The city was quiet, and Hawkmoth hadn't akumatized anyone, a strange and yet sullen peace had seemed to branch across all of Paris, but to Marinette it had been a special kind of hell. She absolutely detested everything about that week. Every single day she went out on patrol, leaving messages for Chat Noir to check in, oftentimes it was nothing serious, but rather...just inside jokes between the two about stuff they started noticing on patrol, such as how Xavier Ramier would practice his dance moves outside at night when his pigeon crew was gone, or how Sabrina Raincomprix would often visit a lot of stray dogs and then go see Chloé after...it was the small things that lit up patrol to her, and with Chat not there for them, there was a hollow emptiness in her...nothing was as fun without him...though it wasn't mean to be fun, it was a job after all.
But then outside of her duties as Ladybug, she had to deal with not being able to chime in on the discussions about Ladybug, things that she knew the answers to but couldn't give. It was hellish, a nightmare if there ever was one, hearing Lila exclaim that Ladybug told Chat Noir to take a break when she had done no such thing and very much would have liked his company for patrol! or how Alya made comments about how the city was just fine without Chat Noir as it was Ladybug they couldn't live without...though that one she couldn't help but chime in on, exclaiming that they were partners, and she relied on him so the city needed him as much as it needed her because she trusted him, obviously...and somehow that turned to how Ladybug could always get new hero friends to join her on patrol...Marinette wasn't even going to hide how much that one hurt her heart and eventually she just sighed and ignored the rest of the discussion, laying her head on her desk. Nobody knew what she thought as Ladybug, and everyone assumed Lila was right so why fight it anymore?
WEEK TWO:Anxiety laced her every cell as Ladybug. One week without Chat Noir, and she could just assume he was sick or something. Two weeks, and she was anxious, her nerves were set, and her eyes were on high alert. She needed him...didn't he know that? Where the hell was he? Because he hadn't made an appearance in a while she started sleeping less, ditching classes here and there to do all day patrols, and nothing had given her any leads. Maybe he was on vacation? Who knew...but overall what she did know was that her time spent searching for him left her with very limited sleep and her body was pumping mounds of caffeine beyond what she'd ever been used to. Her civilian life led to her copying Alya's notes frequently and sleeping through her classes. She looked and felt like hell and couldn't partake in any discussions or have the energy for it.
WEEK SIX:A month and a half. He was gone for a month and a half and now she started fearing for the worst. She didn't want to believe it before, she pushed those thoughts away as much as she could but as the guardian, she had a right to know what was up...and as his partner, she was entitled to know! What had changed that made him stay away?! Was he injured?! Was he dead?! Her heart raced, and she couldn't take doing patrols anymore...so for a while, she stopped.
Finally, getting some decent rest Marinette has come to class, this time not entirely dead, but severely depressed, she didn't bother saying a word to anyone, because what was the point? If HE had left her, what was the use of making other friends? She sighed, dropping her bag on her desk and sitting using her hands as props to keep her head up. She wanted to cry, she felt like crying, but she couldn't produce tears because she wasn't even eating or hydrating properly. She needed Chat Noir...her knight...her partner...the boy she gave the special macarons to when she couldn't give them to Adrien...the macarons that she now had to give Tikki to keep from going bad. She didn't register what was going on around her until Nino snapped in her face a few times, and she turned her attention to him.
"What?" She asked, her voice soft and broken.
"I asked what's been up lately...first you were like night of the living dead and now today you're more depressed than anyone I've ever seen! Did your grandma die or something?" He asked as Marinette shook her head.
"I don't...I don't think Chat Noir is coming back..." she whispered and cast her gaze at the negative space surrounding her childhood friend, noting Adrien in the background giving her a look of concern, a part of her wondered if he had been the one to actually want to ask, only to have Nino beat him to the punch. "I've been...searching for him...Ladybug has too...and it's been six weeks...I...I think Ladybug wants him back..." she whispered, the trace amount of water she had in her body coming clearly to the surface as tears, lining her eyes. "She didn't think she'd miss him this much but...I don't know...and when I think about it, it hurts me too because he's my friend too and I'm concerned...and this hurts so much more than when Lila threatened me." She wasn't all that aware of what she'd said, how it was something only she knew, how it was something she didn't know if anyone else would believe. "And I'm pretty sure I might get akumatized soon...because I'm so miserable wondering what happened to him...and I can't fight anymore butterflies off if things keep looking so hopeless..." her voice trailed off before she was back in her own world, unable to focus as her eyes went bleary, and she gave a heavy sigh.