Atsushi felt both robbed and overjoyed as he walked to the agency with Dazai. He had made and ate breakfast within two minutes, but that still wasn't fast enough. He was convinced Dazai ate so slowly on purpose, and all Atsushi could do was watch as Dazai spent half an hour eating one single piece of toast and some scrambled eggs, each second taking away from their shower time. They barely had time to shower, but on the bright side, he did get to see and touch Dazai this time. Atsushi was daydreaming about his body without the bandages. Those abs were rock hard, just like his-
"Atsushi-kun, are you listening to me?" He blushed, apologizing and turning his attention to the older man; he really should have been paying attention to his new… what were they? Were they dating? Were they just going to be sleeping together? Was… Was Dazai his sugar daddy now? He did get Atsushi a phone, "Are you excited for your job interview?" Atsu nodded, smiling as Dazai hinted at the mystery job he would be interviewed for. He thanked his lucky stars that that low-budget orphanage taught him to read and write. "You'll be perfect for it. I may even be able to help you get it." Dazai said with a wink, making the white haired male blush.
"Thank you so much!"
"No problem, afterall I am Dazai, the most trustworthy member of the Agency." A man with long blonde hair held back in a ponytail and glasses came running up to them.
"Dazai! I've been looking for you everywhere, Bandage Waster!" he yelled angrily, pointing at the brunette accusingly. Dazai stepped back, groaning and covering his face,
""B-Bandage Waster"! Kunikida, that actually hurt! Why couldn't you come up with a better nickname?" he complained, while his aforementioned bandages stood out just a little bit more than usual.
"You're delusional, thinking you're the most trustworthy member of the agency. We get more complaints about you and your suicide attempts than anyone!" Atsushi gasped, shocked by this new information. He had only known Dazai for a day or so, and in that time, he hadn't tried anything- well, besides singing a song about committing a double suicide. How did that go again? "Double suicide, double suicide, you can't commit a double suicide by yourself, double suicide, double suicide, double suicide!" or something like that. Atsushi totally zoned out.
"There's an emergency! There's a bomber at the agency and he took a hostage." Atsu snapped to attention at this sudden change of tone, looking wide-eyed at the brunette.
"Atsushi-kun, why don't you come to work with me?" He mulled it over for a minute, and, against his inner coward's better judgement, he nodded, agreeing to go; but that didn't change the fact the he held Dazai's hand a little too tightly the entire way there. It was obvious he was terrified of what might happen. Atsu counted the steps to calm himself, but he gave up on that by the time they started on the stairs.
Once at the top of all four flights, Kunikida and Dazai ducked behind a planter box, the latter pulling Atsushi down next to them. Dazai might have pecked Atsu's cheek when Kunikida wasn't looking, who knows. The three of them listened as the bomber ranted and demanded to see the president. Atsu felt sorry for the girl as they peeked through the plant to watch.
"It sounds like this guy has a personal grudge. That's inconvenient," he whispered, holding Dazai's hand still. This was the most tense situation he's been a part of in months.
"Agreed," whispered Kunikida who turned to look at Atsushi, "Why is your face so red?" Atsushi almost squeaked, his face turning a much darker red as he leaned close to Dazai, which only amplified the effects of his hormones. Dazai grinned like a cheshire cat, hugging Atsu closely from behind,
"It;s because he's been fantasizing about me all day," Dazai teased quietly, much to the smaller boy's protest. Atsu struggled against Dazai as his face grew redder by the second; he almost forgot to stay silent. Kunikida quietly cleared his throat when he felt he had watched this scene for long enough.
"Congratulations on your relationship, but we have more pressing matters," the blonde whispered. Dazai released Atsu from his grip, letting the boy slide down to the floor with his head resting in the brunette's lap; the boy looked exhausted, maybe that was too much teasing for him, but Dazai regretted nothing.
"That's a military grade bomb. If he presses that button, it'll take out the entire floor and kill everyone. Maybe we can reduce the blast if we cover it with something first." Atsushi's eyes went wide as Dazai spoke. He opened his mouth to speak but Dazai covered it with his hand, shaking his head at the boy as if he knew the boy's flight response was already activated, he was choosing to stay for Dazai, and he was about to suggest something along the lines of running or calling the military for help.
"Atsushi, because of the work we do, we attract a lot of ill-will. The hostage's name is Naomi; she's a part-time office assistant," Dazai continued as Atsu sat up, watching the girl struggle against the rope.
"She's not a member of the Agency? She just a terrible victim in this horrible mess," the weretiger mumbled to himself as the other two men leaned back behind him and began strategizing.
"We should bring him the President," Dazai suggested
"He'll kill the President! Besides, he's off on a business trip."
"Oh right. I forgot. There's only one thing to do, then."
Atsushi turned around, watching them with interest. He spent time pondering what to do as their expressions turned especially serious… only for them to play three rounds of rock, paper, scissors. Kunikida groaned when he lost, while Dazai teased him. The former stood up with a simple statement of
"Hey. Easy does it, kid."
"I only wanna see the President. Stand back unless you want to see me blow this place to bits!" Kunikida held his hands up in surrender
"Okay."
"I know who you are," the bomber said, pointing with his detonator at the blonde, "lay down on that desk on your hands and knees; I don't want you using that annoying ability of yours! You do exactly as I say, or I'm taking everyone down with me!" Kunikida did as he was told as Dazai cursed quietly behind the plant.
"This isn't good. He's done his research on all the members' names and faces. If I go out there, it will only make him angrier. Oh my, whatever shall we do now?" Atsushi shuddered; he suddenly got a really bad feeling as Dazai turned to him. He no longer had his vice-like grip on Dazai's hand, so his fingernails dug into his own palms as Dazai said his name.
"At-su-shi-kun~"
"Absolutely not!" Atsu whispered, bordering on a whimper.
"Listen, Atsushi, you're the only option. You're not a member and the bomber doesn't know you at all," Dazai moved without Atsushi noticing and began digging through boxes, "I have an idea. You can pretend to be a mailman. There's even some props." Atsushi turned to the man several paces behind him and began trying to convince him to think of something else.
"Even if I do go over there, there's nothing I can do." Dazai smiled,
"That's alright. Just talk to him, distract him. We'll be able to handle the rest." Next thing he knew, Atsushi was half an hour into talking to the bomber. He had learned his name, age, favorite color, sexuality; really everything but his grievance with the agency. Dazai wanted him to act pathetic, but he had decided to be a little less pathetic than what Dazai would have wanted. He had been beating around the bush for a little while now though, it was time to get the remote.
"You still have plenty of reasons to live! You shouldn't do it."
"Like what?"
"Well…" he took a moment too long to reply, "there's tea on rice. A-And you're straight. This world loves heterosexual people. Plus you have a bed to sleep on and a roof over your head. You're actually kind of attractive- I'm gay, s-so I know," He could feel Dazai staring holes into his back at that comment, "you could get a girlfriend easily if you wanted. Maybe one as pretty as her," he said, pointing at Naomi. He was digging himself a pretty deep hole with his… significant other? Fuckbuddy? Sugar daddy? Sugar daddy seemed most accurate for the moment, but then again, Dazai did want him to work. He heard a camera shutter click from Dazai's direction, as if he was taking pictures of this moment for some reason, "a-and maybe we can get jobs together," oh shit he forgot he was playing a mailman, "th-this is my last day as a newspaper boy s-so I need a new one," nice save.
"We could both have such bright futures, so please don't blow us up." Atsushi had worked his way closer throughout their now hour-long conversation. He was right next to the red haired bomber.
"That's not good enough! I'm tired of talking." The bomber's thumb made its way to the detonator's button,
"Wait!" Atsushi screamed, stopping the bomber in his tracks, "C-Can I have one last request?" He was caught off guard,
"Now Kunikida!" Dazai yelled
"Doppo poet! Wire gun!" Kunikida tore a piece of paper from his journal, turned it into a wire gun, and used it to snatch the detonator out of the bomber's hand while the former cursed loudly. Within seconds, the bomber was on the floor with Kunikida on top of his back.
"Okay, everyone; well done." The other assistants clapped as Dazai and Kunikida bickered- mostly due to Dazai's teasing. Atsushi was relieved he was able to do his part. He slid down to the floor next to Naomi, watching as Kunikida started to write what Dazai was saying in his green notebook. He wasn't really paying attention though.
"GAHHH! You little weasel, I'll teach you to-" Kunikida had kicked Dazai all the way into the door; the bomber stood quickly, kicking Kunikida into Dazai and taking back the remote.
"I swear, anybody who has supernatural powers is not right in the head!" he said as he pressed the big red button, starting the bomb's timer. Atsushi panicked as the bomber continued to attack Kunikida, frantically looking for something to cover the bomb and yelling in frustration when he found nothing. Twelve seconds left. He threw Naomi back and grabbed the bomb, covering it with his body and waiting for the countdown.
"Atsushi!" Dazai yelled,
"Don't do it, you fool!" Kunikida yelled. He felt sad more than scared; things were finally looking up in his life, and this just had to happen now. He closed his eyes. Three seconds. Two seconds. One second. The bomb beeped, but didn't explode. Atsushi sat up, confused.
"Geez, I knew the boy was stupid but I didn't think he was this dumb," Kunikida broke the silence. Dazai stared for a moment in shock, but he brushed it off.
"He has the talent to become a suicidal maniac," Dazai laughed, "Wouldn't you agree with me, Tanizaki?" Naomi tackled Tanizaki,
"Oh big brother, please tell me you're alright~" They had a strange relationship, that's for sure. And they definitely seemed a bit intimate for siblings. Naomi turned her attention to Atsushi in a jealous rage,
"And you! He's mine! Don't you ever call my brother attractive again!" Atsushi put his arms in front of himself for defense,
"N-No, it's not like that, I w-was just trying to keep him from blowing up the Agen-"
"SO YOU DON'T THINK HE'S ATTRACTIVE?"
"I-I don't know how to answer this without getting hurt,"
"WELL IS HE ATTRACTIVE OR NOT?!"
"He's…"
"HE'S WHAT? FINISH YOUR SENTENCE VERy carefully…" she got quieter as Dazai appeared behind Atsushi, hugging him tightly and pulling him into a kiss. Atsushi blushed, gently pushing Dazai away,
"D-Dazai-san, please, not in public," Atsushi whined quietly, hiding his face in Dazai's coat. A collective chorus of "aww"s filled the room, making it worse for Atsushi who decided to his behind Dazai; he was really shy today and the tension earlier did not help.
"As adorable as this is, why don't you take him somewhere more private to calm down and clean himself up, Dazai? He looks like he's too socially exhausted to celebrate his new job right now; let's hold off on the party until the workday is over," the President suggested, making his entrance.
"Sounds good," Dazai said while walking Atsushi out the door, "Welcome to the Armed Detective Agency."