I'm gonna warn you that this chapter gets a bit sad. Sorry about that.
The night of Loki's death, Astrid had trouble sleeping. Her tears had stopped because she no longer had anything left to cry. After the news, Astrid holed herself up in her bedroom, sobbing into her sheets. Her mother had stopped by to see how she was doing, her voice soft and soothing, but Astrid could see the toll it had taken on her as well. Her eyes were red and sometimes, she would stare off into nothing, with such a sad look in her eyes.
After Frigga left her alone, Astrid tried to fall asleep. Her body ached and she was so tired, but sleep did not come from a long time. When she finally did fall asleep, it was restless and did not last long. Astrid woke up screaming. She found herself covered in sweat and breathing heavily, fresh tears streaming down her face.
It was the same nightmare she always had, but this time, it was slightly different. As Loki lay dying from the blade of a Frost Giant with Astrid at his side, he looked up at her with contempt and hatred.
"You could have done more. Why didn't you do more? You're useless Astrid. What kind of a sister are you?" he spat at her as his blood run onto her hands.
"I'm sorry! Please! I'm sorry, Loki! Don't do this!" Astrid begged, but as Loki died on the floor in front of her, the last look in his eyes was that of pure hatred.
Astrid did what she could to save him, but she was powerless to save him once again. As she lay sobbing over his body, crying out for him, she finally woke up, letting out a loud cry.
She sighed and covered her face in her hands and looked up at the door. Surely Loki would have been here by now. He always came quickly. Sometimes, it seemed as if he was standing outside her door, guarding her, waiting for her screams to reach his ears.
She sat for a bit longer, before a sob broke through her chest as she remembered the horrible truth. Loki was dead. He wouldn't be coming to hug her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. Nothing would ever be okay again.
Astrid sighed and tried to control her breathing, when the door opened.
She looked up, her heart stopping in her chest for a moment, expecting Loki to come through the door, but saw her mother instead. She tried to contain her disappointment.
She sighed and lay back down, trying to hide her tears from her mother. Frigga went to her side and smoothed her hair down soothingly.
"I'm okay mother. Really. You didn't have to come." Astrid insisted softly.
"I did have to come. Since…." Frigga broke off, but she didn't need to continue. Astrid knew what she was going to say. Astrid closed her eyes, fighting off the fresh waves of tears that threatened to run down her cheeks.
"I'm okay mother. Just tired." She said, curling up into her sheets again, more for a show for her mother that she was okay. Besides, they had already sat together and cried for hours earlier. She did not need to see her mother to see her like that again.
Frigga kissed her head, whispering a soft "I love you", and left, leaving Astrid to grieve on her own.
During the time that passed, Astrid put all her efforts into training. She trained all day, mostly with Sif, but even the Warriors Three helped her this time. Her skills improved with their help. During the evenings, Thor would train with her, knowing that this was how she coped with Loki's death.
With her free time, she spent time reading books about magic, slowly training herself some simple magic. At times, she would ask her mother's help with something, seeing as she had trained Loki, but mostly, she learned it on her own. Her skills were far from good, even farther from what Loki could do, but it helped her keep a piece of him close to her.
This is how Astrid spent a year of her life, constantly training to distract herself from the pain that she felt every day. The times after she would awaken, when her eyes were still heavy from sleep were the best times because in those few seconds, she would forget what had happened. In those moments, she was free from pain, but it always came crashing back down on her.
One morning, after Astrid had gotten up early to train before the sun had risen, she was called to see her father, as was Thor.
She walked alongside her brother and when she entered the Throne Room, she saw her father and Heimdall standing there waiting for them.
She wondered what he was doing there, but stayed silent, waiting for her father to speak.
They stopped in front of Odin both bowed their heads slightly. Then, he spoke. "You both must go to Midgard."
Confusion washed through Astrid as Thor immediately spoke, "But how? The Bifrost is destroyed."
"Dark energy. I will be able to use enough to get you there. You will come back with the Tesseract." Odin replied.
"But I thought the Tesseract was stolen ages ago." Astrid interrupted.
"It was. You are going to retrieve it, and stop the one who wields it," Odin stated, glancing at Heimdall.
"Who is its master?" Thor asked, looking at Heimdall as well.
"Loki." Heimdall replied simply.
The room was silent. Astrid's heart froze in her chest as she contemplated the words.
"But Loki's dead…." Astrid whispered softly, her voice cracking with emotion.
"No, he is not. He never was. He was beyond what I could see. But now he is on Midgard, and you both must stop him." Heimdall said.
"What do you mean, stop him?" Thor questioned. "What is he doing with the Tesseract?"
"We do not know what his plans are, but he has already caused havoc on Midgard, killing some of the mortals in the process. Whatever his intentions with the Tesseract are, they cannot be good," Odin spoke with a matter-of-fact tone, as if this news was nothing to him. As if his son was not doing this. "You will leave immediately."
They were dismissed to prepare. Astrid slipped her daggers into the crevices of her armor, but paused, staring down at the sleek dagger she held in her hand. This was Loki's dagger. Something she used to remember him. So that when she fought, he was still with her.
Her happiness that Loki was alive was crushed by the amount of hurt that coursed through her. Loki pretended to be dead. He faked his death. He let her believe that he was dead, gone from her life forever. And now that she had finally began to accept that he was gone, he decided to come back and wreak havoc on Midgard, harming innocent mortals. Her hurt was replaced by anger.
She contemplated about leaving this dagger behind, but as Thor called her name, she quickly shoved it into her armor, before following Thor, her brilliant violet cape fluttering behind her.
They quickly hugged their mother goodbye, and Astrid could see the fresh tears in her eyes. "Bring him home," Frigga told them softly, giving their hands firm squeezes, before she released them and they went to find Odin.
The process of sending them to Midgard was a lot like using the Bifrost, though it consumed much more energy.
Before they were sent hurtling through space towards Midgard, Odin placed his hands on both of their shoulders. "Be cautious, my children," he whispered, before Thor was sent through first. After a few moments, Odin turned to her. He gave her a gentle nod, and then she was hurtling towards Midgard.
Using the Bifrost was thrilling, but it was always a bit unsettling. This was more unsettling, the fear slipping into her mind as the sky opened up around her and she was suddenly flying through the sky of Midgard.
As she was speeding through the air, she saw Thor appear out of some sort of aircraft, before heading towards a tall mountain that overlooked a forest.
Astrid twisted her body in the air, angling herself towards the mountain, letting gravity pull her down to the ground, since she had no flying abilities. She relaxed her body, but braced her legs for the impact.
As she crashed down onto the mountain, she landed in a crouch, her hand splayed out on the rough rock underneath her, steadying herself, though her knee came down onto the rock a bit harder than she had intended. She let out a soft hiss of pain as she slowly stood up.
When the dust cleared from her landing, she saw Thor standing over Loki, who was laying on his back on the ground. They both turned to look at her when she appeared. Thor's gaze was filled with concern, while Loki's was shock, and maybe a bit of happiness, but Astrid failed to see it.
Her heart jumped at seeing Loki alive and well, but she kept reminding herself that he was the enemy, and that he was the God of Lies. She just never thought he would lie to her. Her face hardened as she glanced at him, trying to convince herself to stay strong. His actions were the reason that they were there. He was not the same brother that she once knew.
Yet, she always held a soft spot for him in her heart, regardless of everything he had done.
Astrid brushed the dust off her outfit, turning to Thor's concerned face. "I'm fine Thor. That was a bit rougher than I was expecting," she said with a grimace. She avoided looking at Loki. He didn't say anything either.
Thor was the first one to turn back to Loki. "Where is the Tesseract?" he demanded.
Loki just chuckled, turning back to look up at Thor. "I missed you too."
"Do I look to be in a gaming mood?" Thor hissed.
Loki slowly started to sit up. "You should thank me. With the Bifrost gone, how much dark energy did the Allfather have to muster to conjure you here? Your precious Earth," Loki spit back at him. Thor dropped his hammer to the ground as he stepped forward and practically dragged Loki to his feet, gripping his shoulder and Astrid could see his pause.
"I thought you were dead," Thor said more softly, a look of pain flashing across his face.
"Did you mourn?" Loki questioned plainly.
"We all did," Thor replied, glancing at Astrid, who refused to meet either of their gazes. "Our father-"
Loki put up a finger to silence him. "Your father," he corrected, ripping himself out of Thor's grasp. "He did tell you my true parentage, did he not?" he questioned as he started to step away from Thor.
The memories of the conversation in the Weapon's Vault still haunted her to this day. Maybe if she hadn't reacted the way she did to Loki, none of this would have happened.
Thor stared after Loki in disbelief. "We were raised together. We played together. We fought together! Do you remember none of that?"
Loki was quick to turn around. "I remember a shadow. Living in the shade of your greatness. Astrid and mother were the only ones who never saw me as the second-rate son," Astrid held her breath at his outburst. "I remember you tossing me into an abyss, I who was, and should be king!"
Astrid looked away, closing her eyes, forcing those horrible memories out of her mind. She never thought that Loki thought this way about himself. She never knew he felt so unloved by everyone but herself and her mother. Perhaps if she had known, she could have helped him.
"So you take the world I love as recompense for your imagined slights?" Thor questioned, gesturing to the world around them. "No. The Earth is under my protection, Loki." Thor threatened.
Loki simply laughed. "And you're doing a marvelous job with that. The humans slaughter each other in droves while you idly fret. I mean to rule them!"
"You think yourself above them?" Thor questioned.
"Well, yes." Loki responded, as if it was obvious.
"Then you have missed the truth of ruling, brother. A throne would suit you ill." Thor told him gently.
Loki bared his teeth and shoved his arm into Thor's chest, pushing him back and barreling past him.
"I've seen worlds you've never known about!" Loki declared. "I have grown, Odinson, in my exile," he spat towards Thor. Astrid remained silent, though her mind was churning. "I have seen the true power of the Tesseract, and when I wield it-"
Thor cut him off. "Who showed you this power? Who controls the would-be king?"
"I am a king!" Loki shouted.
"Not here!" Thor grabbed the shoulder of Loki's armor roughly, jostling him with every word. "You give up the Tesseract! You give up their pointless dream!" Then his voice softened and he gripped Loki's neck. "You come home," he pleaded.
Loki paused for a moment, staring at Thor, as if contemplating, before he gave a small smile and shrugged. "I don't have it."
Thor shoved him back and summoned his hammer before holding it in a threatening manner towards Loki.
"You need the cube to bring me home, but I've sent it off, I know not where," Loki stated simply.
Thor held out his hammer towards Loki. "You listen well, brother. I-"
Suddenly, something came whizzing past her, and barreled into Thor, taking him with it, as it went down into the trees and landed.
Loki simply stood in the same place. "I'm listening."
Astrid gasped and rushed to the side of the mountain and checked to make sure he was okay. She watched as a man wrapped in metal faced off with Thor, but she was not worried. Loki came to stand at her side as she watched as a battle broke out between the two.
She watched as he fought with whatever kind of creature it was, but stiffened when she saw something else land beside them. As Thor jumped towards this new opponent, Astrid watched as he held of a shield and as Thor's hammer struck its surface, a shockwave was sent through the air. Astrid threw an arm into the air to protect her face and once it was over, she noticed that the fighting had stopped. As she saw them make their way back towards them, Astrid finally spoke.
"You lied to me." She said without turning her gaze away from the three men.
She felt his gaze turn to her, and she could feel his confusion, but she replied quickly, "You told me that you would always be there for me. You lied."
Before Loki could say anything, the three returned and they all boarded the aircraft again. Astrid and Thor were introduced to Captain Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. Astrid gave them polite nods before she went to stand in the back of the aircraft with Thor. Thor kept his gaze on Loki, but Astrid refused to meet his eyes. The entire ride was filled with tense silence.
They landed on an even larger aircraft and Loki was taken away, while Thor and Astrid were taken to be introduced to the others.
Astrid sat at a large table while Thor was speaking to the new members of their little "team" about Loki's plan and how to stop.
She stared at her hands that were folded in her lap, as the others argued.
"His brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him," Astrid heard the scientist by the name of Bruce Banner, reply. Astrid felt a retort growing in her throat, but Thor beat her to it.
"I care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he is my brother." Astrid smiled to herself, glad that he was standing up for Loki.
"He killed 80 people in two days." Natasha, another agent on their "team" retorted sharply.
"He's adopted." Thor added and Astrid shot him a glare.
When there was silence, Astrid spoke out loud for the first time since they arrived at the Helicarrier. "Can I go see my brother now?"
All eyes turned to her, and she finally dragged her eyes away from her lap. Her anger at him had simmered down and she simply wanted to see him again.
"So, she does speak!" Tony exclaimed.
Steve glared at him, but spoke softly when his gaze returned to her. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea."
Astrid held his gaze. "I have been living long enough thinking my brother was dead. Now that I find out he's alive, don't you think I have the right to see him?"
Steve glanced at the man with the eyepatch, who seemed to act as their leader, by the name of Nick Fury. "I think she has a right to see him."
Nick nodded. "Maybe she can get information out of him."
"That is not my intent. I just want to see him." Astrid replied tersely.
"Then don't let her in. We need to get information. Not visit him and braid each other's hair and gossip, " Nick said looking at Astrid as he spoke.
"Sir, let her in. It's her brother. Besides, maybe he will slip something out anyway," Natasha said and gave a small smile towards Astrid. She mouthed a quick 'Thank you'. Natasha nodded in response.
Nick Fury tossed his hands up. "Fine, let her see him. But I want everyone's eyes on that conversation, waiting for him to slip up."
Natasha gestured to Astrid to follow her, and she led the way to Loki's cage. The winding hallways of the aircraft confused Astrid. She followed close behind Natasha as she stopped at the door that held the room that Loki was contained in and opened it. The door slid open silently.
"Be careful." She said to Astrid softly.
Astrid returned the smile gratefully. "Thank you, but this is my brother. He wouldn't hurt me."
Natasha looked unconvinced, but nodded and walked away.
Astrid took a deep breath and walked in. The first thing she saw was the glad cage in the center of the room. The second thing was Loki standing with his back towards her inside that glass cage. He was unaware of her presence. She smiled to herself and walked quietly until she was a few feet away from the glass.
"Hey." She said softly, but it was enough to startle him and cause him to spin around, eyes flashing, ready for a fight.
"It's only me." She said, and watched the anger drain from his eyes. She stopped to really look at her brother. His hair was longer and he looked more tired. She noticed slight bags under his eyes and he looked paler than he usually did. He met her gaze and she also noticed that his eyes looked a bit harder, though they softened slightly as he looked at her.
"Hey." He replied softly, staring at her face for a moment, as if studying her and taking her in. "What are you doing here?"
"What, I can't come and see my dead brother?" Astrid asked with a slight smile.
Loki frowned and looked away. "You know I'm not your brother."
"Yes, you are. I don't care if you're not my blood brother, but you were raised as my brother, so that's what you are." Astrid said sternly. "But I do still hate you for what you did to me."
Loki glanced back towards her, a puzzled look on his face.
"You let me believe you were dead!" The anger started rising up inside her. "You told me you would always be there for me, and that you would never leave me, and you lied to me!" Her vision was blurring with tears and one slipped down her cheek before she turned away from him, trying to compose herself.
"I had to do it…" he said softly and Astrid looked at him again. "I couldn't bear to see fath- Odin look at me that way, after what I had done. I couldn't bear to see you look the way you are now. Or the way you looked at me in the Weapon's Vault…" he whispered softly, "I would have rather died…" Loki looked away.
"And leave me?" Astrid demanded. "I needed you Loki."
"No, you didn't. Thor would have kept you safe."
"But he wasn't you. Sure, I hate you sometimes Loki, but you're the only one who really cares." She stepped closer to the glass and he looked like her old Loki. "Do you know how many times I have woken up from my nightmare alone? Because you weren't there! I needed you and you left me!" Astrid cried before her pleading eyes met his. "Why don't you stop this? Give us the Tesseract and just come home?" She asked hopefully.
The anger filled his eyes again and he stepped back, away from her. "No! I will not see the man who lied to me my entire life. The man who made me believe I was your brother. The man who never loved me!"
"You are my brother!" Astrid tried to reassure him, but she could see that he was now blinded by his anger for Odin.
"No, you're one of them." he spat at her. "You would never want a Frost Giant as a brother. I saw you in the vault that day. You were scared of me. You don't want me. You're only saying that to get me to break." His voice was filled with contempt. "Well you know what Astrid?" He pounded his fist on the glass once, causing her to flinch back. "I won't break. Not again. I am not weak. You won't get anything out of me. You think I don't know they're watching every word we say?" His eyes were icy and hard, so unlike the eyes she used to know. "Get out, Astrid. I have nothing to say to you."
Astrid flinched away from his gaze and she saw him smile at her reaction. Tears filled her eyes and she yelled at him. "Fine! If you think I don't need you then do whatever you want! I don't care anymore!" Rage filled her and she spit out at him. "You're right. You're not my brother. Because the Loki I knew would never hurt me like this. He would never leave me. He would never lie to me," she spit out. "You're not my Loki. My Loki is dead. He died that day on the Bifrost." Astrid didn't bother to see his reaction, before storming out of the room, tears streaming down her face, leaving Loki alone in his glass prison.
Ouch. Sorry for this.