The ending is here and our boys are okay! I really liked this story. Having the two of them just talk was a lot more fun to write than I thought it would be. I hope you all enjoyed it as well! Tell me what you think!

I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Don't have just yet, but keep a look out as they'll pop up eventually.

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Feeling more nervous than he needed Callen wrapped his arms around his husband pulling him into a tight hug. He couldn't help the rush of happiness he felt as Deeks relaxed into the hold his own arms coming up to wrap around the older mans waist as his head rested on his chest.

Letting his eyes slip shut he rested his head on the mess of curly blond hair and took a deep breath. The smell of coffee and sea salt and something he could only describe as warmth filled him as his arms tightened around the mans body.

It felt as if it had been years since either of them had felt so calm and at ease with each other. Something that was hard to think about. When they first got together he had had to get used to dating someone that was much more touchy than he was.

Deeks was good at keeping it out of the workplace and he need pushed to far when it was obvious that Callen was uncomfortable, but he liked to constantly be touching. It had quickly become something that he sought after himself.

He couldn't figure out exactly when they got to the point of ignoring that. There were just some things that he doubted he would ever be able to figure out when it came to them. As time went on it seemed as if they had simply lost parts of their relationship somewhere along the way.

He wasn't completely sure that it mattered either. Did they really need to know when everything started to go down hill as long as they figured out why it happened? The when couldn't really be all that important in the long run.

Mostly because he doubted that they'd ever really be able to figure it out. It would be easy to say that it all started when Deeks lost his hearing, but was the right? It could just as easily be something that neither of them were thinking about.

For longer than he liked to admit there had been something hanging over them. It had wrapped around their necks pulling them down until they had felt like they could barely move. Barely breathe. Unnoticed until they were almost on the floor.

If he was honest a small part of him had started to hate all of it. Well, not all of it. He doubted that there would be anything that ever made him hate either his husband or his kids. He loved the three of them too much. They were a part of his heart and the thought of ever losing them was like losing a part of himself.

No, what he hated was deeper than that. It was like the place he had worked so hard to make safe for his family was being corrupted from the inside out. Almost as if he was the one that was hurting them the most.

Maybe that was part of the problem. All of them had gotten so used to having that always around them, hanging over their heads, that they were barely noticing it at all anymore. It was just a normal part of their lives.

It was also something that shaped a lot of their interactions. Both with each other and with Isabelle and Wesley. He couldn't even pinpoint a singular event, but he knew for a fact that things were going to be different after this.

What he wasn't sure about was whether or not that would be a good or bad thing. Would the change be worth it? Would they even notice that things were being done differently? Or would their lives go on as normal until they weren't anymore?

Callen could remember how the two of them used to be before Deeks lost his hearing. He could easily say that they had both changed a lot. Thinking back on it though he could see how that change started when they were talking about having kids.

It was subtle and he couldn't say for sure what had exactly had changed, but there was one. It was almost as if they calmed down. Almost like they were trying to be what their child needed even before they had a child.

The more he thought about it though the more he wondered if they would have always ended up where they were. Even without Deeks losing his hearing one of them would have had to stop working in the field. If he was honest it still probably would have been the younger man and not him.

While their careers had always been important to the both of them Callen knew that it was a little different for him. The only thing that he had ever really known and cared about had been working as an undercover agent. That was pretty much his entire life. As much as he hated to admit it he knew that outside of that he didn't have anything. His life was his job.

Deeks wasn't like him. Yes, he loved it and he was damn good, but he had other things to do when he wasn't at work. He had other skills. He could have done anything that he wanted to do and he would have been just as good and just as happy.

Without his job Callen had always thought that he was pretty worthless. It wasn't as if there was really anything else he could have done with the set of skills he had. He was either a cop or he was a criminal. There was no in-between.

At least that had been his thought process for a long time. Even after he and Deeks got together and started a family he thought that all of his worth was tied up in being an agent. There was nothing else for him.

It wasn't until it was thrown in his face how little he was contributing to his family that he actually stopped and realized how wrong he was. It had been a truly eye opening experience that made it clear that he hadn't been close to being the man that he needed to be for his husband and children.

Blinking a few times Callen slowly pulled away from the hold and took a good look at his husband. He looked so much younger than he had a moment ago. The tightness around his eyes was gone. His smile wide and warm. The ocean blue eyes so much lighter. It was a good look on him.

"Deeks," Callen signed knowing he was going to ruin that and hating himself, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Deeks replied giving him a confused look.

"For not being what you and the kids needed."

"G-"

"No, please, let me… I need to say this."

Deeks started at him for a moment looking as if he was going to try to argue. Then a soft sigh fell from his lips as he practically deflated his hand coming up to give him a slight wave. Seeing how down he looked a part of Callen wanted nothing more than to say never mind, but he couldn't.

For the first time since the conversation started Callen found himself wanting to talk. Well, not actually wanting to talk. He wanted to get everything out in the open though. Which was exactly what he was going to do. One way or another.

"For our entire relationship you have always been there for me," Callen finally started giving him a sad smile, "You gave me everything that I needed and things I hadn't imagined needing. You never wavered or questioned our relationship. You were my rock when I was terrified that everything was falling down around me. You did everything you could to give me the things I hadn't thought I deserved. And… I didn't do that for you. I-"

He had barely finished his sentence before Deeks was lifting his hands as if he was going to argue. With a slight shake of his head Callen stopped talking and reached out taking a hold of his hands. Lifting them up he placed a kiss to the mans knuckles before placing them down at his side.

"I wasn't there for you, Sunshine," Callen repeated once more, "You needed me. Isabelle needed me. Wesley needed me. I failed. I didn't realize everything that I had until I almost lost you."

Looking down Callen shook his head a broken laugh falling from his lips. He couldn't believe just how close he came to losing everything without even realizing it. Hell, he had been halfway around the world at the time.

When he got the phone call from Wesley his entire world had stopped. He still remembered how broken his little boy sounded as he begged for his Papa to come home and help save his Daddy. A part of him still hated himself for ever putting his boy in that position.

For a moment he stood there trying to think of what he wanted to say. There were so many things that he felt as if he needed to apologize for. So many things he needed to know Deeks didn't hold against him anymore.

Before any of them could be verbalized though a finger rested on his chin lifting it up so he was eye to eye with his husband once more. A soft smile was on Deeks lips as he leaned forward pressing their foreheads together his eyes fluttering closed.

A shaky breath slipped from Callen as he let himself relax against the younger man. In that moment it felt as if Deeks was practically holding him up. It was always a surprise how strong Deeks was. It didn't matter the situation he always seemed so unshakable.

One would think that after so many years of being together that Callen would always have that in the back of his head, but that wasn't right. It didn't matter how strong the man was he still wanted to protect the man he loved. Still, he would never not be impressed by the man.

Darting forward Deeks pressed a quick kiss to his lips before taking a step back. With a shake of his head Callen straightened up and looked at the younger man. A serious look stared back at him making him wonder just when he perfected the completely done look.

"Are you ready to hear the truth, Callen?" Deeks signed calmly.

"Sure," Callen replied trying not to show how amused he was.

"Good. The truth is I wouldn't have wanted you there if you tried. Hell, I would have hated it. Hated you."

Callen found himself freezing at that. It wasn't the first time that the man had told him that, but it still hurt. He hated feeling as if he couldn't be there for the people he cared about. Even if they hadn't needed him there.

He knew that he wasn't the best at relationships. For the most part he had no idea what was supposed to happen. There was one thing that he understood even when he felt like he was messing up. You had to be there.

"What?" Callen signed after his mind came back to him.

"You know that I had to prove that I could still do things," Deeks responded looking so put together in that moment, "We've had this part of the conversation already."

"You're right. I know you're right. We have had this conversation before and… If I was there for you more-"

"If you were there more I'm afraid we wouldn't have been able to survive at all. We both messed up, G. There's no doubt about that. And I don't like where we've ended up, but it could have been a lot worse."

"Does that mean you think we can be saved?"

A wide grin bloomed on the younger mans lips as he grabbed the back of Callen's head and pulled him in close. Griping the mans hips he held on tightly as he moved to brush their lips against each other. A hum left Deeks as he stepped closer his arms wrapping around his shoulders so they were pressed together.

"We already are," Deeks muttered against his lips before deepening the kiss.