chapter twelve: the fever dream breaks
They're leaving the ice cream parlor when it happens.
Ben sucks a drop of blackberry off the side of his hand while Rey savors the taste of dulce de leche still sweet on her tongue. She's still laughing over the ridiculous story he told about the incompetence of his nemesis at work. Her mind is a beautifully blank canvas of happiness and a vague curiosity of what it would taste like if they happened to mix the flavors clinging to their lips.
So she isn't much paying attention to anything that isn't Ben when she practically runs into someone stepping out of another shop. Ben deftly pulls her away before she can collide with the stranger. When she looks up to apologize, she finds herself looking directly into the startled blue eyes of Luke Skywalker.
She sucks in a sharp breath.
It takes him half a beat, but then recognition flashes over his face like lightning and his eyes widen. "You again!"
"Luke!" She stammers. And then, because she didn't know how important he was last time, she corrects herself, "I — I mean, Mister Skywalker!"
"What are you doing here?" he asks, and then his glance flicks to Ben behind her. A shadow falls over his face and his mouth settles into a deep frown within his groomed beard. "Ben."
Ben lets go of Rey's arm and takes a step back. His dark eyes glitter with malice. "Uncle," he says coldly.
Rey edges in front of him, putting herself between the two men. She makes her voice light and easy, like she's not aware of how tense everyone has suddenly gotten.
"It's good to see you again!" she lies. "I'm sorry I didn't know who you were at the bar. I really made a fool of myself. My friends told me after and I was so embarrassed. That was really nice of you to talk to me, though."
Luke's attention doesn't waver from Ben, his eyes like two chips of ice for all the warmth they hold for his nephew. He addresses Rey. "If you recall, I talked to you to give you some advice."
"Yeah," Rey acknowledges, still trying to keep it light. "I didn't really take it, I guess."
"Clearly." Finally Luke looks at her. Irritation pulls at his beard. "As if Han wasn't a bad enough influence, you're now hanging out with his son? Did you hear absolutely nothing of what I said to you?"
"About Ben?" Rey remembers their conversation extremely well. She knows now how he mischaracterized Ben and the events surrounding Ben's split from the family. "I heard you. But I also know there are two sides to every story. And your advice about Han is probably still wise, but I really like hanging out with him. I told you that at the bar."
Luke's eyes narrow with sudden mistrust. "Who are you?"
"What do you mean? I'm Rey, I told you before—"
"No, Rey, I mean who are you to us? Why do I keep finding you buzzing around disaffected members of my family? Are you a reporter?"
Her eyes widen. "No, definitely not."
"A stalker?"
"No!" Well — possibly what she's doing to Han could fall under that category, but for that matter what Ben is doing to her could as well.
"Then what is this about?" he demands.
"It's not about anything!" She feels defensive now, and it doesn't help that Ben has become a living radiator of hostility behind her, which she can feel even without looking back at him for confirmation. "I just started talking to Han because of his car, and it's all kind of spiraled from there."
Luke isn't convinced. He throws his suspicious glare onto Ben. "Is she your spy, nephew? Have you sent her to cozy up to your father with the hopes that he'll reveal some sort of information you can take back to Snoke?"
Ben makes some kind of sound, and Rey can't tell if it's a laugh of incredulity or a growl of irritation.
As for herself, she gives Luke a confused sort of stare. "That would be a terrible way to get information. Han never talks about any of you."
Luke seems momentarily taken aback by that, but he recovers quickly and gives her a hard look. "So I'm just supposed to believe that you're nobody, just a kid with a penchant for associating with the worst people?"
"I've associated with you," she says, "so what answer does that give?"
Luke blinks at her, and then a moment later he barks a gruff but genuine laugh. "Okay, I walked into that one. So the answer is a resounding yes."
Rey grins a little. She glances back at Ben, who does not give even the barest hint of a smile at this joke. He looks stiff and irritated and when he meets her glance, she can feel his unvocalized request for them to leave.
But Luke isn't finished with them yet. He turns on his nephew, and his humor is gone. "What are you doing here with her, Ben? Trying to seduce someone young and gullible?"
"Whoa," Rey says, holding up a hand. "First of all, I'm really not that gullible. And second of all, I can take care of myself."
"He's preying on you," Luke says with certainty. "You just can't see it."
Ben lets out a low hiss and turns away. Rey looks at him again, nervous at the anger coiling in his muscles. She whirls back to Luke.
"Why would you accuse him of something like that?"
"I don't know what lies he's told you, Rey, but you shouldn't trust his intentions. He doesn't have much sense of honor left."
"Okay," she replies, her blood running hot now. "You're being extremely rude. You mind stepping aside for a private word?"
Luke lifts a brow, his gaze following her quick motion to the end of the strip mall. Still, he gives her a stiff nod, stalking off in the indicated direction. Rey is a little surprised. She didn't think he would go for it. She's about to follow him when Ben catches her arm.
"Don't," he says, his face hard, his mouth pulled down into anger and concern. "Nothing good can come of anything you have to say to him."
She gives him a reassuring smile. "Probably not, but he can't really do anything to me. Just wait here. I'll be right back. He shouldn't get away with his childishness. I don't want him to hurt you anymore."
Ben's hand loosens. He doesn't like it, but he isn't going to put up a fight. She trots off after Luke, keenly aware of Ben's intense gaze on her. None of this is her business, she knows, but if she has even the slightest chance of doing some good here, she'll take it. After what Ben told her in the woods, she doesn't want him to live with this terrible rift in his family anymore.
She stops at the end of the row of shops to address this grumpy old man with a huge grudge against his own blood.
"So do you you ever want to mend things with your nephew, or are you determined to keep up this family feud forever?" she demands.
Luke's lip curls. "What do you know about it?"
"I know what you've told me, the very little I've been able to get out of Han, and what Ben has told me."
"And you believed Ben," Luke scoffs. "Because he's young and tragic and you've fallen for a pair of pretty eyes."
"That's condescending," Rey snaps, her temper flaring. It doesn't matter how famous Luke Skywalker is, right now he's being an ass. "And it's misogynistic, and neither of those are a good look on you."
Luke scowls, but he doesn't argue.
Rey pulls back a little of her fire back and says deliberately, "Ben told me about going to Empire. He told me about your argument, and what you said. Tell me it's a lie, if you want me to believe your side of the story. Tell me that you didn't call him the shame of the family."
Luke's anger falters. His eyes flicker and drop away from her. "He was talking to the competition."
Rey knows it sounds lame even to Luke himself by the grimace me makes. He doesn't seem to believe his own feeble justification.
"And that crime demanded the annihilation of your relationship?" Rey asks skeptically. "You told me Ben destroyed your whole family with his actions. Did he? Because he said he couldn't bring himself to accept Snoke's offers until your argument pushed him."
Luke glances back at her, and she can see and sense his pride wrestling with his heart.
She pushes a little further. "Did any of you stop to ask him what he wanted to do with his life? Even once? Or did you just throw all your expectations upon him and tell him he wouldn't be good enough to live up to them?"
He flinches from this accusation, but to his credit does not mount a defense. Instead, he gives her a mildly irritated look. "You're overly informed for a corporate espionage agent."
"I'm not a spy, Luke. The only person Ben is spying on his father. And he's only doing that because he knows that Han coming back here means people will start looking for him."
Luke is startled. "He's watching Han? Are you someone he hired to watch Han for him?"
"No. That's just how he found me. He's been keeping an eye, but he got nervous when I started hanging around. And don't accuse him of trying to steal information — whatever Han means to you and your sister, it's completely clear that he has nothing at all to do with your business."
Luke grunts in acknowledgement of this.
"Ben is watching because he still cares. He can't help himself," Rey says. She glances back at Ben, who is staring into a shop window, arms folded, trying and failing to act like he isn't at all interested. She smiles fleetingly.
Luke exhales heavily. "It doesn't matter. How it all happened, my fault, his fault, his parents, it doesn't matter. It's ruined anyway."
"What's broken can't be fixed in a single conversation," Rey acknowledges, "but he is ready for some healing, I think. He's leaving Empire today."
Luke lifts a single eyebrow. He doesn't believe her at all.
"It's true," she says. "He's ready to make something of his own. That's why I'm with him right now — he needed someone to support his decision. It's a big first step."
"He's lying to you," Luke says, unimpressed. "He's not going to quit."
"He is," Rey insists. "I know he is. And this might be the right time for the people who love him to try to show him that love. In the way he needs to receive it."
Because even though Luke is incredibly hostile towards Ben, Rey has to believe that somewhere inside him he still lives his nephew. She has to believe Ben's family aches for him as he aches for them.
If this broken family can be fixed, maybe there is hope for her and Mando and Dyn to make something real out of their own too.
Luke stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets and considers her skeptically. "Is that why you were sent here? To fix us?"
"Sent by whom?"
He shrugs. "The universe. Fate. The Earth Mother. God. Whatever you want to believe in."
"Do you believe in that stuff?" she asks, genuinely surprised. He seems far too cynical for something like that.
But a look of mischief comes into his face and the tension between them dissolves. "More than you know. I have a healthy respect for the metaphysical. You should too, if you know what's good for you."
Rey laughs. "I think I'm more open to it than I was a few days ago. But I don't think my job here is to fix your family. That's your own job. I'm just here to—" arrest Han, she remembers abruptly. Swallowing, she searches for an alternative answer. Any other role. "—just...be supportive, I guess."
It's a lame conclusion, and it leaves her feeling dissatisfied.
Still, Luke sighs. "Alright then. Go be supportive and let's see if he actually does what he told you he would. If you're right, I'll think about what you said."
She nods. "Thank you."
"But Rey, seriously, stay away from Han unless you want to get caught up in his legal trouble."
She grins. "I understand the risks."
"You don't, but okay, do whatever you want," Luke says, shaking his head. He gives her a nod of parting. "See you around."
"See you."
She watches him walk away, trying to figure out how a man who can be so cold to his own flesh and blood, who can be so dogmatic and unyielding, can still leave her with the distinct impression that he is a good person.
Eventually Ben comes up behind her. She turns to face him.
"I chastised him," she says, smiling small, shy smile. "He took it well, I think."
Ben nods, giving her a vaguely amused half-grin, but there is no energy in it. He looks resigned.
"Come on," he says softly. "We should catch the next ferry."
The magic of the day has gone out now. Rey can feel the difference, and it makes her a little sad. The Ben that has eagerly shown her his treasured places all day has deflated, leaving behind someone quiet and withdrawn. Their quick drive over to the ferry doesn't have the same kinetic energy crackling between them as before.
Once on board they head to the top deck again. There are fewer people up there, just like before. Just the way he prefers.
Ben goes to the back — no, now this is the front — of the boat and leans on the railing, brows low over his dark eyes, distant storm clouds in his countenance.
"What are you thinking about?" Rey asks gently, sliding up beside him.
He gives her a side glance, his expression clearing for just a moment as he asks with some amusement, "Are you going to tell your friends that you scolded Luke Skywalker today?"
She laughs. "They wouldn't believe me."
He snorts lightly and returns his attention to the distant skyline of the city. "I admit, it's kind of nice to talk to someone who is oblivious to my family's fame."
"I'm not exactly in touch with —" she waves her hands helplessly, "the rich and famous. Not really my thing."
He nods. "Lucky for me."
She bumps her shoulder into his. "Hey. What are you really thinking about? Because that look on your face there isn't from thinking about my knowledge of current affairs."
Ben gives her a long look, as if deciding something. Finally he says, "Lukes hates me. And I hate him. And that bothers you."
"Me? I don't have anything to do with this. It doesn't matter what I think."
"You find it intolerable that my family should be so rent asunder when you are desperately trying to keep your own taped together." He isn't speculating. He says this like he knows it.
Rey stares at him, wanting to argue, to tell him he's wrong, but failing to think of any rebuttal. She can't, because he's right. Her lips come together in a hard line. His attention transfers to them, and then falls away altogether.
"Some things can't be salvaged," he concludes. "Some wrecks are total losses. Mine. Yours. It's better if we just let go of ideas of repairing them and try to make something new instead."
"I don't know if I can," she says honestly.
"You aren't convinced you want to yet. But you could do it, if you were."
Let go of trying to make Mando love her like a daughter? Just...move on? Her whole soul quails at the thought. She doesn't know how to make something new when she doesn't have a good blueprint to follow originally. And she isn't sure what that even means.
"Ben," she ventures softly, "I'm sorry we ran into Luke today. Maybe if I hadn't gone off trail—"
"Don't," he says, cutting her off. "He lives there, and he avoids going into the city unless he has to. The likelihood of running into him was high. Don't take the blame."
"But seeing him hurt you," she protested. "You are wounded. If our timing had been different—"
"I'm the one who brought you here. I took the risk. It's my fault, not yours." His voice is firm.
Rey frowns. She doesn't like the turn this has taken. Maybe she should have told Luke to buzz off instead of pulling him aside, but she suspected that wouldn't have helped either. Just seeing his uncle had made Ben angry. Perhaps if they had lingered in that forest a little longer...had tested the strength of their emotional intimacy and see where it led...
After a moment she offers him a tentative smile and says, "I had a really great time though, before that. I loved everything. I'm really happy we came."
He glances at her, at her smile, and when their eyes meet, they catch and linger. His are searching, full of want. She is again struck with the powerful urge to comfort him, but she isn't sure where the boundary is, or what he'll deem inappropriate. So she puts her hand on his, because she knows this is at least a safe gesture, and leans into his side. Like before, when she did it in the woods, he responds by turning his palm beneath her, this time toying with her fingers against his own. What shudders between them is powerful. Rey wants more than just his hand in hers. She wants...a lot more.
The realization makes her stomach ache and her heart skip nervously.
"I had a good time too," Ben murmurs, his anger fizzling away.
Rey looks up to see that he is studying her. With his free hand, he tucks some of her hair behind her ear, letting his fingertips graze briefly along her jaw.
She inhales a steadying breath, because the touch is threatening all her self control, sending a thrill straight to her toes.
"Rey," Ben says softly, and then stops, swallowing. He looks uncertain and vulnerable. "I...like you. It scares me."
Her breath hitches and her heart stutters. "I feel it too," she whispers.
Then all at once he steps back, pulling his hand out of hers and straightening. "When we get to Empire, you will come with me to my office. I'll have you wait there while I speak to Snoke and hand in my resignation."
Reeling from the abrupt shift, Rey tries to reorient herself. The little bubble of half-spoken things around them pops and suddenly its back to business. She nods. "Okay."
Then, recovering her footing, she offers a bright smile and adds, "I'll pack your things while you're gone!"
A brief, amused grin flickers over his tempting lips. "There really isn't much. But sure, whatever you can find."
"Are you going to make it a dramatic exit?" she asks, her own smile growing. "You going to tell everyone what you really think of them on your way out? Or are you going to try to slink off quietly so nobody knows what happened and they all gossip about it for weeks?"
"Not sure," he replies. "My pride wants the first option. I don't want to give them the satisfaction of thinking I was fired."
"Burning bridges it is, then," she laughs.
It's good to see him relaxing again. Rey feels like she can breathe a little easier, even if she does regret whatever moment has just slipped through their fingers unexplored. And Ben isn't quite as carefree as he was earlier, but at least he isn't angry anymore. Besides, she has to admit, she's excited to see what happens next. What kind of mood might seize him when he's finally free of his miserable job.
If the only good thing she does here before arresting Han and going home is to help Ben find a path to a happier life, she'll leave satisfied.
Probably.
But leaving at all has become something of a sore spot and she'd rather not think of it now. Because of her friends.
Because of Ben.
A/N: I know it's a shorty-short chapter and you were expecting it yesterday, but don't worry! The next chapter is ready, I'm just touching it up now and you will have it TODAY! Double-chapter day to beg your forgiveness for the delayed update :D It'll be up in a couple hours after I go get a haircut.