The weekend flew by quickly and Monday had arrived. I did my daily routine and drove to work with Sakura, it was a normal day, except that we were getting a case today.

I briskly walked into the building and in a minute, Sakura and I were in Ibiki's office, awaiting our boss to get back from the coffee machine so he could give us our deed. Sakura and I anxiously waited for him, and surely enough, the man arrived in 5 minutes.

"Here," he said , tossing Sakura a file. "Brigham City, some guy has been chopping people up, pretty straightforward," Ibiki said. He looked over to me, "You good?" I nodded, and inside, I was more than good.

Brigham City was only 1 hour away from Salt Lake City, which is where Itachi's old friend, Shisui, lived. He had to know where Itachi was, those two were really close, there was no way Itachi didn't tell Shisui where he was going.

"Let's go," I told Sakura before rushing out and almost running to my car.

"Wait up!" She yelled after me, but I wasn't going to sit around, I wanted to know, I needed to know. I sped off as soon as she got into the passenger seat, scaring her in the process. "Sasuke!" She scolded as I sped through the streets.

"Sorry," I muttered. I quickly parked my car and ran up to my apartment, leaving Sakura behind and confused. I grabbed some clothes and toiletries and threw them into a bag before rushing upstairs to Sakura's place and banging on the door repeatedly until she finally came out.

"What the hell?" She asked angrily when she opened the door.

"Sorry," I muttered before taking her hand and running back downstairs to my car.

"You know our flight leaves in 2 hours, right?" She explained. I groaned and uttered a few curses before slumping back into my seat. "So what's over there that you want so badly?"

I turned to her and looked at her for a second before saying, "I just really want to get away from all the paperwork and bombs."

"Bullshit," she uttered sternly. I didn't reply, I only stared out of the window to avoid her eyes, but this wasn't like all the other times, she wasn't letting it go. "Sasuke, like I said in Dallas, I won't force you to tell me anything you don't want to, but don't let whatever you're doing consume you, please," she begged. I turned my head so that I was looking her in the eye.

"How?"

"I don't know what's bothering you, but I know something happened to you, something that made you obsessed with finding killers and turned you into a hardened soldier of the law, at least, that's what you want to think you are. But you really just don't want what happened to you to happen to anyone else." I didn't answer her, I just looked straight ahead before driving off to the airport in silence, letting her know that I wasn't going to talk anymore.

I wanted to tell her, I wanted to so badly, but I couldn't, not because I was afraid of burdening her, but because I was a coward, more than anyone knew. Not even Naruto or Kakashi knew what I had done, what I had tried to do, no one did. Silence filled the car all the way to the airport and to our gate, where we both put on headphones and sat in silence, waiting for our flight to board. I decided to use the time wisely and get something done. I dialed Jugo's number and waited for him to pick up.

"Yeah?"

"Jugo, can you go down to the archives?"

"For?"

"Just do it."

"All right, I'm there."

"Get on a computer and pull up the phone records for people in Salt Lake City."

"Whoa, Sasuke, you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, done."

"Look up the name: Shisui Nakamura."

"Got it."

"And?"

"Number is 801-945-7834."

"Thanks." I hung up the phone and walked back to my seat to see Sakura staring at me suspiciously before turning her attention away. I ignored it and went back to my own phone and created a contact for Shisui so that I could call him when we got to Brigham City. The flight began boarding and Sakura got up and left without waiting for me, which I kind of had coming. I honestly didn't know what to tell her without revealing my past to her, and for some reason, I was beginning to think that maybe I should.

She was different, she was everything I wanted and more, and I refused to let myself have her because of my past, so if I told her could I have her? Maybe I was living in a pipe dream, but why couldn't I? Then again, someone like me has always been regarded as bad news for a girl. Even though the girls from back when I was in school wanted me, their parents always regarded me with distaste. I remember one father saying at on a school trip that I would just use his girl and throw her away when I was done. I wanted to say something, to say he was wrong, but looking back now, was he? I pretty much do that now.

I use people because I'm a failure of a human being. I have killed other murderers and not lost an ounce of sleep, because maybe a part of me enjoys it, maybe I have some bloodlust that's unquenchable. That's why I can't have her, that's why I have to revert to a pipe dream, because that's the only place where I can have happiness, or rather create the illusion of it. I dropped down onto my seat and looked over to Sakura, who was fiddling with her headphones and looking at her hands, like she was nervous.

I tentatively reached my own hand out and put it over hers. She looked up at me and I softened my face as best I could for her. "I'm sorry, Sakura, don't take it personally, no one really knows about what's happened to me," I explained, hoping that she would forgive me and speak to me again. "Sasuke, don't you think that's the problem?" "I've had a therapi-" I began. "Not what I meant. I mean you haven't talked to anyone who's actually cared about you." "I…" I trailed off, stumped by her words. "It doesn't have to be me, Sasuke, but you should tell someone who cares, believe it or not, there are people who care about you, including me." "I know," I whispered softly, letting her lay her head onto my shoulder before putting my head on hers. Whenever I was with her, sleep always came easily, and the nightmares always stopped, like they were acknowledging her as the person who makes me feel alive again. So when I quickly fell asleep to her cherry blossom scent, it didn't surprise me at all.

Brigham City was honestly one of the most beautiful cities I had ever been to. The towering skyscrapers were outlined by towering mountains behind them. It was like city meet countryside, and it was pretty, like really pretty.

Sakura and I quickly got our rental Ford, sometimes I wondered if they sponsored us, and drove to the police station, where they were already at work trying to find the killer. A short man came to greet us when we walked into the place.

"I'm Lieutenant Pulman, we already have a room set up for you two where you can gather evidence and view what we've collected so far." He led us through the station, which was pretty straightforward, kind of like the ones you see on TV.

Some offices littered the hallways, probably belonging to detectives and higher ranking members of the force, nothing unusual about that. The walls were accented with a beige color and occasionally we passed by some break rooms and desks where cops were working.

"It's nothing special, I hope you don't mind," Pulman said to us as he opened the door to our space. He was right, it was a small room with a clear board for writing and a couple of chairs. There was only one small window and the light wasn't exactly pouring through it, leaving us with a pretty dark and dreary workspace, but we didn't mind.

"It's ok Lieutenant, we'll be fine," Sakura reassured the man. He nodded and left us to our work. I took the file on the table that had been left for us and passed it to Sakura, who read it over carefully and started to write down notes onto the board. I took the opportunity to step out of the room and walk to a confined and quiet place where no one could hear anything I was about to say or do. I whipped out my phone and quickly dialed Shisui's number. Each ring was like a punch to the gut, weakening my resolve further and further, this whole thing was a stupid idea.

Until he picked up.

"Hello?" His voice sounded older than from back then, which made sense, but it still carried that cheerful youthfulness that Shisui always carried with him. He was always happy, and it made the people around him lighten up. "Hello? Who is this?" His voice echoed through the phone and into my ear.

I was frozen, I didn't know what to say other than, "Shisui?"

"Yes, who is this?" I took a deep breath and exhaled, this was going to be a little difficult.

"It's Sasuke Uchiha," I said weakly, hoping that he would believe me. I heard a gasp over the phone followed by a cough.

"Sasuke...how have you been?"

"I-I've been well, you?"

"I've been good," he replied. An awkward silence ensued for a couple of seconds before Shisui spoke up.

"This isn't a social call, is it?"

"No, afraid not." Another few seconds of silence before I broke it. "Can we meet, in person?"

"I live in Salt Lake City, Sasuke, that's far from Jacksonville."

"I know, I'm in Brigham City right now."

"Oh, um, well, then yeah. I'm not in town right now, but come by tomorrow morning and we can talk."

"Ok." I heard a click on the other end and hung up the phone.

That whole conversation was...odd, Shisui must've forgotten about me and what had happened, its been years, after all. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair before walking back to where Sakura was working on the case. I walked in and she looked at me briefly before returning to the board she was writing on.

"This guy is an amatuer, Sasuke, he's killed 2 girls but he's left accidental clues behind both times, one girl had skin under her nails, I'm giving them to forensics and running them." I nodded in response and looked at the board, but my attention was elsewhere, I was thinking about what to ask Shisui tomorrow and if there was even a chance he would tell me where Itachi was.

"How have these cops not found this guy?" Sakura said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"I don't know," I responded. She turned to me and raised an eyebrow, but I didn't think telling her about tomorrow would be such a good idea, she might try to stop me. "It's nothing," I told her before walking out of the room and the station.

I walked through the calm streets of Brigham City, the evening sky presenting me with a beautiful view. I knew there was a case to solve and that it should be my main priority, but Sakura seemed to have it under control, and I had other things to attend to. Still, that didn't stop the feeling of guilt to creep up on me and chastise me for leaving her all alone. I walked quietly, observing the people around me, who seemed happy and at peace with themselves, how I envied them. I saw happy people around me and couldn't help but curse myself for not letting myself be like them. I had tried so hard, but ultimately lost to my own mind.

All of the sudden the feeling of despair took over my body before it turned into rage. I could feel my vision turning red and clouding my mind. I punched a nearby wall, cracking it as well as cutting the skin on my knuckles. My vision returned back to normal and the only red I could see was my blood dripping down from my fingers and onto the concrete sidewalk. A normal person would've questioned what the hell just happened, but I wasn't normal. Sometimes, the suffering overcomes me, it overpowers me, and all I can see is red. However, I hadn't experienced anything like it since one of my last cases with Naruto, before I joined the FBI.

It was when we found a man who had burned 3 little girls and 4 little boys to ashes in a furnace. I remembered finding the ashes and chasing the man down into the forest. I remembered tackling him and beating him viciously. Naruto had tried to stop me, but I had shoved him back, and he had watched in horror as I pummeled the man. I punched him over and over before taking his head and bashing it into the tree multiple times. I remember his blood spilling over my face, making me look like the devil himself. I remembered picking the man up and slamming him to the ground multiple times. I remembered picking him up with one hand and lifting him off of his feet. He struggled for air, clawing at me to free himself, but I didn't let go, not until his body was limp and he was no longer alive. I remembered all too well turning around, my vision bloodred, and looking at Naruto, who was frozen in fear. I remembered the look on his face, the wide eyes, the open mouth, the shuddering breaths. He had later told me that my eyes glowed red in the night, pure red, the color of blood. I had never seen Naruto scared of anything until that night, I had frightened even my best friend, the person who would never leave me was afraid of what I was.

That's when I knew, I wasn't human, I was a monster.