*Disclaimer - I do not own any part of the Walking Dead or the characters, thoughts or concepts. Nothing. I own nothing.*

The Diary of Jane

Daryl scoffed in his tent, they didn't know the first thing about survival, he thought. Olive Oil and Peach comin' over here trying to get him to do the bitch work. He wasn't no one's bitch, and he was done fetchin people. They wanted someone found they could just do it them damn selves. Figure out how to track and hunt, and give a damn about their own survival, instead of relying on him. Those pansy asses didn't know nothin, and chances are they would have been those people who would have passed judgement on him, so why should he give a damn about people who probably wouldn't have given a damn about him?

Okay, maybe not Rick, he seemed like he was probably a decent person before all this. A respectable cop, which wasn't something Daryl thought often. He didn't know why; he had every reason in the world to hate the man. He had handcuffed his brother to a roof and left him there, after all.

It was a little voice in the back of his head though that told him Rick was probably warranted in doing that. He knew Merle, Merle did not play well with others. He was always the one getting them into tight spots, and usually relying on Daryl to get them out. It was Merle that always told him, the only people he could trust were Dixon's, but Daryl was starting to trust Rick, against his better judgement.

Rick had done right by him, didn't talk down to him like he was an idiot. Sure, he'd held a gun to his head a few times, but those had been for a good reason too. He had been thinking a lot about why he stayed with the group after the quarry, and the CDC. Originally it was easy, he was looking for Sophia, being the only one who could track her, it made sense. But they had found her, and it had all been for nothing. She was dead, but he was still here. Still though he wasn't exactly packing his bags to leave, even though he had pissed everyone off by not letting anyone know that Lori had come to him about Rick. Shane had gone and brought Lori back, but Rick, Hershel, the china man, and new girl were all still missing.

He'd tried to reassure himself throughout the night that Rick and Glenn knew how to take care of themselves out there, he'd seen that before. And the new girl, well if she could make it by herself for the last 2 months then she could probably take care of herself too. He would never admit it, but the girl was damn good with that bow. They would be fine. Everyone was just gettin their panties bunched for nothin. That little voice in the back of his head just wouldn't shut up though. What if they had gotten in trouble, and Daryl could have helped? Just cause he didn't care about them, didn't mean he wanted them dead - at least, that's what he was tellin himself.

He had started pacing in front of his tent, because whether he admitted it or not, he was worried about them. They should have been back a long time ago, he looked across the yard at the other campsite. He could see an outline on top of the RV, probably Dale, he thought.

Dale was another one he liked, he said a lot of weird shit, but he didn't talk down to you and he always seemed genuinely interested in Daryl's opinion on things. Daryl sighed, he saw the beginning rays of light, and made a decision. He grabbed his bag and threw his canteen in it with some spare food. He decided to wear his jacket, he figured the sleeves could give him extra protection against walkers if they started to swarm them. He grabbed his crossbow and threw it over his shoulders and set off for the other campsite.

"We headin' out?" He asked when he saw that Shane, and T-Dog were grabbing supplies, and making sure the guns were loaded.

"Yup" Shane said, as he looked Daryl up and down "you solid?" He asked.

"Ready when you are" He told them, Shane just nodded "Let's grab the map, and get the car loaded then" Shane instructed them. Daryl knew that Shane wanted to be in charge, so he was a little surprised he was so gung-ho to go get Rick back. Daryl wasn't stupid, and he had definitely noticed the tension between Shane and Rick. Shane had been a pretty good leader for their camp before Rick had gotten there, and maybe he could have kept it up, but people just didn't flock to Shane like they did Rick. Shane was always going to be second to Rick, and Daryl could see that ate him up. Throw a woman into the mix, and it was ticking time bomb that was about to explode.

Just as the sun had crested the horizon, they heard the unmistakable sounds of a vehicle coming up the drive. They all looked up to see Hershel's truck come flying up the driveway. It was hard to tell who all was in the truck, but it seemed full.

The sounds of the truck had brought the others outside to stand with them as the truck got to the house. Lori and Carl ran to Rick as he got out of the driver's side, and Maggie had run around Hershel to hug Glen when he got out from the back. Daryl noticed that the new girl had stepped around Rick's family and was making her way to the house. He got the sense she was trying not to draw attention to herself. It didn't work.

"Emma, you get back here!" He heard Maggie yell. She was pointing at the new girl, and she was pissed.

"Uh, guys... "he heard T-Dog say "who tha fuck is that?" He was pointing inside the truck. Daryl ran up the driver's side, and sure enough in the middle of the back seat was a kid, maybe 18, blindfolded and bandaged.

"That's Randall" something in Glenn's voice said that Randall was not a good thing.

Daryl couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had snuck into the meeting while they were already talking about what had happened. Daryl couldn't help but agree that they probably should have just left this kid to his fate. An unknown was not a good thing these days, and you couldn't afford to make a mistake anymore. The problem was, what to do with him now. The options weren't good, they were essentially condemning the kid to die either way.

"Well I've repaired what I could '' Hershel said as he stepped into the room. Daryl had seen him come in a few minutes ago from performing the surgery. It looked like he had gotten himself cleaned up. "But he is going to be out cold for a while at least; and he won't be on his feet for at least a week. So, we don't have to make any decisions yet" He added looking at Rick.

Dale was the only one who out and out refused to condemn the kid to anything that would get him killed. He wanted them to give him a chance to prove himself, they could at least wait until he wakes up and they could ask him a couple of questions. Rick agreed to that, for the time being. You could almost feel the tension leave the room, no one had really liked the idea of murder. Cold blooded or otherwise.

When the meeting was over, Daryl was the first one out the door. He wasn't comfortable just yet with the whole group dynamic. Plus, Carol had seen him come in, and she was giving him these 'I told you so" looks, and he didn't like other people being right neither.

Everyone broke off into their little groups and went about their business, Daryl had propped himself up on the railing of the porch, and was absentmindedly cleaning his crossbow, he was thinking about going hunting. You couldn't have too much food these days, and he was wondering if they could start curing some of the extra meat they got. Winter was going to be here soon, and the game was already sparse enough as it was. He was thinking he could talk to Rick and Hershel about that, and he was hoping Hershel would have at least some of what they needed.

Daryl realized he could hear raised voices from across the porch. He looked up, figuring Shane had probably popped off again or somethin', and he saw it was Emma and Maggie.

Maggie was following Emma down the stairs begging her to stop. "Em, please don't do this" she pleaded. Whatever it was, it didn't sound good. Emma had stopped and turned to look at Maggie with her hands on her hips.

"Maggie, I have ta do this" she told her "It's gotten bad in town, and... I just... I need to know" it almost sounded like a confession.

"At least let me go with you then" Maggie was begging her.

Emma shook her head "No, you can't. Beth needs you right now, and so does Hershel" He could tell that got through to Maggie "'Sides" she continued "I can take care of myself you know, and it's not that far. I will be back before you know it" when Maggie didn't say anything, he knew she had won. He watched as she ran off to the stables, and a few moments later she came out on her horse and took off toward the sun. Daryl threw his cigarette on the ground and walked up to Maggie.

"Want me to follow her?" He asked her looking the way she had gone. Maggie turned to look at him, she was bewildered by his offer.

She shook her head "I couldn't ask you to do that" she told him.

"Well, then it's a good thing ya didn't ask, I offered." He said, finally looking into her eyes. He wanted her to know that he just wanted to make sure she made it back.

"She's gonna be so pissed" Maggie told him, "she's little, but she's got a temper like a raging bull"

"Better pissed, an' alive don't ya think?" He turned toward the stables "ya got a horse that won't throw me?" He asked Maggie chuckled, and started walking to the stables "Come on, you can use mine." She led him into the stables, and up to her horse, it was the same on that she was on when she caught up to them in the woods.

"She's sure footed, and knows the way" Maggie told him, as she worked to get her saddled up. "Just head straight for the sun for about 5 miles or so, you can't miss it." She led them both out of the stables and handed Daryl the reigns. He hopped up into the saddle and got situated. "And Daryl, just remember, whatever she's says, she doesn't mean it, so don't take it personally." She told him.

He snorted, "Makes you think I give a damn wha tha princess thinks of me?" He asked her gruffly, before he took off toward the sun. They still had a few hours before nightfall, and hopefully for once, things would go their way.

Daryl and the horse had settled into a slightly unease pace of just faster than a walk. To be honest though, he was fine with this. He wouldn't exactly call himself an expert horseman, and - he didn't think he could handle the embarrassment of showing up back at the farm with an injury from fallin off another fuckin horse.

He wasn't quite sure why he had volunteered to go on this little mission, he thought it might have something to do with the fact that the last time he knew someone had gone off on her own she had nearly gotten herself, and her unborn child killed. Daryl shook his head, Olive Oil had gone and gotten herself knocked up. Ain't that some shit. That was the last thing any of them needed right now, especially Rick, he already had his hands full with Shane. He had a feeling that the whole fucked up situation was going to come to a head sooner rather than later.

Still though, Daryl was curious. There was just no other word for it. He had caught the end of their conversation, and he wanted to know what was so goddamn important that she would take off right after they had just come barely made it back alive.

It better be damned important.

She was right about one thing though; they were running out of time. The farm was safe, but it wouldn't stay that way. The group was too split, too divided to reach a consensus on anything. Shane constantly at Ricks throat, poppin' off, sayin and doin stupid shit in the heat of the moment. The thing was, he didn't necessarily think what Shane did was wrong. He didn't want to be livin next to those creatures either, so he had enthusiastically participated. Death to walkers! That was the slogan anyway... till Sophia had walked out. For a moment he understood why that crazy ole man had clung to the idea of a cure, beyond all reason and proof. Then Rick had shot her. Whether it was honor or guilt, he couldn't say, but he had been the only one who had stepped up to do it. Daryl had seen it in his eyes though, it had cost him something.

Maybe that was when he realized he trusted Rick. He was the one willing to do what it took, to protect the group - not just himself - no matter what it cost him.

He didn't know if Heaven or Hell was real, and honestly, he hadn't given it much thought. He did believe in the soul though - good ones, and bad ones. Rick had a good one. Most of the people in the group were good people, he was slowly comin around to the fact that some of them might care about him. Maybe.

Carol had called him a good man the night before, and he had scoffed at her. He didn't think he could be a good person, and it had pissed him off. What did she know? He hadn't exactly led an upstanding life before all this. He definitely didn't fall into the same category of people like Rick and Dale. Daryl should have been the one to pull the trigger, he had less to lose than Rick, and basically everyone else at camp.

Except Shane.

He hadn't believed the story he had told them about Otis for a second - and his behavior since then certainly hadn't helped his case. He hadn't brought this up to anyone but Dale, and that's only because he had brought it up first. He figured if his dumbass could see how stupid that story was, then surely the others did as well. They just didn't want to admit it.

Except... Dale had seemed completely shocked by Daryl's evidence for the claim, so maybe the others didn't see it. Which made them stupider than he thought.

"Man, fuck this" He said out loud to no one. All of this was startin to give him a headache.

Daryl figured he was probably gettin close by now. He started lookin around, and much to his chagrin he realized that he had been lost in his thoughts, that he hadn't been payin attention to what was around him... which he realized was nothin. It was just an open field with the woods to his left. His horse seemed to get a little antsy, she had started to pick up the pace now, not content with the prior one. Daryl squeezed his thighs to the saddle and held on.

Finally, the outline of a small house started to come into view, and he could see her horse standing out front by the porch. Part of him was hoping that he would be able to make a quiet entrance, or just hide behind the house. That way she wouldn't even know he was there, unless she got into trouble.

Whatever plan he had been trying to put in place though, was for nothing. As soon as he got within 100 yards of the house, her horse started stomping around and making as much noise as possible. So much so that Emma had come charging outside, her bow raised, looking for what was making her horse so distraught. When she saw him though, she didn't lower her bow. She stepped off the porch and put some distance between the house and her - keeping Daryl in her sights the whole time.

"Ya gonna shoot me or not?" He called out to her when he was close enough so that he wasn't yelling.

"Haven't decided yet." She told him "Did Maggie send ya?" She asked.

He was close enough now, that he dismounted from the horse and walked up to her. "Nope, now would you put tha' thing away before ya hurt someone." He said, walking passed her, headed for the... now that he was close enough, he didn't really know if you could even call it a house. It was more like a shack. A rickety, wooden shack, with a small porch off the front door. Daryl thought it looked like one good wind gust would blow it over. The two small windows in the front had been boarded up, so Daryl assumed that someone had been living here, for at least a little while.

Emma huffed, and finally put her bow down, and arrow back in her quiver. "Then what the hell are ya doin' here?" She asked him angrily. She ran to stand on top of the porch steps in front of Daryl, blocking his entrance into the house.

"Calm down princess" He said walking up the steps, looking over her into the house "I'm just here to make sure ya don't do nothin stupid. Like gettin yourself bit." He had stepped up into her space, tryin to get her to budge out of the way, but she held her ground. Keeping eye contact with him even though she had to strain her neck to look up at him.

"Well, as you can see," she said raising her arms out "not bit. So, looks like you can just go on back to where you came from" she said pointing off in the way of Maggie's house, with an air of finality.

"Tha hell is this place anyway?" He asked, ignoring her prior statement.

"None of your business" she said through gritted teeth.

"I mean, it ain't like you thought this place could have somethin' useful" He had backed up and was looking around the sides of the house. "This guy some kinda doomsday person, with one of those underground bunkers?" He asked. He had heard of those people - he figured they were sittin pretty right about now. Emma just sighed and rubbed her face in her hands.

"Look princess, we can either sit here playin 20 questions all day, or we just do what it is we came here to do." He wasn't givin' her much of choice now. They needed to get a move on.

"Wow" she breathed. "First of all, WE didn't do nothin', you decided to follow me... unnecessarily" she hissed at him. "And second, I have a fuckin name ya know. It's Emma. Or just Em. That might be easier for ya'... its only one letter" she snapped back at him callously.

Daryl whipped his head around to look at her. She held her ground again, whatever was in that house, she really didn't want him to know about it. Which, of course only made him want to know what it was even more. He decided to switch tactics.

"Rick said no one goes out alone anymore, an' that goes for you to, cause Hershel agreed with him" Or at least, he was probably going ta say that soon "so, Emma" he said looking her in the eyes - he noticed they were a deep chocolate brown "I ain't leavin' without cha" and that was his final answer.

Emma made a strangled sound, before she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose while she breathed out slowly.

"Fine" she agreed. She opened her eyes and gave him a mocking curtsey "Welcome to my castle Daryl" she said sarcasm dripping off the word as she opened the door and stepped aside. "Make yourself at home"

Daryl hadn't known what to expect, but it probably would have been better than this. He stepped over the threshold and into the small... shack. It was filthy even by Daryl's standards, and it smelled like death. Over to the right was a small kitchen that was covered in trash, rotten food, broken dishes, and empty liquor bottles. To the left of the door was a couch against the wall that had turned a color that was somewhere between vomit, and horse shit. Across from it, sitting on a table made from something white trash was a very old TV. Across from the front door was what looked like a small bathroom. There was one other door by the couch, it was closed but Daryl noticed something that looked an awful lot like blood in the doorway.

"This is ya house?" Daryl didn't believe it at first. When she told them that she had been in College he had expected money - something the person who lived here had none of.

"Was. This was my house. Haven't set foot in here since I turned 16." She was looking around the place with a look of such hatred, it almost made him flinch. So why come back? He wondered.

She stepped over to the sofa and took the bottom cushion closest to the door and flipped it over. Daryl barely had time to notice there was a small seam in the cushion, before she had taken the tip of an arrow and used it to slice the cushion open, she reached in and he saw that she pulled something out, and sat down on the couch, looking at the items in her hand.

"What're those?" He asked her. She turned her hands so he could see them. In one hand she had an old photograph, it was an older woman with red hair, and a small girl on the back of a horse. In the other hand was a belt buckle, it looked like it had probably been nice when it was new, but Daryl could see that it was tarnished and dirty, and a-lot of the stones were missing.

"These are the reason WE came" she told him in a voice that said he still wasn't exactly welcome here, never taking her eyes off the picture. Daryl was about to tell her a picture and a belt buckle weren't exactly the things you risked your life for these days, but she spoke up "it's the only picture I have of her" she finally looked at him, almost daring him to tell her that wasn't a good reason. Daryl bit his tongue.

"Yer ma'?" He asked instead

"Yup" She sighed and grabbed her bag and tucked the picture into the small wallet she had and tossed the belt buckle in the bag with her wallet.

"She get bit?" He asked her awkwardly, judging by the way she had looked at the photo, he got the feeling she was dead.

"Nope." She told him. She sat back down on the couch, with her hands resting on her hands, and watched the closed door.

"'K, so can we go now?" He asked her, he didn't like bein' in this house. It was starting to remind him of his old place.

"Nope" She replied, never taking her eyes off the door. Daryl was starting to get pissed now, her refusal to even try and cooperate was really taking a toll on his patience.

"Ya ever gonna say more than two fuckin words? Tha' hell are we still doin' here anyway? Ain't nothing we can use, ya got yer stupid picture an' buckle. Let's go!" He had raised his voice slightly, and she had whipped her head around to look at him. He could see the fire in her eyes, and he knew his comment had gotten to her.

"Ok, listen up Opie" she had stood up, and stepped towards him "I'm gonna try and use the little words so that you can understand this." Her voice was laced with venom "I didn't ask you to come, in fact I told you it was none of your fuckin' business and to leave. So no, I'm not gonna say more than two fuckin' words. And no, I'm not leavin' yet. You, however, are more than welcome to walk your happy ass home, don't let your horse throw you this time." Her voice had turned cold, and her eyes even colder. He opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off.

"If you are going to insist on staying, then you can sit down and shut the fuck up. Because the next time you open your mouth, I am going to shoot you in the leg" She was right in front of his face now "Is that clear?" She asked through gritted teeth.

He actually believed she might shoot him. He didn't know her well enough to know if she was lyin' or not, but he decided not to press his luck. He grunted and stepped around her to sit in the spot she had vacated on the couch. He looked at her, and saw that she had closed her eyes, and was breathing slowly, he also noticed she was pinching her nose again. She seemed to do that a lot.

There was a sudden noise from behind the closed door. Daryl had stood immediately and readied his crossbow. He looked back at Emma and saw that she was looking at the door with wide eyes.

"Ya didn't clear the fuckin' house?" He hissed at her. He thought she was supposed to be smart. Daryl could hear the telltale noise that they made, and he knew that it could hear and smell them. He started to the door to take it out, but he had only made it two steps before she called out to him.

"Wait" He turned and looked at her, she shook her head at him. She had grabbed a pan from the kitchen and walked toward him. She had determined look in her eyes, and she had squared herself up. "I told ya' I had somethin' else to take care of. I got it." He looked at her for a second and nodded his head at her. He moved so that he could open the door but was out of her way. He waited for her signal.

She nodded at him, and he opened the door. The smell of death came wafting out first, she stood at the doorway and Daryl could see the walker was in the corner of the room facing the wall. He wasn't decayed like the others he had seen, from the looks of it - it was a fresh one. Daryl realized that's what she had been waiting for - she had wanted this person to reanimate so that she could kill it. He didn't know how that made him feel.

The walker had been a man probably not much bigger than Glenn. Daryl was surprised by that, he had half expected the person to be a fat drunk. He kept waiting for her to move, it would have been easy to take it out right now because it wasn't all riled up, but she just stood at the door. The walker had turned its head up, and Daryl could swear it was sniffing the air. It turned, and tilted its head to the side, like a child or dog does when it's curious, and for a second Daryl thought he saw something like recognition in its eyes when it looked at her. As quickly as it had come though it disappeared when it snapped its jaws, and then it moved.

At first Daryl didn't know if she was going to defend herself, just when he was getting ready to pull her out of the way, she took a step inside, and swung the pan like it was a baseball bat. The pan connected with its head with a sickening crunch, and it fell to the ground, but it wasn't dead yet. Emma had dropped the pan and walked up to the walker slowly. She was bein' careful not to let her feet get too close. She looked at it, and tilted her head so the side, like it had done to her. Then, in a move quicker than he had expected she let out a guttural scream and brought the heel of her boot down on its head. Daryl flinched.

He could hear the bones breaking, and saw the blood and brains shoot up on to her skin and clothes, but she didn't stop. She kept stomping away at the head, she was making a sound somewhere between screaming and crying. Daryl was shocked. This was hate, and rage. Maggie had told him she had a temper "like a raging bull", and he had seen some of that, but he had thought that she might have been exaggerating. Seein this though, had changed his mind. He realized it reminded him of when Carol had taken an axe to her dead husband.

The noises had stopped, and Daryl saw that Emma was just standing there looking down at the corpse. Her breathing was labored and ragged, and he thought he heard a sniffle, but he couldn't be sure. Daryl was uncomfortable now; he was never very good with emotions, especially when it came to women. He glanced around the room and saw the bodies of 3 other walkers. Looks like the poor bastard had been caught unawares. Deciding this was probably a good time to give her some privacy he quietly snuck out of the room, and out onto the front porch.

He wondered how long she was gonna be, the sun had started its decent and he really didn't want to have to stay the night here. He could hear her moving around inside the house, and within a few minutes she had come back outside with her bag and bow. He glanced over at her, he really didn't want to spend the whole ride back with her crying. Her face was blank though, he thanked the universe for small miracles. From the looks of it, she had tried to clean some of the blood and brains off her, but with no water there was only so much she could get off, and her arms were tinged with blood.

"Now we can go" she said without looking at him, and stepped off the porch, before she had gotten more than 3 steps though she suddenly doubled over and threw up. Daryl groaned internally, he had never liked the sounds and smells of vomit - it was the only thing that made him queasy. Dead, rotting, rotten corpses walkin around? Piece of cake. Vomit? He'd pass.

When she had finished coughing and retching, he begrudgingly took a step closer to her, and cleared his throat to get her attention, and then passed her his canteen. She looked at him warily before slowly taking it and rinsing her mouth out. She passed it back to him with a small "Thank you"

They mounted their horses, and without looking back they took off back to the farm.

A/N: So here's chapter 3… I am not entirely sure how I feel about it. I feel like Daryl went through a lot in the second half of season 2, so I kinda wanted to try and capture what that thought process might have looked like. Next chapter will be back to Emma to find out what the hell was going on.