Scandalous Seconds by Rita Skeeter
Well, well, well, dear readers, I don't even know where to begin this time! Yes, I, the Rita Skeeter, your humble and devoted reporter and truth-teller, am at a loss for words! Yours truly had a front row seat (not that they provided seats; see Inadequate Provisions for the Media, page 5) to the shocking, scandalous Second Task of the Triwizard Tournament. And trust me when I say that I am not exaggerating any of the scandals that arose at this morning's event.
Now, let me set the scene. The lake was glistening like a well-polished diamond on a young girl's finger, yet something sinister lay in its tranquillity; indeed, it looked rather akin to a physical embodiment of that good old metaphorical calm before the storm. Students and members of the public alike flocked to the water's edge, waiting to find out what exciting spectacle would be in store for them next. Chatter arose as possibilities were ventured and discussed; there didn't seem to be much that could top a dragon, but all and sundry were certain that the diligent, visionary organisers from the Departments of International Magical Cooperation and of Magical Games and Sports would find a way to push the box and the four - in one case very - young champions even further.
After all of the champions – including a flustered Harry Potter, who arrived at the last minute in a mimicry of the actions, if not the composure, of his late father – arrived, the noble adventurers dove into the lake.
And there they remained for approximately one hour.
One hour, indeed! We were summarily informed that the task that we had all been so eagerly anticipating called for the champions to overcome numerous natural hurdles to reach and retrieve their designated hostage from the lake's icy depths. Such a tale of heroism and bravery, of adaptability and resilience, was surely one that would be told throughout the ages – had, of course, the audience been able to see anything. It appears as if the highly experienced and acclaimed organisation committee members – consisting of, to name a few, Oberon Williams and Thomas Puck (see A Midsummer's Nightmare, page 12) – had been so caught up in organising a unique and complex challenge and constructing the myriad obstacles for them to face that they harmlessly forgot to factor in the incidental goal of entertaining the audience.
Or so I am sure I would have been told had a member of the committee had actually agreed to give an interview. The way that the cry of, 'No comment!' is respected in this lovely little journalistic world of mine never ceases to amaze me, but I am afraid that it is not always as opaque as people believe. After all, there are sometimes only one or two reasons to refuse giving at least a brief comment...
So, what did yours truly do when faced with the arduous task of standing around for an hour while waiting for eight children to surface? Filled with the drive not to let any of my loyal readers down, I decided to do some investigating; there had to, I figured, be some interesting story hidden among the not-so-captive audience, and all I had to do was find it. And, boy, did I find some.
Scandal the first: the line-up of hostages.
Following the time-honoured Triwizard tradition of pairing up champions with their beloveds but without the prevalence of early betrothals to do the work for them, the judging panel obviously decided to base their decision on who the champions' dates to the Yule Ball had been. It was hardly a surprise, therefore, to discover that the well-prepared Cedric Diggory's hostage was none other than Cho Chang. Some may have found it equally unsurprising that international Quidditch star Viktor Krum's hostage was to be Hermione Granger, but I – and, I expect, you, my readers – think differently. She apparently still has the Bulgarian firmly in her grasp, and it appears as if she's not letting go, despite, no doubt, making fangirls and the critical thinking among us worldwide question exactly what he sees in her. While I could ruminate upon this strange happening for hours, it is not that pairing that most gave me pause.
No; the real scandals of this task were that neither Fleur Delacour nor Harry Potter were paired with their Yule Ball dates. One anonymous Beauxbatons student casually mentioned how she had spotted Fleur Delacour and date Roger Davis getting a little too friendly on the night. While Miss Delacour later contended that there had been foul forces at play, our source believed that Davis had, in that time-old bait-and-switch routine, accompanied her to the ball due to her Veela allure but, after enjoying the rush of clandestinely being with her afterwards, determined that he had got what he wanted and was done with her. While my sympathies go out to Miss Delacour if this is indeed the case, perhaps she should reconsider attempting to ensnare gullible humans in the future. As her hostage is her younger sister, also a part-Veela, she may be heading in the right direction.
Parvati Patil, Harry Potter's lovely date to the ball, refused to comment on her experiences that night, but another inside source revealed that neither she nor Mr Potter appeared to be enjoying themselves. After completing the opening dance with the warmth and camaraderie of a pair of ice cubes, they retired from the dance floor and sat in silence alongside Ronald Weasley and his date, Miss Patil's twin sister, until the girls' attentions were secured by two unnamed older gentlemen, whom they cheerfully danced the rest of the evening away with while their erstwhile dates sat in quiet companionship. Understandably, Miss Patil was not the Hogwarts champion's hostage; instead, it was Mr Weasley who took that honour and braved the lake's depths for his friend.
Or, rather, his friend. In an interview while we were awaiting the return of the champions, Gryffindor darling Lavender Brown assured me most earnestly that, in her opinion, her friend and housemate Harry Potter had been so traumatised by the fleeting passion and duplicity of his beloved ex-girlfriend that he had sworn off of dating altogether. When added to the events of the ball – seeing his ex dance with the boy she had left him for and finding himself unable to find pleasure in his own date's company – and the interesting champion-hostage pairing, one must wonder if the decision had been to forgo girls in particular rather than dating in general. A taboo and ill-considered decision, perhaps, but one that is all too understandable; how many of us have done something foolish for love, or something stupid in an attempt to stave off heartbreak? In my honest opinion, the Boy Who Lived is merely culpable of childish error caused only by the pain dealt upon him by his uncaring ex-girlfriend.
Scandal the second: the return of the champions – and their hostages?
While Miss Delacour seems to be heading in the right direction in terms of whom she's associating with, it might have benefited her to take a compass into the lake with her; she didn't seem to be able to work out which direction is down, instead returning to the surface, empty-handed and shame-faced, after a mere fifteen minutes. It must be crushing and humiliating for her to have taken on the weight of representing girls and part-Veela alike only to have such a poor second showing. One can only hope that she finds her groove in the final task and finishes with, if not a bang, a respectable attempt for the trophy.
The second champion to resurface, fifty-five minutes into the task, was Harry Potter, supposedly determined to prove that heartbreak might knock him down but will never defeat him. It was impossible to tell whether his achievement was as impressive as his unconventional decision to fly to the egg in the last task, but, if his timing was anything to go by, his strategy was certainly effective. Of course, his ode to empowerment might have sounded a little louder had he brought back the correct hostage. Instead of retrieving his young 'friend' Mr Weasley, he emerged with his bushy-haired ex-girlfriend, who was later seen hugging and congratulating him. Was it orchestrated on her part in order to garner even more attention and present herself as even harder to keep once gotten, or was it a last-ditch effort on his part to get her back and break away from his recent unseemly ways? According to frequent interviewee Pansy Parkinson, 'Well, I could see it being either of those. I wouldn't put it past Granger to have started spiking Potter's drinks – or however she does it – again now that the publicity about her relationship with Krum is dying off a bit, but Potter's always had a flair for melodrama and I could definitely see him mistakenly attempting to win her back with a 'big romantic gesture' like this.' Mr Weasley refused to say anything on the topic other than that he was good friends with both Mr Potter and Miss Granger and that he was just glad everybody came out alright. Of course, his words were belied by the fact that he then excused himself to continue walking back to the castle alone. What is your opinion, dear readers? I firmly believe that this was all the part of a plan for one of them to win back the other, but who was the instigator, and were their motives pure?
Cedric Diggory was the next champion to arrive with his hostage, arriving one minute after the time limit had elapsed. His return offered a brief reprieve from the constant string of scandals that had been coming at us all morning as, despite being the least personally notable of the champions, he apparently had no trouble in identifying the correct hostage. He and his girlfriend were quickly subsumed by the usual throng of Hufflepuffs, making it impossible for me to reach them, but the way the two remained together while waiting for the final champion to emerge and results to be announced spoke of a sense of intimacy that few words can describe. While Miss Chang is still in her sixth year of school, Mr Diggory is nearing the end of his final year at Hogwarts; should we be awaiting an announcement from the young couple in the near future? After all, should Mr Diggory prove to be like the proverbial tortoise who, despite everyone ruling him out, escapes his own mediocrity to win the race, the closing ceremony might prove to be an opportune time for a certain question to be asked.
It is rather evident at this stage that the final champion to return was Viktor Krum. All were eager to see how he had adapted to the handicap that had been so needlessly thrust upon him. Despite arriving ten minutes after the time limit had elapsed, he appeared stoic and unbothered as he and his hostage emerged from the lake. One must, of course, question whether those few vital minutes were the result of confusion at the absence of any hostage whom one could reasonably have expected to be there for him to save. Apparently the suspected but unconfirmed theory that the part of Veelas that eventually attracts males starts off as a method of ensnaring protectors might have some truth to it, however, for the Bulgarian Seeker emerged with none other than Gabrielle Delacour. When later asked what it was that drew him to the French girl, he succinctly stated, 'Where I come from, you save little girls first.' A noble thought indeed, and the kind of mindset you would expect in a potential victor. It is inspiring to consider how well he is taking the news of Miss Granger's continued folly and manipulations; while she is bouncing back and forth between champions like a demanding, overactive child, it is the upright but blinded champions who suffer. One can only hope that Miss Granger is done with Mr Krum for good so that he may focus on finding someone who will appreciate his affections rather than making a mockery of them. Perhaps one of my loyal readers is up to the task of consoling him…
Scandal the third: the sacking of the Beauxbatons Headmistress.
Those involved are trying to keep this delectable little piece of gossip quiet, but it is impossible to get secrets passed me. While I was wandering along the jetty in the wake of the task, my feet may have taken me past certain not-to-be-named members of the French delegation in the midst of what appeared to be a very intense conversation. Alas, they were speaking in French. Of course, language barriers have never stopped me before; a simple – and entirely legal – Translation Charm fixed the issue entirely, and I was privy to their rather interesting tête-à-tête. It seems that neither Michel nor Apolline Delacour were informed of their youngest daughter's involvement in the task and, upon realising that she was underwater, started on a warpath. Apparently, Headmistress Olympe Maxime initially evaded their questions, instead insisting that the twelve-year-old Gabrielle Delacour was entertaining a boy, before eventually revealing that she was in fact one of the hostages. The fiery Veela are, as many of you know, naturally adverse to water, so their protests focused on both her age and her heritage. For these reasons, they claimed that the witch was being wilfully negligent and therefore could not be trusted with the care or upbringing of the children of Beauxbatons Academy of Magic. While these are still early days and there are certain details that I have been forbidden to reveal for fear of jeopardising the judicial process, I can, to no great surprise, I am sure, confirm that Olympe Maxime will not be reprising her role as Headmistress of Beauxbatons Academy of Magic next year. I'll be poised at the edge of my seat for when I am able to disclose more, and assure you that I will be the first to inform you of it.
Scandal the fourth: the results.
In the wake of such chaos, people were, naturally, looking to see what the judges would decide. Would the Beauxbatons champion be disqualified for her failure? What about the famous – or, as some would paint him, infamous – Harry Potter? Would the judges decide that his competitors had been penalised by his decision? Would they decide that nothing at all amiss occurred down there? As the consultations went on, the crowd grew more restless. After spending over an hour having a chat with their friends, they didn't relish the thought of spending more time awaiting the announcement.
Fortunately, for I daresay the day might have ended in a revolt otherwise, the decisions were quickly made. It is with great relish that I convey those results to you.
In fourth place, on 27 points, was Miss Fleur Delacour. The judges decided that, despite her early withdrawal from the task, she displayed an excellent use of the Bubble-Head Charm and performed well when her natural handicaps were taken into account. Of course, one must wonder whether the decision was merely an attempt to keep the Delacours' ire away from the organising committee. If her Veela heritage did indeed handicap her, should they not have taken it into account when initially planning the task? If it were not significant enough for them to adjust the task in order to provide an equal playing pitch, was it really significant enough to impact on her performance to such an extent? In any case, it must have been a disappointing result for Miss Delacour; hopefully, the issue will be rectified by the next task.
In third place, on 42 points, was Mr Viktor Krum. As his merguard reported that the mix-up with the hostages did not substantially impair his progress, the judges did not take it into account when considering the penalty for his tardiness. However, although he failed to return within the time limit, this was somewhat modulated by his ability to quickly adapt to unexpected circumstances and the display of moral fibre in his choice of hostages. Furthermore, the judges determined that his use of partial human Transfiguration denoted a skilful and inventive approach to the task.
In second place, on 47 points, was Mr Cedric Diggory. He, like the Beauxbatons champion, made use of the Bubble-Head Charm. His journey was apparently fairly uneventful. Unfortunately, he too was marked down for returning after the time limit had elapsed.
And, scraping into first place with 48 points, was Mr Harry Potter. He was the only champion to use a plant-based rather than magic-based strategy, with the judges viewed as a clever and effectively simple method. Of course, one hopes that he took a supply of gillyweed down with him in case his initial dosage ran out. The judges were allegedly conflicted as to the effect that his decision to return with Hermione Granger should have on his score, but, ultimately, unanimously decided to give him high scores as he was also the only champion to successfully return within the allocated timeframe.
The judges were apparently incorrect in their assumption that the champions would need no direction as to whom to retrieve. Hopefully they will be more prepared for contingencies next time; while risk to competitors has always been an intrinsic part of the Triwizard Tournament, it is worrying when easily solved issues such as this are left unattended to. Risks should, after all, be the result of careful planning rather than potential negligence.
After such an eventful day, even I, self-professed seeker of the gritty reality and the scandals that people try to hide behind polite veneers, am knackered. I believe I am deserving of a nice glass of wine and a book. Of course, knowing my luck, I'll probably stumble across some big conspiracy behind the brand or author. (If I do, you will, as always, be the first to know.) After all, who knew that staring at a lake for over an hour could be so positively thrilling?
A/N: Thank you to everyone who has followed, favourited or reviewed this, and to my lovely brother for being a full-time employee by day yet a beta reader by whenever-schedules-align. In my experience on both sides of the fence, beta readers are like superheros swooping in to save you from anxiety and indecision. I'd probably still be dithering on point allocation without his help.
Other than some paperwork I need to finish ASAP, uni's over for the semester. Results aren't out yet, but nothing's made me want to retreat to my room for the next few years, so all's well overall. When I finish organising that and a few other projects I've committed to, I'll finish brainstorming and writing the rest of this story.
Also, I totally had Jaime Lyn Beatty's voice from her portrayal of Rita Skeeter in AVPSY running through my head when I first wrote this.
To the guest reviewer: Yeah, me too. I didn't at first, but writing it made me empathise with him more. He needed to acknowledge what happened, but it's a shame that Harry wasn't able to address it privately.
To adenoide: Because everyone's a bit of an idiot at some point in their lives, and very few people would have stuck by Harry as much as Ron did, let alone as much as Hermione did. Ron may have made some big mistakes, but that doesn't make him irredeemable. Besides, Ron was nice to Harry before he realised who he was. They wouldn't have been as close had he not been Harry Potter and had they not faced all that came with that, but I think they would have still been friends.
To PaC: Write whatever kind of review you want to write (well, flames are never appreciated, but you know what I mean). My references to the length were just me acknowledging that I'd considered what you'd said but couldn't respond to it in depth here. However, it's hard to make a definitive judgement about what constitutes a 'fully fledged fanfic'. There's no universally accepted definition of what makes a story a story. Sure, there's the basic structures you learn about at school, but there are a myriad of different approaches to and possible subversions of them. And, however much I despise what Rita did, I personally feel that those punishments would be too harsh. A prison sentence for fraud or for trespassing on school grounds? Sure. A violation of her basic human rights? Wizards might not have a concept of what that means, but I don't think there's ever a reason for that.