when Eren wraps his long arms around Levi's middle and snuggles into him.

"You're gonna make me b-burn the food, idiot. Then what would we eat?" Levi asks, trying to maintain a sense of control in the situation, all the while cursing himself for stuttering over his own words.

"I don't know about you, but I have something rather delicious right here." Eren says in a sultry voice before leaning down and bravely licking a stripe from Levi's shoulder all the way up to the man's pulse point in his neck. Levi shivers at the contact and Eren giggles in his ear at the reaction.

"Eren…" Levi begins breathily, "I am…holding a spatula…and I won't hesitate to beat your ass with it if you don't let me cook these damn omelettes in peace."

"Kinky." Eren jokes before untangling himself from Levi's body, grabbing his coffee and moving to sit on the sofa. There is a sit-com playing on the TV that they've both seen a before, but Eren still laughs loudly every now and then at the jokes, and Levi can't help it when he silently chuckles under his breath along with him.

Turns out some of Eren's habits have been rubbing off on him too, he thinks fondly.

"Mikasa isn't coming today." Eren says grumpily from his spot on the couch, scowling at his phone as if it's the thing's fault as Levi washes their used dishes in the connected kitchen after he's FINALLY managed to make them both breakfast with no further incident.

"Was she supposed to be?" Levi asks as he cleans the final plate, before stacking it away with the others.

"Yeah, she was meant to be featured on my video for today. I spent my last one talking about what happened at the club, gave an update on Marco, and confirmed the new dates for the tour. I said that I would do a special one this time around to make up for the lack of new content recently." Eren explains, before remarking, "I don't know what's been going on with her for the last few weeks, she's been really moody and colder than usual…has Erwin said anything about it?"

"Not to me, no." Levi says, shrugging his shoulders as he takes a seat on the sofa next to Eren. In fact, now that he thinks about it, everything has gone silent on the Mikasa front from Erwin. After they started seeing eachother a couple of months ago, Levi could hardly get his best friend to shut up about his boyfriend's sister and how amazing she is, but on the odd occasion he does get to speak to Erwin these days, there's been nothing. Maybe it didn't work out, relationships are hard, especially long-distance ones.

"Hmm, it's weird. Ever since Hannes retired and gave her the shop, something has felt wrong. She was always so excited by the prospect of owning her own business, it seemed weird that she wasn't happier when he told her it was hers." Eren frowns, "Anyway, it means I now can't do what I had planned, and I have nothing lined up as a back-up."

"What were you planning on doing?" Levi asks curiously, wrapping an arm around Eren's shoulders so that the boy can lean into him as he laments on his now ruined video.

"I was going to do a drag make-up tutorial. I've done a couple on my own before but some of my viewers have commented that it's hard to do on other people when they're so used to doing it on themselves. So, I thought I could make a video on it, and Mikasa has been hounding me to teach her proper drag make-up for years now, I thought it could be two birds with one stone that way."

Levi nods in understanding, he's heard Mikasa chirping on at Eren to teach her his routine on many occasions himself, so it is rather surprising that she would pass up such an opportunity. They'll see her at dinner tomorrow anyway, he can maybe try and get some answers out of her then about her recent mood.

"Okay, well why don't you just do something else? You could…play another game or something?" Levi suggests lamely, and Eren shakes his head sadly before his eyes begin to light up, and Levi knows that somehow, he's about to be roped into something he hadn't been anticipating when he woke up this morning.

"Levi, I've just had the best idea…" Eren begins with a shit-eating grin.

"I highly doubt it but go on." Levi deadpans.

"Well, I was thinking that seeing as Mika isn't going to be here today, I could put off the tutorial for a little while BUT…you're a drag make-up newbie…"

"I think I see where this is going."

"Levi…can I please take your drag make-up virginity?" Eren asks seriously, holding Levi's hands in his own and staring directly in the older man's eyes.

"Let me think about that one for a second. No." Levi answers, taking his hands back and swatting Eren away when the younger starts pouting and making grabby hands at him.

"Oh please! I have nothing else I can do today, and you know my viewers love you! It'll be a hit! And besides, if I don't do your make-up first, Marco will do it at some point anyway!" Eren argues and Levi raises his good eyebrow at him.

"And what makes you think I'll let Marco do it?" Levi questions incredulously.

"It's not a matter of letting him, he'll convince you somehow. He's even done Connie's before." Eren says, and Levi can't help but grimace at that, "He does NOT make a pretty woman, by the way."

"Tch, I could have told you that brat. But that doesn't change anything, no one will be putting make-up on me, not you, not Marco, not anyone. I let you do ONE video, and that was for light make-up only." Levi states, folding his arms in solidity.

"Sweetie, I'm not going to make you look stupid or anything. If I'm being honest, I think you'd look pretty incredible. But ultimately, it's your decision, I'm not going to force you if you really don't want to do it." Eren promises, raising his hands in surrender.

"It's so many people Eren…it would be different if it were just you and me…" Levi says uncomfortably, eyes gazing at the floor and refusing to look into Eren's mismatched ones out of fear of making promises he's too coward to act upon.

This has Eren thinking for a moment, and his face has such a strange expression that Levi has to question it after a few seconds.

"What are you looking at me like that for, brat? Don't be trying to think too hard now or you might hurt yourself." Levi teases and Eren rolls his eyes before nudging Levi lightly on the shoulder.

"Rude. But no, I was just thinking that it wouldn't be a terrible idea to postpone the video until tomorrow. I'll update my Twitter and it'll give me some time to think a little longer about what I want to do instead. And while I doubt that she'll agree, I can even see if Mikasa would want to film tomorrow before dinner…but I do have one favour I would like to ask of you." Eren says uncertainly as Levi gives him a curious look.

"And what would that be, kid?" Levi asks, resting back against the sofa in relief, safe in the knowledge he won't be expected to be thrust in front of a camera today.

"I would still like to put make-up on you, proper make-up, not drag exactly. Just the two of us, no cameras, no prying eyes. What do you say?" Eren asks, nervous to the reaction of his usually surly, once homophobic boyfriend, wringing his hands together awkwardly to give himself something to do.

Levi stares at Eren for what feels like an eternity before sighing loudly in defeat, "You promise not to make me look stupid?"

Eren positively beams at him from the inside out, "I promise!"

"You have to sit still, or I'll mess it up and have to start all over again, you don't want that do you?"

"But it feels weird, who the fuck puts this shit on their face every single fucking day?" Levi grumbles, flinching every time Eren touches the cold, black, liquid liner to his eyelids. No one mentioned anything about black liquids going anywhere near his eyes, or that it would be cold for that matter.

"Baby, I'm serious." Eren says through an exasperated laugh, "I'm going to get this all over you and it'll ruin your sweater, lets not have that happen today."

"Well excuse me for being a little nervous at foreign, black things getting liquid all over my face!" Levi complains and grimaces when he hears Eren's snort at his poor choice of words, "Oh, be a grown-up Eren!"

"Then be a man and suck it up dude!" Eren retorts, holding Levi's head still with his free hand as he continues painting the winged liner on Levi's lids.

They had gotten Levi's foundation and concealer on without incident, Eren's done it so many times now to cover his scarring and to fill in his eyebrow, that it's become almost second nature for the pair of them. Levi hadn't complained about the blusher or highlighter either, letting Eren do his thing with very little disdainful commentary, although he had remarked on Eren pointing some weird, brown stick in his face when it was time to contour. Eren had wiggled his eyebrows and earned himself a light smack upside the head for that one.

Eren has chosen a shimmery, rose pink for Levi's eyelids, and it compliments his beautifully pale skin in such a lovely way that even Eren himself is surprised at how nice it looks on his boyfriend. As Eren's skin is a fair amount darker than Levi's pallor, he normally uses peachy colours on his face, while Levi definitely suits the pinker tones much better. The black winged liner, once it's complete, successfully makes his sharp, steel eyes pop and Eren can't help but grin at the result.

The last step of the make-up process is Levi's lips, and while he'd originally planned on giving him a sexy, rouge red to compliment his white skin and ebony hair, he feels a deep plum colour will really enhance Levi's dark, illustrious attitude instead. A killer combination, if he says so himself.

"Okay, I know this colour is dark, but it will look amazing, trust me." Eren assures him, as he unscrews the lipstick and begins painting Levi's lips with it.

"I'm here aren't I?" Levi says while trying not to move his lips at all, proving as more of a challenge than he'd first anticipated.

Eren chuckles before wiping the backs of his fingers of the lipstick that had transferred on to them accidentally in Levi's attempted to speak and grabs a couple of tissues to clean Levi's neck of any dark patches. Eren pulls back and tilts Levi's head this way and that, scrunching his face up a little, an action which worries Levi just a little if he's honest.

"Shit brat, if I'm that hideous you can just clean it off you know?" Levi says with a scowl, and a hint of self-consciousness if Eren is not mistaken.

"No, sorry it's not that. I just…I'd like to try something if that's alright with you?" Eren asks, and Levi gives him an exasperated look.

"What the fuck do you think we're doing here? If you're going to do something, just do it!" Levi complains and Eren laughs at his annoyed, make-up covered face.

"Alright, jeez, I'll be back in a minute!" Eren announces, kissing Levi's cheek gently before leaving the room. "No peeking!" He calls from the hallway as an afterthought, and Levi pulls his hand back to his lap with a sigh.

When Eren returns to Levi's room, he's holding some things behind his back and makes a beeline so that he's standing behind Levi's chair instead. Levi is about to ask what the fuck he's doing until he can feel something tight being pulled on to his head, covering his thick, black hair entirely. His eyes widen, and he reaches up to feel that Eren has placed one of his wigs caps on to his head and is currently sticking pins in his hair to keep it in place.

"Ouch, watch what you're doing moron!" Levi grouches and Eren murmurs a quick apology, not stopping what he's doing for a second. Levi wants to ask why his boyfriend is putting a wig on him, but it seems stupid to ask now, considering how far they've gone today. Fuck, if any of his friends or old squad could see him now…

Before Levi can think on it any further, Eren is fitting a long wig on to his head and de-tangling it as he pulls strands of fake hair out of Levi's face. The hair reaches to just past his shoulders, is incredibly thick and it's about as black as his own hair naturally. He fiddles with it a little in confusion as Eren begins running a brush through it to fix it.

"What the fuck Eren? Is this yours?" Levi asks, scowling at the long black hair he's touching with his hands.

"I ordered it, but I've never worn it. Black hair doesn't really suit me. I thought it would be a nice touch to your new make-up." Eren says brightly, and finishes fixing the wig, kneeling in front of Levi's face to brush the fringe and fiddle with the long waves so that they sit naturally against his shoulders.

"You look so beautiful…you're breath-taking." Eren whispers in wonder, eyes wide and mouth agape as he takes in the sight of Levi sitting staring at him with a raised brow and bewildered look on his face. Levi is pretty sure that the boy's skin has taken on a shade that wouldn't be too far from lobster red on the colour spectrum.

"Well then why don't you show me then? Dumb shit." Levi complains with no real bite, and Eren can't help but grin before taking Levi's hand and leading him to the full-length mirror in his own bedroom. When Levi manages to finally take a good look at his reflection, his silver eyes widen in shock.

He looks like a woman. A real woman.

His face is contoured and highlighted in a way that sharpens his features so that he could easily pass for a model on one those glossy, fashion magazines that Eren buys on occasions. His cheeks have a natural pink blush that's been meticulously applied, they almost glow and sparkle with the white highlighter that's been smeared on perfectly and his eyelids are a girly, rose pink with black eyeliner that gives him an almost cat-like look. His lips that were once thin and pretty non-existent are now full and pouty, lined darkly and stained with a gorgeous plum that gives him the appearance of a real femme-fatale. The long, dark locks complete his look by framing his face and helps to cover some of the broadness of his shoulders, giving them the illusion of being slight and rather feminine.

"I…I look…" Levi begins, and Eren comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist once again.

"You look perfect." Eren says with certainty, placing his head on one of Levi's shoulder and kissing his jawline, "If I were straight, you'd be rejecting my ass right about now."

Levi stares at himself in the mirror, turning his head at different angles and watching the movements curiously. He brings his hands up to his face and back down as if simply trying to prove that it is in fact him in the mirror. He can't quite put his finger on how the knowledge that the stunning woman in the mirror is in fact him makes him feel, but it's certainly not something he's ever felt before.

"I…didn't think it would be like this…I didn't think it would feel so…" Levi cuts himself off, struggling to find the right words in the myriad of emotions he hadn't expected to feel in this situation.

"Weird? Empowering? Familiar almost?" Eren asks knowingly, and Levi nods his assent.

"Yeah, it's…kind of…like I know her already. Does that make me sound stupid?" Levi asks and Eren shakes his head with a smile.

"Not at all. She's always been there, a part of you when you've needed it most. You've brought her out to act as your shield even when you didn't know it yourself. And now you can wear her physically if you choose to, like armour, and nobody can ever take that away from you." Eren says, and finally Levi understands.

He can finally see why Eren needs Rogue, how she's become such a big part of his life, of who he is. Because while they are different people physically and, in some instances, mentally, they are still entirely one in the same. One mind, one body, but with one being worn as a disguise when things become too hard, too draining, too real. Eren has been using Rogue this whole time to ground himself, to feel like he can take on the whole damn world and reach his full potential with just a smattering of lip gloss. And in this moment, right in front of this mirror, in partial drag and sweatpants, for the first time in his life, Levi feels like he can do anything.

Levi turns his head so that he's looking away from the mirror for the first time since he's seen his reflection and brings his small hand up to caress Eren's cheek. And without hesitation, disgust or anything even akin to uneasiness in this moment, he pulls Eren closer and gives him a soft, chaste, loving kiss on his willing lips.

The kiss deepens just a little without pushing too far, Levi is in full control and is not about to let it get out of hand while he's having an epiphany, he's afraid he might frighten it away. However, Eren doesn't fight him, simply allowing himself to be led and he pulls back just as soon as he feels Levi pulling away to look into his eyes.

"I love you Eren Jaeger." Levi declares, without even a hint of uncertainty, "Thank you."

Eren gapes at him a little for a second before breaking out into his signature grin and nuzzling at Levi's nose with his own.

"You're very welcome. And right back at you." Eren says before pulling Levi closer so that the smaller man can lean back against him and continue looking at the reflection of his new self for however long he wants.

"You know, you may want to come up with a name…if you want to, that is." Eren suggests and Levi rolls his eyes, "No, I'm serious! You might find it helpful to give a name to the way you're feeling when you want to…when you feel like this." Eren says, choosing his words carefully so not to spook the older man, this is still very new to him after all.

"Tch, maybe… what would you suggest?" Levi asks with a raised eyebrow, his new look making Eren feel like he's being scolded by a sexy female teacher. Before today, Eren would have said he was 100% gay, but right now he's not so sure…maybe it's just a Levi thing. Levisexual, he thinks, laughing to himself.

"I don't know…maybe Warrior? Or Hope? Ahh I have it! Humanity's Strongest!" Eren suggests and Levi pulls out of the younger man's grasp.

"Shut the fuck up, what are you 12?" Levi scoffs, "How on Earth did you come up with something as good as Rogue when you have the imagination of a pre-pubescent teenager?"

"I don't know dude, I just thought about the way she made me feel. It's a rather personal thing, so you may want to think of something on your own. All I knew back then is that Rogue made me feel like I didn't have to change myself to fit into a mould, I could be something different, step outside the crowd, you know? That's where the idea for her name came from." Eren explains, and Levi finds himself sighing, it makes sense but he's unsure of how he could even go about doing that for himself.

Levi takes a long look at himself again, thinking of all the times he's felt the way he does right now. He can picture them…when he was first accepted into the military despite his less than average height, how he pulled himself up from the ground, raising himself through the ranks until he gained the power and respect he deserves, fighting back in that hell hole when all his captors wanted to do was make him suffer, protecting Rogue Jaeger and not letting her fall to the hands of the scum making their attempts on her life…falling in love with Eren Jaeger despite what he grew up hearing about 'fags' from his Uncle Kenny, despite what he thought he knew after watching as Armin was violated in front of him, despite what he always thought about himself.

Those moments are what have carried Levi through his life, making him stronger, smarter and more powerful than he could imagine. He thinks of the times he's heard the ideals of those around him and has worked to fight them, to become anti-them, and to stand taller than the tallest buildings, despite his miniscule build. And suddenly, he doesn't have to think anymore, he knows his name. He knows it's the right one. Has always known it.

"Leviathan."