A/N: Sorry in advance for all of the angst in this chapter. I promise things will start clearing up soon!

The Doctor did eventually make it back to Rose - against all odds and reason, just as he always did. However, he still had to send her away as soon as they had completed their warm reunion and returned to the TARDIS without Madame de Pompadour. He didn't want to have to send Rose off with Mickey (in fact, he never wanted to let her out of his sight or reach ever again), but he Doctor knew that he needed to read Reinette's letter in private.

And he was glad that he did, because the woman's relentless hope in him shattered his hearts and made him want to simultaneously throw the letter into the heart of a black hole where it would never be able to see the light of day again, and also carve the words into his soul so that he would never be able to forget what a horrible, disgusting disappointment he was to everyone who was ever foolish enough to rely on him.

He wanted nothing more than to collapse onto his bed (something that he hadn't done in far too long) and spend a few hours sulking in his own self-hatred, but his meddling time ship had better ideas, and he found himself instead stumbling into the library, where Rose was seated on the couch as though she had been waiting for him.

She still startled when he entered, though - her eyes going wide as she took in his broken, desperate expression. "Doctor ...?" she asked slowly.

He didn't make any sort of reply - he didn't have any words that weren't dripping in six layers of regret and self-loathing and he wasn't about to add all of that to the weight that he had already put on Rose's shoulders.

Instead, he simply came around the edge of the couch that she was occupying and sat down heavily next to her. The Doctor stared hard at his shoes, refusing to meet Rose's eyes, but he noticed immediately the way that she shifted slightly away from him and it made him want to scream in frustration, hurt, and rage.

"Do ... do you want me to get you something?" Rose asked hesitantly, breaking the awkward silence between them. "Do you want a cuppa? Or maybe something to eat?" She was already getting up before he responded, ready to dodge outside of his reach once more, but the Doctor instantly knew that he couldn't let her leave. He needed her now more than ever - even the TARDIS knew it.

He grasped her by the wrist without thinking and sighed heavily as he hung his head in a dejected sign of defeat. He still didn't have any words for her - none that he could speak out loud, anyway - so he spoke directly into her mind instead.

You, Rose, he stated simply. I just need you. Please stay.

That's a change. Her response came quickly, without thought, and the bitterness of it nearly broke his hearts all over again. He glanced up to see Rose's eyes grow with panic as she realized that she had accidentally let the thought slip through to him.

The Doctor screwed his eyebrows up at her in confusion as she quickly shuttered the rest of her mind away from him and left him feeling somehow even more lost and abandoned than he already was. "Sorry, I ... I didn't mean it," she stuttered awkwardly. "It just slipped out. Please, Doctor, just ignore that."

"You don't ... you don't actually believe that, do you?" the Doctor asked quietly, running his thumb over the delicate bones in her wrist. "Rose ..."

"No, really, it's fine, Doctor," she insisted dismissively. "It's just ... it's been a long day. A lot has happened, and I don't want to get in your way."

Rose, please, he begged silently once more, bringing her hand close and pressing her knuckles to the skin of his forehead. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and let out a shaky, uneven breath as he quietly willed her to let him back in - to fix this mistake, to feel whole again. Please stay.

Rose hesitated, and he didn't have to know her thoughts to feel the tension running through every single muscle of her body as she stared down at him in consideration.

"Promise you won't run away this time," she finally said, her voice a quiet, desperate command.

When the Doctor didn't immediately respond, she sighed and gently slid her hand out of his grasp. "Let me make you some tea," she muttered resignedly. "I'll be right back."

And the Doctor quietly marveled over how even now when he stubbornly refused to give her any kind of promise or reassurance after the absolute hell that he had just put her through, she was still putting himself before her - still trying to take care of him, still loving him as though it was a helpless, thoughtless action. The very thought nearly stopped his hearts and he knew that he couldn't let it end like this - not again.

"Rose, wait," the Doctor insisted, standing to his feet and stepping in front of her so that he stood between her and the library door. "Listen, I ... I'm sorry. For everything, all of it. I've made a right mess of things and I know I don't deserve it - don't deserve you - but please, let me explain ..."

"What is it, Doctor?" Rose sighed wearily, not meeting his eyes as she glanced everywhere except at him.

"I'm ... a coward, Rose," he explained awkwardly. "The biggest coward who ever lived. I've been running all my life from everything, everyone - it's all I've ever known. I even ran from you, because ..."

The Doctor paused and raised his hands, but stepped himself just before he allowed his fingers to touch her because he already knew how badly he had messed up and he wasn't about to go assuming that she wanted anything to do with him unless she specifically stated otherwise. But when Rose finally met his gaze and didn't flinch away, he took that as permission enough and gently allowed his fingers to ghost over her temples.

His eyes shut on instinct and he breathed a quiet sigh of relief as he sank into her comforting presence - it was so, so different from what had happened not long ago with Reinette and the Doctor silently allowed himself a moment to simply bask in her warmth and allow himself to regain his courage.

Can you feel it? he asked her silently as their thoughts slowly aligned and became one.

Rose offered him a silent, wordless assent as she marveled at the way that their connection quickly fell into place and the tiny bond between them flared.

This is why I ran away, the Doctor explained. This isn't just telepathy, Rose. This is the beginning of a bond - a permanent thing that links two people's minds forever. I didn't even think that it was possible - in fact, it shouldn't be possible - for a human to do this. I was scared. I didn't want to risk having it go any further. At least ... The Doctor's thoughts suddenly scattered and trailed off in a million different directions, silently hinting at all of the things that even now he couldn't quite force himself to say.

But Rose seemed to understand anyway, just as she always did, and wasn't offended by his refusal to create a mental bond with her. She seemed to instinctually recognize that his "at least ..." was meant to end in "not until you agree".

She sighed softly, her breath ghosting against the Doctor's lips and igniting the flame of desire that he had held for her for far longer than he cared to admit. This close in each other's minds, there was no way of hiding it, and her breath hitched on a gasp as the Doctor leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers.

I can't promise you much, he admitted silently as he trailed his thumbs over the soft skin of her cheeks, but now you know the truth

Thank you, Doctor, Rose replied, her answering flare of love and desire nearly overwhelming him. The truth is enough.

Neither of them bothered to acknowledge the unspoken "for now" that they both knew hung on the end of that thought. After all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, they were content to simply live in the current moment, taking comfort in one another, and saving the rest for another day.