I was never a bitter person, and I always thought that I had a lot of things to be bitter about. My home life, they way my life turned out, always hunted by a psychotic mad man. I suppose there was always stuff balancing out the bitterness. The happy things gave me hope that there was always something better just waiting around the corner. I guess I was the fool for thinking that, that simple naivety I had kept me ignorant and complacent to reality.

I stayed and let myself stew in these whirling emotions that had no outlet. My anger, my sadness, that building, the building hopelessness I have. How can I ever find happiness now that I'm a monster, a creature that feeds on the blood of humans. My very existence disgusts me, makes me angrier. So lost in my thoughts I didn't hear the door open, the footsteps approach me. Only when they spoke did I give them my full attention, Remus if I could cry the tears would surely be dripping down my face.

He smiled at me, "Harry" he didn't say alot and yet he said everything. In his voice I heard understanding and acceptance, I felt his love for me and unwavering loyalty. He could empathize with my situation, understand like know one else would and we both knew it. It didn't stop the negative feelings but it made it so much easier to live with what I was now. I'd never be human again but that didn't mean I had to stop living, That I couldn't still be Harry. And maybe for now that would be enough, maybe I'd find more to be alive for.

I looked into Remus's eyes and simply said "thank you" it was all that was needed and it said everything. His eyes crinkled and he laughed "anytime cub" I wouldn't Worry about it for now I'd let the little happiness I had and simply bask in it. We enjoyed the silence, neither of us willing to disturb it with unnecessary words.

The moment was interupted to quickly, as Hermione slammed the doors open, I couldn't fault her for it though. She looked nervous and sad as she stood there. Taking a deep breath she started "Harry! I know your upset but your making everyone worry!". She started and I couldn't hold back the laugh, some things don't change and I'm glad for that. She stood there stunned with a small blush in her cheeks. "It's ok Hermione, I know I was being a little childish." I looked at her and at Remus before continuing "I'm sorry for worrying everyone". I looked around the small dome surrounding me "think you could let me out now?". They both looked at each other and smiled at me, Pulling out his wand Remus said a few words and the dome collapsed on it's self. The smell hit me like a wrecking ball, I never smelt so much, like my eyes it all seemed so new and I couldn't believe how much my senses improved.

Still a thought interupted and halted any others " how come I'm not going in a rampage and draining you dry?" They both laughed and Remus went off into a lecture "well for one thing harry I'm a werewolf, not exactly high on you feeding list" as he said that I looked at him a smelt, my nose wrinkled at it" Im Sorry Remus but you smell horrible" it was so intense like wet dog and so much more". He laughed " yes, one thing you'll learn is that different creatures have different smells, veela,werewolf, and vampire" I didn't know that. "however only some creatures have that heightened sense of smell to actually be able to tell what creature is what".

I looked at Hermione, curiosity getting the better of me I took a whiff and was so confused she didn't smell bad, it was hard to discern if she smelt good either. It was a foreign smell, I couldn't place and yet I could feel static coming off her. My face probably giving away my confusion, Remus filled me in. "That cub is the smell of magic, its not really a smell and yet were able to recognize that there not simply human."

These new senses confused me so much, it'd be something I'd have to adapt to, It felt so foreign and continued "It makes living among magical creatures easier, sadly only a little. Where still creatures Harry it's a balance we have to hold. We must always fight for control". He gave a sad smile and walked to the door before he left he simply said " If we continue this fight, its so much more satisfying". With his words continuing to echo in my head I sighed.

Days pass and eventually I find myself a little niche, everyone was understanding and I found acxeptance, I didn't think I'd get. Some days I get get a strong hunger. Its painful ignoring it, denying it.
I thought I was free from these sad and bitter up and down feelings. As my emotions learn to make any sense of what I really want to feel. I sigh as I've come to accept these unstable and hypersensitive emotions that course through my mind. As the thoughts also won't stop their chaotic tangle they form in me. I haven't accepted it but, I learned to tolerate this situation I was thrown into.

Since I've awoken my magic is out of control. If I begin to feel intense emotions things explode. Then there's the feeding, that I can't or won't try. I know that there'll always be that small part of me that craves it, needs it. That would stop at nothing to get it, it calls to me, beckons me closer. I've imagined it so many times, can almost taste and feel the blood filling my mouth. Still the part of me that still feels human denies it with an aboslute vehemence. I'll not lose the last of who I am, for awhile I've been living off of blood replenishers.

I know it's not a permanent solution, yet I dont have alot of options that im willing to attempt. If I use a donor I'm giving that small chance of going wild. I won't succomb to that animalistic side of me. The words Remus told me keep coming to the forefront of my mind, it's a constant fight for balance.

So there's the next chapter done, I've also decided to not kill off Remus, Still thinking on other stuff for this story.