Hey guys I'm back.
Now before you start a riot and ask why I've been gone a year, let me just say sorry.
I really have been trying to write more, but with all the shit I've had to deal with I just couldn't.
I won't bother you guys with my problems, so I'll just give a brief summary.
I've been feeling depressed so I decided to write a depression story.
The self harm the protagonist commits however is not a reflection of myself.
This is not a self insert, just an OC. This character is not me. As bad as my depression gets sometimes, i would never commit self harm.
Anyway, basically this is a girl from our world reincarnated in DxD.
Want to know more? Read the story.
Enjoy.
(First Person P.O.V)
Darkness
That's what I was currently surrounded by. But, funnily enough, I didn't feel scared. It felt warm and comforting, like it wanted to hold me in it's relaxing embrace forever.
Who am I? I don't really know myself. There's not much I can really be certain about, but I can say for sure that I'm a girl. Or at least I was. That's the thing about dying, you forget who you were.
Yeah, you heard me right, I'm dead. As a doornail. Stone cold dead. It's actually rather peaceful.
It was the worst day of my life and it ended up being the final nail in the coffin, quite literally as I had ended up taking my own life.
It's not really that surprising, I had been contemplating suicide for a while now. My life was just a cluster of disasters and disappointments, one after the other. At least, I think it was.
I can't remember faces or names, (including my own), but other than that I still have most of my memories. Even if I would rather not have them at all.
My mind flashed back to the hell that my life was. My father's death. My mother turning to alcohol and the abuse she put me through. The day she stabbed me. The beatings the school bullies would give me. The times I would cut myself, numerous as they were.
Of course I also reminisced on the good times, even if there weren't many. Like the time I made my first and only friend, who just so happened to be my neighbor. He introduced me to anime and video games, I would also go to his house when I wanted to get away from mother. We would always stay up all night and watch our favorite anime, or play our favorite games. He even tried to help me with my depression, he would always drop everything if he thought I needed a shoulder to cry on.
In case any of you are wondering, no he didn't like me like that, he was gay. My mother was a huge homophobic, and didn't want me spending time with him. I'm pretty sure she just didn't want me to have friends and be happy. This actually lead to her stabbing me like I mentioned earlier.
Unfortunately she stabbed me in the spleen and I ended up having to get it removed. My friend heard the commotion from next door and came running over only to find me with a knife in my gut. He called me an ambulance and stayed with me until they arrived. He would come visit me in the hospital every day. The police never found my mother, but the day I was released from the hospital, she found me.
My friend was helping me home, he had just sat me down on my couch when I heard a loud bang. My friend froze, he slowly looked down at he chest, and right where his heart should be has a small hole that was leaking blood, fast. He fell over, barely moving. Behind me I could hear my mother laughing as she walked twords me, I could smell the alcohol on her from where I was, but even as she walked in front of me I never took my eyes of my friend.
I had tears in my eyes, my only friend was dying, because of me. My mother had put the gun to my forehead, but before she could pull the trigger and before even I had time to think, I pulled the gun and her hand to the left and snapped her thin wrist. I then kicked her knee to the side, nakin her fall down, and shot her in the head.
I looked back to my friend and got on my knees by him, he was dead. The only person to ever care about me, was dead. I sobbed for hours, I felt like the scum of the earth, because of me the nicest person I had ever met, the person who had always tried to help me, the person who was always like a big brother to me, was dead. I looked up from his body and saw the weapon that killed him, still lying next to the BITCH that killed him. On shaking knees I got up and walked twords the gun. I picked it up and saw it was still loaded, giving my friends body one last, sad look, I put the gun to my head and then, darkness.
It hurts to think about him, even after everything he did for me I can't even remember his name anymore. If I still had a body I'm sure I would be crying again.
I started to think of something else so as not to sadden myself anymore.I wondered if I was getting reincarnated? If so than I really hope I loose the rest of my memories, they'll only cause me pain.
Except my anime, the times I watched anime with my friend were some of my happiest memories, same with video games. Those are some memories that I'd like to keep, like the time we stayed up for two days binge watching...no.
...no
Nononononononononono
I CAN'T REMEMBER. I CAN'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT. All I got is the general idea of the shows. I can't remember the one about that ginger kid who becomes death. I can't remember those guys who get stronger by yelling. I can't remember when what's his face learned Haki.
Wait, I remember what Haki is? Why do I remember Haki? It's just a technique like the Kamehameha...wait, I remember that too?
...I need to try something.
let's see Getsuga Tensho? Check.
Kaioken? Check.
Shadow clone? Check.
Check
Check
Check
I spent God only knows how long listing off all the techniques I can think of from anime and video games, even a few things I wouldn't really consider techniques, like like alchemy, and they're all still there. I can't remember the shows but I can remember the techniques.
THAT'S BULLSHIT
I have to keep my depressing ass memories, but I lose the good stuff. Why the hell do I remember those things anyway though?
Is this an isekai? God damnit, this is an isekai isn't it?!
I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF I GET REINCARNATED INTO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE DXD I'LL...wait.
I can remember DxD...FUCK, THAT IS WHERE I'M GOING ISN'T IT?!?!
Shit, I can't survive there! I only watched the anime, I've never even touched one of the light novels! I always meant to because I like the story despite all the fan service, but I just never got around to finding one.
Why am I freaking out you ask? DxD rules you say? I'll tell you why I'm freaking out, FUCKING TRIHEXA. I may not have read the light novels, but I do know about that abomination.
I don't know how the FUCK the thing gets released, or how the hell I can stop it. All I know is that it can kick Great Reds ass.
Alright, calm down girl. Listen to yourself, you only curse when you're scared or angry, calm down.
INHALE*
EXHALE*
I can't actually breath here, but it still helped to calm me down.
Okay I feel better, got so angry I gave myself a headache.
...wait, when did I start feeling my head again?
I was so distracted by the possibility of being reborn in DxD I didn't even notice that the darkness was starting to squeeze me. Looking up I saw a blinding white light.
The walls started to clamp down on me harder, and I could feel I was being pushed closer to the light. I'm being born again art I?
I don't know how long it took me to be born, and quiet frankly would rather forget the... unpleasant experience altogether. But both fortunately and unfortunately was distracted the whole time I was being born I just kept thinking the same thing to myself, over and over again.
'Please don't be DxD. Please don't be DxD. Please don't be DxD.'
A.N
Alright guys let me know what you think so far. Can't promise regular updates but I will promise I'll try.
Edit: almost completely rewrote the chapter.