This chapter is really, really dialogue heavy, The gap forming between Daryl and Jamie widens as Daryl kinda forgets about her, trying to ease the pain he constantly sees in Carol's eyes. It's not that Daryl's malicious- he's oblivious. Enjoy and please review!
They reached the church around noon. It was small, with white siding, and Carol tried to hide the obvious discomfort in her stance. The last time they'd been at a church, Sofia had just gone missing...
Daryl shot her a look and the tension in her body loosened slightly. Sofia was gone- had been, for two years. She had Jamie, now, and Daryl- that was enough.
"Here we are." Gabriel said happily, smiling as they approached the doors.
"We'll go in first, thanks." Rick said firmly, brushing past the priest. He held his revolver at the ready, Abraham and Glenn flanking him. Daryl shot Jamie a look- his anger had cooled slightly since she'd run off, but still- he was going to talk with her after this.
After the church had been deemed safe, Daryl emerged from the doors, nodding to Jamie. She wordlessly fell into step beside him, prepared for a tongue lashing.
Daryl looked down at her, voice slightly stern. "You don't just go runnin' off like that..."
"You didn't seem to have a problem when I did it at Terminus." she retorted easily, voice dangerous. She didn't know where the sudden spark of defiance had come from- probably from anger about yesterday evening, when he'd left her.
Daryl's eyes flashed slightly. "That's different and you know it. Running FROM danger and TOWARDS it are two totally different thangs..."
"Like leaving me alone was any different." Jamie muttered under her breath.
"What did you just say?" Daryl growled. He hadn't heard what she'd said, but he had a sneaking suspicion it was cussing...
"Nothing."
"Go ahead. Say it." Daryl insisted, voice rising slightly.
"I said it's nothing." Jamie said quietly. In the face of Daryl now, she was suddenly afraid to say anything...
Daryl shot her a look for a moment before he finally relented, sighing. "You need to watch your ass- this ain't the prison no more." was all he said, before turning and heading inside.
She felt tears pickle at the back of her eyes, then, watching him go. She knew what he meant. He wasn't able to guard her, wasn't able to protect her all, the time anymore. She couldn't help but feel she'd been kicked in the stomach, though.
Because he hadn't listened- she'd been too dumb to get the words out about how she felt. And just like that night in the clearing- he was just walking away again.
She leaned heavily against the siding of the church, getting herself under control. It was okay- everything was okay. She'd be alright, she reminded herself fiercely, she always had been. Daryl wasn't that mad- couldn't be. She'd seen him really mad before, and she knew all would be forgiven by nightfall. Rather, she hoped it would be- because she didn't know anything anymore.
She strode quietly into the church, however, head down, listening to Rick and Gabriel talk. Carl greeted her with a smile, which she returned half-heartedly. It was hard to smile when Daryl was mad at her.
Still, though, she strode over calmly, setting her bow down in an empty pew and standing beside him. He was playing with Judith- tickling her and smiling when she giggled.
She couldn't help but smile slightly as well.
"How'd it go?" Carl asked, curious about her talk with Daryl.
"Shitty. Apparently I need to 'watch my ass'." She mocked quietly, putting imaginary quotes around the words. "You do a good enough job of that already."
Carl snickered slightly at the double entandra.
"You do have a nice ass, though." He whispered quietly.
Jamie rolled her eyes. "Right..." she muttered sarcastically.
"I'm serious, here- with everybody that died- you're probably one of the most attractive people left."
"Yeah, sure- a girl who covers herself in guts is pretty damn attractive."
"Sure is." Carl said, serious. He liked her for that- most girls- his mother included- would probably panic at the thought of covering themselves in the entrails of the undead. Not Jamie- she was practical, she'd do whatever it was what he liked about her.
She blushed slightly, finding herself looking at her boots. She wanted to die right then and there, in that awkward silence, when Rick spoke.
"There's a food bank nearby. Gabriel will take us. We only need a few people- the rest can work on scavenging around this place, getting inventory..."
"I'll go." She was already grabbing her bow, quiver still slung over her shoulder, looking at Rick seriously.
Rick met her gaze- it seemed for a moment that he'd willingly take her. But he saw Daryl standing on high alert in the corner, and remembered- Jamie was still just a kid. Daryl quietly shook his head at Rick- he clearly didn't want her to go. He'd respect that.
"Adults, Jamie." was all Rick said, and she looked slightly crestfallen, taking a step or so backwards.
A few minutes later, the squad had been assembled. Abraham spoke up, clearly miffed. "We need vehicles for Washington. There's no guarantee this place will pay off. We should be moving on."
Rick shook his head. "If this place is anything like Gabriel said it is, it's worth it. We need supplies. We can't live off squirrels forever."
Jamie rolled her eyes- great, Another Shane was just what they needed. Someone to piss off Rick and the rest of the group...
"You do what you want. But this group-" he motioned to all of them, the ones who'd been around since the beginning. "Won't last long without supplies. Gabriel- let's go."
And they left the church with a nervous looking Gabriel, leaving the small place far less empty than before.
Carol strode over, nodding to Jamie. "Daryl and I are gonna check out around this place- see if anything's salvageable."
The girl perked up slightly, eyes alight...
"You should stay here." Carol said quietly, and she watched the light in the girl's eyes die. She nodded briskly to her before she left on Daryl's heels. It wasn't that she didn't want Jamie to come- it was that she knew Daryl wanted to tall about what'd happened when she was alone. She didn't plan on telling him, but if she did... she didn't want Jamie to hear it.
They left.
Jamie found herself walking around the outside of the church, frustrated. She shot a few arrows into a nearby tree trunk, killed a squirrel that'd ventured too close to her, and had settled down to skin it, back against the church wall, facing the woods. Even while she was working, she was restless- waiting for Daryl and Carol to come back.
She fucking hated waiting- every time they waited, every time they didn't act first- something bad happened.
She finished field-dressing the squirrel and tossed it to the side, idly stabbing the ground beside her, watching the tree line, bored but anxious. Something always happened... their luck always ran out.
The leaves crunched to the right of her, and she smiled after darting a glance over and seeing it was Carl. He seemed like her only company, nowadays.
He slid down to sit beside her- she could see the frown on his face.
"What's up?" she asked, concerned. Carl shrugged. "My Dad- Didn't like me running off this morning. Rambling on about how I'm never safe, how awful people are..."
"Well- Joe and his group of pedophiles and Terminus..."
"I know." Carl blurted out, desperate to make her understand. "But... just because they're assholes out there, crazy people- doesn't mean that all the good people are gone. You know?"
"Yeah- I guess. There's Abraham and Rosita and Eugene, I guess. But I swear- Abraham walks around with a stick up his ass." she admitted, referring to Abraham's rigidness and argument with Rick this morning. The joke didn't make Carl smile.
She sighed. "There are still good people out there, They're just... a lot harder to find." she reassured him finally.
Carl looked over at her quietly. "Sometimes, they find you."
She felt her heartbeat flutter, they both knew what he was talking about. That day, two years ago, when she'd stumbled out of the woods and into his life.
She looked away. "I can't do this today, Grimes." she admitted. "I can't be in love right now.". There wasn't time for this now- not with everyone out on a run, with Daryl mad at her...
Carl nodded, not at all offended by her statement. "Alright. I'll be your best friend, then- I brought you this." he reached into his back pocket, pulling out a rumbled up white cloth.
Jamie looked down at it, confused.
"It's for your face. Your bullet graze opened up while we were running." He explained quietly. "Wouldn't want it to get infected."
"Right." she nodded, licking her palm and doing her best to scrub the dirt and dried bloody from the wound. Carl wordlessly tore a strip of cloth off as a bandage, tying it around her head so it knotted at the base of her scraggly hair.
As he knelt behind Jamie, who was sitting back to him, she looked up at him. "Where'd you find that cloth, anyways?"
"It was a tablecloth. Found it on the altar." Carl supplied, not at all bothered he'd stolen a tablecloth from a church.
"Damn, Grimes- you stole from a church?"
"It isn't a church anymore. Besides- it was the only clean cloth I could find. You're more important than some altar to a god that doesn't exist."
She bit the inside of her cheek quietly. Her mother had read the bible to them at breakfast every morning, before. She remembered kneeling on the floor beside her bunk bed that she'd shared with Ryder when they were kids, saying her prayers at night. Before her family was torn to pieces by the damn outbreak.
She hadn't prayed in two years- not since Ryder had died. She'd screamed at god, sworn, and vowed never to speak to a man in the sky who could allow all this shit to happen to good people. Carl was right- god probably didn't exist.
Carl's fingers brushed lightly against her neck as he tied the makeshift bandage on, but neither of them felt the jolt of attraction like they normally did. Carl was true to his word- he wouldn't push her if she didn't want to be romantic right now. They'd been getting better at turning off romantic feelings when the need arose, now.
He finished tying the cloth, and Jamie turned to look at him.
She frowned. "I must look like a fucking idiot." she lamented. What nutcase wore a thin strip of cloth around their face like a bandana?
"You look fine. There's blood on it- makes it look badass." Carl reassured her, and she smiled. Even when Carl wasn't flirting, he knew just what to say.
They exchanged smiles for a moment, before Carl was staring at something behind her. She turned.
"Holy shit..." she muttered, seeing what he was staring at. There, carved into the peeling paint and wooden siding, was a message.
You'll burn for this.
Daryl was silent as they worked, not mentioning about what'd happened to Carol while he was gone. He was there if she wanted to talk- but content to wait in silence if she didn't.
He'd managed to find some gallon jugs of water and filled them, while Carol searched the trunk of an abandoned car for gear.
She'd managed to get the radio someone had stashed in the back to work- it only crackled static, however. Terminus was overrun- none of the cannibals were left to broadcast.
Carol nodded to him. "We should leave this here- incase things go to shit."
Daryl nodded, setting down the water jugs and wiping a hand across his brow.
Carol looked over at him curiously. "What happened to you and Jamie since the prison?"
Daryl instantly found the ground interesting, and was silent for a moment. How did one tell one's partner that they'd lost a group member before falling into a gang of vicious rapists and barely escaping alive?
Daryl looked up, finally. "It was Beth, Jamie and I for awhile." he admitted. "Then... walkers... they were everywhere. I yelled at Beth to get out, Jamie was helping me kill 'em... and some bastards put her in their car. Black cross on the back windshield."
Carol nodded, gaze still even. It was clear she didn't blame him for anything. in fact, she was impressed he'd manage to keep Jamie alive through all of this, what with what'd happened with Lizzy and Mika- it was another reminder Jamie was a different breed than most children.
Daryl paused, gaze flickering nervously towards her, as though he was afraid to say the next part. But he finally did.
"Jamie stabbed somebody." he said finally.
Carol allowed a small smile to grace her lips. "That's my girl." she deadpanned- but he could still see the concern in her eyes, wanting to know what'd happened.
"It was my fault- after Beth- we found a new group. Buncha biker dudes- seemed safe enough, they had rules- I figured we could hang with 'em for awhile. Was safer than trying to keep Jamie on my own. 'Specially after Beth..."
Carol waited silently, and he continued.
"I was wrong. They were assholes. I heard them beat a man to death out back- Jamie heard it, too. I wanted out. But see, these people weren't the kind to just let you leave. They'd been tracking down a group, somebody who'd killed one of their guys. I figured we'd stay with 'em and sneak away when they found who they were looking for."
"And?"
"They were looking for Rick and his boy, and Michonne."
Carol's eyes widened slightly.
"I told Jamie to stay in the woods, tried to talk them out of it. They didn't listen. Some sick fuck was on top of the Grimes boy, tried to get his pants off... There were three of them on me. I couldn't do a damn thing." Daryl growled bitterly. "I still can't forget the look on his face."
"Jamie shot somebody in the shoulder. They found her, though, dragged her out... Somebody got on her, too, they was tearin' at her shirt and I just... I was fucking screaming her name like a bitch. I couldn't do nothin'." his voice came dangerously close to breaking at this point.
"But she found a knife. Think it belonged to the Grimes boy, he was only a few feet away... she stabbed that bastard under the ribs. Fucker wasn't dead yet, though, she was scared... She dragged the blade down. Gut the fucker like a fish. Rick ripped somebody's throat out, and the three boys on me... all I remember is stomping some bastard's head in."
Carol nodded. She'd seen Daryl Dixon when he was enraged before, after Merle's death, and she had no doubt he was capable of killing. Especially if Jamie was at stake.
"Anyways... we made it out. Hit Terminus, things went to shit. Jamie sliced out the back of some fucker's knees, managed to dodged the bullets with Carl- they got out. And then I found you... Daryl looked up at her, eyes moist with emotion. He wanted to reach out, to stroke her face and hold her. But they were busy, now- and Ed had assured Carol didn't like physical contact with men. So he kept his distance.
"You did good." Carol said, attempting to reassure him he'd done nothing short of a miracle in keeping Jamie alive.
Daryl shook his head, eying the ground. "I got lucky." he admitted. There were so many situations they never should've made it out of- hell, he'd practically led her into the lion's den at Terminus. It was only her quick thinking that'd made sure she'd escaped. She was lucky, lucky all she'd got was that nasty bullet graze...
"Yeah, well- at least your girl is alive." Carol said bitterly, a spark of... was that pain... in her eyes.
And for the first time, Daryl understood why she didn't want to talk about what happened to her when she was without him.
Rick had returned from the food bank victorious- Jamie found herself sitting beside Carl, digging into a can of baked beans and passing a half-finished bottle of communion wine between them.
Daryl and Carol had settled in the back of the church, both of them talking quietly amongst themselves. Jamie didn't bother to talk to them, instead devoting her full attention to Carl and the feeling of wealth as she was allowed to eat an entire can of food. She hadn't eaten this well in awhile.
The wine gave them both a slight buzz, but nothing more- it wasn't as strong as Jack Daniels. But it warmed their insides and made everything more pleasant, made it easier to laugh.
She was preoccupied with happiness and hope- two emotions that felt foreign, they'd been absent from her life for that long. But they'd returned, now, and she shared a look with Carl before raising the bottle to her lips again.
She didn't notice Carol slip outside, nor Daryl heading out after her. Didn't know they'd even left, let alone realized they were all the way beside the car. Didn't know they'd found a carl with a black cross on the back windshield, and didn't know Daryl had jumped into the driver's seat and followed after it- so concerned about Beth he barely gave a thought to the girl he was leaving behind.
Poio666, Chapter 80
I love Jamie's interaction with Carl. It is like a mother with her puppy. It was amazing, I just hope that clears things Daryl 'n Jamie
Response; I wish. These next few chapters are going to be... rough... for Jamie. Not gonna say anymore than that- please review with predictions!
Smclendon, Chapter 80
Loving every minute of it!
Response: Glad you're enjoying it!