Eli's POV.
"I don't want to. Don't make me."
Those were the words I spoke to myself when the doctors finally told me there was nothing more that we could do for my love, my Clare. I then again repeated those same words to myself when I had to tell my son, that his mother was going to go away forever. I again am repeating the same words, only now I'm yelling them. I'm actually screaming them. At who? I don't really know, I'd have to guess God. I stumbled my way to the local church with red eyes, and a broken heart.
"I don't want to! Don't make me! Do not make me live without her, how could you even think of doing this to me! You're real right? Then everything they say about you must be real too, you must love us if you created us...you have to right? Then why would do you so evily do things to hurt us!" I was on my knees crying, shaking, maybe even dying myself. What i was feeling was so much more than hurt, it was hell. After everything I had ever done in my life to keep my Clare, God is just going to snatch her from me? It isn't fair that our son will one day grow up and look at me and say, "I wish my mom was here." Ive known for a month now that Clare is destined to slip away from us, but I could not bring myself to tell my child until a few days ago. As soon as he understood what I was saying, he stepped away from me and walked into his mothers room. His eyes changed in one second, in one second I broke all his trust in the world. The next few days he did not leave Clare's side unless forced, and he would not speak to me. He was blaming me for not saving his mom, for not keeping my promises. I promised him we'd all three be a family, I promised him his mom would be fine, I lied. Before coming here, I tired to embrace my son as he cried because his mother would not wake up, and I was rejected. Clare is still alive and breathing, but her pain has become so intense and her medication so strong that they are telling us to expect her to go within the next few hours while she slept. I should be by her side, but how in the world can I watch her die. I won't.
"Get up Eli, go to her now."
It was Darcy, showing up just when she wasn't wanted. Like always. "Go away."
Darcy knelt before me and took my hand. "I know I made these last few months hard on you, but it was only because I was trying everything in my power to try and get away from what's happening right now. I tried to rewind time, and now that reality is staring me in the face I realize that I was wrong. Eli nothing is going to make this go away, and we cant go back."
I looked at her and in the saddest and weakest sob I could muster, I begged her for mercy. " Please kill me." I cried. "Kill me as soon as she stops being, please Darcy don't make me do this. Please." Snot was dripping down my face and my lip was quiviering, but I did not care how pathetic and weak I was being. I just wanted it to all end.
Darcy frowned, as she lifted my weak body up. "She's waiting for you, you know she won't go until you're there. I don't want to make you do this." She let a tear fall as she held me up while staring into my eyes. "You have to do this. I'm making you do this."