Sol Invictus
Chapter Seven: Like Cats and Dogs
"L-luffy-san! What are you doing? Please take me back!"
Luffy paused from where she stood in front of the stone fence and said, "Do you really want to return to that place? You'll be alone all over again."
"I wouldn't be alone, Klahadore is there! He must be worried about me..."
"That butler coddles you so much that it's oppressing; it's obvious he makes you feel even more lonely. When was the last time you went outside these walls? When was the last time you went on an adventure?" There was shouting from the far side of the garden and Luffy gave Kaya a serious look. "If you really want to go back, I'll take you, but after this, there won't be another chance."
The girl hesitated. "Luffy-san…" She clutched her hands together and glanced down to her lap and said, "I want... I want to go outside! But that would be selfish of me... leaving everyone to worry like this... What - what should I do?"
"Kaya, I can't tell you that. Only you can make your decisions."
The shouts grew closer. Soon, the guards would upon them, and the choice would be taken out of Kaya's hands, because though Luffy could beat them all up, she doubted the girl would want to see such a thing.
"Luffy-san, I... I..."
"Kaya-sama!"
Knuckles white from her grip, Kaya said, "Please take me outside!"
Luffy grinned widely at her. "Alright! Hold on tight!"
Kaya squeezed her eyes shut and clutched tightly onto the pirate as she stretched her arm to grab the top of the fence. Wrapping the other arm around her fragile cargo, she shot off over the wall like a rocket, wind tearing at their clothes and hair.
"It's almost like we're flying..." Kaya murmured softly, glancing around at the view below with awe.
"Shishishi! It's nice, right?"
The girl smiled and nodded, closing her eyes to enjoy the rush of wind. There was the briefest jolt as Luffy's feet touched ground, but then she was off again without time for breath.
Kaya wasn't wearing any shoes, but that was even better, because she could feel the tickle of plush grass between her toes. A butterfly's wing brushed against her cheek, the velvety texture of a cow's nose nudged under her hand. It smelled of dew and sweet flowers, the breeze gentle in its caress as she twirled slowly, her dress fanning out around her.
Kaya laughed, breathless from the easy contentment that was leaking into her pores.
"Good?"
She turned to Luffy - just Luffy, the girl had insisted - to smile so widely that her eyes crinkled too. "Good!"
And the girl grinned back.
For the first time in a long while, Kaya forgot about the weakness in her limbs and the worries constantly plaguing her thoughts and just laughed.
They were a strange sight, the two of them, one barefooted and the other shuffling along with too-small sandals. Neither of them were overly bothered by this, too busy laughing carelessly with each other.
"And then gramps was all," the barefooted girl's face twisted into a caricature of anger, and her voice went as deep as she could make it. "'AAAACCCCCEEEEE! COME BACK HERE YOU DAMNED BRAT! I'LL KILL YOU!' and then he chased him all over the forest with syrup on his face! And when he came back, his face was all red and swollen from being bitten by sugarflies!" Using her rubber abilities, the girl puffed parts of her face out to mime the image.
The sight set the other girl into peals of laughter. "Ha! Ahahaha! Hahahaha!"
Luffy paused when she spotted a weirdo walking backwards towards them, holding his hat.
"Ara? Who's that freaky person?" she asked, letting her face snap back to normal. She caught a glimpse of an elongated chin.
Oh. It's him.
And an idea sparked.
"Hey, Kaya," she began.
The other girl turned to her curiously, a smile still playing along her lips. "Yes?"
"If you could wish for anything in this world, what would it be?"
The smile fell as Kaya folded into herself, clearly thinking of her parents. But then she straightened her shoulders and Luffy couldn't help but to feel proud. "I would… I would wish that I wouldn't be such a burden to everyone anymore."
Luffy grinned mischieviously at her. "That's great to know." She turned to the approaching Jango and cupped her hands around her mouth to yell, "OI! Strange mister! Who are you?"
"Ah?" Jango stopped and looked left and right. "Are you talking to me, little girl?"
"Of course! You're suuuuper weird looking!"
"I'll have you know that I'm not weird looking at all," he said, moonwalking closer until he faced them. "I'm just a passing hypnotist!"
"Wow!" Luffy said, her eyes sparkling. Kaya giggled at her. "A real one?"
"Of course I'm a real one!"
"A real real one?"
He was beginning to look a little annoyed. "Shut up! I'm a real real real one!"
"Then prove it! I want you to hypnotise my friend here!"
"Eh?" the blonde yelped, a little alarmed.
Luffy grabbed the guy's sleeve and pulled Jango a little ways away to whisper to him with her back turned to Kaya. They returned not even half a minute later, Luffy with a delighted smile on her face.
"Shishishi, don't worry Kaya, it'll be awesome!"
"Just so you know, I'm not going to do what you told me to," Jango snapped. He then held up his chakram and began to swing it side to side. "Look at this ring. When I say 'One, Two, Jango', you'll be cured of your illness and have the strength to overcome your grief!"
The blonde gave Luffy a shocked look, only to receive a smile in return and a motion that directed her gaze back on the swaying ring.
"One, Two... Jango!"
Kaya took a deep breath. Expelled it. Another inhale. Another exhale. In, out, in, out, and then she burst with joy because the itch her lungs was gone. The weakness that had sunk in her very bones was gone.
Her grief was not gone but it no longer felt so overwhelming and she knew she could move past this trial, and oh!
"Uhyahahya!" the stranger exclaimed, putting his hands to his hips. "I feel healthier than ever!"
"Thank you!" she said, throwing her arms around the suddenly alarmed looking man. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
"Er." He awkwardly patted her back. "You're welcome?"
But Kaya had already released her grip (and did he look a little disappointed? It was probably her imagination). "Luffy!" She gripped her new friend as tightly as she could. A few minutes earlier, that wouldn't have been much, but now… "Thank you so much! Whatever you need, I'll gladly give it to you! Thank you!"
Luffy laughed and hugged her right back, even going so far as to lift her and spin her around. "That's great! Now that you're better, don't you want to go show anyone?"
"Yes! Yes! I want to see Usopp-san!"
"Nishishi, alright! Off to find Usopp!"
"AHH! CAPTAIN!" Little Tamanegi shrieked, stumbling full pelt to the motley group. "It's impossible! The world is going to end!"
"What is it?" Usopp asked, reaching out a hand to steady the child before she landed on her face. If any of the three children went home with a single scratch, he knew exactly who would be blamed for that. (Parents and their daughters, he shivered. So scary.)
"It's the ojou-sama from the mansion! The ojou-sama is coming here! And she's running!"
"Kaya is? Liar!"
"It's the truth!"
And it was. Kaya was running down the road towards them, the pirate girl from earlier jogging behind her wearing a wide grin. "Usopp-saaan!"
"K-k-k-kaya?! What are you doing here? No, more than that, you shouldn't be doing something so strenuous!"
And she laughed at that, stopping in front of him to throw her arms around his shoulders. He stood stiff as stone in shock, because Kaya was a proper ojou-sama and she had never done anything like this before and it was actually really very very very very niiiice
"I'm all better now, can't you see? I'm not sick anymore!" She pulled away, eyes twinkling with elation, and Usopp gathered his bearings again.
"But I saw you just yesterday! How is that possible?"
"It's all thanks to Luffy-san and that hypnotist!"
('So, if I make her all better then it'll be fine, right?')
A sinking feeling began to ball in his gut, because if this was true... if this was true...
Usopp tried not to feel resentful. Really, he did. It wasn't his fault if he failed miserably.
"Kaya," he whispered urgently. "You know that girl only did that because she wants your ship, right?"
"Of course I do, Usopp-san! That was part of the deal we made!"
And it looked like she didn't care that the other girl had ulterior motives, with how happy she was. He should feel happy for her too, he knew. This was great, Kaya was completely healthy and that was great, except for just one thing -
"This means you don't have to sneak past the guards to tell me stories anymore!"
Except for that.
"Ahaha! That's great, Kaya!" he said, smearing a grin on his face. "Excuse me though, I have a coronation to attend right now. The king himself invited me you know!"
Usopp turned on his heel and began to march down the road. The moment he turned a corner and was out of sight, he set into a run, the cardboard smile ripping in half and leaving less than nothing behind.
Luffy's own smile had fallen away a while back.
"Did - did I do something wrong?" Kaya asked, looking lost. Her hand was still outstretched to where Usopp had been. She began to take small, hesitant steps after him, but Luffy put out a hand and stopped her.
"No, this is my fault. I'll go talk to him."
"Oi, Luffy," called Nami's voice. She turned to see her navigator sitting on the white fence next to the three members of the Usopp Pirates. "Don't waste too much time, okay?"
She smiled. "Don't worry; we'll definitely set sail by tomorrow morning."
"Yo!" the pirate girl swung upside from the tree by her feet, her face directly eye level with Usopp.
"UWAA!" He scrambled backwards in shock before realising that it was her. "Why can't you be more normal?!"
"Why are you sad?" she asked, cutting straight into the heart of the matter. Luffy dropped onto her hands and flipped herself into a sitting position to face him directly.
"What - I'm not sad!"
"Yes you are," she fired back. "You're sad and you're angry. Why? Aren't you happy that Kaya's all better? Now you can go on adventures together."
"As if she would," he snarled, before he could stop himself.
Luffy's brows crinkled in confusion. "What d'you mean?"
Usopp considered telling her another lie, but the cat was already out of the bag, so to speak. And this knot in his chest just wouldn't go away, wouldn't unwind no matter how many lies he tried to tell himself, because he knew the truth.
Because if this was true, that would mean Kaya wouldn't need him anymore - he would have no excuse to go see Kaya anymore - he wouldn't be able to see Kaya anymore. If she was all better, she could go out and make her own friends, people who weren't poor, cowardly, lying orphans like him.
Usopp didn't realize he had said all that aloud until the girl blinked and said, quite bluntly, "You're stupid."
"What?!"
He had just spilled his heart and she had the gall to insult him!
"The first person Kaya wanted to see when she thought she got better was you."
Huh?
"Me…?"
"Yup. She was so excited she ran all the way until she found you."
"Re-really?"
"Really. That's how much she treasures your friendship."
"B-but… there's no way that'll last for long. Kaya's Kaya and I'm just... me."
Because, as that bastard Klahadore was so fond of saying, he was just a poor little liar who wouldn't amount to anything. And sure, Usopp knew he would become a brave warrior of the sea one day - like his father was - but that day was not today, and Kaya would only wait so long.
"So? What's wrong with being Usopp, son of Yasopp and Banchina?"
"Eh?! You knew my parents?"
She smiled at him. "I've known your dad since I was a kid; the Akagami Pirates made my town their base for a while, and I met him then."
"The Akagami Pirates, huh…" he said wistfully. And then, "The Akagami Pirates?!"
"Well, yeah. He was a super popular guy in the crew, you know. And I've never met anyone whose aim is as great as his. But more than that, I remember he was always talking about you and your mom."
"He... was?"
"Uhn! I actually recognized you straight away just because of that. So, what I don't understand is..." She grabbed his shoulders, leant forward, and stared him straight in the eye. "What's wrong with being just Usopp, Yasopp's treasure and Kaya's precious friend?"
"I..."
That... was right, wasn't it? So what if he was a liar? Kaya liked his lies, and the villagers did too, he was sure. He was a coward, but that was fine, because he would definitely prove himself when the time came. He was an orphan, but so were a lot of other people, including Kaya herself. And the girl wasn't so superficial that she would mind that he didn't have as much money as she did. So who cared what that Klahadore thought? Even if Kaya made new friends, that didn't mean she would no longer be his.
Why had he been worried, again?
'This means you don't have to sneak past the guards to tell me stories anymore!'
Ah.
That was why.
"So why did she say that then…?" he asked, staring down at his open palms.
"Why don't you just go ask?"
"Just ask?"
He was scared though. He was so scared that she wouldn't need him anymore, wouldn't ever need him again, and then where would he be? He was so, so selfish, but he couldn't help it, because Kaya… Kaya...
"If you keep being afraid, you're gonna end up making your own fears come true. Are you a brave man of the sea? Or aren't you?"
But then, faltering here… Wouldn't that just be an indication of everything to come? Would he run away like a coward every time he was faced with something that scared him? Usopp didn't want that. He didn't want that at all.
"I - I am. I am!"
Or, well, he wasn't, but he would be. A brave man of the sea, that was his dream, and he would reach it if he just had to kept marching forward. Starting from now.
Usopp leapt to his feet. "I'm going to go talk to Kaya! Don't try to stop me!"
She laughed. He did too, because of course he knew she wouldn't, but it made him feel stronger if he pretended the conflict was coming from some place other than within himself.
"You fool," Kuro of a Hundred Plans seethed. "You fool! Do you know what you've done?!"
"It can't really be that big of a deal. Sick or healthy, all we have to do is kill her."
"No! You imbecile! It needs to look like an accident!" Kuro paced back and forth, agitatedly readjusting his glasses with both palms. "A sick girl is easy to kill; a tumble down the stairs, a fever that struck at the wrong time, a bit of hypothermia, too much medicine, anything could happen. She's hidden away in the mansion all day, no one would even think it strange if she killed herself. But a perfectly healthy girl? One who went out to carouse with friends just a few hours earlier? Once the villagers see that she's well and happy, any accidental death will immediately become suspicious! And I, as her butler, will be the prime suspect!"
"Well how could I have known that that sick girl was the same sick ojou-sama whose fortune you're going to steal?"
"Why did you show off your ability in the first place!? I told you to be discreet!"
"That cute girl with the straw hat paid me to. Besides, I didn't actually hypnotize her, I just pretended that I did. I still don't understand why it worked."
"What?"
"Yeah, she told me all I had to do was pretend to hypnotize the other girl, and she would pay me two thousand beli."
"That girl... how did she know that Kaya-ojousama's illness was only psychosomatic?" There was a pause, and Kuro narrowed his eyes. "No matter. Jango, there has been a change in plans. Go, gather up the men and find the girl. You may raid the town, if you so desire. Have her write that will saying she'll give everything to me and then kill her; as long as I'm not implicated, it doesn't matter how you do it. And that strawhat girl... 'Luffy', was it?" He smirked. The angle of the sun hadn't changed, but somehow there seemed to be a heavy shadow cast over his features. "Bring her to me. I'll show her exactly how I punish cheeky women who ruin one of my plans."
There was a whisper of leaves, and then the crunching of branches approaching them.
"Ho... I think I've just overheard something very interesting."
Kuro's head snapped to the side. "Who's there?"
The shadows of the forest shifted. A single figure casually sauntered out into the clearing where both the ex-captain and acting captain of the Black Cat Pirates stood. Close cropped hair, a green haramaki, a sake bottle dangling from callused fingers, three swords at his right side...
"Who are you?"
The other man smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
Well, it didn't matter. He had overheard Kuro's plans; he had to die.
"Jango, your orders still stand. Go. I will dispose of this man."
After a single unsure glance, the hypnotist left, and Kuro reached for the black duffel bag at his feet.
"Not going to be a good citizen and stop him?"
"Nah," said the other man, knocking back the rest of the sake and then tossing the bottle to the ground. "The way I see it, you're the bigger threat."
"Oh?" Kuro pulled on a Cat's Claw. "Nicely spotted."
"Besides," a black bandana was tied over dark eyes. A large, squared thumb flicked out the golden tsuba of one of his swords. "I believe you said you would 'punish' Luffy?"
Kuro raised a brow and pulled on the other Cat's Claw. "What of it?"
"I'm afraid my captain," a black boot slid back in the dirt. There was a clink as a sword handle was clenched between teeth. "Is entirely out of your league."
The man bared his teeth in a feral grin, his eyes savage and wild and dark, and suddenly Captain Kuro made the connection. "Roronoa Zoro... the Majū. You're just as bestial as they say."
"Heh. What gave it away?"
Everything, he didn't tell him. Suddenly the girl's talk of stray dogs made a lot more sense.
"Captain, was it... It'll have taken more than just a bit of food to tame a man like you. So tell me, Roronoa Zoro," Kuro kicked off the ground, claws leaving gouges in the earth. A cheshire smile curved his lips. "How is she?"
"Well now," steel flashed a lethal reflection against Kuro's glasses. "That's something you'll never find out, isn't it?"
"Ah! Luffy! I have the I'll-die-if-I-confront-Kaya diseeea- !"
Luffy threw Usopp into the air by his nose. He landed nose first into the dirt in front of Kaya's feet.
"Usopp-san! Are you okay?"
"K-K-Kaya!"
She grabbed him by his shoulders and tugged him up, and then threw her arms around him again. "I'm so sorry! Nami-san told me that what I said made it seem like I didn't want to see you again! That isn't what I meant at all!"
"E-eh?"
"I just meant that we can meet out in the village, instead! Klahadore can't get mad at you for sneaking in if I'm the one sneaking out, right?"
"W-what? Really? Is that what it... You don't want to stop being friends or anything?"
"No, of course not!" She pulled back and smiled at him. "Of course I want to keep being friends with Usopp-san! Were you worried I wouldn't?"
"Worried?" He hesitated for moment, before grinning widely. Usopp put his hands to his waist and puffed out his chest. "Me? No way! I wouldn't be worried about something like that! I wouldn't doubt it even if I were attacked by a giant sea monster!"
What does a giant sea monster have to do with anything? Luffy wondered.
A little ways away, three short figures slowly became visible. Tamanegi, Ninjin, and Piiman. They looked strangely girlish in real life…
But Luffy blinked when she saw that there were bruises on their arms and legs, and scratches all over. "CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! THE VILLAGE IS BEING ATTACKED BY PIRATES!"
"What?!"
Luffy's eyes widened and her hands curled into fists. That shouldn't be happening for another several hours at the least!
"Usopp, stay with Kaya," she ordered. The boy snapped to attention at the authority in her voice, despite having no reason to listen to her. "Hide her. Go to the forest, go find a cave, whatever. There will be dangerous pirates after her head. To protect your friend, you have to be brave, okay? Nami, you're with me."
She took off at a run to the town, her eyes narrowed in concentration. The navigator kept pace behind her.
"How many men do you think you can handle at once?"
"If we're talking about normal strength pirates, four or five should be fine."
"Okay. Then..." The village came into view, and sure enough, the villagers were spilling into the streets, screaming and shouting as rough hewn men ransacked their homes and stores. "Let's smash these bastards into dirt, yeah?"
There was an amused huff of air. "Yeah."
Did I do this? she wondered, as she dashed through the streets bowling over pirates by the dozens. Is this my fault?
But the senseless terror on these villagers' faces convinced her of it: there was no doubt that she had caused this, this violent assault against a town that otherwise would have been left untouched.
She shot a Pistol at a group trying to ram down the storefront of a jewelery shop and pressed on, looking for the largest threats of this riot; namely, Kuro, Jango, and the Nyaban Brothers. Or maybe the weirdo cat brothers were still on the enemy ship? They had been called the 'last resort' for a reason, after all.
Crash.
Or… nevermind.
Luffy rocketed herself elbow first into Buchi's obese gut, vulcanized rubber sinking into the other pirate's kidney. A Whip knocked the wind out of Sham before he could retaliate, and she pummeled the both of them into the ground with a Gatling.
It was best to do this quickly, before too much harm was done, she thought, checking that the two were suitably knocked out in their shallow craters before rushing to several goons trying to trash some poor lady's home. She had to fix what could be fixed and hope to god nothing had broken too badly.
Spurred by the rush of a self-imposed time limit, Luffy began to hound down every single Kuroneko Pirate that dared to set foot in Syrup Village with frightening vigor.
Usopp panted as he dove behind another tree. The trunk he had been hiding behind not a few seconds ago lurched over, sliced in half at its trunk.
"You fucking piece of shit... where are you hiding?!"
That's right, he thought. Just keep following me.
He didn't know why this bastard was trying to get his filthy paws on Kaya, but there was no way Usopp would allow that. As long as the guy continued to chase after him, he would be getting farther and farther away from Kaya, who was running back to her mansion. Surely she would be safer there, with all her guards and servants. He just had to buy her enough time, and then he could make his own escape.
Usopp eeped as something came crashing through the trees behind him.
What is -
An unholy racket thundered through the forest as over a dozen trees suddenly toppled over, all at once. A flash of black sped out of the cloud of wood chips, something green following closely behind. Sparks flew as the two entities clashed, blades screaming as they scraped past. There was the briefest lull in activity as black and green bore down against each other, the wind and the mountain, neither willing to give an inch. Usopp caught sight of feline eyes narrowed on a wolfish grin before black was thrown against a tree.
Wait, wasn't that... Klahadore? It was! What was Kaya's snooty butler doing here, battered and half-beaten and wiping blood from his mouth?
He had always likened that man to a domesticated house cat, but now, with long claws extending from his fingers, a dangerous glint reflecting off his round glasses, and neatly gelled hair spilling wildly into his face, he brought to mind something more of the likes of a black panther. The other monster, however...
Usopp shivered and cowered further behind his tree.
If things like hell hounds existed in this world this man, all sharp edges and dark shadows and vicious eyes, would be the archetype in barely human form. Death roiled in the air around him, in the shade he casted against the underbrush. The almost jovial pirate who had chuckled at Luffy's antics was long, long gone.
The weirdo who had been chasing him looked just as shell-shocked as he felt. "Cap-captain Kuro!"
Who was? Which one of these monsters was being called on?
Klahadore spat out a glob of blood and pushed off of the decimated tree trunk under him, staggering to his feet with visible difficulty. "Jango. I told you to go find Kaya. What are you doing." It wasn't a question. It was a threat.
"I was! But then that pest got in the way!" A chakram cut through the air and into Usopp's hiding place. He dove away before it could cut through him as well, landing on his ass in clear view.
Three pairs of eyes landed heavily on his shoulders.
Usopp laughed nervously and began to scuttle backwards. "Ah...haha... Don't mind me... I'll just be going now...!"
Klahadore let out a "Hmph," of dismissal and, despite himself, Usopp couldn't help but to feel insulted. "Just ignore that waste of space. If I don't have Kaya's will by the end of today, it's your head that's going to roll."
Usopp's eyes went wide. Kaya's... will?
"But Captain Kuro, this man..."
"I told you not to call me that!" the butler snapped. "I rid myself of my sixteen million bounty and you useless Black Cat buffoons three years ago. Once I pay you for this job with Kaya's inheritance, I don't want to see any of your faces again."
Captain Kuro? Black Cats? Kaya's inheritance? Job?
Though he often liked to pretend otherwise, Usopp was a smart boy. A very, very smart boy.
Sometimes, he thought, as his mind made the connections and filled his gut with dread, maybe a little too smart.
"I don't know where the girl is, though!"
Klahadore - no.
Kuro, Kuro of a Hundred Plans, Captain Kuro of the Kuroneko Pirates gave him a thoughtful glare and said, "Check the mansion."
He was bluffing. He was bluffing, right? He had to be. How could he know where Kaya had gone to hide?
But the freak hypnotist turned and began to leave in that direction and Kuro made no move to stop him.
Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it damn it!
Stand up, he told himself. Stand up! Stop shaking! Grab ginga pachinko and go protect Kaya!
But, his body protested, I'm too scared. You're too scared. What can you do, against a real pirate? You're only a weakling. You won't even be able to help, what would you possibly be able to do?
That was... that was... that was...
That's... true...
What could he do? He was a coward through and through, and he knew it. He wouldn't be able to do anything at all, wouldn't be able to protect Kaya however hard he tried -
("Stupid... Are you a brave man of the sea? Or aren't you?")
No... that wasn't true. It wasn't true. It wasn't true.
Even if it was just a little bit of extra time. Even if he didn't manage to stop the weirdo pirate. Even if he was just a useless waste of space. He would have to try, at least.
"Oi," said the green-haired swordsman. The man glanced at him from the corner of his eye. Usopp gave the slightest flinch before he steadied himself. "If you're going to protect something, do it properly."
Right.
That kind of thinking would get him nowhere.
I won't just try, he swore to himself. I'll stop that bastard even until death!
Usopp jumped to his feet and rushed after the mushroom chinned freak.
AN
Someone who's so negative that negative hollows become negative must have a lot of internal conflict and really low self-confidence.
Is what I thought when I wrote from Usopp's pov. Did I overdo it?
(And Zoro's killing intent has gotta be pretty overwhelming stuff to a boy this sheltered.)
Also, I'm not that great at action scenes so there won't be all that much detail into the battles except brief glances to show what happening plotwise (who's winning, random epiphanies, meaningful arguments, deep thoughts, etc.) This will likely change as I improve, but for now...
There was a typo in the summary! Was there always a typo in the summary? Why did no one tell meeee D:
Reviews
Amortentia Alice: OMG A CRITIQUE OMG I'M SO HAPPY OMG. Hancock, huh? Hancock, Hancock, Hancock. Hancock and Amazon Lily are quite points of interest. I do have a few plans for 'The Most Beautiful in the World', so please bear with me. As for my writing style, I've gotten a few mild complaints about that before too. When it comes to scenes where stuff happens (to be more specific, scenes where people aren't just sitting around and thinking - my specialty (ahaha)), I end up only writing the dialogue or the actions and minimizing descriptions just because it's easier (unless the character whose POV is being used is analyzing something or someone), but I guess it's hard to imagine the scenes... I'll do better from now on. Y^Y
Though it also depends on whose POV it is - Luffy isn't going to be as illustrative as Sanji will, for example. She's gonna stick to the bare bones of what she thinks is important or interesting, while Sanji would embellish things as according to his beliefs.