So sorry, I uploaded the wrong chapter before! Oops!
Carol frowned when Jamie headed off to be under the stairs. The girl had seemed shocked ever since she saw her- that Carol could understand. But now, the way she had just shut down, confused her.
Jamie sat under the staircase, in the darkness. Her back was against the wall, in the normal way she slept. But she was upset with herself.
Dead. Carol had been dead, they'd all been sure of it... And then she came back. Came back from the dead. And she couldn't even give her a damn hug. Because as soon as she'd seen Carol, she'd thought of her mother, and Lily, and her father, and Ryder. They hadn't come back from the dead. Yet Carol had.
And she'd been jealous, so jealous, wishing her family had managed to lock themselves in the barn before that herd came through, or find a way to LIVE... But they hadn't. And Carol had.
And she was being such a bastard, not talking to Carol. But she honestly didn't think she could, not without snapping and asking why she'd had to live. Why couldn't it have been someone else?
And now she sat, kicking herself. She should be HAPPY, Carol was ALIVE. But she couldn't be. And so she sat alone in the darkness, waiting for sleep that never came.
So she waited. Waited until Carol was in her cell, asleep, before she snuck in. She sat beside the woman, looking at her face... No visible scars. But Andrea had told her about Ed, what he'd done to her... Andrea was dead, too. Andrea hadn't managed to hide, hadn't managed to survive. Yet Carol had.
She cursed under her breath. She had to stop thinking like that, stop wondering WHY it had been Carol. She should just be glad it WAS Carol. But she couldn't, not with all the dead faces that haunted her in her dreams...
"Jamie?" Carol looked up, shocked, to see the girl sitting in the corner of her cell, watching her.
"Go back to sleep." Jamie said, trying to be gentle but coming off as gruff. She couldn't stop some of the venom that had seeped into her voice.
"Jamie, we need to talk..." Carol said, sitting up.
"Go ahead, talk." Jamie said. Because she really hoped Carol would say something that would stop her from being mad...
"Why are you so cold towards me? Is it something I did, something I said?"
"No. I'm just a bitch." Jamie said, and Carol stared.
"Jamie, honey, you aren't..."
"Don't call me honey. Don't call me anything." Jamie said. Because she didn't deserve this, not after what she'd been thinking.
"Jamie..." Carol said, looking hurt.
Jamie sighed. "I don't deserve it. When I saw you alive, I just thought... why wasn't it Ryder? Or any of my family. But forget it, just forget it..."
"Jamie..." Carol didn't know what to say for a minute. Finally, she spoke. "I can't say that I would trade places with your family, but if it meant being with my Sophia- I'd do it in a heartbeat. Did anyone tell you about Sophia?"
"No. But I heard Carl talk to her, he said, 'hey, Sophia, come look at...' and he just trailed off. When you were burying Ryder, I saw the fresh grave and put two and two together."
Carol nodded. "You know, then. I'm sorry, I can't do anything to bring them back... But we have to survive." Carol said simply.
Jamie nodded. "I figured that out when Ryder died. I have to go- Can't stand being in a damn cage..." she looked at the small cell, looking disgusted, and Carol smiled slightly, watching the girl head back to her place under the stairs from where she stood in the doorway.
"Well? You just gonna stare at me all night?" Jamie asked, and Carol realized she was a hunter. Of course she'd noticed Carol watching her...
"You know, you were the exact opposite of her. My Sophia, I mean. My husband, Ed..."
"I know. Don't say the bastard's name." Jamie growled, surprising her.
She nodded. "Well, anyways, Sophia was the exact opposite of you. Skittish and shy, scared, she was from the city, she'd never touched a gun..." she looked t the light drifting from the high up window, that had a metal grate over it. Moonlit that penetrated the darkness...
"And she was bit. She was lost in the woods, and she got bit... Two things I know you'd never do. You've already proven that."
Jamie nodded, not interrupting. She didn't want to, she had nothing to say that would even compare to how important words about Carol's daughter were.
"But Sophia... She was always afraid. And I got to thinking, what's a life when you're always scared, always terrified? I think... I think it's better she died. She's in a different place now, a place where she isn't afraid. You- you're different. You're not afraid..."
"Who says I'm never afraid? I get scared. I jest push through it- you gotta be brave if you wanna survive."
Carol blinked, surprised. She'd never heard Jamie admit fear- she was so like Daryl, it was shocking.
"Yes, but... Sophia. She would scream and have nightmares, she would ask me, what if there are walkers outside the tent..."
"I have nightmares. I just don't scream." Jamie said simply.
Carol nodded. "But Sophia was cinstantly afraid. Afraid to go outside the tent, afraid to see her father, afraid to walk around alone... What kind of life is that?"
"A sucky one." Jamie said simply.
Carol nodded. "Which is why I'm glad she's someplace else..."