ONE CLICK AWAY
Previously:
"Oh, why the hell not," Brienne sighed and pressed the return key on her keyboard. Her friends Sansa and Margaery squealed but Brienne could not and would not share even the smallest level of their excitement. She, after all, had tried to convince her friends that online dating - dating! - would be an absolute waste of everyone's time. Especially on a site which didn't even require a picture. Which men would possibly stumble across her page? There wouldn't be any, right? Right? RIGHT?
'Now, how do I find the profile views,' Brienne thought as she took in the entire website, analytically scanning for clues. She didn't have to look extensively as there appeared to be a little counter right below the place where other dating sites would have a profile picture.
"Seventeen visits', Brienne thought, 'that's more than I thought.'
The little envelope next to her user name, however, didn't look as if anyone had written a message. Still, Brienne had the mouse hover over the icon for a longer period than she would normally allow herself before sighing, closing the laptop and slipping deeper under her covers. That could wait, after all, why should anyone be intrigued by her?
Margaery found her forty-five minutes later, lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, a tissue box sitting on the comforter next to Brienne's right thigh. She had not needed any tissues for the tears simply would not come.
She couldn't.
They would not come.
Brienne wondered whether she had dried up from all the crying about insults, about pathetic men that had insulted and mocked her, about how much she felt hindered and unloved in life. Men such as Hyle Hunt had continuously given her the impression that she could not be loved. When a man like Jamie Lannister seemed to be appalled by her appearance, it normally didn't bother her. This time, with this particular man, it had created a chain reaction within her, shock, hurt, embarrassment, despair, fear.
What was it about Jamie Lannister that she could not ignore? Why did it hurt so much? Most of all, she wondered, why were the tears not coming?
"Hey," Margaery said softly, the right side of her petite body pressed snugly into the doorframe.
"Hey," Brienne replied and slowly sat back against the headboard of her bed.
"You ok?"
"I don't really know if I am honest," Brienne replied, realizing that this, indeed, was the case. She did not know whether or not she was ok, didn't know what to feel and how to make sense of the last few social outings. First, there was the night in which an unknown admirer had covered their entire bill, then there were two occasions in which they had frequented the same place than King's Landing's, if not Westeros', most eligible bachelor - one which all had gone terribly wrong without Brienne understanding what she had done to deserve the negative attention, the stares, the overall weirdness, the other which could not go wrong simply for the reason that Brienne had fled the gallery.
Mockery.
No. Enough.
"You wanna hang out in the living room, maybe watch a movie? Should I call Sansa?"
Brienne nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, let's do that. And you know what? Let's get the show on the road and set up that account. Gambling debts are debts of honor, after all, eh?
Happy that Brienne, for whatever reason, didn't seem to be too upset about what had transpired earlier (Margaery didn't dare to ask about any details with Brienne being in a relatively good mood), Margaery let out a squeal that entered even the farthest corners of her apartment, her giddiness amplified by an excited clapping of her hands.
"Oh Brienne, it's gonna be so epic, just you wait!"
Jamie had created his profile and was absentmindedly browsing the website, wondering why he had bothered selecting a dating service that specifically stated there would not be any profile pictures required to sign up.
'What's the point?' Jamie thought, leaving yet another characterless profile page.
"Golden Dragon for your thoughts?" a voice interrupted Jamie's thoughts and when he looked up, he saw his little brother standing in the doorframe, holding two glasses filled with amber liquid Jamie suspected was a very expensive whiskey from Tyrion's collection of alcoholic beverages.
"I don't get it," Jamie said, receiving one of the glasses and breathing in the aroma of its contents, "do people really fall in love on dating sites?"
"Well, since you are bringing this particular topic up," Tyrion quipped and sat down opposite his brother on a small brown leather couch, "let me ask you again, how your internet dating is going..."
Jamie decided not to be annoyed with his little brother, despite a sudden wave of anger bubbling up inside of him. After all, he himself had brought it up.
"See? This website, for instance, you don't put pictures, right? How can people tell if they're attracted if there is no photo to make sure?"
"Have you never been attracted to someone that didn't fit the supermodel type? Ah, of course not," Tyrion sighed.
"Tyrion..." Jamie said, suddenly realizing, once again, what an utter jerk he was. His brother, of all people he knows, did not fit the general norm, didn't fit the standard, didn't attract too many impressed looks from the other sex.
He, though, did, and Jamie felt the wave of anger ebb and a fresh wave of guilt flow through his veins, rendering him speechless for a moment.
"It's alright, Jamie. I am used to women falling at your feet, you can't help it, they just do. It's your goddamn looks, I know you are flattered but I also know that most of these women are pretty shallow in most instances and once you look past their beauty they show their true colors. I know how attractive it can be to be the oldest son of Tywin Lannister, the person that will ultimately own an empire. I've seen people lie their way into the hearts of others just to gain access to money, fame and wealth. That is not you, though, right? If you fall in love you want it to be real. So ... do you really not see the reason for that website's no picture policy?"
Well. Now he did.
A good hour later after his brother had retreated to his room and Jamie was alone again, he could not stop thinking about what they had discussed. Ultimately, he had learned that not sharing a picture was yet another safety net, another way to control the information you put out there about yourself and your life. What he had considered cowardice, he learned, was mere chariness. What he considered difficult, was merely a different approach to meet people in a way that wasn't shallow or just based on physical attributes. Instead, this might actually be a good approach for him of all people, as the name Lannister alone would ...
'It would not work,' Jamie suddenly realized, 'I'd be back to square one. Just as in real life, women would do anything to impress me instead of being who they are.'
Maybe this could work. Maybe people fell in love like this. Maybe he was done being shallow (because let's face it, he was).
A profile caught his eye. Rather, something on a profile caught his eye.
Did this woman really put 'swords' in the hobbies section of her profile? Yes, yes she did.
"Knightsblue," the breath that Jamie was holding without realizing, went out with a puff creating sounds that formed the name. His index finger hovered on the 'message' button of the profile for a second before he tapped the finger down on the trackpad of his laptop.
'Ah, what gives...'
Golden_Phoenix: 'Hi, Knightsblue. I saw you've put 'swords' into your hobbies section. That's very intriguing, as I do fencing for exercise.'
Jamie was not sure how to finish up that first message. What should he say? Hope you have a good day? Cheers? XOXO, gossip girl?
Golden_Phoenix: "Hope you're having a good night. I am winding down with a second glass of whiskey."
Brienne's head snapped up. Sleep wouldn't come tonight as thoughts swirled around in her brain and not even reading the book she hard started weeks ago and had found interesting could help and tire her.
When her phone buzzed at 111:21 pm it was a noise she didn't expect and it startled her. Sitting up a little bit straighter, she reached for her phone and saw that the dating app had a notification pop up on her phone screen.
YOU'VE GOT A NEW MESSAGE
Brienne's eyes widened in surprise but she could feel a little delight bubbling up inside of her. Someone had gone onto her profile and had decided to contact her, even if it were just to say 'hello', it was more than she had expected.
Reaching down to grab her laptop and flip it open, Brienne felt her heart quicken its pace. Maybe he was still online when she responded.
Golden_Phoenix: Hi, Knightsblue. I saw you've put 'swords' into your hobbies section. That's very intriguing, as I do fencing for exercise. Hope you're having a good night. I am winding down with a second glass of whiskey."
Knightsblue: Hi Golden_Phoenix. Thank for taking the time to drop in and say 'hi'! I know the hobby is not likely one you'd find in most women's profile but I like swords and I like sword-fighting. A second glass of whiskey is quite brave, I'd be pretty drunk already. Anyway, I hope the winding down part is going great and you're having a good night!
Just as Brienne hit 'send' the icon next to the username went from yellow (which must have meant 'idle' or something) to a bright green. 'Does this mean he's online?' Brienne waited and like three little dots in a speech bubble appeared beneath her message she learned that, indeed, Golden_Phoenix was online and typing away.
Golden_Phoenix: Swords are an unusual hobby, I give you this much. Normally, I don't drink as much whiskey but this one is really good, a very good Single Malt with rich flavors. If you're not used to drinking it, I reckon, you'd be drunk pretty soon. So you should get used to it first. Any embarrassing behavior you're showing when drunk? Better tell me now, maybe that'll break the charm.
Knightsblue: Charm? I don't believe in casting spells, I am more of a realist type.
Golden_Phoenix: Ah, generally me, too.
Knightsblue: Why are you awake, anyway? And don't say 'the profiles on here kept me up, they're so interesting, especially yours' because that would be bullshit.
Golden_Phoenix: I've had an interesting day that I am reflecting on. Usually, I would not have allowed myself a second glass of whiskey but tonight was an occasion for it. Plus, I just heard today that I might finally be able to overcome an injury. So, a mixed bag of things, some good, some not as good. You?
Knightsblue: Oh, my day has been interesting, too. I've had some interesting few weeks, actually. My friends have insisted I go out more and we have and it's a little overwhelming. I had to hit the brakes today, was just reading a little bit to get tired when your message popped up.
Golden_Phoenix: Am I interrupting you? I really do have impeccable timing.
Knightsblue: Don't worry, it wasn't working anyway. I was trying to read so I'd eventually be tired but my brain wasn't feeling it...
Golden_Phoenix: Oh good, I don't wanna disturb you. Is chatting helping?
Knightsblue: A little, actually. So far, so good.
Golden_Phoenix: Well, this might take a turn for the worse but I'd love to know what happens when you're drunk.
Knightsblue: ...
Golden_Phoenix: Come on, it can't be worse than me. One time during university summer festivities I allegedly impersonated all kinds of animals, so ... it can't be much worse, can it?
Knightsblue: It really can't. Thanks for the laugh. I needed it today.
Golden_Phoenix: My pleasure.
Knightsblue: Maybe I'll tell you someday.
Golden_Phoenix: And what would I have to do for it?
Knightsblue: I don't know ... win a duel?
Golden_Phoenix: Swordfight? I'm in!
Knightsblue: You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into, old man!
Golden_Phoenix: Old man? How dare you! :-D
Knightsblue: Your profile says you're 37. That's ... older than me at least. So, yes, I stand by what I said. Old.
Golden_Phoenix: Rude.
Knightsblue: Ha Ha!
Brienne yawned. It had gotten quite late and despite this conversation being as interesting and entertaining as it was, she was glad to finally feel the exhaustion of the day - the last weeks, really.
Knightsblue: It was nice chatting. Let's do it again, some time. I'm getting tired, finally. Hope that's ok?
Golden_Phoenix: How can it not? Hope you sleep well and I hope to catch you again, soon.
Knightsblue: I've just installed the app today, so there's a chance I'll see a notification pop up?
Golden_Phoenix: You should have your phone on vibrate.
Knightsblue: ...
Golden_Phoenix: Haha! Sorry, I've had to behave all day, it's wearing off.
Knightsblue: Goodnight.
Golden_Phoenix: Goodnight.
That night Brienne didn't dream of dark shadows, screams, and despair.
That night her dreams were bright and golden.