Chapter 8

Despite it being well after midnight, the ground Alyna sat on hugging her crossed legs was still warm. There were a few clouds in the sky, but not enough to block out the night's half-moon from illuminating the carnage that surrounded her. Talnia had released her just after sunset, and she had run off into the forest. She had no idea where she was, but her self-loathing and fury had finally eased enough for her to think clearly.

The humans around her were not so lucky. The dozen or so men, women and children were from a nearby hamlet. She had no clue why they had been camping out around the modest bonfire, probably for some inane human festival, but when she had accidentally run into them … she had lost control. She hadn't even been able to stop herself to feed. They lay torn to pieces around her, and she had been unable to leave. She had just sat there, rocking back and forth.

She desperately wished she could cry. She had hated crying while alive, but it had always made her feel better by acting as an emotional release. At the very least, it was generally a healthier alternative to murder. She buried her face in her hands and let out a dry sob of despair.

She was also slightly drunk, though rapidly sobering up. She had found various drinks in the camp, and had downed them all in an effort to remove the taste of her captain from her mouth. She only realised after she had finished that most were alcoholic, and that her body was somehow capable of absorbing enough of it to make her drunk. It was a day of firsts, it would seem.

Her mind was slowly reordering itself, and she was struggling to cope with what she was recalling. She had mentally retreated during the rest of the ordeal Talnia had put her through in an effort to preserve herself. It had the effect of almost separating her mind from her body while it was being abused. Now it was over, she was trying to slowly process what had happened in a manner that didn't cause her any more damage than had already been done. She hated that she was in this position again. It was how she had maintained her sanity through years of torture. She had never thought she would have to make use of the technique again after she had left the Scourge, but here she was, and she wasn't sure if she could cope with it now she was free.

If only it was just her mind she had to look after. She could still feel Talnia's hands toying with her body, along with echoes of her laugh. While her skin still crawled, it also hummed with a faint undercurrent of arousal that simultaneously disgusted her. If Talnia had been right in what she'd said about the Lich King suppressing her sex drive, and that it would return with interest, this was only going to be the start of her problems. Even worse, Talnia knew about it, and would be waiting. Perhaps it was always going to happen even if Talnia had not interfered, but she would have vastly preferred that over what happened.

A faint noise behind her made her jump. She should have stood up and challenged whatever was there, but she suddenly realised she didn't care. Her dim hope that it was a human hunting party coming for her head disappeared when a familiar form walked around into her field of vision.

Kyala gave her a perplexed look, and did not immediately say anything as she took in the shattered remains of the people Alyna had killed. When she did speak, she did not hide her concern.

"What happened here?"

Alyna's voice was quiet, and raw. "Where were you?"

Kyala blinked at the accusation. "I … had something I had to do."

Alyna grit her teeth as she angrily repeated her question. "Where. Were. You?"

The normally pleasant ranger frowned at Alyna before flatly stating, "You're not my captain anymore, Alyna. I do not answer to you, and I do not have to explain myself to you either."

"No," snapped Alyna, "You answer to her." She was fairly sure she just slightly slurred her words, but she didn't care. She laughed mockingly. "Was she displeased with you when you couldn't tell her anything? That's where you've been, right? Reporting back like a loyal dog?"

Kyala did not physically react to her tone, but she knew the woman well despite their years apart and subsequent deaths. Kyala's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly in anger.

Alyna waved the other woman away. "Leave me alone."

"Not until you tell me what happened."

"Nothing you want to know." She laughed bitterly. "Or rather, nothing she wants to know, because talking to you is tantamount to talking to our Lady Sylvanas, isn't it? Do you tell her everything, Kyala? Does she know who you fuck, as well?"

Kyala pointedly ignored the taunting and stiffly strolled around the campsite. "You lost control," she observed emotionlessly as she tapped an empty bottle with her booted toe. "Was that before or after you got drunk?"

Alyna laughed, and even to her own ears she sounded a little crazy. "Ooooo you're good. I can see why she uses you to spy on me."

"You cannot give in to your anger, Alyna. It'll consume you."

"You think I'm angry?" Alyna stood up slowly, and as she did so, dark shadowflame flared up out of the torn body parts around her. "I'm fucking furious!" she shouted.

More flames leapt up from the tents and Kyala began to look uncomfortable as she backed away from the heat of the fires. She turned to regard Alyna coldly. "If you attack me … you can forget about being a ranger again."

Alyna spun around on the spot as she yelled to the trees. "Is that all anyone here can come up with?! Threats and ultimatums?!" She turned to lock eyes with her former friend, her voice now condescending. "'Do what I say so you can get what you want', except you all conveniently forget to mention that it will cost me everything in the process!"

Kyala's jaw had dropped at her display. She asked almost softly, "What the hell happened while I was gone?"

The note of genuine concern hit Alyna hard. Her flames did not disappear, but they did not burn as hotly as they had, making the temperature more comfortable. She turned to watch them flicker as they consumed the evidence of her violence.

"You came here for a reason," Alyna said emptily. "What do you want?"

Kyala shook her head in disbelief at the last few minutes before she composed herself enough to reply. "You weren't at the barracks. Talnia sent me to find you to continue your training." She paused and looked around. "If … that's what you still want."

Was that what she still wanted? Was all of this worth it? Talnia had made it very clear this had not been a one off encounter. Was she willing to submit to the violation and humiliation the captain was sure to put her through to be a ranger again, and then remain one?

Over a century ago, she had told her magically talented family she had no interest or talent in magic, and that she wanted to become a ranger. Her father had been disappointed. Her mother had told her it was a hard life to choose, possibly the hardest possible, in an effort to dissuade her daughter. She would have to make great sacrifices, and do things she did not necessarily want to do to become a ranger. Her mother had asked her if she was willing to do what it took to be successful. She had been, and realising she was serious, they had forbidden her from applying to the Farstriders. She did it anyway, and she had then done everything they had asked of her, and more.

Was she still willing? What else was there if she wasn't?

The truth was, she didn't know the answers to either question, and until she did, she figured Talnia would have to behave herself as long as Kyala was around. She would have time to make a decision without jeopardising her future if she chose to remain a ranger.

Wordlessly, she turned and began to walk in the direction she thought might take her back to Undercity. Behind her, one of the tents collapsed in on itself as her fires subsided. She could feel Kyala watching her before the other woman followed silently.

After a few minutes, Kyala quipped, "You don't know where you're going, do you."

"Not a goddamn clue."

Kyala chuckled and took the lead, adjusting their heading. Alyna felt her shoulders relax for the first time in hours. She followed in silence, and she was thankful that Kyala did not try to strike up one of her many aimless conversations. Eventually, it was Alyna who spoke first.

"How did you find me?"

Kyala glanced at her warily. "What I found you with were not the only corpses you've left in your wake tonight. I just followed the trail."

"Oh," Alyna managed to reply numbly.

"They were mostly animals," Kyala added in some vague attempt to help Alyna feel better.

Alyna stared at the ground as they walked. "I promised Syl— … Lady Sylvanas … that I would not attack the local humans."

"I know." Long moments of silence stretched by before Kyala quietly said, "Perhaps, she doesn't have to hear about this, just this one time."

Alyna looked up at her escort, her voice laced with suspicion. "And what would you have in return for such a favour?"

Kyala stopped abruptly and turned to face Alyna, her red eyes flaring angrily. The reaction was brief, and she quickly composed herself. Presently, she shook her head sadly. "Nothing, Alyna. I want nothing from you, though I wish you'd trust me again."

"Trust is earned," Alyna bluntly replied.

"Yes, yes it is. And you are not trusted yet by the only person who matters. Everything else is meaningless if you don't resolve that, and soon."

"Is that why you're glued to my ass? Because Lady Sylvanas doesn't trust me?" Kyala raised a dark eyebrow and continued their walk back to Undercity without answering. Alyna jogged to catch up. "How do I go about getting an audience with her?"

"To do what, exactly?"

"To talk to her." Alyna thought that much was obvious.

"About?"

"Stuff. Things. I'm not sure. Whatever she wants to know, I suppose."

Kyala snorted her amusement. "Good luck with that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

The other woman still sounded amused. "It means the Dark Lady is not good at chit chats that have even a remote chance of getting personal."

Alyna grinned fondly. "She never was when she was alive, either."

Kyala mirrored the grin. "True." She let the word hang between them before she added, "She's away for a few days, but I'll see what I can do when she gets back. I can't promise anything though."

Their conversation ceased, though the atmosphere was less strained between them. After another twenty minutes Kyala stopped and looked off through the trees in a different direction. She turned to Alyna.

"Look, I get that you're not going to tell me what happened earlier, though I hope you eventually change your mind about that. I'm ultimately here to help you succeed, Alyna." She shook her head slightly, "Please don't make me regret not mentioning your activities out here tonight."

"I'll … try," was all Alyna could manage. She very much wanted to promise, but after failing in her word to Sylvanas, how could she feel confident in pledging the same to Kyala?

Kyala did not seem comfortable with not getting a complete promise, but she realised it was all she was going to get. She sighed. "Are you hungry? It didn't look like you gave yourself time to eat back there."

Alyna closed her eyes and nodded briefly. She still had issues with admitting to her hunger around others. She felt it made her weak in their eyes.

"There should be some scarlets down here. Or somewhere near. I passed them earlier while looking for you." Kyala did not wait for her as she pressed into the trees.

Reluctantly, Alyna followed, food not the only thing she was now keenly aware of being hungry for.

Sylvanas tapped the dry nib of her quill rhythmically against her desk, deep in thought. She was distracted, and she hated being distracted. Her planned tour of various outposts had been as dull as expected, but her troops had been delirious at seeing her. She wished she could say the same for them. They were a shambles. Their equipment was poorly maintained, and spare parts had been rare. They all had told her the same story she had found in Brill – requests had been put in, and then disappeared into thin air.

Dillard.

She had paid him a visit when she had got back from the tour. He had personally felt her displeasure at his actions for several hours before even that bored her. His sanity had already been broken some time ago, so he was mostly useless as a source of information. She had then made her way to the blacksmiths in the war quarter, and what she had found there had resulted in her unleashing an angry banshee scream. Dillard had not stopped the requisitions of weapons and armour; he had just ordered them stored instead of deployed, which explained why she had not immediately detected it. She now had several officers running around trying to get the stores shipped out to where they were needed.

She still had to decide on who would be her new grand executor. She stared at the parchment her aide had drawn up earlier that day in order to seal the promotion. All that was missing, was a name, and her signature.

She was torn between a high executor who had been with her since the founding of the Forsaken five years ago, and a relatively young executor who was rapidly making a name for herself within Silverpine forest. He was dependable, but was very much a believer in conventional tactics that the living clung to, primarily out of habit rather than morality. The female executor had been thrown into fighting against the vicious worgen, who were crazed humanoid wolves that had come out of seemingly nowhere. Her imaginative tactics had helped to keep the threat at bay, and Sylvanas was tempted to put her skills to use across all of her lands instead of just a small part of it. It would cause a stir to promote the executor above her current superiors, but Sylvanas was sure she could scare the high executors into obedience. As always.

She was generally not one to give in to impulse, but she finally dipped the nib in ink and scratched a name into the gap, and then signed it at the bottom. She picked up the ink blotter and rolled it over the fresh ink to dry it in place, and then rolled up the parchment. She dripped black wax onto it, and then used her personal signet ring to stamp her authority on the decree. She then repeated the process five more times on prepared copies before she summoned her aide. Once he had shuffled away to send her announcement to all those who needed to hear it, she rose from her chair and strode over to the far side of her office.

A large solid table had been pushed up against the wall, though it was normally pulled away from it slightly to allow access to all sides. It was her map table, and it currently held a large map of the continent of Northrend. It was the only vaguely accurate one she had managed to find, and even then she was sure it was riddled with errors. It was already riddled with holes where some kind of insect had attacked it. A large box sat under the table with various types of figures that could be used to plot the positions of her military, the enemy, and points of interest. They had sat in there for years gathering dust, and her map was embarrassingly empty.

It was time to change that.

She had planned to order Alyna into her office for an official debrief with regards to what to expect in Northrend, but she had been advised by Talnia to leave it until her training was over. The suggestion had made sense, and she had bit down on her impatience. But the empty map had taunted her silently. She could have called in any of the death knights, she knew, but while she didn't trust Alyna implicitly she was still more inclined to accept her word over any death knight's. From what she understood of Alyna's former position, she was also the best person to ask.

Her hunger for revenge against Arthas welled within her chest and she decided to see if Alyna was in the city.

Decision made, she left her office and entered her throne room. In her haste, she almost collided with the last creature most would expect to find in her throne room – a dreadlord. When Sylvanas had broken free from Arthas, she had struck a deal with the three dreadlords who had controlled the Scourge in Lordaeron for their demonic lord. She had known they would betray her, and once she had returned to the ruins after trying to sail to Northrend, she had been right. But, she had been ready. In their negotiations, she had sensed that one of the dreadlords, Varimathras, could be manipulated to see things her way, and it had worked. She had cornered him with her new fledgling army, and he had begged for his life. He had even killed one of his brothers to prove his loyalty to her. These days, he acted as her chief advisor, and he took over the running of Undercity while she was away.

She ducked under his large wing and he gave her a curious look, not having expected her. She ignored him and left her throne room towards the Apothecarium. As was customary for her, she stealthed herself before she left the royal quarter. She crossed the canal at the nearest bridge, and was about to head north towards the war quarter when she heard an all too familiar cry of alarm.

Alyna!

She spun around and ran towards the raised voices, managing to weave her way through the growing throng of people without breaking her stealth. She realised the crowd were gathering near the local herbalist trainers. She frowned slightly. The herbalists were next door to where the tauren had set up their homes.

Her fear was eventually realised when she entered the area. She had not been able to get through the crowd here without dropping her stealth. The moment she did, the crowd went deathly quiet and parted for her. She strode confidently through them to the sight before her. She could see a pair of male tauren bent over a prone female with moderate burns on her face and arms. Alyna was being held aside by two rangers – Cleo, who regularly patrolled the city, and Kyala. Each of them had one hand on Alyna, and another on a drawn sword, and Sylvanas was not sure whether their swords were to keep the crowd back, or to control Alyna.

Her red eyes met Alyna's coldly for a moment before the other woman turned away, so the queen turned her attention towards the tauren. A second female tauren approached her as the males tended to their charge.

"Lady Sylvanas, we are gratified to see you."

The queen regarded the woman with a detached air as she searched her memory for the woman's name. "What happened here, Mala?"

The normally soft-spoken druid trainer growled angrily. "That ranger of yours attacked Mahala without provocation! We demand she be dealt with."

Sylvanas' eyes narrowed. "You … demand?"

Mala's own eyes widened at her realisation. "My apologies, Lady Sylvanas. The suddenness of the attack has me addled. We request that the matter be investigated and the ranger be disciplined accordingly for her disproportionate actions."

Sylvanas looked at the more than singed tauren on the floor. She had not moved since Sylvanas had arrived. "Is she dead?"

Her bluntness did not sit well with Mala, though Sylvanas couldn't care less about that. It was the tauren's choice to live around the Forsaken and they didn't soften their words for anyone.

"No, Dark Lady. Just unconscious from the pain. She was … set on fire." It took her considerable effort to swallow whatever emotion she was feeling before she continued. "She will make a full physical recovery, though we may need to request Thunderbluff send a new shaman trainer."

Sylvanas gave the woman a brief nod. "I'll handle this." She turned to walk towards Alyna, cutting off any reply Mala may have made. Alyna's eyes were still cast down, but it was clear she sensed her queen's approach as her body stiffened. Sylvanas cut her eyes between Kyala and Cleo and she said tersely, "With me, all of you."

She turned on her heel and made her way back to the royal quarter, the walk thankfully brief. As she entered her throne room, she barked her next order loudly, "Everyone out! Now!" Various ambassadors, dignitaries and citizens immediately moved towards the main doors. Once they were gone, Sylvanas gestured for the royal dreadguard to leave as well.

Once she stood before her throne, Sylvanas turned to Varimathras and glared at him. He hesitated a moment before bowing to his queen. He whispered a few words in his native demonic tongue and disappeared into one of his portals, leaving Sylvanas with her three rangers. She met Kyala's eyes evenly and the advice the woman had given her came to mind. She reluctantly accepted the woman's wisdom, and dismissed both Cleo and Kyala. Cleo had initially hesitated, but was encouraged to leave by Kyala. Sylvanas understood the reluctance as, like a good ranger, she would have seen Alyna as a threat.

Perhaps she was.

"Look at me," she ordered.

Dull black eyes met her own red ones and she realised there was something different in them, though she had no idea what or why. It was almost as if they were not as alive as they had been the last time they had spoken. She realised that had been over two weeks ago.

"You lied to me." Alyna did not reply, so Sylvanas continued. "You said it was nothing. What I just saw, was not nothing." She stepped towards Alyna, her position on the dais providing her with a significant height advantage. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"It's none of your concern."

The sullen words struck her like a blow to her stomach. She moved to within inches of her subordinate, her words an angry hiss. "I am your Queen! Everything is my concern."

Something flashed in Alyna's eyes in that moment before she broke their eye contact and began to walk slowly around the dais. Ordinarily, Sylvanas would have taken this as an affront to her authority, but this was behaviour she attributed to the old Alyna; the woman she had known when they had been alive. And together. Alyna had never been able to stand still when she was in deep thought. She let the woman pace.

"Talnia sent me to see one of the apothecaries outside the city," started Alyna. Her voice was distant, almost detached. "She told me to do whatever tasks he needed doing. So, I have been. I've killed bats for their fur, some canine-type creatures for their teeth, and retrieved dozens of eyeballs from untainted spiders." She turned to make sure Sylvanas could see her displeasure as well as hear it. "Fitting tasks for someone of my skills and accomplishments, don't you think?" She didn't wait for a reply. "Next, he wanted some mushrooms. But not just any mushrooms that anyone can pick, but some fancy glowing ones that can even kill me if I harvest them incorrectly. Do I look like a specialist herbalist?" She laughed hollowly. "I haven't a clue how to harvest such things so I came into the city to learn. While that was happening, the tauren who I had expressly told last week to leave me alone, would not leave me be."

"So you attacked her," Sylvanas finished.

"I defended myself!"

"You set her on fire!"

Alyna paused. Her next words came so quietly Sylvanas had to strain to hear them. "I didn't mean to."

"What is it about the tauren that unsettles you so much, or is it just that particular one? And if you tell me it's nothing or none of my business one more time I swear you'll be spending time in my dungeons."

She could see Alyna's jaw working furiously as she contemplated her options. In a move that surprised the queen, Alyna suddenly let her body go limp and she sank to the floor to sit on the cold stone. She hugged her legs to her chest tightly and rested her forehead on her knees. Despite having no need to breathe, Sylvanas could see her back rising and falling as the woman tried to contain … what? Fear? Anxiety? She was baffled. How was an undead elf having a panic attack?

Her positon on the dais now felt wrong somehow, so she moved closer to Alyna and sat down on the large step.

Alyna slowly regained her control, but did not raise her head from her knees. Consequently, her voice sounded muffled through her mask and her tight position.

"Have you heard of the taunka?"

Sylvanas started to shake her head before she realised Alyna could not see the gesture. "No."

"Northrend is not the dead frozen continent everyone here assumes it is. The taunka are one of the sentient races that inhabit it."

Sylvanas made what she thought was a logical connection between recent events, and the similarities in their names. "And they look like the tauren."

"Yes," Alyna replied numbly. "They've some distant ancestor in common or something, but they are very much alike."

"What about them?" Sylvanas prompted, trying not to sound too eager at the prospect of getting information about Northrend. That was why she had sought Alyna out in the first place, after all.

Alyna visibly shuddered and did not reply immediately. "I know you think I didn't try to break free from him, but I did. Frequently. For a couple of years."

"I —" started Sylvanas.

"Please don't deny it." She had been about to do just that, but she stopped. Alyna continued her train of thought, a myriad of emotions occasionally tinging her otherwise devoid tone. "He had put a collar on me that kept me magically tethered to my station in northern Icecrown. I managed to break it one day, and I ran. When he realised I was gone I could feel him trying to control me, but I resisted his control. When he went quiet, I thought I had broken his command over me. I could no longer feel his whispers."

Alyna's fists clenched as she tried to control her unnecessary breathing again. "I made it to the south coast of the continent. There was a fishing village on the tundra occupied by the taunka, and despite my fearsome sight, they let me in. They were wary at first, but I was not the first free Scourge they had encountered. They even helped me to design a boat and find the material to build it." She paused. "It was horrendous to look at, but with their help it was seaworthy. They threw a feast for me, though they understood I could not eat anything. They insisted it was necessary to bless the boat."

She looked up at Sylvanas, and the queen had not seen her black eyes as dead as they were in that moment.

"And then I heard him. Louder than ever before. It was as if my mind shook with the force of his voice. It was agonising." She bit her lip. "Apparently, I had become predictable in how I tried to escape from him, and he had decided to use this to teach me a lesson. He made me slaughter every last one of the adults, leaving those I had become closest to for last so they could see the monster they had accepted into their village. He made me feed from the children while they were still conscious so I could hear their screams. And then, because he could, he had me take all the infants to the beach when the tide was low, and lay them on the sand. They were covered in their parents' blood and he had me stand there and watch as the tide came in. He had me spare the village chief, so he could warn the others about me so I would be feared, and so any refuge I may need one day would be refused."

She dropped her forehead back down to her knees, utterly spent. "I did not resist him again after that."

Sylvanas' mouth felt dry, which was ridiculous because it was now always dry. For some reason her body felt now was the time for her to notice. For all of her own brutality and ruthlessness, Sylvanas knew that even she was not capable of doing what Arthas had forced Alyna to do.

"So, it's your guilt that drives your reaction to the tauren?"

Alyna laughed coldly, surprising the queen. "Guilt? I feel no guilt for my actions as most know it. I have no conscience left to feel guilty with. But I can still feel pain, and what I did that day has left deep wounds."

"Explain," Sylvanas ordered bluntly.

She found herself looking into Alyna's eyes again, and they appeared a little stronger as she replied. "When he killed you, he took a sliver of your soul to bind you to Frostmourne. The rest, he twisted into what you are … a banshee." Sylvanas inclined her head slightly in acknowledgement of the fact. "When he killed me, he tore my soul apart. My conscience, my love, my compassion … everything that was remotely good and decent about who I was … resides in Frostmourne." Alyna sighed. "Unfortunately, one does not have to feel guilt to suffer trauma. Or to feel sorry for yourself. I can still become attached to people. I can still suffer personal loss. I fear for myself, for what he has made me into and for what I can become. And, I can still hold myself responsible for my actions, it would seem."

"Your reaction to the tauren is part of a traumatic response?"

"Something like that." Alyna tilted her head as she tried to clarify her thoughts. "They make me nervous. I suppose part of me expects the spirits of their distant ancestors to come screaming out of them to take revenge for what I did."

"I … see." She thought the analogy was a little dramatic, but even she had seen some strange things that the tauren had attributed to their ancestral spirits. She had decided years ago not to mess with such things.

She looked at Alyna for a long while before she came to a decision. She stood from the step and made her way back to her throne. "You will go to the tauren and apologise to the one you attacked as soon as she is able to see you."

"What?" Alyna looked up at her in shock.

But Sylvanas was not done.

"You will then tell them everything you have just told me."

Alyna leapt to her feet so fast that if she'd been living she would have immediately fainted.

"No!"

Sylvanas was in no mood for disobedience. "You will go to the tauren and explain yourself, or you will have plenty of time to contemplate your life, and death, in my dungeon. Your choice."

Alyna was shaking with her barely restrained fury, and some spark had finally returned to her eyes. While Sylvanas was relieved the woman was not pouring her partial-soul out on her floor anymore, she knew that an angry Alyna had its own challenges.

"I cannot have you walking around like a goblin's ticking bomb. If you don't confront your problems and move past them, you are useless to me." Sylvanas narrowed her eyes. "Do you understand?"

Alyna's reply came through gritted teeth. "Yes." Sylvanas stared at Alyna until she corrected herself. "Yes, my Lady."

She nodded. "Good. Then go present yourself to the tauren and do not leave until you have said your piece. Then you can return to your … mushrooms."

Alyna took her cue to leave, and did so abruptly.

Sylvanas momentarily wondered if she had just done the right thing. She then dismissed the notion. She then went to her office to see if she could finally put a piece or two on her map.