ONE CLICK AWAY
Golden_Phoenix: You still up?
Brienne exhaled sharply. There he was, he came online just as she had resorted to reading a book and ignoring this man for the night. Snuggled up with an autobiography and a hot chamomile tea, in her silken dark blue pajamas and accompanying - yet not even matching in the slightest - very pink fluffy socks, for an outside observer Brienne must look like the paradigm of an old cat lady.
She chuckled.
She decided that it could be a perfect answer.
Knightsblue: Oh you know, I am the literal paradigm of an old cat lady, so snuggled up in my bed, all comfy cozy, tea right next to me, book in hand, warm fluffy socks and a thick comforter. Awake, yes. Is it an old cat lady - Saturday? Most definitely.
Golden_Phoenix: Oh, if I am disturbing your cat lady slumber party for one (I am assuming you don't actually own a cat?) we can always talk at a later time?
Knightsblue: I am offended.
Golden_Phoenix: ?
Knightsblue: You said you found my profile intriguing, yet, I now have proof you've not even read it correctly. Pathetic, pathetic. Why am I even talking to you? ;-)
Golden_Phoenix: I didn't know your aversion to cats was rooted that deeply. I, too, like dogs a lot more, if you must know.
Knightsblue: Well, that's a relief.
Golden_Phoenix: Just that?
Knightsblue: Well, so far you don't seem to qualify for a serial killer so I should say we're good to go. In terms of chatting tonight, that is.
Golden_Phoenix: There I was, thinking for a split second: Hey, she wants a date.
Brienne's eyes widened.
When it came to situations that left her speechless, Brienne could name quite a few. There was that one time during high school she had to give a presentation in front of the entire class and got so nervous, not even a sound left her mouth. After trying her hardest, her teacher had the realization to convert an oral presentation into an essay which Brienne - no surprises there - aced a few days later.
Fractions of seconds passed and Brienne's mind was occupied by a myriad of thoughts, examples of her own insecurity, examples of people mocking her, examples of things she had to endure from the boys at her local high school to her current boss, Petyr Baelish, who for some reason found her to be likable but an easy target at the same time.
She swallowed, her breathing coming in raggedly.
If a simple suggestion by a stranger on the dating platform could get her so worked up, maybe this all wasn't such a good idea? Maybe she should just accept that she'd really end up an old cat lady.
Golden_Phoenix: You still there? Knightsblue? Did I say something to offend you?
Knightsblue: No, it's ok. I know you were just joking. It's all good!
Golden_Phoenix: Is it, though?
Was it?
Was it really?
Knightsblue: It's ok, it really is. Don't worry about me, it's not often that somebody insinuates that I could actually successfully ask someone out, let alone someone like you.
Golden_Phoenix: What is that supposed to mean?
Knightsblue: We've already established that you're handsome...
Golden_Phoenix: YOU've established that - I never said such a thing! :-D
Knightsblue: That smiley is totally giving you away! You are handsome!
Golden_Phoenix: Well, ... what if I were? What would that change?
Knightsblue: For me? Everything.
Golden_Phoenix: And why is that?
Knightsblue: Come on, we've established that. I already told you that I was ugly.
Golden_Phoenix: And I said I didn't think that could be the case. Now, if you had actually insinuated that we should go on a date, I would have happily accepted.
Brienne shook her head slowly.
He could not be meaning that. He could not possibly wanna do this.
Knightsblue: You can't want that.
Golden_Phoenix: I have a proposal for you.
Knightsblue: I am listening.
Golden_Phoenix: How about we start off by telling each other one thing that we haven't shared with anyone else ever before. If we feel comfortable doing this, it might help to see how far we wanna take this. Just a suggestion. You're free to leave this chat now and never come back. I'd be sad but I'd have to accept it. It's your call.
Knightsblue: This is intriguing. So if I asked you whether or not you were a serial killer, you'd answer truthfully?
Golden_Phoenix: I never said anything about questions!
Knightsblue: I am adding them!
Golden_Phoenix: One each, the same as for those lesser-known facts. No cheating.
Knightsblue: How am I supposed to cheat?
Golden_Phoenix: I'll know if you're lying.
Knightsblue: No you won't.
Golden_Phoenix: Try me.
Oh, ... daring. Brienne had thought about leaving this conversation and essentially ending this - whatever this was - when he suggested meeting but this could potentially be fun.
Knightsblue: You wanna go first?
Golden_Phoenix: I would have been a gentlemen, but if you insist. Ok. Here goes: I have a little brother and I envy his carefree nature. Whatever life has thrown at him, he's remained positive, attentive and welcoming. If I had been through what he's been through, I don't know if I were to have been able to do this the way he has. Emotional scars and all, he's overcome everything and to me, he lives the way I want to live my life. I do envy him quite a lot but I never told him. Also, he's the funniest guy I know.
Phew.
Phew.
Phew.
'So ... he has a brother,' Brienne immediately deducted from this statement, a younger brother in fact. Someone he, despite the circumstances they were living in, respected and admired.
Knightsblue: He sounds like a wonderful person.
Golden_Phoenix: He is. Next, I see him, I'll be sure to actually tell him that. It felt good to admit it. Thank you.
Knightsblue: You don't have to thank me, you chose this of the potential facts about you. It is obviously very important to you.
Golden_Phoenix: It sure is. You're up.
Knightsblue: Phew, that's a hard one. There are quite a few to choose from.
Golden_Phoenix: Take your time. I am not going anywhere.
Knightsblue: That's good to know. Honestly. I guess the main thing I've told people, but the nasty details I haven't even told my best friends. I've already told you that I am by no standard a beauty and that is definitely true. I was subject to ridicule during my time in high school and it got so bad that I had full weeks in which I would not leave the bed and wouldn't be able to go to school and face the people that didn't let me forget that I wasn't fitting a template of what they'd call an ideal classmate or more broadly speaking, an ideal girl. I was a nosy know it all, that hasn't changed to this day because that's who I am, I like to know things and I like to be right. I guess that's another fact about me that don't admit to people very often, if you wanna count that, too. During my time in high school some of the boys thought it would be funny to try to come up with a bet that involved several stages. They wanted to see who could get me to go out with one of them, the wanted to see who could get me to kiss one of them and the grand prize was for letting me believe one of them cared enough about me that I would go to bed with them. I only figured it out when his pants were almost down his ankles and the others were on the other side of the door, wolf-whistling and ruining his game. I was mortified. My father immediately chose another school for me to transfer to, he never asked for any details. That I am grateful for. It would have broken his heart.
Golden_Phoenix: I would have broken their noses.
Knightsblue: No you would not have. Let's face it, when you're beautiful and popular, you get away with these things and you feel like it is no big deal, look, I get it, being popular, desirable and beautiful has its disadvantages, too. I would not be able to stand the constant limelight, trust me. It doesn't make what they did less harsh or less disgusting, but here we are.
Golden_Phoenix: I am so sorry that's happened to you. I am grateful that you chose to tell me. I appreciate your honesty. I can't imagine how you must have felt and I can't imagine what it is like now ... sharing this with me. Are you ok?
Brienne wiped a single tear from her left cheek and smiled. She was ok. Somehow it felt completely right to tell him and she felt at ease. It was some sort of therapeutic release and even if this all lead nowhere, Brienne knew that opening up like this and reliving these moments without the heartbreak and with less and less pain involved would be beneficial for her eventually. She could feel a huge weight lifted off her shoulders the longer she stared at his last question.
Are you ok?
Knightsblue: Yes, surprisingly so. Thank you for listening. That means a lot.
Golden_Phoenix: Any day :-D - I am glad you're ok.
Knightsblue: Can I ask a question now?
Golden_Phoenix: I am not a serial killer.
Knightsblue: That's not it.
Golden_Phoenix: :-D Had to ... go ahead, then!
Knightsblue: Do you really find sword fighting sexy?
Golden_Phoenix: Easy. HELL YEAH. The precision, the elaborate dance, the anticipation of the next move of your opponent. Exhilarating! Also hella sexy.
Knightsblue: :-))
Golden_Phoenix: My turn?
Knightsblue: Ok!
Golden_Phoenix: Would you wanna meet me but not meet me?
Brienne's heart started racing again. What did he mean?
Golden_Phoenix: We could both be at a crowded restaurant, one that is so occupied all the time that we would not know who we were else we disclosed it. We'd be in the same room, we might even sit close by but we could chat. And if we're comfortable finding out, we find out.
Knightsblue: We've been chatting for two days, are you sure?
Golden_Phoenix: Is that weird?
Knightsblue: Kinda?
Golden_Phoenix: I know. You see, my real-life relationships don't ever go anywhere. I didn't even know what to look for, what to do and how to do things. This is a completely new approach to any of this. I have no idea how this is gonna go. I try to be as courteous as can be, I promise. If you don't wanna tell me it's you, you don't ... so many people are on their phones, I don't think we'd be the only ones. You don't have to come alone, you know? You could bring one of your friends, just to be sure. Whatever you feel comfortable with. I don't wanna push you. You decide.
You decide.
For one reckless moment, Brienne considered it.
Chickened out.
Considered it again.
Got frightened.
Considered it again.
Broke into a furious sweat.
But considered it.
Knightsblue: This is crazy and I've never done anything this ...
Golden_Phoenix: Strange?
Knightsblue: I was going to type 'reckless' but strange is also fitting.
Golden_Phoenix: I would totally understand if that's too much to ask, honestly. Forget that I brought it up. It's too much.
Knightsblue: I'm bringing my friend. And I don't have to tell you who I am or that I am even there. That's it, that's my offer.
Golden_Phoenix: You have no idea how happy that just made me. I am this emoji: :-D
Knightsblue: The limitation on the emoji expressions that can be used in this chat on this dating app is seriously starting to insult me.
Golden_Phoenix: You don't believe me?
Knightsblue: Oh, trust me, I can feel your enthusiasm through my phone.
Golden_Phoenix: Oh good. So ... when do we do this?
Knightsblue: I'm gonna be out of town very soon, work-related trip, but how about Saturday, two weeks from now? That gives us time ... to chat a little, see if we still wanna do this and if we do, we do it.
Golden_Phoenix: Did I tell you that I am not the most patient man out there?
Knightsblue: Not explicitly. I got the idea, though.
Golden_Phoenix: Cruel.
Knightsblue: Attentive. Big difference, old man.
Golden_Phoenix: And we're back at the insults. Lovely. :-D
Knightsblue: Come on, I am just teasing!
Golden_Phoenix: Never said I did not like it, did I?
Sansa's shriek had their waitress almost drop two coffees onto their table when Brienne told her friend on their way to the outer edges of the Stormlands for business purposes. Sansa tagged along on miles, dying to know the outskirts of the Stormlands and spending some time with her friend without the omnipresent and very all-encompassing Margaery Tyrell was something Brienne desperately needed. She hadn't anticipated the shrill shriek of excitement and panic that Sansa let out once she told her that she would be seeing mystery man in roughly one and a half weeks.
"I can't believe you agreed to that!" Sansa said and profoundly apologized to the waitress in the airport restaurant for her loud noise.
"I can't either, but here we are," Brienne admitted, putting one packet of sugar and two servings of cream into her coffee, rapidly stirring the contents of the mug together to blend into something she'd be able to drink without the harsh taste of black coffee overpowering her senses.
Sansa opened the gossip magazine she had picked up from one of the airport vendors.
"Look, Tyrion didn't promise too much. It's not the front page, but she has a full double-page full of her most scandalous moments," Sansa grinned, pointing at Cersei Baratheon's face, fully blown up to fit half a page on the tabloid's 'who has gone nuts this time' section.
"Looks like Jaime really upped his security equipment," Brienne said, taking a sip from her big white coffee mug.
"Sure thing," Sansa grinned, reading through the comments, "looks like there's a full-blown meltdown going on. It says they have the video on their website, too."
"Oh wow," Brienne said, not knowing what else to add to this but Sansa had already retrieved her phone. Apparently, they were going to check out the video of Cersei Baratheon in its full glory.
"I am not letting you off the hook in regards to your date, missy," Sansa grinned, "but gossip first. I mean, we kinda knew that it would be happening. I feel like I am an insider. Margaery gets to know so many things beforehand, I am jealous sometimes, not gonna lie. Being a Stark, I don't get too many invitations, she's always front and center. I don't like it that much, though, so it's ok. Ah, here it is!"
Sansa clicked the video. From Brienne's angle, she could not fully see the video screen but she saw what appeared to be a very nicely decorated and luxurious room that looked like office space, but more personal. Somehow she knew it had to be Jaime's.
'Stop it Brienne, focus!' she scolded herself and tried to pay attention.
She listened to Jaime telling Cersei how he had found out that the three children she had pretended were his, in fact, weren't. Brienne could tell from the way that he was talking that he was deeply hurt and troubled by it. Next up was Jaime explaining how he had felt inadequate as if he had done something wrong, as if he deserved this.
Brienne shook her head intently. No one deserved to be deceived like this, no one.
No one.
They listened as Cersei incredulously asked Jaime whether he was serious.
How she insulted Jaime's brother.
Like I would ever listen to anything you say.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Whatever life has thrown at him, he's remained positive, attentive and welcoming.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh no.
Also, he's the funniest guy I know.
Brienne's pale complexion became even paler to the point that it turned slightly unhealthy. No. That could not ... this had to be a total coincidence. It could not be ...
"Bri? What's the matter?"
"I ... I just ... I think ... never mind."
"I certainly mind, you're as white as Lady Stoneheart, the ghost that allegedly haunts the Great Hall of Winterfell. Are you really ok?"
"I will be fine, Sansa, it's nothing. Really. It's ok."
Sansa looked at her, unsure whether to believe her half-assed lie but decided to let it go.
"Oh look, there's another video!"
This shorter video featured Tyrion and Jaime, each a whiskey in hand, sitting in the same room.
"You sent her away," Tyrion's voice could be heard.
"I did."
"Whoa?"
"I know."
"What happened?"
"I've known I was done with Cersei for longer than I thought, even before I figured out she was cheating before I knew about Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen. I just had no idea I wanted something else, someone else maybe, even though I had no idea what exactly I was looking for, I started looking. As we both know, our family name has advantages but also disadvantages, especially when we wanna date."
With that, a very blonde and very curvey reporter from the tabloid appeared: "So Ladies and Gentlemen, it looks like one of Westeros' most eligible bachelors has finally decided he wants to date. So buckle up, friends, it's gonna be a hot rest of the year with Jaime Lannister officially on the market!"
I started looking.
Oh.
What.
The.
Hell.