As he walked up to the house, Alex felt his nerves starting to rise up again. He wasn't sure what exactly he was doing here or what to expect, he wasn't sure why he hadn't just told Jo or Mer or anyone where he was or what he was really doing. Something inside of him just told him to keep this to himself for right now and so he did.
He hopped on a plane and took a very long and expensive cab ride out here to what felt like the middle of nowhere. And now here he was.
Even as he looked around the farm, he could feel Izzie everywhere. And that scared him, just like it had scared him the moment he heard her voice on the other side of the phone when he called her about the situation with Meredith, how it shook him to the bones the more they talked that day, the following, how he couldn't think of anything else since.
He could hear the sounds of silly laughter and a thud from inside the house, almost like a kid had stomped real loud or maybe jumped off a couch to the floor, and he felt a smile tug at the side of his lips. He couldn't wait to see the faces that went with those giggles. Izzie had offered to send him photos but he wanted to wait, he wanted to see them live and in person for the first time.
The door wound up opening before he even got a chance to knock or ring the bell, and there Izzie stood, that smile that haunted him for years on her face as their eyes met. He swallowed hard and the action hurt. "Alex," she greeted, her voice soft, cheerful. All Izzie Stevens. "You made it."
He knew he was staring but it couldn't be helped. He hadn't seen his ex-wife, his first love, his first real heartbreak in roughly a decade's time. He hadn't even known if she were alive, if she was okay out there somewhere in the world, he had wondered and worried about her ever since they went their separate ways... and now... now here she was, alive and well, right in front of him. She was older now and you could see the slight features that showed the years past on her face but to him it only made her look more beautiful. Her eyes were still big, they twinkled, her smile was like sunshine as it always had been.
Two little bodies were soon at either side of her and he felt like he might explode.
"Come in, come in," Izzie urged while little hands grabbed for him, pulling him inside.
"You can put your bag here," the little boy, Eli, told him. He tried carrying it but Mom came to the rescue. He barely saw it being placed beside the couch before he was being pulled again, Eli and Alexis wanting to show him around their house.
He let out a deep breath as he tried to follow along with what they were saying, as he looked around the beautiful home, how it smelled like muffins just as he always imagined it would, as he stared at these two beautiful faces and thought how much they looked like him and Izzie, how perfect they were, how he was already so freaking in love with them.
The kids showed him their bedroom and their small playroom first, he saw their toys, their drawings, paintings. They talked about their hobbies, about school. He saw photos of himself, a few of him and Izzie up on the walls along with so many of them as they were younger. They asked him about his favorite song, dinosaur, asked him about his family.
They asked him if they could call him Dad minutes into even knowing him. They talked to him like they weren't just meeting him for the first time, but as though they'd always known him, that he wasn't meeting them but as if he had been at work or on a business trip and had come home and were just happy to see him. The kids showed him around the rest of the house and they wound up all together back in their bedroom to play.
Hours passed like it was nothing. He played games with his kids, he listened as they each read him a short story, they drew pictures and made homemade slime, they just laughed, talked and played.
They cleaned up for dinner, made him a place at the table and just told him this was where he was to sit. Izzie just shrugged and smiled and told him he was welcome to stay when they were out of earshot for a moment. He stood by the chair with his mind reeling from everything that was happening, how easy this felt, how much like home this felt like.
He swallowed the urge to go up behind her, to wrap his arms around her while she finished up and kiss her neck. Barely. His mind thought about how badly he wanted to, it also thought about how he needed to do dishes since she cooked, and how he wanted this... he wanted homemade meals like this, he wanted to learn to be better in the kitchen, he wanted to take turns with this woman nightly so she wasn't having everything on her plate, on her shoulders. He wanted... absolutely all of this.
He looked around the house, a little more able to focus while the kids were in another room still, and smiled. This place was one hundred perfect Izzie Stevens. The furniture, the art on the walls, the pillows, everything screamed her. The random Christmas decorations... it was just as he hoped for her in so, so many ways.
He pointed to a tree in the corner and asked if she really decorated it for each of the holidays and got a "of course" in response. It made him smile. It made his heart hurt.
They ate dinner together... as a family. The kids helped him clean up the table and he did the dishes while Iz helped them do a few chores. They all watched a short episode of what they said was their favorite show, they danced and sang, they made up games for them all to play.
Bedtime came, late as Izzie let them stay up a little longer than normal due to his presence but eventually they had to all wind down. She ran a bath for Alexis and he was given the task, if he wanted, to grab the kids some pajamas. Alexis came over to whisper which ones were her favorite before she ran off to the bathroom. While he waited for his turn in the tub, Eli came with him and helped guide.
Alex's hands ran over the pajamas and finally he landed on some comic book hero ones. He held them up and Eli smiled, his smile, and laid them on his bed for when he was done with his own bath. The little boy began to tell him about the stuffed animals on his bed and how they kept him safe and sound while he slept. Alex told his son about some of his favorite people back in Seattle when asked and he felt his heart swell again as Eli told him he couldn't wait to meet them all someday. He found the nightgown Alexis had whispered and smiled, laying it out on her bed much like her brother's.
After the kids were both bathed, dressed in their pajamas, and laying in bed he and Izzie each got in a bed. He read them each two stories, switching spots with their mother at each new book.
Goodnights were said, kisses and hugs given, I love yous exchanged. He tucked each of them in a little more, wiped a hand over their soft hair, and watched them cuddle more down in their beds, closing their eyes with little smiles still on their faces.
Leaving their door opened just a crack, he followed Izzie back out the hallway and to the living room. He handed him some photo albums once he sat down and breathed out how perfect they were.
"I tried scrapbooking but really they all just wind up as endless photo albums with the stickers," she told him with a laugh. She sat beside him and began going through the first several years of their lives, how much he had missed.
Izzie got quiet after awhile and she began to apologize for not telling him about them soon, promising she always meant to but it never seemed right. He wanted to be angry at her, he wanted to be sad about all of it, but he barely felt any of that... he was just happy. He was grateful they existed, that they were here, that they had this beautiful life.
"I am so glad you had them, Iz. I will be honest I never really gave that much thought to any of this, but as soon as you told me that they were real, that they existed, that we actually had children it was like my whole world shifted. I can't get over how perfect they are."
She smiled again and he couldn't seem to help it, leaning over, his hand cupping the side of her face and softly kissing her. "I know I shouldn't have done that," he breathed. "But thank you."
Izzie's eyes danced back and forth for a moment, then she kissed him this time. It didn't mirror his, a light brushing of lips against one another, no... she kissed him like she'd been missing him for years. And he suddenly gave back as good as she until they were both breathless.
"We shouldn't be doing this," she whispered, standing up and her head shaking slightly.
Some part of him had that thought floating around. There was Jo. There was their history. There was not knowing what was really happening right now. But more than that, he felt like this was exactly what he should be doing, that this was where he needed to be.
Standing, he grabbed her and pulled her back to him.
"I'm sorry, Alex."
"I know."
"I missed you," she breathed.
Lifting her up, he carried her off to her bedroom. "I don't want to miss you anymore. I don't want to miss out on any more of you, or them or us."
"Then stay," she breathed. "Stay forever, Alex."
THE END.