I wake up and find myself looking around nervously, breathing a little heavily.

"Bad dream, Nyx?"

I calm myself down. "Yeah, but based on memory."

"I get those too." He sits beside me. "It happens when you've been dead."

I huff. "Geez, you're so casual about it. I totally have the song for you though."

I grab my iPod and play Like a Storm's Six Feet Under*.

He grins once it's finished. "That was pretty fucking awesome, little sis."

God, I love being called that. Knowing that I'm a sister and the warm feeling that comes with it.

"No problem, big bro."

He looks at me. "That's the first time you've called me that. Not that I'm complaining but, Nyx, what took you so long?"

I breathe out slowly. "Fear, I guess. I never really felt I had a family. Maybe it's a thing when you're a foster. Never really feeling like it's something you can call your own. I know I have one now but I guess it hasn't really set in yet." I don't say it feels too good to be true even though, to be honest, it kinda does.

"Well, Nyx, your new family isn't temporary."

I throw my hands up in the air, feeling somewhat exasperated. "I know that!"

"But part of you's still unconvinced?"

I don't say a word, I just nod then get up to get dressed.

A few minutes later, I come back wearing my Three Days Grace T-shirt and black jeans. I did consider wearing my Linkin Park T-shirt but just looking at it kinda bums me out because, damn it, I miss Chester.

When I come back, Jason gets up. "I bet you listened to Home a lot of fucking times."

I laugh. "Yeah, I have it memorized."

I don't say I kept the Pierces from knowing I listened to bands like Three Days Grace. Yes, I rebelled through music too.

God, they had so many fucking rules.

I did say they were controlling shits. Enough that another song I have memorized is Shinedown's I'm Not Alright.

"Were you the Pierce's only foster?"

"I've spent 12 years of my life as an only child. Prolly why family feels like a foreign concept to me. I mean, I knew what it was, it just kinds eluded me. Hell, I felt it practically fucking excluded me! Now, I have one to call my own and..."

I shrug my shoulders. "Guess it just feels like something that I need to get used to. I mean, going from being an only child to having 3 brothers and a sister feels, to be honest, fucking crazy! It almost feels like it's someone else's life or some reality show."

Jay-Todd shoves me lightly. "Well, Nyx, this is your regularly scheduled programming. I'll keep you posted if it cuts to commercial."

I roll my eyes. "So nice of you."

I hate advertisements. I especially hated commercials with happy families. I used to like them but, as I got older, I began to feel like they were mocking me. Teasing me with what I didn't and wasn't sure I'd ever have. But enough of that.

"Jay-Todd, what did you mean you've been dead?"

He curses under his breath. "That's not a good story, Nyx. How about we go to the library and you can get some good ones?"

"If it's not a good story, why did you mention it in the first place?"

His eyes darken."It's not important, Nyx."

His tone makes me decide to drop it. "Shit happened but you're here now. Like me."

He smiles. "Yeah, like you. So you want to go?"

My eyes brighten at the idea. "Sure."

After I grab my hoodie and tie it around my waist, we're on our way.

When we arrive, I curse. "I forgot to bring a book bag."

He laughs. "I'll help you with carrying some. Just don't get too many."

"Too many being more than both of us can carry."

"Yes."

Soon, I'm registering for a library card. Got to say it feels good seeing my new name on it.

I get Cornelia Funke's Inkheart trilogy, O.R Melling's Chronicles of Faerie, and the Lunar Chronicles including Fairest, Stars Above and the two graphic novels. I felt like a fantasy binge so I fucking went for a fifteen book one. Feels good.

Now all I have to do is fight the urge to port to Jay-Todd's...I mean home.

That place is home now.

Not because of where it is, but because of who I share it with.

Jason. One of my three big brothers.

*Definitely worth looking up as Angel with a Shotgun is, shall we say, fucking overused.