But What If

by Yavanna and SunStar

It's the summer of 2002 when Non Llewellyn, an anxiety riddled PTSD suffering auror, is just struggling to get through the days. Hot on the case of dark wizards who evaded capture after the war, she doesn't have time for any additional stress but when a new Ministry of Magic law gets put into place her world will never be the same again. *AU as FW lives*

23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Harry Potter universe, that all belongs to J.K. Rowling. Non Llewellyn however is mine.

Chapter 23

I didn't let myself sit still for long. On shaky legs I made my way over to the bathroom cabinet mirror to assess the damage before I could decide what to do next, and I blanched at my reflection. I was frighteningly pale, so much so that my normally faded freckles were standing out clearly. Even my lips were nearly white.

That means you aren't breathing properly.

Right, I knew that, and I took in a few shuddering breaths before I started to breath in through my nose, hold for five seconds, exhale through my mouth. And repeat. My hands slowly started to unclench from the basin and I tried to assess myself again. Now what – what did I need to do next? Beckett had seemed quite harried so I figured, now that I was slightly calmer trying to process everything, that I didn't have long to get ready. I was just so grateful that he had turned up when he did.

Work. Just think of work, nothing else.

He was right. I did have a job to do. I'd already been stupid enough to let George distract me once I couldn't allow distractions to happen again.

I pictured myself placing bricks up, one by one to block out the things I couldn't think on right now. I mean I knew I did need to think on it at some stage but I couldn't now. Not just yet. The odd thought would poke through as I quickly prepared to get in the shower but I started to picture it like it was duelling practice. I either had to dodge getting hit, or successfully deflect it.

I set the shower to cold and washed my food caked hair as quickly as I could as icy blasts washed over me, making me gasp. It wasn't pleasant but it did result in my mind finally starting to feel clear from the fog that I'd felt I'd been fighting through at times since last night.

It's because you're exhausted.

Yes, of course I was. I still hadn't caught up on my sleep and stress always tired me out. That would make sense why I'd been so overly emotional even given what I'd just learned and-.

I cut the thought off as I switched off the shower and picked up what I hoped was a clean towel to quickly dry myself before I bit my lip. What to wear? My dungarees wouldn't cut it, it didn't fit the persona I'd had to pretend to be recently and I flipped open my bag. I always had an array of clothes in here but what would be suitable…

The only thing I could think of was the outfit I'd worn in my disguised meeting with Rita Skeeter so I supposed that would have to do, although I made sure to charm the black polo sweater to blue to at least make it slightly different. After using my wand to dry my hair I tied it back into a high ponytail with a transfigured pink ribbon. It was very un-me like.

Once I'd dressed I reassessed myself in the mirror. I still looked dreadful and I half thought maybe that was a good thing, maybe it would put George off and I was amazed to see my mouth slightly quirk with amusement. That was a good sign. I rolled my shoulders back with a satisfying crunch. Right first off I needed to put a concealment charm on to cover the dark circles under my eyes. That done, and after hurriedly applying more makeup than I'd normally ever wear, I blinked at the strange face looking back at me.

Fake Non. I was a fake Non. Which was perfect really, I at least looked the part. I held my hands out and was pleased to see they had finally stopped shaking. That was good, it meant I was getting back in control. I also realised that when…when I had been upset that I hadn't used my magic. I hadn't lost myself that much. Maybe I hadn't lost as much control as I'd thought.

I wasn't wholly convinced on the truth of that thought but I clung to its reassuring façade anyway even as I shouldered my bag, placed my wand in my holster and made my downstairs. It was weird to see everyone still sat about although I determinedly didn't look at the far end of the table as I surveyed everything from the kitchen window. I didn't want to risk it.

Instead I set my mind to thinking about work. If I didn't have to focus on my feelings, I thought I'd be okay at least for a little bit. Just how did Dementors get back on Azkaban? Had they maybe always been there? Why would Beckett himself personally bring Harry here? Why were both Stent and Proctor coming here to give us orders when every single bit of Ministry protocol meant it should have been conducted via the auror office? Scrap that, why were Proctor and Stent being allowed to give us orders at all when we weren't on their teams?

That last thought was troubling. I knew there had been a power play going on and it seemed Beckett was losing even more ground and I felt a flare of resentment at that. That wasn't right, Beckett was so good at his job they shouldn't be trying to undermine him. And Merlin bless Beckett, he must have seen at the sight of me that something had gone a bit wrong but he'd known better than to be nice. God if he had I think that might really have tipped me right over and I shivered. I'd thought to myself before that I was like a house of cards, one strong gust of wind from caving in. Maybe I had folded, or a bit, but as I squared my shoulders I felt a bit better. I was on steadier ground. And I wasn't about to let Beckett down.

I could see that Stent and Proctor had arrived and were chatting with Mr Weasley as they were making their way over to the table. Ron was standing but Harry was still sat. God they weren't going to expect him to participate too were they, not after his Dementor encounter? I felt another spark of annoyance at that and clung to it. It wouldn't drain me as much as anger but it gave me an emotion to focus on that wouldn't hurt me more than I already was.

It soon seemed however that they were expecting Harry to join in and as I skipped up next to Ron my Ministry polite smile firmly in place, I just hoped this didn't all take too long. There was only so much time I knew could stand there and actively try not to think about anything else. Harry slowly got to his feet and we ambled over to where all three head aurors were now standing clustered together just far enough away from the table that they'd struggle to hear us. I don't know where Beckett had been but he passed a swift gaze over me before he gave a half nod. That was good, it meant I was doing alright.

When we reached them I managed to place myself a bit behind Harry, more that I was peeking over his shoulder because the stupid Non I was pretending to be wouldn't have thought to stand in the space to the left of Ron but more than that it meant I could loosely bunch a fist in the back of Harry's robes to offer him some sort of stability. It was weird knowing that physically at least Harry was currently in a much worse place than me. Hell perhaps even emotionally too.

Stent and Proctor both cast a critical eye over me and my now vapid smile before directing their words to Harry and Ron. Standard form for them. I was so focused on enthusiastically nodding my head along to what they were saying that I wasn't listening to their words, until a slight movement from Beckett pretending to scratch at his ear made me clue in to listen properly.

"We're having to bring more of the experience staff in to deal with the situation, I'm sure you understand, so that means re-jigging some of the cases. There's been an undercover case planned now for some weeks, due to start a week Wednesday but Higgit and Broom are needed at the prison."

There was a natural pause as Stent finished and I decided it was time for me to make an inane comment.

"Are Dementors really that bad?"

I finished with a high light giggle as though my question had been funny and was pleased to see I got aggravated sighs, and a long irritated look shared between them before Proctor sent me a sickeningly patronising smile.

"Yes. Now, with those two at the prison we need to reallocate the case, the undercover work is a must. So Weasley you and…her will be taking it over. We'll be getting the case notes sent over to you tomorrow. We want you to lead it."

"Oh wow going undercover, won't that be fun Ron!"

I giggled again even as I inwardly grimaced. This was actual fucking madness. Higgit and Broom were undercover specialists. They were pretty much permanently on one job or another and the only times they were ever seen in the office was when they were preparing for their next case. It's why I hardly knew them, I think I'd only spoken to Broom maybe twice in the three years I'd been working. The point was I'd only ever worked one undercover case and that was when I was fresh out of training and being honest it was more of a booster course. Because of my illness I hadn't ever had the opportunity to do another one. I was wholly unqualified.

Ron I was sure had done more than me but he'd never led a case before. Normal procedure was that we had weeks to prepare. You had to now the case in intimate detail to be able to pull off a successful operation, nine days was laughably stupid. We'd be almost guaranteed to fail.

"Thank you for thinking to ask me sirs. It's an honour."

"Not at all Weasley, we know you won't let us down."

I giggled again to cover up the urge to glare. God Stent's smile was sinister, or perhaps I was just paranoid. I think they waffled on about needing closer input from Harry on some matters before Beckett indicated he needed a word with them and gestured for the three of us to leave. Ron issued a grunt at me to follow and I took the opportunity to loop my arm through Harry's to cover up steering him back to the table. I prattled on about undercover work even as we got to the table and Harry sank into the chair as I knew the three of them were still conversing. I'd almost had to resort to doing some stupid playing with my ponytail as I hopped up to sit on the table, my legs swinging, with half an eye on our superiors.

My fake happy expression was starting to hurt my cheeks but I could finally see that they had started to depart but just as I was about to let myself relax there was a cracking noise followed by a squawk and a small delivery owl appeared and Proctor grabbed it from the hair and ripped the note from the poor bird's talons, before he sent it away with a snap of his wand.

"Oh you, Nina!"

Who on earth was Ni- oh fuck they meant me didn't they? Nina, I mean I ask you.

"Oh, yes sir?"

I smiled as I hopped from the table to stand, Ron shuffling over to the side slightly to make space for me.

"We've just been notified they need more staff. You're free to do a couple days at Azkaban aren't you?"

My insides froze, and it was like there was a physical hand squeezing on my heart. Oh fucking hell, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. I felt a hand grip my shoulder.

"Given how little time we have I can't really spare her sir."

Oh thank you Ron, thank you, thank you, thank you.

"Nonsense Weasley it's just two days. Most of that you'll need to come to grips with things yourself before you clue Nina in on what she'll have to do."

Oh shit. Oh shit, shit, shit, shit.

"Oh I uh, I don't think I'll be allowed to sir."

I hoped very much I was managing to hide my panic by putting on a regretful and slightly confused expression. I'm pretty sure I wasn't successful but at least fear was a legitimate response here.

"And why not? If we say you can go you go."

"Oh it's not that sir it's just that I'm not due to work there again until end of November you see. Healers orders. I'd love to help out otherwise."

Lies, lies, I'd bloody hate it.

"Oh that's quite alright Nina that's already been sorted with the healers. Great you can help us out. The next crossing departs in two hours, I'll let them know."

"Oh it has has it? Why that's great sir. You know me, always happy to help."

I was somehow managing to keep smiling, even as Proctor sent me a nasty smirk as he nodded and turned his head and all three of them apparated away.

I was…I was…I couldn't think. Anything I had to think about was going to send me spiralling. I mean I couldn't go and work…there. Not after today, not with those…creatures there.

Careful Non, careful with your thoughts.

I was vaguely aware I was now sitting although I couldn't tell you how I found a chair. I had to focus on something, something that Proctor had said about...

Well shit. They'd planned it. They couldn't have gone from having 'just found out' with that owl memo to have already cleared it with the healers. The liar. The filthy fucking liar. But why? Why would they want me to go there? Did he…did he know it had been me requesting the auror staffing records? I still bloody well hadn't had them. It was a concerning thought.

Or it could simply be they just wanted to interfere with the preparation time I had with Ron for our as of yet undisclosed undercover mission. Sabotage an already almost impossible task. But why would they be wanting to set me and Ron up for failure? I supposed when I found out the mission I'd have a better idea.

But what about our colleagues left behind, even more short staffed? We were already working around the clock. They'd have to cover even more and we were all near exhaustion as it was. Exhaustion led to mistakes and mistakes in our line of work could lead to getting you killed. I shivered. Was that their plan? I mean Harry would be completely isolated. I glanced at him in concern to see him already looking at me, wearing a worried frown of his own before his eyes slid to Ron. I turned my head to follow his gaze.

Ron looked a sickly grey colour and was staring miserably at the table in front of him.

That's right Non, focus on Ron.

I suppose from his point of view it was his first big shot at what sounded an incredibly important mission. I knew Ron had done loads of things that were worthy of praise but he'd nearly always been a second in command. For him to be in charge of something, to clearly have to take ownership of the mission and the results it was a big step. And it was one set up for failure and by looking at his face he knew it.

I could feel panic bubbling up inside me and my heart clenched painfully again and I swallowed heavily trying to think of what I could say to him. I was becoming more aware of other peoples voices and one in particular.

"Chin up Ron, even you won't mess it up I'm sure."

The speaker was perhaps not close enough to see the hurt that flashed through Ron's eyes but I was. Even while I knew they had been trying to rally him up, perhaps even get Ron to feel a spark of resistance I inwardly winced at their use of 'even'. God it was like they didn't know Ron at all.

"Oh shut up Fred."

I realised with some amazement that I didn't need to look up to know it was Fred that had spoken even as I snapped the words out. I blinked in surprise then that I'd spoken at all, I hadn't planned to. Ron shot me a swift glance and I nodded at him.

I felt funny, like I was weirdly light headed but super focused at the same time. I knew I was scared, I could feel my insides churning, my heart still felt like it was trapped in an icy vice but I also felt strangely calm. It was like I'd switched automatically into survival mode. Just deal with things as they came at me, one at a time, and the time to analyse and think over things would come after when I had the time to be weary and weak. That sure as hell couldn't be now.

I was so focused on Ron I nearly missed the figure striding over to us.

"Non, Weasley, Potter we need to talk."

"Who's Non? I thought I was Nina."

I supposed I deserved the slightly filthy look Beckett sent me as he hauled a chair to sit at the head of the table, and he frowned at us. I half raised my hand indicating I wanted to ask a question but I waited for Beckett's nod before I spoke.

"Shouldn't we take this conversation somewhere private?"

I mean if we were discussing work stuff we really probably should.

"This whole family has proved they can be trusted, or are there people here you think shouldn't be?"

Wait did that mean that he…that Gr- that a person wasn't at the table anymore? It took everything I had not to turn my head to look. I shook my head.

"Good. Right you three as you can see, things are afoot. I need you to do as I tell you. I need to be able to rely on you. I need you from now on to ensure that you do everything by the book, absolutely everything. Any chance they think they'll have to get shot of you they'll take it."

I mean I guess Beckett meant getting shot of us as in getting us fired, but a part of me wondered. I mean sending people under prepared on what was a likely dangerous mission didn't seem that they were being particularly mindful about our welfare.

"So I need to know have any of you at all recently done something that wasn't strictly…legal shall we say."

God had I? I mean the Skeeter thing was seriously pushing some boundaries I knew but I still reckoned I had wiggle room on that. Oh shit, I'd broken into the legal department hadn't I? Pretty sure that was going to be frowned upon. As I chanced a glance at Beckett's face I was alarmed to see he was staring directly at me, his face starting to redden as his scars started to stand out more clearly. Oh shit. I attempted an innocent smile but hunkered down in my seat as he leant forward with a pointed finger to job it in the direction of my face.

"No flashing of your dimples Llewellyn. I want you on your best behaviour from now on do you understand me?"

Merlin he really was intimidating when he tried to be, and I nodded my head immediately in agreement. I didn't understand why he was angry at just me, I mean Ron and Harry hadn't answered him…or had they? God maybe I'd missed it. Which wasn't really my fault given all the shit that had- I mean what I was going to- I, fuck, I couldn't not think about everything. I mean fucking hell this was just- it wasn't right. What Stent and Proctor had just pulled was bang out of order. I felt a swirl of injustice fight its way to the surface and I clung to it. It was an emotion I could actually handle.

"Right, I want a plan of action."

Beckett seemed to have composed himself I was glad to see.

"Fuck 'em."

"Llewellyn!"

Okay, right, not all that composed.

"What? I don't mean literally". Because I mean, ychafi.

"So help me if you swear one more time I will scourgify your mouth quicker than you can blink. Mind. Your. Manners."

There were a number of replies I wanted to say to that, I mean I thought my initial words had been quite mild given what I could have said about them but I managed to swallow them back.

"I just mean, that for the shi- I mean, for what they're trying to pull we shouldn't let them win."

Honestly I thought 'fuck 'em' summarised it far better but I guess that was just me.

"Not let them win? Non, they've fu- er, screwed us over."

"And what Ron, we're just going to let them?"

I had to stop myself from glaring at him, but he looked so defeated already and we hadn't even started. But this wasn't right, this was completely unjust and I wasn't going to stand for it. If this was the only thing that I could focus on that would help me function right now then I was going to hold on to it with everything I had.

"Let's prove them wrong."

Ron stared back at me for a long moment as he considered my words before he finally nodded and held out his hand. I didn't even hesitate before I grabbed it and we shook on it. We had a deal. We'd both try.

"Good." Beckett clapped his hands together happily before he started addressing Harry but no matter how hard I tried to focus I was finding it difficult to and I glanced down at the table top, already feeling a frown on my face.

I mean the issue was just how we were going to prove them wrong. I'd have to go through my stores and books, see just what type of potions I'd need. It would help if I knew the damned case too but with me having to go to Azkaban in just under two hours I'd-

I sucked in a breath. Azkaban. Shit I'd thought it. I mean normally I needed weeks of preparation before I went there to be able to get through a week and that was without Dementors being there. I knew this time it was only two days but I was the worst prepared I'd ever been. And there were Dementors. I could feel the panic clawing at my insides and it was a fear so intense my eyes started to burn with unshed tears and I blinked fiercely.

Think of something else.

God what, what else could I think of, I was already so miserable and they were going to make me worse and I just, I, there had to be something else and just what could I possibly do that was-.

Moon calfs. I'd always wanted moon calfs. Or was it moon calves? Either way I'd always wanted one. Or even a whole herd. Wouldn't that be nice, I mean I had the big paddock field out the back too that would be perfect for them. Then again the dragons would see them as food so, perhaps not. But that was always another option. If I just, if I just quit, gave it all up, I'd ask Mr Jones if I could work at Ynys Hir.

I felt a nudge on my arm and glanced at Ron in confusion but he just indicated with a nod of his head to Beckett, and I gulped to see him staring at me. Shit, had he asked something?

When the silence stretched on for a few seconds he released an aggravated sigh.

"I wanted to know if you had any questions Llewellyn."

God, did I? I mean I couldn't really think of any unless, well…I mean I would need it.

"Do you have any more hot chocolate?"

"Hot chocolate?"

I couldn't get a read on his tone and I frowned.

"Yeah I mean Harry's probably going to finish the jar off and when I get back from, I mean after, I-I'll need some."

Beckett pinched the bridge of his nose, I supposed in suppressed anger before he finally nodded.

"Fine. I'll be back in about an hour. Don't you dare leave until I get back."

He'd jabbed another finger in my direction for good measure before seeming to remember something and fishing an envelope out of the pocket of his robe he levitated it towards me before he apparated away. I gently grabbed the envelope out of mid-air and couldn't suppress a scoff when I saw how it was addressed.

"How many times do I have to tell him I'm not French?"

I didn't particularly want an answer but honestly it was maddening. Just because my name was Non. I mean it was an actual Welsh name. You'd think English people would be more acquainted with Welsh names or words than French but obviously not. Still, I was curious to know what Morris was writing to me.

He'll be there.

It was a weirdly comforting thought. His writing didn't make a whole lot of sense but then again it never did. I was just coming to the end of it when I realised with a jolt that Beckett had actually wanted me to ask a question. Now that was weird he normally hated it. I shrugged the thought aside as I read through Morris' note for a second time. At least it was only short.

A startled shriek jolted me and I felt my heart jump even as adrenaline thrummed through me and I was astonished to see a stunned Hermione trying to support a clearly unconscious Fred who was slumped over her in his seat.

What the…

Pandemonium seemed to erupt around the table as Mr and Mrs Weasley both rushed up to see if Fred was okay but on taking in the situation my eyes had strayed to George and gotten stuck. He was stood up, his chair toppled over behind him and his chest was heaving. He was cradling his right hand in his left but what had trapped me was his face. He was looking right at me and his face was filled with complete and utter anguish. I couldn't breathe, even as my stomach flipped I was aware of that fact. Had he just knocked out his own twin? But why? And what the hell had I done for him to look at me like that?

I was horrified to see his eyes fill with tears before he turned and stormed down the garden. I'd hardly realised I'd tried to get to my feet to follow until a hand on my arm dragged me back down and I glanced at Harry in confusion.

"Non you can't. Not now."

I swallowed heavily. I didn't fully understand him but he looked so serious I didn't know what to say. I mean George wasn't okay, I needed to see if I could help. He looked, I mean he'd looked devastated. I couldn't just not go and check and-

"Llewellyn I need you to work."

I felt Ron's words wash over me and I shivered. Of course, work. I couldn't get distracted now, not when I had to leave so soon. And hadn't I just thought to myself earlier I couldn't let George distract me again? I bit my lip, I was completely conflicted. I don't know how long I stared blindly ahead of me until a loud cough from Ron had me startling in my seat.

Right yes, work. If I was to be going, I took a deep breath to prepare myself, to Azkaban for two days I needed to make sure I had something to eat. I tried to ignore the jumps of nerves and fear swirling in my stomach as I pushed back from the table to make for the kitchen. Audrey, Percy and Alina were sat at the kitchen table but I ignored them as I picked up one of the newly washed plates from the sink drainer and started to dish myself up some leftovers. It wasn't a lot but it was better than nothing, and given how queasy I was feeling I'd be doing well to finish it.

When I sat back in my seat I started to mechanically fork food into my mouth even as I pulled the ribbon from my ponytail so I could hide part of my face with my hair. There was movement at the far end of the table and I didn't want to see who was sat there. I frowned to myself as I thought about being away when I hadn't planned for it. I'd need to pop back home first to check on everything, especially my greenhouse but when I mentioned that to Ron he said Luna would do it for me.

I shrugged that thought off then and after finishing with my plate I grabbed my bag to fish out my potions supply box, a notepad of parchment and a battered old quill. I'd only managed to scribble down a few things before a voice disturbed me.

"I've never seen a storage case like that Non, where did you get it from? It's amazing."

It was Bill's voice but I gazed unseeingly at the parchment not daring to look up as my eyes burned with unshed tears again. I didn't want to answer so I just about managed to shrug before placing the quill back ready to write some more.

"It was her father's."

I glared at the now broken quill in my hand and the hole that I'd punctured through the parchment, even as my heart gave a painful jolt. God his stupid voice I- I didn't want to hear it. This wasn't helping me to not think.

I pushed back my chair again and muttered to Ron that I was going to get changed before I hurriedly made my way back into the house, ignoring anyone I happened to walk by until I found myself in Ginny's room. I kept fluctuating between being completely focused to feeling like I was about to spiral out of control and I badly wanted everything to just stop, even though I knew that it couldn't. I'd just managed to accio a bunch of clothes out of my bag so I could choose what to wear when I felt the panic I was trying to bottle away nearly break through again and I covered my face with my hands as I fought not to cry.

God I couldn't do this now, if I gave in now I don't think I'd be able to stop, certainly not before I had to leave. The sound of the door opening made me jump and I grabbed at a jumper pretending to consider it before I glanced around.

"Oh. Hey Gin."

She hardly glanced at my face before she let out a sigh and reached forward to hug me, only to pull back with hurt clearly showing when I flinched away but I couldn't help it.

"Please, please don't be nice."

I'd break. If anyone hugged me, if I let my guard down for just a second I was done for. She stared hard at me this time but it was beyond me to try and guess her thoughts before she nodded.

"Alright. What can I do to help?"

I felt myself wobble slightly before I rubbed a tired hand over my face.

"I-I need to pick what to wear. It needs to be warm."

See the thing with Ginny whilst she could sometimes be a bit over excitable and well forceful she was also able to be incredibly practical when needed. It hadn't taken her five minutes to go through my things, pick out three different sets of outfits and charm them with an interlaced heating charm that she hoped wouldn't wear off.

"Thank you Ginny."

My voice was quiet in the room but she shrugged it off.

"You know I wish I could do more. Although when you get back you're going to have to explain to me why you have pretty much a whole wardrobe of stuff in your bag. Here, wear these boots."

I paused in the middle of shrugging into a jumper to take the boots off her and I pulled a face. They were the most expensive pair I'd ever purchased and they had a permanent heating charm on the inside, for my feet in cold weather they were bliss I just never felt comfortable wearing such expensive things. More fool me for getting them in the first place I guess.

"Thank you for helping Harry."

I blinked dully for a moment before turning my slow gaze to her but Ginny was quite deliberately not looking at me.

"He'd do the same for me."

I glanced down at my watch and felt my heart lurch. Shit, twenty minutes to go.

"I'm just uh, I'm just going to pop to the loo then I'll see you outside."

I grabbed my bag and hurried out of the room without waiting for her reply and sent a silent thanks to Helga that there wasn't anyone in the bathroom already and I locked myself in. Best to have a wee now then need to go on the crossing. I was shivering I realised despite the warm clothing.

I'm afraid.

But I knew that. I didn't dare stay in there too long, I didn't want to risk someone coming to find me again and catching me on my own, and when I made my way back outside I was pleased to see that Beckett was back at the table in the barn area, a jar of hot chocolate placed before him. As soon as he saw me he pointed a finger at a seat by Ron and I dutifully sat.

"Right then you two, I've managed to have a chat with Broom and…"

I started to tune him out. I mean this was for Ron's ears more than mine anyway and now that my time to leave was nearly here I couldn't ignore that I was in fact going to have to go to Azkaban. I tapped a nervous rhythm out on my thighs with my fingers, more try and stop myself from twisting my hands together with nerves although I couldn't stop chewing on my lip.

"…so that should help get you up to speed with the trickier parts, and you can – Llewellyn stop swinging on your chair – get access to their stores via Benson if you…"

I jolted forward as I lowered the front legs of the chair. I hadn't really noticed I'd been swinging and I frowned. I'd done so much today that I hadn't been aware of and it just wasn't like me. But then given everything with…with him-.

With Gruff.

I shivered violently at his name but I was amazed that it didn't automatically make me cry. It seemed my fear of Azkaban had muted that part of me, or a bit at least.

"Llewellyn. Llewellyn. Non!"

I blinked and glanced at Beckett.

"Yes?"

"Do you have your memory ready?"

My memory? What the…oh! Oh of course I needed a good memory for my patronus. Because there were going to be dementors. I swallowed heavily as I thought and then latched on to the memory I always used. The day I passed my auror training. I'd never in my life felt more capable or as strong as I had that day and I felt a fierce burst of pride and I clung on to it. I had been strong that day, I knew I could do it.

I glanced back at Beckett and nodded, my mind feeling almost clear.

"Good. Right come get your jar and then be on your way."

I stood and turned to Ron to say something, some words of encouragement perhaps but I couldn't think of anything so I shrugged. He seemed to understand me though.

"See you in a couple of days."

I nodded again before I walked up to Beckett to scoop up the jar of hot chocolate to slip into my bag and I nearly jumped as his hand grabbed my shoulder and I gazed slightly startled up into his scarred face.

"You stick to Morris you understand me."

Well he didn't need to tell me twice, I'd already planned to. I figured if Morris wasn't affected by Azkaban generally, perhaps he's be pretty good at withstanding most of the effects of the dementors too. I nodded my understanding and turned to leave before I froze as a stray thought managed to break through.

What if he's gone by the time I get back?

I mean it's not like it had gone well earlier. What if he thought I didn't want him around? Did I want him around? Would I care if he just left again?

I nearly swayed as I realised that yes I bloody would care and I clenched my jaw as I silently cursed Proctor and Stent and this god awful timing. I hadn't been wanting to think about Gruff or what he'd said but I now realised I wanted the time to process him being here and I didn't have it. I spun back around finally daring to look at the end of the table, my glance nearly bouncing off Gruff when I saw he was still there.

["Gruffudd."]

I saw out of the corner of my eye him sit to attention.

["I'm glad you're not dead."]

I didn't bother to wait for a reply as I turned and speed walked away. If I was never to see him again then I wanted him to know that, regardless of what he'd done and regardless of what shit he'd said earlier. When I was back I could prod at the wounds he'd caused and see if they could be healed, if I could ever actually bring myself to talk to him but what if it was all too late by then? My eyes were blurring again and I silently cursed.

"Non!"

My stomach flipped so violently it was enough to make me stop walking and I clutched a hand to my middle.

Oh God, George.

I'd completely forgotten about him. Which was absurd when not an hour ago I'd been so concerned that he'd punched Fred. Merlin how was I supposed to keep up? How was one person's brain supposed to deal with all of this? I tried to steel myself as I turned around to face him.

He was hurrying over to me where I'd reached a point not far from the front of the Weasley's house. It was, I noted absently, not far from where he normally walked me to to say goodbye. His eyes looked fever bright.

"Non I need you to promise me something."

His arms hung loosely by his sides but I eyed them wearily worried he was going to spring a hug on me.

"What-what is it? I don't have long George I've got to go."

My lips felt numb.

"I know that just please promise, when you finish your shift that you come straight back here? Don't go back to yours, come straight here. Please?"

I didn't want to look at his face but I couldn't help myself. Worry and something that looked like misery but I didn't think it was, was etched in the lines of his face and I hated it. George should never look like that.

"I promise."

The transformation was instant as relief flooded his features but I should have known better by now than to let him get within an arms-reach of me. He pulled me into a hug.

I scrunched my face up feeling almost in pain as I tried to fight the wave of emotions trying to crash over me as his arms wrapped tightly around me. Because Merlin he felt good and I fucking needed this. I needed this hug. I needed to collapse into him, bury my head into his shoulder and cry my heart out because I knew George would let me. But I couldn't.

"Non please ,who is he?"

I managed to tear myself away at his words and before I could fully take in his startled and hurt face I'd already taken my wand out, and I apparated.

The freezing Scottish air greeted me along with icy cold rain and I took a shuddering, gasping breath even as I fell to me knees with a sob.

Oh God I couldn't do this.

You have to.

I don't know how I managed to get back to my feet, I don't even know how I managed to find my way to the rickety dock to get into the boat to carry me to Azkaban. All I knew was that I cried every step of the way. Because even while I'd felt I hated Gruff earlier I knew that was a lie. I loved him. I loved him so much it physically fucking hurt and if what he had said was true then…

I choked on another sob even as I stumbled into the boat, ignoring the startled glance of the oarsman.

My dadi's a liar.

---

I gazed numbly at the spot where she'd been as though expecting she would just reappear again.

What have I done?

I'd only meant to ask Non to come back here I hadn't meant to mention that guy at all but I couldn't help it. I'd had jealousy churning inside since last night and even when I knew it was stupid I hadn't been able to stop myself. It was maddening I couldn't even understand what it was they'd discussed and the way she had just totally blanked him…

But she'd blanked me too. And she'd at least said something to him before leaving, but she'd ignored me. That hurt. That hurt almost as much as when she said I'd made her feel anxious.

"Weasley!"

I spun in annoyance at the anger in the voice that was approaching me. It had been quite something to finally see what Non's boss looked like. No wonder she didn't seem to have a problem with my scar, given the lattice work of scars on his face.

"What did you do?"

"I made her promise to come back here after her shift."

"Good. What else? I can see it in your face boy."

I clenched my jaw as I felt guilt trickle down my spine. For once I didn't have any words.

"Did you upset her?"

I managed just one curt not and he cursed.

"I warned you. I bloody warned you. Don't distract her. Don't tip her off balance. What was so important you couldn't just wait two days?"

I winced. Shit he was right. I knew he was right and I'd, fuck I'd upset her just as she had to go to a place that for her would be hell on earth. And I had no way of going to her, no way of fixing things, of making it better. I couldn't help her, that was the worst thing although I doubted after our morning conversation she'd even let me. Even when I'd tried to hug her she'd resisted me.

I've fucked up.

Charlie's voice called out for Beckett to head back to help Ron with something and I scuffed my shoe on the floor as I watched him trudge closer.

"George, fuck, come here."

He crushed me into a hug. The one good thing about Charlie being away so much was that when he was home he could see through all the shit we normally tried to hide. I let out a ragged breath and felt my eyes tear up. Shit I think I'd nearly cried more today than I had for years.

"Charlie I've fucked up."

My voice was muffled into his shoulder a bit and he pulled back to frown at me.

"That's not like you George."

I stepped back to rub a tired hand over my face.

"It had all been going so well Charlie until last night but it's just, how can things go so wrong? And now I know who she is I just…"

I didn't know what to say. I'd finally figured it out and to see Fred just sat there grinning at me, like he'd known all along I'd just snapped. I mean he knew, he knew how important it had been to me, he knew that better than anyone he always did. I could feel my anger start to spike again.

"What do you mean, know who she is?"

"Do you remember I met a French girl? After Ginny won the league?"

"Ah yeah the bird Fred had to stop you actually shagging on the dance floor that you mooned over for well…until you met Non."

I could feel my face twist.

"Yeah. I never knew why I thought she was French, I'd been that pissed, I just woke up in the morning convinced that she was and then I never found her again. Charlie, what if she wasn't?"

"What do you mean, wait, you don't think?"

He was looking at me with wide eyes.

"You heard her. 'Why does everyone always think I'm French?' and she said the other week she'd been at the Harpies game although I hadn't remembered seeing her. But I knew in the Leaky she seemed familiar and we kissed last night Charlie and it was just the same, no it was better. It has to have been her."

God how had I not seen it before? No wonder Fred had been laughing at me. I'd have been laughing at him too if the roles had been reversed.

I'm an idiot. An actual idiot.

"Wait, you kissed?"

I nodded.

"Then why the hell do you look so miserable? You've been wanting to kiss her for months."

"It was amazing Charlie but she, she freaked out a bit."

A bit? I cringed. A lot. I still couldn't understand it. I could still half feel her pressed against me, her hand tangled in my hair as she tried to get closer and she was so fucking responsive. I'd never meant it to be a kiss like that. I'd only meant a quick one, just to test the waters, to at least try and tell her how I was starting to feel but she'd quite clearly kissed me senseless. It was only now I was starting to get a grip of myself and basically stop thinking with my dick.

I'd wanted her for months, by now my morning wank was down to a routine but I wasn't some bloody mindless teenager that couldn't control himself. I knew she wasn't ready for anything like that but…she'd kissed me like she was. I grabbed at my hair in frustration.

Hell I'd been planning everything so carefully, every time I got even a tiny step closer to her had felt like a victory and Merlin it had been working. She'd finally been starting to trust me, she'd even let me wrap my arms around her properly last night at the wedding but I'd be lucky if she'd ever really let me near her now. Everything I learnt about her was everything I had ever wanted.

I wanted a home, I wanted a life outside my job, I wanted a family. When that stupid law had been announced I'd been as pissed off as everyone else but when I'd seen her name…I'd been happy. And as I'd gotten to know her, even just a bit, I knew she was right for me.

I really had fucked everything up.

"Look, George-"

"Who is he Charlie? What is he to her?"

I needed to know.

"Look he's…" Charlie sighed before trying again. "He's always told us he was her brother and yes I know, she says doesn't have one. That's what she told me and Alina a couple of months back. But he's adamant he is George. I mean the shit was supposed to warn her he was coming. I fucked up there, I'm sorry."

I shook my head. Her brother? But Non didn't have any family left. Then again given how Non had acted today there seemed to be a lot of things she'd been hiding. Did I really know her at all?

"C'mon George lets head back, although maybe leave off punching anyone else. I think Mum's going to go bananas if there's any more violence."

"He knew Charlie. He knew who she was and he didn't tell me."

I'd seen the unasked question on his face, I mean it wasn't exactly normal of me to punch Fred. I mean we never argued not properly, or we hadn't until after the war. Things had never been the same.

Charlie clapped me on the back and as we made our way back to the garden I slid into a seat between him and dad. Fred was opposite me but was quite pointedly ignoring me but I didn't mind. He shouldn't have kept it from me.

"Right well I think I speak for everyone here when I ask you for an explanation Gruff. Gin asked the right question earlier and Charlie's answer didn't really clear it up. Who are you?"

I couldn't even find it in myself to be really angry with the figure sat at the end of the table when he glanced up at dad's question. I was jealous, most definitely, but I was so worried about Non that hardly seemed to matter anymore. And maybe, just maybe he could shed some light on to what happened to her.

"It's not easy to explain."

"Try."

It was one word but Ginny had still managed to lace it with fury and I could see Gruff wince as he rubbed a hand over his face.

"I've known Non since she was born. I'm from Ynys Hir, I was born on the dragon reservation. I never knew my mother, and it was left to Mr Jones to raise me."

His face had twisted, but whatever emotions he was feeling they passed to quickly over his face for me to read.

"There was a local couple, a wizard with a muggle wife, that occasionally looked after me. Normally of an evening or on the weekend. They were called Mr and Mrs Llewellyn. I always thought they offered to help, because they couldn't have children of their own but when I was nearly ten that changed. Mali – Mrs Llewellyn – got pregnant."

He took a pause to drink and it was so quiet you could even hear the gnomes chattering away at the bottom of the garden. Just where was he going with this?

"I was jealous. I thought that when the baby came Mr and Mrs Llewellyn wouldn't want to look after me anymore but then Non was born and - and I've never loved anything more in my entire life. And she – she adored me. Do you have any idea what it's like to go through your life with no one loving you until all of a sudden there's one person who did? Non didn't just tolerate me, or look after me for a favour – she loved me."

"What happened?"

Luna's soft voice seemed to nearly make this Gruff cry and he rubbed at his face roughly.

"It was fine when I was at Hogwarts, it meant I could spend my time either at school or the Llewellyn's where I'd help look after Non. Things only started to go really wrong once I'd graduated. I couldn't afford to move so I had to stay at Ynys Hir and the months Non was away at school were…hard. I mean I liked working with the dragons but…life can be difficult there, the weather's always shit and sometimes you don't see a friendly face for days. I got into all sorts of trouble, I started a band just to try and get away, and I think one year I just shagged my way around all of the local villages. Lonely farmers' wives were always grateful."

I risked a glance at mum's face at that and had an absurd urge to snigger. She looked horrified.

"What do you mean by trouble?"

Uh oh, she now had that narrowed eyes nostril flaring look.

"Petty crime really, I'd steal a bit, deal a bit in drugs, anything to get some extra money to help with the band. I saw it as my ticket out of there, stupid really."

"But Non didn't know anything of it?"

"Of course she did. I used to get her to stand as look out for me before she cottoned on to what I was doing. She's always had the better moral compass. Point is Mrs Weasley is that I was bad news, I was reckless and the older we got the more times I got her hurt."

"Hurt? What do you mean?"

Hermione sounded startled but I was glad she'd asked the question, I think I preferred it that everyone was doing the questioning for me.

"God where to start. One time, I think I was nineteen so Non must have been about nine, I tried to get her over her fear of flying on a broomstick. I had it all planned out, I took her over one of the lakes but I forgot to keep a proper grip on her and she fell off. She had two days in a coma in St Mungo's for that one. Lacerated spleen and a few broken bones I think she had. Oh and then another time I'd brought her with me to a gig but then gotten so drunk I couldn't apparate us home so I stole a car to drive. I crashed it obviously. She only broke her wrist that time at least, she was twelve."

"Fuck Gruff you never mentioned any of that before."

Charlie was looking stunned. I think we all were.

"The worst one was when she was fifteen. We'd been playing a gig in Aberystwyth and I'd managed to persuade Non to do backing vocals for us. I got absolutely pissed and towards the end I knocked her off the stage and she went crashing through some empty pint glasses. She ended up with a massive shard of glass puncturing her lung. We had to take her to the muggle hospital for that one. She nearly died, the doctors said something about a clot."

I could see Gruff was nearly deathly pale, he clearly hated recalling it and I couldn't understand why he was telling us all of this.

"What on earth were her parents doing letting you look after her?"

I glanced in surprise at Percy, but he was busy polishing his glasses to try and hide his fury even as I saw Audrey place a hand on his arm and I nearly laughed at the flare of jealousy I felt. God, now really wasn't the time.

Get a grip George. You should be asking these things.

"I used to ask myself that a lot, but I was never brave enough to ask but that last time was too much so I did. And Geraint – Mr Llewellyn- he finally told me. He said he was my father. That they'd never said so as to protect Mali. It was why Mr Jones had always hated me. That – that messed me up quite a bit. I-I hadn't been great anyway but it tipped me right over so I left."

"Left? How do you mean left?"

"I just…left. I travelled for a bit the first year but to be completely honest I was so fucked up I don't remember a lot of it. I somehow found myself in Romania and I've been there ever since."

"And you told them? I mean they knew where you were?"

I squirmed slightly at how panicked mum's questions were but I couldn't take my eyes off Gruff.

"No. I figured they'd all have been better off without me."

"You didn't-you didn't even leave them a note?"

"Didn't you listen to me? I nearly killed her Mrs Weasley, and she would have tried to find me."

"Did you know her parents are dead?"

Harry's question seemed to be the first one to truly rock him but I could hardly take it in. So this guy, who was pretty much raising her like her brother, who then turned out was her brother had nearly killed her and then just run away. Was today the first time she'd seen him since then?

Oh Non.

Merlin no wonder she'd cried, no wonder she'd then screamed at him.

"I looked for their names after the war in those lists they had and I saw Non lived."

"And you…you didn't come back for her?" I glanced in alarm at Audrey, I'd never heard her speak like that. "She had – she had nothing. And you – you abandoned her! No don't tell me to calm down Percy! Think of what he's done to her. You said it that she loved you and then you left without telling her she must have been out of her mind with worry and then when she had nothing I mean literally fucking nothing and you just abandoned her all over again!"

Audrey was crying. Scrap that so was Hermione and mum.

"God no wonder she punched you."

I winced at the look on Ginny's face. There was a bat bogey hex incoming at some point I was sure.

Why aren't I angry?

I didn't know why I wasn't. I wasn't jealous any more that was for sure I was just…worried. I couldn't feel anything beyond that. I didn't even feel like I could move. My eyes tracked Ron as he slowly got to his feet, a scowl starting to form on his face.

"So let me get this straight when she saw you earlier, that was the first time she'd seen you since she was fifteen? And she pretty much must have thought you were dead?"

Gruff nodded with a wince.

"And your second conversation, after I stopped her kicking the crap out of you, what did you tell her?"

"The truth."

Ron let out a string of curses before he turned and stormed off and this time I felt fear settle into my gut, and I buried my head in my hands.

When Non had really needed me, really truly needed all of us what the hell had we done to help her? Nothing. I mean how was anyone supposed to process something like this let alone Non who now had to place herself in an environment that, and it was putting it mildly, didn't bloody well agree with her.

And there are dementors.

Fuck. Just…fuck.

"I have a question of my own."

I glanced up when no one responded to Gruff. Charlie and Alina sounded like they were in the kitchen trying to calm down Audrey and Percy, Ron of course had gone but everyone else was just silent. They seemed stunned.

"What is it?"

My voice sounded gravelly to my own ears and I cleared my throat.

"What the hell happened to her during the war?"

Well, it was a good question. It's not like I hadn't wondered it myself. There were so many times I'd wanted to ask but Non was so closed off about things I knew I couldn't just outright ask her. I'd been trying to piece bits together like how she restricted access to her home and then yesterday morning when she'd been terrified at the thought of getting it connected to the floo network. Something had obviously happened, but I didn't want to force her to tell me. I figured the girls would all answer though and I glanced at them in confusion when they didn't. In fact, they looked baffled.

"Don't any of you know?"

God why weren't they answering.

"Gin?"

I felt dad place a warning hand on my arm and I took a deep breath.

"I thought she'd told Luna or Hermione I-" my face twisted as I heard her voice catch, I hated it when Ginny got tearful and I cursed myself for speaking to sharply but seriously, how could none of them know?

"Didn't any of you ever ask?"

"Okay don't you get angry at us when you're the one who disappeared and left her."

I winced on Ginny's behalf because she'd tried for anger but her voice had wobbled so badly.

"I think she told Justin."

Hermione's voice sounded thick, like she was also trying not to cry again but a derisive snort from Gruff had me turning my gaze back to him.

"Typical, should have known. How come she hasn't married him already? That was always her plan."

I felt sick.

"He's dead."

"Oh. I – I didn't know. Ah shit. Well, surely she's told Chloe and Anna. Where are they anyway?"

Merlin he didn't know.

"They're dead too. Anna was murdered by Voldemort and Chloe died at Azkaban."

I don't know if it was the contrast between Luna's light and soft voice and the message she was conveying but disbelief seemed to shine clear on Gruff's face, until I swear it physically crumpled.

"Everyone's dead. That's what she said to me. I didn't – I didn't know."

He looked appalled and I hoped it was at himself.

"You're here now."

I think we all startled at Harry's voice. He'd hardly spoken since he'd arrived back from the prison and I'd been jealous when Non had tried to help him, god even the sight of her arm looped through his had near driven me crazy and I shook my head at the absurdity of it all. The fact that she had been trying to process everything that Gruff had just told her but she'd still been able to try and look after Harry…she was amazing. She was amazing and good and fucking perfect and none of us deserved her.

"She might need you when she gets back. You can start making up to her then."

I felt another absurd stab of jealousy puncture through my worry. I didn't want Non to need Gruff I wanted her to need me. God, I was selfish. I rubbed a tired hand over my face again. I couldn't get the idea of Non being alone with just dementors for company out of my head.

The early evening sort of broke up then. Fred and Hermione disappeared first, followed by Harry and Ginny. I needed to talk with Fred, I think a part of me knew I was so angry with him because I was so angry at myself. I should have figured out who Non was so much sooner. Fuck I was an idiot.

"Oh Georgie I'm sorry."

I glanced up startled at mum's voice. My neck cracked as well, god how long had I been sat here?

"What do you mean mum?"

"I let her down earlier dear."

I couldn't fight the frown on my face.

"We all have. I – I need to head back to the shop."

I didn't particularly feel like arguing with mum. I knew why she'd been awkward with Non earlier, it was because I'd been upset but I'd been angry with her then and I didn't want to get angry again with her now.

When I let myself back into the flat it was silent. So no Fred. I grimaced. That was not going to be a pretty conversation. I flopped down on to the couch before I could stop myself I grabbed the discarded blanket from the morning before and breathed it in. It smelled like her. God this was pathetic. I was pathetic.

I moved to lie on my back and tucked the blanket under my chin. I wasn't hungry, I wasn't angry and all I wanted was for Non to be here. Just to hold her. She just…fit. I must have stayed there for hours just gazing at the ceiling as I tried to fight with the fear I could feel occasionally sweeping over me. What was she doing? Was she on duty? Had she had to fight off dementors yet? Round and round the questions went and I couldn't stop them.

The next two days were torture. I hadn't apologised to Fred but we'd entered some sort of strange truce. I supposed it helped he spent so much time with Hermione but the brief moments I'd seen her she looked so guilt ridden I was glad not to be around them.

I felt a constant nagging panic. Each time I thought I'd got to grips with it, another wave would hit me. If it hadn't been for work I'd have gone out of my mind.

Is this how Non always feels?

The thought startled me and it was still all I could think about as I arrived at The Burrow after work on the Tuesday. Non was due back today but we weren't sure what time, and I was constantly checking my notepad but she hadn't messaged me at all. After she'd said how I'd made her anxious and now knowing slightly how that felt, I didn't dare message her.

"Not much longer now George."

I grunted an acknowledgement at dad. Not much longer was too long. I tapped an uneven rhythm on the table, ignoring the irritated glances mum was sending me until finally I felt the notepad heat up and I flipped it open.

[On nitebus.]

"She's on the knight bus! Dad where does it stop in the village?"

"By the post box dear."

It was mum that answered but I didn't waste time to answer and apparated directly there from the kitchen. Godric why was time moving so slowly? I paced back and forth while I waited until fucking finally the thunderous bang sounded and the purple bus appeared. I raced forward as the doors opened but skidded to a halt when Non appeared. What the fuck had happened to her?

Her legs were caked with mud up to over her knees, she was soaking wet and the circles under her eyes were so dark it was like she'd been punched.

"Non!"

She blinked at me in confusion, in fact her eyes didn't seem focused at all. She muttered something but it was in Welsh and I didn't understand her. God I really, really needed to try and learn it. I'd had a look in The Magner Liber and some of the muggle bookshops but there was bugger all learning material available. Maybe when things were right between us again I'd ask her but first things first I had to get her home and quickly.

I managed to get one arm around her tightly to free up my wand hand and before we could blink we were back outside The Burrow and I barrelled through the front door.

"Mum! Dad! Help!"

I didn't know what else to say. Mum came bustling in and I could hear her hold back a strangled cry at the sight of her.

"George dear move her into the living room, quick I'll dry her clothes…"

A muted moan sounded from behind us and I was surprised to see Fleur, she must have arrived when I'd gone to collect Non.

"Ah her poor boots! Quick George pass them here."

"Her boots? Fuck her boots Fleur!"

I was furious. Didn't she have any fucking eyes?

"She will be upset George if they are ruined and Molly will be able to help her here more than me."

My fingers trembled as I tried to get the boots off Non's feet. She was still muttering in Welsh but she couldn't seem to focus on any of us. I was still too angry to speak to Fleur when I passed the boots over but she just shook her head at me, took another look at Non and then muttered she would go and get Gruff.

He'd set up camp in his tent right at the base of the garden I knew. He'd offered to tell us more about Non if we wanted to but after Luna had pointed out that it should be up to Non to share things with us if she wanted none of us had taken him up on his offer although Merlin had I wanted to. But Luna was right in a way, Non really was so private I didn't think she'd be happy with Gruff sharing her past.

It wasn't long until he arrived and he swore when he saw her before he rushed forward.

"What is it Gruff, what is she saying? She keeps saying her name and I'm sure it's something about Hufflepuff but…"

Mum was twisting her hands in worry as she trailed off. Gruff listened for a few seconds before he spoke.

"I'm Non Llewellyn. I'm sixteen years old. I'm a Hufflepuff."

The silence was painful.

Non what happened to you?

"Dadi?"

I startled at her voice, I at least recognised that word and I saw Gruff swallow heavily before he murmured a reply and cupped her cheek. She was at least looking at him, although she was clearly seeing someone else. Her face crumpled. It wasn't quick, it was like a slow movement of a wave that past over her face and she fell with it, her head burrowing into Gruff's shoulder and she cried. It was the type that started slowly until the strength of her sobs shook her and I could see he struggled to reposition himself to support her, before he gave up crouching and moved to lift her before he settled in the armchair by the fire and rocked her in his lap.

Just like if she was still a child.

"George dear let's leave them for a while."

I didn't want to go but as he was rocking her he'd started to sing just softly but it was enough to start to settle her and I felt absurdly like I was interjecting on a private family moment. I couldn't understand the words, I couldn't – I didn't understand Non and when I finally followed mum to the kitchen and sat down so stare glumly at the table top I wondered if I ever would.

A/N: So another chapter, and I tried something new for the second half with a George POV. I'm not sure I captured his voice right but let me know what you think. I'm not going to be making a habit of him featuring just so you know.

Also I hadn't planned on updating so soon but this chapter just wouldn't stay in my head. I'm not entirely happy with it so as ever would love your feedback.

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed – it was amazing to see the response the last chapter got, so I'm looking forward to your views on this one.

And I have over 150 followers now! Kind of crazy really, but I appreciate every one of you.

Diolch/Thanks,

Yav