"What?" I demanded.

"It's a beautiful Saturday, Sasuke," Kakashi greeted.

"Stop."

"What?"

"Naruto told you, didn't he?"

"I have no idea what you're referring to."

"It's too early for your bullshit."

"I wouldn't have had to call you with my bullshit if you stopped getting in your own way."

"We are not having this conversation."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm hanging up."

And that's exactly what I did, ignoring the follow up call from him, because I really didn't want to talk about this with anyone.

Holy shit I sounded like a teenager.

I tossed my phone aside and rubbed my temples for a good minute before showering and going through my regular morning routine.

Only, it wasn't regular.

She was on my mind the whole time, and yeah, I know that sounds creepy, but it was true. Even when I was sitting and eating cereal, all I could think about was her.

All I wanted was to enjoy my Wheaties in peace.

I ate while watching TV, trying my very hardest to just forget about her, I had promised myself that I would talk to her today, but I wasn't so sure anymore. Its one of my problems, I make easy things seem so much more difficult than they seem, and this is a perfect example. But I was done with the old me, I was a new person now, someone with hope, and a chance at happiness, so I'm going to go take it. I built up my resolve and my courage while finishing my wheaties and the random movie I was watching. I slipped into a t-shirt and shorts and went to the door, ready to do this, I was ready.

I opened the door, and there she stood, about to knock. She was wearing jeans and a shirt, looking flawless as ever. Her eyes went up to mine, and we held each other's gaze for a quick second.

I wasn't ready.

"Sorry to bother you, Sasuke," she said quietly, avoiding my gaze, sending waves of guilt through me.

"It's fine, what's up?" I asked. She raised her head, and for a brief second, I saw her smile.

"It's actually some good news, my parents called me this morning."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they said that they were sorry for how they acted and begged for my forgiveness."

"And?"

"I forgave them, and they said how happy they were that their daughter was back to them, we caught up a bit after that."

"Wow, um, I didn't think they would call so soon, but that's great news, Sakura."

"Yeah, I just wanted to tell you, that's it. See you!" She turned around and walked away, and I just stood there, motionless, like always. I closed the door to my apartment and stood there, completely still. I don't think there was a single murderer who scared me more than admitting how I felt to her, which may be a bit extreme, but also true. I clenched my fists, angry at myself for being such a coward, angry that I couldn't tell her.

All that rage channeled through me, and I took it out by grabbing a nearby glass and chucking it against the wall, shattering it into a hundred pieces.

I stood there for a second before regaining myself. I grabbed a broom and swept the glass up, eventually cleaning it all and throwing it out. Throwing the glass had done nothing to alleviate the frustration I was feeling at the moment, so it was really pointless. I sighed and laid down on my couch, feeling the hope slipping away slowly, and the only person to blame for that, was of course, me. All of these feelings made me feel like some lovestruck teenager, and I hated it, I hated that I felt this way, and yet, I couldn't stop myself from being like this. This was a chance, an opportunity, and I was squandering it. I got up and looked out my window, trying to see if the view of Jacksonville could occupy my thoughts, but all I saw was her disappointed face from last night. She had seemed so shy before when she had told me about her parents, she was never shy with me, not even when we met, not even after I had told her about my parents, not even when she saw my eyes turn crimson.

What if she had given up?

What if I had lost my chance?

No, I wouldn't allow it, so before I went up and told her everything, I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly while gazing outside at the at the morning sun. Usually, the brightness of it annoyed me, which is why I favored night to day, but right now, it didn't bother me a bit. I didn't take anything with me other then my phone and key when I left and slammed the door shut. I walked up the stairs, almost running as I made my way to her door. Suddenly, everything weighing me down, all the guilt, all the pain, it felt like it left my mind, I just felt light.

But when she opened the door and I saw her eyes slightly red and eyelids swollen, the guilt came back. She had been crying, for what, I didn't know, all I knew is that I had to be here.

"I'm ok, Sasuke, really," she began, but I wasn't going anywhere this time, not a chance in hell. I closed the door behind me and locked eyes with her for a brief second before she looked away.

"What happened?" I inquired.

"Nothing."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, I just ate something spicy."

"What was it?"

"A pepper."

"What kind?"

"None of your fucking business."

"Must've put you in a mood."

"I'm not in the mood for this, Sasuke."

"Then tell me what's wrong."

"Please just leave."

"Sakura-"

"LEAVE YOU ASSHOLE!" Anyone else would've been scared when she yelled like that, but all it did to me was confirm that something had really messed up her head. I stood there, rigid and unmoving as she breathed heavily and tears spilled from her eyes.

"Please...just leave," she said shakily before sitting down up against the wall with her head buried in her arms, kind of like what I did yesterday. I sat down next to her, wondering what to say since I didn't know what had gotten her so upset.

"Why won't you just leave?"

"I don't know, probably because I would look like an asshole," I said with a smirk. She looked up at me and cracked a half smile for a quick second, but I sensed an opportunity. "You gonna tell me now?" She had already looked away, I missed my chance.

Goddamn it.

"Sakura, please, don't be like me, don't keep it in like I did."

"I don't want your advice, Sasuke, you wouldn't understand my problem anyway, so just stop prying."

"So you're just going to keep quiet about it? After all that talk you gave me about being open and sharing?"

"You have no right to lecture me! You haven't even told me or anyone everything about you, have you? Not Kakashi, not Naruto, not anyone, so don't you dare try and give me advice." She tried to get up and walk away, but I caught her arm and pulled her back down so that she was looking me right in the eyes.

"You want to know everything? Fine, but if I share everything, you do too, that's fair."

"Sasuke...I'm not sure if I can." I grabbed her hands in my own and looked deep into her irises.

"You can."

She closed her eyes and nodded her head before tightening her grip on my hands.

"You go first," she whispered quietly, drawing a laugh from me.

"The years after my parents had died were obviously hard on me, but the hardest was my 17th birthday. I remember Kakashi teaching me how to drive a car, and after countless hours, I had gotten it down. Kakashi was always there for me when I needed him, I don't think I'll ever be a able to repay him for all that he's done for me. That being said, he filled the role of father for me, but there was no one to be a mother for me, and my brother was still hiding out somewhere because the authorities had thought he killed my parents. So while Kakashi did everything in his power to be everything a young boy needs, he still had to work as a cop. After he was promoted to head of the station about 2 months after my 17th birthday, he began coming home later and leaving earlier, the work was piling up for him. Before his promotion, he would always be home by 6, and we would always eat dinner together. We would tell each other about our day, I always looked forward to those conversations, they made me think of Kakashi as my new family, and up until he became the head of the police, I really did."

I paused for a second.

"He became my new family. But then he began coming home later, and we was always drained when he got back, sometimes, he looked like he was on his deathbed. I knew I was being selfish by expecting him to always put me ahead of everything, deep down I knew that, but-"

I took a shaky breath before continuing any further, after all, I was about to tell her something that no one else knew.

"It's ok, Sasuke, you don't have to go on," she told me, but I was determined to go through with this, no matter how hard it was.

"It felt...it felt like I had lost my family again. First, my parents and my brother, now Kakashi, it felt like I had lost 2 families before I was even 18, I didn't know what to think. I thought it was because no one needed me, that I was just a useless human who was supposed to die back then, but didn't. It hurt so much, Sakura," I took another breath before looking her straight in the eyes, "It hurt too much."

Her face was a mixture of confusion and sorrow, but I still wasn't done.

"I couldn't take it, so when I came across a small bridge about 30 feet above a lake one day, I decided that it would be it. I wrote four letters: one for Kakashi, one for Naruto, one for Naruto's parents, and one for my friends: Neji, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Hinata. I remember that day, it was a Thursday, and it was raining, I thought it was an omen. I remember going to school like normal, ignoring everyone except Naruto, but before I left, I told him that he meant a lot to me, that he was the best friend I could ask for. He was confused of course, that's kind of his thing. I walked home with the letters in my backpack, and I left them in my room, on my desk so that Kakashi could find them. I walked to that bridge where no one was, just me and the water. I remember looking to the sky and letting the rain fall onto my face and hair. I remember thinking of how I would never feel rain again. I remember thinking about everyone, my parents and Itachi, Naruto and his parents, Kakashi, I remember how sorry I felt for letting them down, that in the end, I was nothing but a coward that took his own life. I remember my phone ringing and Naruto's name flashing across my screen. I remember ignoring his call because If I answered him, I was afraid that I wouldn't go through with my plan. So I left my phone on the bridge and climbed up. Water was running down my face, but I couldn't tell if it was rain or my tears, or a mixture of both. I remember thinking of how cruel life had been to me, how it had taken my innocence from me when I was just 7 years old. Funny thing was, when I jumped, I was smiling a little because I was going to see my parents again. But when I hit the water and was letting myself drown, everyone flashed through my mind. Kushina cooking for me and making sure I had my vegetables, Minato ruffling my hair and hugging me after I made the game-winning touchdown in the state championship, Kakashi carrying me from the police station after my parents had been killed with a reassuring smile on his face, Naruto and I pulling off pranks at school and at the mall, I remembered it all. I realized then that I didn't want to die, I still had things to do in this life, I still had people who would always be there for me. So I swam up and gasped for air once I broke the surface, I remember feeling so relieved when I realized I wasn't dead. I swam to the land and ran up the terrain so I was back on the bridge. I had grabbed my phone and ran home as fast as I could. I remember going into my room and collapsing in tears. I heard Kakashi come home and call my name a couple of times before walking into my room and finding me in that state. He never asked what had happened, or why I was soaking wet, he just hugged me and rubbed my back as I cried onto his shoulder until I couldn't anymore. He stayed in my room until I had fallen asleep, only then did he leave. I never tried to kill myself again after that, I never even thought about it, but I still felt like something was missing ever since then, but I think I've found what's been missing."

I was out of breath from how much I had said, so I stayed quiet and looked at her. Her eyes were wide and tears were spilling out of them. Her mouth was slightly agape at my revelation, I might've told her too much in too little time.

"It's your turn, Sakura, you better not break your promise," I teased.

"What the hell! My problem wasn't that depressing!"

"Sorry."

"Ok, fine, a promise is a promise." She took a deep breath and looked my in the eyes like I had done to her.

"Ok, I really don't know how the hell I'm supposed to do this, to be honest, I'm kind of freaking out right now, Sasuke."

"That's why I'm here."

"No, you don't understand, that's why I wanted you to leave so badly, oh my god this is going to be so weird."

"Sakura?"

"I can't do it!"

"What's wrong?"

"Sasuke, I can't! I'm freaking out!" She really was. She had gotten up and started walking around the apartment like a true madwoman, which was kind of scaring me.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," she started saying, was I witnessing someone go crazy? I had enough of this mindless uttering and whatever the fuck else you can call it, so I got up and grabbed her by the shoulders, stopping her chanting and walking around.

"Sakura, what the hell is wrong?!"

"YOU!"