"Yellow," Akutagawa said quietly as he stood on the balcony, overlooking the city. They were too high above the ground for pedestrians to notice their lack of clothes, probably too high to be seen as more than dots on a skyscraper. His dramatic black coat bellowed in the wind, providing a strange contrast to the gentle swaying of his mostly black hair. Dazai stood a few steps behind the younger male, admiring him as much as their distance from the ground. It would take one little jump,
"I'm listening." The brunette replied gently, not moving any closer to the edge. Akutagawa hadn't bothered looking anywhere besides forward, taking in the view of the city at sunrise,
"I'm sure you already know what it's about," he said after a few moments of silence, "please," his voice broke, "don't make me say it." Dazai understood why Akutagawa chose the balcony, and this room. They were only two rooms away from the bedroom, but neither of them could hear anything outside of the room. Neither of them could hear Atsushi.
"I didn't consider your feelings in any of this. I'm not sure I ever have," Akutagawa nodded slightly,
"There's more to it than that," this was a code, no, a separate language. The words he spoke on the surface were the key to his deeper meanings, but they held more value than that at the same time. Do you really love me? That was the second meaning.
"The Weretiger," he started barely above a whisper, but not continuing after those words. Do you want me, or are we together because you were going to get caught? You love him more. He's your favorite. Just tell me once to leave, and you'll never see me again.
"I love and want both of you, and I'm not going to choose one of you over the other," Dazai said simply, watching the boy's nails dig into the railing, "though, if it makes you feel better, he's not very fond of me right now. Not the human side, at least." Akutagawa whipped around, rashomon surrounding him as he glared accusations into the older man as his frosted tips floated like a dark halo framing his head.
"He and the Tiger share a body, but they aren't the same," Akutagawa's aura calmed, but rashomon stayed, wrapping around the ravenette protectively as he narrowed his eyes. Like Chuuya?
"It's probably dissociative identity disorder, which isn't uncommon for people who are severely abused from a young age; but I'm not qualified to diagnose something like that." Aku bit his lip, averting his gaze for a moment as he considered this new information.
"How far have you gotten with.. the Tiger?" He asked carefully, a decent amount of disgust flashing through his expression for a split second as he considered the implications of Dazai's words. The brunette wished the boy would call off the yellow already so he could touch him and tease him, but he had to follow the rules or there would be no trust between them. The brunette plopped down on one of the two couches in the room, gesturing for Akutagawa to sit with him. The ravenette reluctantly sat across from him, a small coffee table separating the two. Dazai didn't see this ending anytime soon.
"For starters, Tiger keeps a mostly human form when he comes out. He usually keeps his front paws, ears, and tail; sometimes his teeth too, but not often since he figured out blowjobs. Everything else is usually human because he knows I won't fuck him as a full tiger." Akutagawa nodded, not nearly as jealous and angry as before, but now plagued with a peculiar curiosity.
"His stripes show when he's excited enough, but his fur doesn't come through. I was given an entire week off of work when he went into heat, so he's very well trained, but Atsushi wasn't able to retain anything, even from the bits he does remember." The ravenette knew firsthand how much Dazai could change in a week, and how long it could take to undo his training.
"How does Atsushi feel about this?" Dazai couldn't hold back amused expression,
"He only found out a few minutes ago. He was going to follow you-"
"A fatal mistake," Aku interjected,
"I stopped him by bringing Tiger out. Atsushi regained control over him for just enough time to say "fuck you." I would have rewarded Tiger for his obedience, but he didn't keep his position."
"And where is he now?" How are you fixing that?
"He's being punished in the bedroom." Akutagawa responded with silence, his body language dripping with sass and sarcasm. I know that. How is he being punished?
"Do you want to keep talking, or do you want to see him?" He could see the boy's confliction, "I'll let you play dom for a little while," Dazai winked, driving Akutagawa to the edge. The ravenette swallowed thickly, his hands curling into fists around his coat,
"Would I get complete control?"
"Hmmm.. With limits."
"It's not complete if it has limits," Aku snapped back at the brunette a little too quickly, his leg starting to shake in place. Dazai leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and his chin his interlaced fingers,
"What exactly are you planning?" The darkness in his expression sent shivers down his spine, but Aku refused to let it show.
"You won't need to know that if I'm playing dom." The ravenette taunted, refusing to back down.
"Nothing that can kill him. Don't loan him out to anyone. Limit the pain- he doesn't entirely appreciate it yet, and has a much lower pain tolerance than you," Dazai sat up, crossing an arm across his chest but keeping his other hand on his chin as he continued to think, "what else…? He doesn't have much exposure to anything; neither him nor Tiger." The younger male was visibly calming as Dazai talked, though he remained silent for several moments as the older male continued to think,
"There's one more thing I'd like to ask you about," Dazai's eyes snapped to focus on Akutagawa, watching the male closely,
"Have you killed anyone recently?" For once, the brunette couldn't read the boy's expression; he couldn't guess his thoughts. He sighed,
"No, not since I left the Port Mafia. Why?"
"You seem on edge," he observed casually, sinking comfortably.
"I will need to watch your sessions until I can trust you not to kill him."
"So the tiger hasn't topped before?"
"Stop changing the subject."
"I could ask you to do the same," Aku barely restrained himself from standing up and yelling it at the older man, he took a deep breath to calm down again, "we haven't truly addressed anything yet." Like that night in the dungeon,
"I was horrible to you in the past, but I have changed since then. You trusted me at my worst, why not now?"
"You were faithfully monogamous at your "worst." I'm just as responsible in that incident as you are, but you still invited me in. Are you going to tell Atsushi how long your scheme took? I didn't give him any details."
"What would you gain from it? You won't get me in a monogamous relationship again. I thought you would be thrilled to join in on me and Atsushi; you're already getting so much more than sex this way." Akutagawa snorted, rolling his eyes and looking away,
"Like what? All we've done is fuck. The Weretiger was so keen on rutting his pain away, I've barely spoken to him this entire time."
"Have you ever cuddled with me before?" The words hit the ravenette like a kick to the chest and left him gasping for air, "Or even slept in the same bed? I know for a fact I've never stuck around long enough for you to wake up before." His throat tightened and eyes burned with unshed tears, his collar felt like a noose holding him up as the weight of his emotions dragged him down. He pulled at it desperately, "you were just a toy for me back then, and I wanted to see you break." He started coughing, but this wasn't his normal cough. "But I don't want that now," He couldn't breathe as tears started to carve salty tracks down his face. He felt like he was going to puke, "I don't want to hurt you just because I can." He was shaking as rashomon swirled around him, forming a wall between him and Dazai.
"I love you, Akutagawa. I took you for granted when I was young and stupid; I don't intend to make that mistake again, but I'm not willing to let go of Atsushi either. Both of you are important to me." The ravenette curled into a ball on the couch, not that Dazai could see him as rashomon formed a sphere around him. The brunette sighed, standing after a few seconds. He walked slowly to the back of the couch and activated his ability. He was reluctant in doing so, in breaking the trust they had in the past, but there was no other way. He gently reached out to the boy underneath the angry black mass, draping his arms over Akutagawa's shoulders in a loose embrace as rashomon disappeared. He kissed the boy's cheek chastely,
"We can take as long as you need to adjust to this," he nodded silently after a moment, "I don't expect you to love Atsushi right away, but you can't hurt him for the wrong reasons. Deal?" He hesitantly nodded, turning around on the couch with his knees now pressing against the cushions as he faced Dazai,
"I think all three of us need to keep separate apartments for awhile. I don't like that he lives with you,"
"I think he'll agree with that after everything that's happened."
"Though I wouldn't be opposed to giving both of you keys to my apartment, or receiving keys to either of yours," Dazai nodded, reaching a hand up to gently wipe off some of the ravenette quickly drying tears,
"And maybe we should take this slower if it's going to be a real relationship," a teasing smirk graced Dazai's lips,
"Are you asking me on a date~?" Aku blushed,
"Not if you'd prefer to ask me first," The brunette leaned down, kissing him sweetly,
"I'd love to. Is there anything else you want to talk about?"
"Yes-" both of their heads snapped in the direction of the bedroom as they heard a loud, pained scream.